Memoirs of a Raging BULL

Dear Heidi Montag

2010-01-21T18:38:00.003-05:00

Good job, bitch.

Real talk, Heidi, I don't know who you are.....or why you are on tv or why I should even give a fuck that you are on tv or had all that plastic surgery, but I think you did a good damn job.

peep the transformation hhhheeerrreeee muhfuggahs.

You went from a lack luster ass pink toe, to a pretty damn good looking pink toe.

-the Motherfuckin' BULLY

I'm not even gonna title this shit

2010-01-19T08:20:00.004-05:00

Holy shit.....my weekend has sucked.

Shit, 2010 has been sucking........and no one has been sucking on me....not even a little bit.....not even a lick lick lick kiss "Is that good enough?"

So, yeah, my b-day is in Feb, so that means my car registration is about to expire, so that means it's time to get my vehicle registered in Md. ........Yeah, that's totally gonna be like $600 to get the car and the trizzuck registered and shit. Oh, but wait, Md has Vehicle inspections....that shit is gonna run me atleast 60 bucks per vehicle......oh, and Md. has like the most strict vehicle inspection criteria in the motherfuckin' country.....not a problem for the sexy lil Maxima, but the Old Bitch....yeah, that's gonna be a problem.....

Shit that I know is gonna have to be fixed/replaced/removed to pass inspection:
-Limo ass tint has got to go (that's that bullshit...STRAIGHT UP. I've had that dark tint on my shit for like 6-7 years....it has enabled me to get my fuck on in a pretty public place....like in the parking lot RIGHT in front of a Hookah Bar. Fuck you......at least she was my girlfriend...and not yours....our someone's wife.)

-Muffler...gotta gotta put one BACK on the truck. Yeah, it was perfectly fine until I crawled under the truck one day with a hacksaw in hand.......Yeah, that shit def upped the redneck level of the truck by a few notches....it was/is awesome.

-Leaky ass power steering unit: Who gives a shit???? aint like I didn't disconnect that shit and rode out with it for like 6 months.....hhmmmm that gives me an idea. If I disconnect it again, and let all of the fluid run out, then hey.....no leaky ass power steering unit....no problem (Yeah, I think I just figured out how to beat the system. So fucking what if you have to be a damn MAN to steer that bitch. I'm a damn MAN, if you can't handle it, then keep yo bitch ass out of the driver's seat)

-Door handle....So, part of the inspection criteria is that you must be able to open all doors from the inside and out......yeah, my whole driverside door handle situation is fucked.......straight FUCKED. Like, even if I could find another door handle fixture and shit to put back in there, it wouldn't matter because the sheet metal that you are supposed to mount it to is torn.......it doesn't bother me to wind down the window and open the door from the outside, why does it bother you and or the state of Md.??? ....bitch

-Emissions....they check that shit too..I don't know for sure if my emissions are gonna come out bad, but seeing how I have had issues with my exhaust gas recirculation system....I'm pretty sure my shit is dumping a few extra chemicals into the atmosphere. Maybe I will remedy that by installing a lil cotton ass filter whilst I am putting in my new cheap ass muffler.......yeah, I went on line and found the cheapest muffler that I possibly could find. It is like $27. I'm gonna clamp that shit on as shittily as I possibly can....and hope like hell that shit falls off in the parking lot RIGHT after they give me my inspection sticker saying I passed.

Yeah, your vehicl only has to pass inspection once. That pisses me off, like I there has to be a billion other old ass cars in Md that are shittier than my truck, but since they were last bought/sold when they were new/pretty new they easily passed inspection and can now rot afuckingpart....but the truck (Mind you, it will be 15 this summer) has to go through this shit. Straight Byoolshit.

The Verizon vs AT&T commercials are tripping me the fuck out. Lemme preface this part of the rant with a joke. (Yeah, I stole this shit from Micheal Conyers.......I'm sure most of y'all don't even remember him)

So.....a mouse and an elephant are walking through the jungle.......just coolin out and shit...smokin' on a fat ass blunt. The elephant was bogartin' the shit out of the blunt, tomboutsum "Bitch, I'm big as fugg.....I gotta hit this shit longer....the logistics on this shit is bananas..."

Anyway.....

The motherfuckas are walking through the jungle and the motherfuckin' mouse falls in a big ass hole...like fell all the way to the bottom of that bitch.

The elephant, higher than a muhfuggah is like "Aye lil nigga, don't even sweat it...I gotchu" This big sumbitch pulls out his dack and drops down into the hole.

The mouse is PISSED ".....the fuck wrong witcho big ass?"

Elephant "Naw, muhfuggah, no homo, but you can run up my dick and be out the hole n' shit"

So, the mouse ran up on the elephant's dick and made it out the hole and was all happy and shit, but made sure to wash the shit outta his feet cause the elephant used to fuck a lotta hoes.

So, a few weeks later...they are out kickin it again. Walkin' in the jungle.....smokin a blunt (the mouse made the elephant buy this time)

So, yeah, they are walkin' and shit and all of a sudden, the elephant falls in a huge ass hole. The mouse is like "Hey, homey, don't even sweat it.....I gotchu" Mouse runs off, and shows back up about 45 mins later....with his mercedes.

The mouse hollars out the window "Hey, dog, reach your long ass Gonzo from the Muppets ass nose and grab my bumper. Grab hold of my bumper and I'll pull you out"

So, the mouse pulls the big ass elephant out of the hole and all is well.

Moral of the story...if you have a Mercedes, you don't need a big ass dick.

So, Verizon and AT&T is such a dick contest. Verizon is all "Hey America, look how big my dick is....my dick is big and red and covers up yo big ass tv screen, motherfuckah." and AT&T is all like "Nigga, look how good I am with my moderately sized dick.....look at what I can do and how well I can do it. So what if you dick is big, Verizon, nigga you still don't know how to fuck. Nigga, my stroke is SICK, son." And verizon comes back like "Yeah, well...my dick is HUGE kid.....mother fuckin huge....nigga, they call me DANGLE in this motherfuckuh."

AT&T is like "So, bitch, you still cant work them corners and side walls like me......who gon' check me?"

So, yeah, again I realized that Md. Has some wack ass laws. I had a run with that shit this weekend. Led to a really shitty weekend...gonna cost me a super grip ass grip (Yeah, so that shit is on top of the shit for registration and truck repairs and oh, yeah, the $1400-$1700 dollars worth of dental work I need done because I started grinding my teeth in my sleep after I lost my job) Shit aint too good for your boy right now.

So, I have a friend, a female friend that I have been super nice too, sympathetic to her fucked up ass situations and shit. Taken her out, bought her food and drinks, let her stay in hotel rooms with me a couple times, free of charge, I've spent countless hours on the phone with her while she cried about her ex-boyfriend and shit...actually if you go back a few years a bunch of cock blocking ass hours in person too. I've been stupid nice to chick. Stupid nice, especially considering I'm not even trying to fugg. She ain't ugly, and under normal circumstances I damn sure would have tried to put some in her hair, but she is the ex of one my best friends...yeah, E-dot, I'm talking about your girl.

So I tell her about my FUCKED up weekend (via yahoo im), she asks if I am serious about what I told her and then goes on to talk about how she just saw someone get beat down by the cops or some shit. Like...my fuckin' problem didn't matter worth a shit. And believe you me, my shit is/was pretty really seriously fucked.

Yeah, she can thank her damn self for losing someone, that she has said herself, was one of her best friends that has always been there for her.....good job, B.

Ummm what else????

......Idk

I guess I'll save some for later.

-the Muthafuggin BULLY

Maybe I should blog on it.....

2009-09-24T10:14:00.002-04:00

I'm not, though.

Not now, at least.

Ok, maybe I will.......

Sometimes I wish I could feel a certain way about certain things......but then maybe sometimes I'm glad I don't feel a certain way about sertain things.

Most of the time i wish I didn't feel shit about a lot of things.

Used to be that way.....life was a little more dull, though, but a lot more carefree.

Fuckin' trade offs.

I feel way more shit about shit now than I ever have....it sucks.

Ugh....I need to detox, but don't quite have the strength to do it, ok maybe I have the strength, but not the dsicipline.

Fuck it.........I actually have both. I just lack the desire to do it....whole hearted desire, at least.

I know what needs to be done, and I should just do it.

I really should.....logically, what I'm doing is pointless.

Too bad the non-logical side of me is punk.

Dear Regularly Sex Having Muthafuchahs

2009-09-23T14:12:00.003-04:00

FUCK YOOOOUUUUUUAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Naw, seriously........fuck you.

.....Ugh

Yeah, so my mood is getting all fucked up. And I've been through this before. I know what i am getting into, and what it will turn into. When I was in Texas I went for a long ass time without getting any guts, and when I finally did.....OH. EM. GEE.

Like.....that shit changed my whole perspective on life and the world and all that shit. After I got that long due non manually achieved nut, the birds sang prettier, the sky was bluer, the sun was warmer and brighter.....fuckin Rush Limbaugh wasn't that bad of a dude and Bush was actually a pretty aight President. And I was happy and had that "Everything is gonna be alright" feeling.

Now....I'm just a little pissy.

But I'm getting worse.

I've slept with....yes, JUST SLEPT....like cuddle a little, like platonicly, with my homegirl (We have always just slept together and stuff...not on a relationship type thing,just on a "hey, this is nice" type thing). We have done it twice. The first time it was cool. The second time not so much. I was like "We aren't gonna be doing this for long......this platonic shit isn't what I want and I am just gonna get pissed and be like fuck all that.

I think I am at that point now......like 3-4 days later.

My pissivity level is increasing exponentially. ....fuck that linear shit. (non math peeps, Google a graph of y=a+bx and y=x^n then compare.......yeah, nigga, I'm assigning homework)

I kinda wanna see if I can finish out 2009 with out having secks....but I might end up flippin the fuck out on a mofo.....if around the middle of November y'all hear about some thick ass Mighty Joe Young ass looking nigga running around the DMV grippin up women's asses and slappin the shit out of their boyfriends.....then you will know the strain was too much for my feable little sanity.

-the Muthafuckin' BULLY

Oh, oh yeah

2009-09-16T08:41:00.002-04:00

My dad's twin brother died a couple weeks ago.

Believe it or not, I actually felt bad for my dad. My dad's twin brother was one of the VERY few things he truly loved. He truly loved his twin brother, his mom, and Kappa Alpha fuckin Psi.

His moms died when I was like two....and no she was not a particularly nice lady. I mean, fuuuccckkkk, yeah, I think I was more aware of things than your average 2 yr old, and maybe that is evident of me remembering shit from when I was two, but she was never really all that nice to my sister or I.

She didn't like my moms.

Actually, none of those low life piece of shit motherfuckers (dad's fam) liked my mom.

Fuck them.

Anyway, my dad's twin brother died and I actually felt bad for my dad. Fucking getting older and softer and all emotional is a fuckin' trip.

So moms and sis are going to the funeral.

Well, moms, sis, and sis' dude are going down ther.

Pops wants me to come.

Fuck that.

1) I don't go to funerals. I put on the suit and meet you back at the crib where people will be after the funeral. I'll eat, and I'll kick it with you and make jokes and shit. I don't do funerals. When Big Chris' pops died, I put on the suit, drove moms to the Church, picked moms up from the church and went back to the crib, and cut jokes.

2)WWWWHHHYYYYYYY the fuck should I be expected to show up to some nigga's funeral that prolly wouldn't even be dead right now if he didn't smoke so many fuckin' rocks?

I mean, it kinda does make me sad, cause I know that pops won't be living much longer either, as he has also enjoyed a great many of the rocks, but shit.

Another question is will I go to Pops' funeral when ever he dies?

Idk....I mean....I can't even say I would want to join up with those people after the service and eat and cut jokes.

Just thought about something....someone once told me that they were jealous of how close I am with my family and because I was able to always do stuff with them.

I don't fuck with ANYONE on my dad's side of the family. Don't have a relationship with my my moms mom. Haven't cared for my uncle since I was like 9 or 10. and Care MUCH less for him now...or the past few years.

For all real purposes I have 2 people in my family that I kick it with. 2.

I mean yeah, me and moms and sis have a real real good thing going, but it is just us. I think it would be nice to be able to go and visit this uncle and that aunt and this cousin and that cousin. I don't even fuckin respond to my dad's twin brother's kids when they write on my myspace wall. (Ok, I have no real reason for that, other than they have the family name. I shouldn't be so bad about them...i should reach out to them........)

Anyway....that's enough of that shit.

-the ever lovin BULLY

Merging Monster

2009-09-16T07:30:00.003-04:00

Thats waht the fuck I am. I am kinda starting to enjoy driving in DC, and learning to drive like a DC person. These cats drive pretty aggressively, and not unlike assholes......and I refuse to be out aggressively driven or assholed.

Okay, most of the times I've driven in DC I've been on chill mode. I'm getting older and much more relaxed. (Fugg you, Rock Head, I'm not a sissy, just more sensible. And I hope you are ok...if I don't hear from you with in a week, you better believe I'm calling your damn job.)

Naw, but what had happened was, I drove the ol' green truck (My '95 extended cab f-150) to DC this past weekend. Drove that bitch all over...all around Suitland, Bowie, down to Adams Morgan, over to Silver Spring (picked up some DC chick, for lunch, in the truck....cause I don't give a fuck.....which is hella funny, cause the truck is old and wore out...damn near hooptie status (ac doesn't work, driverside inside door handle is broken off so I have to reach out the window and open my door from outside, i'm sure it smells a little sweaty, and then smells from the various fluids (Powersteering and Transmissions fluids, Some antifreeze/coolant and the bottles all leak and keep the floor in the back seat a nice wet oily mess) that I have to keep on hand because of the leaking issues. Its mine, though and I've had it since I was 14 and I loves it) Nigga.....when you are driving a fourteen year old truck with fucked up paint on the hood and roof and you try to merge, people just let you because they know you don't give a fugg.

Wait, did I also forget to mention the big ass dent in the front bumper and the dents and scratches on the passenger side from some trees one time? Or that the rims are all dull and wore out looking?

Yeah, that is my muthafuckin truck.

Blow me.

Anyway...your boy is a non-profiteer now. I am volunteering my time and efforts to this lovely org: Louise's Angels. It's a great cause....it's purpose is to empower inner city girls. It is just getting started by a very motivated and intelligent young lady. I'd gush more about it, but it prolly deserves it's own blog, so I will gush more there.

Yeah, but go check it out. If you are in the DC area, letchur boy know. I'll let you know bout what we got going on.

But...... yeah, your boy is finally getting into the not-for-profit world. Working with Louise's Angels will not only be a great outlet for me to use to give to the community, it will also help me learn what I will need to know to eventually do my own thang.

yyyuuuuppppp

-the BULLY

p.s.: gucci bandana, gucci gucci bandana

......Ugh

2009-09-10T07:46:00.004-04:00

I'm tired.

The weather is all shitty, like grey and a little rainy.

Traveling all last week has kinda knocked me off of what was becoming a decent sleep routine, and hydration regiment.

I am feeling a little homesick. Like.... there is just stuff going on back home and I feel like I should be there for my mom and sis.

Top 3 things going on at home:
1) Moms is kinda sick
2) My sister is dating some dude (not that he is a bad dude, but I would like for her to be with someone that is doing more with his life, but he seems nice and he is making my happy so that is what is most important)......there was some drama that started over a rumor (I hope thats all it was) (And since my sis is dating dude that leaves her less time to spend with moms)
3) My Dad's brother died on Saturday and the funeral stuff is kinda stressing moms out because my dad's fam has been straight up dicks to her before (I don't fucks with my dads fam....)
4) I'm missing the Amazon....yeah yeah yeah, I don't think she was right for me and all that, but I do care about her and feel really close to her. I don't bitch about my problems to many people. Not like personal emotional type stuff. And when I mean not many I mean like only Moms and the Amazon and my sis. And I had gotten to the point to where I talked about more stuff to the Amazon. And I miss the little stuff like watching tv and shit with her and like when I am run across cool restaurants or museums or some shit, the first thing that goes through my mind is "Ooh, I should bring the Amazon here, she would love this". And I think like If I miss doing all of this with her why do I not with her. And I guess it goes back to her not being right for me. I miss her when I haven't been with her, but the feeling fades after being with her for a while and spending extended periods of time with her.

I don't understand that shit.

So, anyway, there is a void left by her. Pretty damn big void. (Yeah, your boy is open........like i spend time with a nice chick and I want more.....and mmmooooorrrreee. And to make things worse, I think going through this whole no job thing has made me a lot softer. I don't handle adverse situations well.)

I ended up hanging out with her some on Sunday night. It was hella cool, but then it kinda wasn't. It wasn't the same (big surprise there). The differenceness built up in me which led me to abruptly leaving.

I wish I never went over there.

I went because she called me to get some stuff I had left over there, like a couple old t-shirts and a pair of old ass sweatpants. I was kinda hoping that meant she just wanted me to come over so we could hang like we used to do.

Yeah, well, its my bed.....I gotta lay in it.....I gotta lay in it by mydamnself.

-Mr. Pickle

Shady and Suspect.....

2009-08-31T08:20:00.002-04:00

So, I met this chick last weekend.....during the most awkward weekend ever, and we have talked a couple times. She seems aight.....I'm still trying to figure out some of these D.C. folks. Well, actually, not trying to do too much figuring. D.C. has the most rediculously high S.T.D. rates of all time. ......like rediculous, and I love Steve and myself wwwwaaaayyyyy tttooooo muuuccchhhh to fuck around and end up with Swine Clap. And since this is DC, and tons of gay dudes i feel the need to explain that Steve is the name of my wiener.

Anyway, back to chick. I added her as a friend on twitter and her profile says she is a blogger. I ask her about her blog and she is tells me she does not want me to read it, at least not now. So, I'm all like "Damn, what are you trying to hide?" and she says some crap about her just not wanting me to read it yet, so fine. Ioneven tell most chicks about the blog because I talk about their asses hard on here sometimes.....Ha!

So that was the beginning of last week. I talked to her last night and ended up telling her I blogged too, but wasn't gonna tell her my site address. I'd do it when she did it. And all of a sudden holding that shit back is now "shady".

I tells her "What's good for the goose is good for the gander".

And I am talking more about how damn near all of my twitter friends are blogger buddies and we all frequent the same blog.

"That's shady and suspect...."

I ask her what's the difference between her doing it and I, then tell her "If you don't like it, then don't do it."

Sooooo, yyyeeeaaahhhh.....lol.

-Mr. Funktastic

p.s.: I didn't put on deoderant this morning.

P-90X

2009-08-28T07:25:00.003-04:00

Consider this some sort of PSA:

BBBBBBBEEEEEEIIIIIITTTTTTCCCCCCHHHHHHH

-Fin

So, I'm eating my breakfast....well, my sister says I actually drink my breakfast. She has a point. I do Oatmeal for breakfast and I make it with extra water so I can gulp it on down easy. (Shit, I went though a period where I put enough water in it to be able to drink it with a straw.....and I did drink it with a straw, which my sister deemed "Gross") Anyway....if i was on a boat I'd be eating oatmeal ON A MUTHAFUGGIN BOAT.

Ok, that P-90x shit. Supposed to work based on that muscle confusion principle. That shit is a very valid principle. I mean, it really is. So, I'm gonna be traveling a lot and the P-90x program has been seeming quite interesting, inviting,......tempting even (if you don't like my gratuitous use of commas, BLOW ME) , so I decided to start checking it out, getting my research on. Sssoooooo, I find out that shit is an everyday program......EVERY FUCKING DAY type program. On top of the everyday shit, it's like twice a day part of the fuckin' time.

Every fuckin' day, sometimes twice a day, for 90 fuckin days? Lets see 90/7 = like, damn near 13 weeks = like 3 and a quarter fuckin months.

Fuckin bananas.

Oh, and the workouts are around 45-60 minutes long

Not saying the shit doesn't work, or that it is super calo crazy, but at an hour a day, sometimes twice a day I don't give a fuck what you fuckin' do, you will lose wieght and get in in better shape.

Here is a list of shit that it you do it for 1-2 hours a day for 3.25 months straight will get you in shape:
1) Walking around the neighbor hood
2) Fuckin'
3) Vigorously masterbating while watching people fugg
4) Swimming
5) Painting a fuggin house
6) J-settin'
7) Vogueing down the toilet papaer Aisl in Walmart
8) Talking tough and doing tough things
9) Doing hoodrat things

And that is just a short list.

Point I am trying to make is that if you have the dedication and motivation to do shit just do it, don't pay some ass that has prolly been lipoed and roided out and shit $120 bucks just to do what he did. Just be dedicated and do shit.

Now, if you are wondering if I still am thinking about ordering that shit....well, yes, i am. But I'm not gonna do it until after I hae spent 13 weeks doing the following:
1) Fuggin
2) Vigorously Masterbating while watching people fugg
3) Hoodrat things
4) Talking tough and doing tough things
5) Painting a fuggin' house
6) Puttin' niggas in my Kufi category

-the BULLY

bblllaaahhhh

2009-08-26T07:46:00.002-04:00

Hey.

It's like 7:45 am and so far I have drank like 2.5 quarts of water, and I am about to refill my water bottle again.

Ok. I just refilled my bottle. Its an old greet 1 quart squeeze bottle from gatorade. It was part of a pack. Came with a few packs of gatorade powder. Think I bought it when I was in highschool, and it is now sitting in here on my desk.....ten years after highschool.

Ok. I'm about to start out on a lesson for the acquisitions training that I have to go through fro my job. Its a ton of shit. Boring as aaaallll hell, but I'm trying to bang thorugh it as much as I can, before my work load revs up. So, yeah, get through a lesson, then set up my health insurance..and 401k type thing, then do another lesson. And I have some sort of meeting this after noon (big fun)

Yeah, if you hadn't noticed I'm feeling very BLAH right now. Its hard not to feel blah when you don't have anything to do at work yet, other than boring ass online courses. And I think the lack of sleep is catching up with me too, but I am starting to get a handle on it. I was sleep by 10:30 last night, and by 11 the night before. I slept in on Monday and got my 8 hours. I get up at 5:30, so getting to bed is pretty important. I get up at 5:30, and get in around 15 minutes of cardio. I alternate between going out and jogging and doing stuff in the In-Home-Gym (Pull-ups, Push-ups, hitting the punching bag and jumping rope (9' cielings are awesome))

Getting dedicated to the whole health and fitness thing again. Working on my hydration, eating veggies and fruit......Shit, I can't believe that by 9 am, I will have downed a gallon of water. My water consumption tapers off after that, though. Maybe I should try to spread my consumption out more evenly......maybe.

Ok, gonna go be productive.

-the Pickle

Maybe it's a little excessive.....

2009-08-13T10:09:00.002-04:00

So as part of this whole "New Life" thing I have gotten back on my workout/eat better/be healthier kick. I started my extended vacay pretty well motivated got even more motivated, even got a lil over the top for a while. Started using this pre-workout supplement, Superpump 250....and MMMMAAAANNNN that shit would jack me up, have me in the gym on some hurculean type shit.

This is what they say it will do:
"About SuperPump250
In the Pre-workout category, SuperPump250™ is the reigning King of dramatic effects. Athletes who try SuperPump virtually never go back to any other pre-workout supplement, and its effects are so profound that the thought of training without it is simply out of the question for most users. In the groundbreaking independent clinical trial, increases in lean muscle mass nearly tripled in a single workout with just 1 dose of SuperPump250™ as compared to not taking the supplement. If that’s not enough, body fat percentages simultaneously dropped as opposed to no changes in body fat recorded without the supplement. Consider all this with the added effects of explosive energy, mental focus and strength, and you’re left with seemingly very little to consider. Ask anyone who tries this super anti-catabolic powerhouse and you’ll hear the same answer over and over – you’re going to look and feel incredible on SuperPump250!"

NNniiiigggaaa I would take that shit, wait about 30 mins til I felt it start to kick in, then drive to the gym, took like 15 minutes, get in there and hop on cardio for like 30-40 minutes....like STRAIGHT GETTIN' IT. Then lift for like an hour, hour and a half (like compounding everything, 4 sets of 12....and as little rest as possible) then bang out another 30-40 minutes of cardio.

I was on some dumb shit in the gym.

And the "Mental Focus"....that shit just means you don't want to do ANYTHING else but get after it in the gym.

So, they say you must drink AT LEAST a gallon of water a day. I was doing that...little more. I used that shit for about a month, month and a half. Eventually I got to where I had a hard time sleeping and I could not drink enough water to stay hydrated and not have concentrated stinky pee. I mean, I got to the point to where I was drinking 2 gallons of water a day...actually, over 2 gallons a day. And as soon as I drank a lil, I would have to piss and my pee would still be strong.

I stopped taking it and for like another few weeks I still had the super short time before needing to pee....I'm guessing that shit accumulated up in my body and my system just rrrreeeaaallly wanted to flush it out of me.

So, anyway, I stop taking that shit and could not get myself to consistantly workout. Couldn't develop hardly anydrive, and then coming off that shit that hyped me up mentally and physically to train...your boy wasn't worth shit.

So, lthe last 2.5-3 months of my unemployment ended up being me mostly just sitting around, not doing shit and my diet went from eating meals like broiled tilapia filets, wheat bread, and water, to like three bowls of cap'n crunch with a lil added sugar.

Yeah, totally gained back my 20lbs. that I had lost.

So, by the time I was started my job (My start date was Aug. 03.....like 10 days ago) I was ready to get back into the swing of things (I was actually ready a lil before then, butI was still being lazy and just figured I would wait on my new beginnings to change up everything). I've been doing pretty well so far.

I get up at 5:30a.m. get in approx 15 minutes of cardio (Running M-W-F and a combo of the hitting my punching bag, pull-ups, and jumprope on Tuesday and Thursday). No, it's not a full workout, but it is just enough to spark up one's metabo, and I will up it once I start to get in better shape. I make it in the gym in the evenings trying to lift and hit more cardio. I haven't been super stellar in that because it is taking me a lil bit to get used to 9.5 hour long days (especially coming off of not doing shit for 8 months).

Dietwise, I'm cooking my dinners, mostly in the oven, cooked a roast in the crock pot yesterday. Keeping more chicken and fish in the diet. Making sure to have veggies in my meals. Eating oatmeal for breakfast everyday (yeah, I'm gully. Just straight plain oatmeal, made with extra water so I can drink (with a lil bit of chewage) it down). And I bring fruit with me to work to snack on during the day. If I get too hungry between meals and don't feel like eating fruit I will run to the lil cafeteria and get a cup of soup or chili.

Oh, and back to drinking lots of water.

Yeah, so if you have been paying attention thats lots of water, veggies, and fruit which equals lots of jizzle that I can complimented on for its almost pleasant taste and lack of odour.

Don't make that face.

Not my fault that chicks have complimented me on the flavor of my jizzle before. (Hey, its also not my fault I love giving chicks the opportunity to taste my jizzlings.)

The only side effect, is that with all this water consumption, I stay going to the bathroom. Around once an hour. Maybe a lil more.

Whatevs, the good far outweighs the bad.

-the BULLY

I fuckin' promise

2009-08-12T10:19:00.002-04:00

Yo, real talk....I get back in shape I'm rockin tight ass shirts like no ones fuckin' bidness.

For fuckin' real.

Shit, I get my legs lookin' right, I'm gonna start rockin them little ass shorts like your P.E. coach used to wear back when you were in elementary school....(that's for all us 25 plus folk.....not y'all young punk as mofos)

Fuckin' right.

Hey, dudes, if you out with your girl, and I'm in some ol' snugg ass t-shirt.... now, we both know she gonna be looking at your boy, I will make eyes RIGHT back at her. Fuck you and your inabilty to keep your girls attention.

-the Muthafuckin' BULLY

A certain type of way

2009-08-12T09:10:00.003-04:00

That's how your boy is feeling right now.

New job.

New re-commitment to working out.

It looks like things are over with the Amazon.....AAAGGGAAAIIIINNNN.

It's like my life is starting over again.

Not from the beginning....like not a whole new fresh sheet or page or nothing, more like I wrote a whole bunch, didn't quite like where things were going , kinda drew a few lines through the previous shit and started back writing, but still using the shit I already wrote to guide me.

Yeah, new job is with the Gubment. Seems like I will enjoy it. There are 4 people in my group, and they are looking to add a 5th. So, there is me, a dude that is almost 3 years deep/out of college, bout to finish his development program and two older cats...like mid fifty range.

The young dude is a stereotypical nerdyish, fat pimply balding engineering fuck. Seems like a decent guy, kinda straight arrow type that is only so straight arrow because he doesn't really have the balls to behave otherwise, but would love to be a lil more out there. The older cats are smart ass potty mouths that say shit that really shouldn't be said in the work place. One of them is my team lead. Dude straight told me that the gubment has no performance standards and if I wanted to just sit here and surf the net and play solitaire for the next 40 yrs i could. He also said working with the gubment can be whatever you make it...if I show initiative and don't piss people off, I could go very far, but if I didn't do shit I could at least keep my job.....as long as I didn't punch my boss in the face while other people were watching or really just piss someone off and then they could get me for abuse of the innanets or using the phone for personal use (don't have to worry about me using the phone for personal use)

So, also he helped me to understand why the gubment pays so damn much for the shit it buys /uses (atleast as far as defense shit goes). It boils down to the gubment wanting to be able to ensure we get the highest quality shit possible. Basically we dump gobs of money on contractors for shit so they aren't left feeling the need to cut corners on shit to make a profit. Give them plenty enough to get shit done exactly how we want it, give them enough money so they an afford to just pay people to sit around and think up better shit, and just stay closely enough involved in their processes to ensure they really are doing what you want them to do.

I don't feel like the gubment just unnecessarily gives away money to contractors just to grease the pockets of people like Chaney 'nem......so much anymore.

I also have a better understanding of how politics affects everything and how it can really be detrimental to shit.....like how huge the F-35 is being touted as being so super duper...yeah, its good and all, but the real deal behind it is that it is bringing soooo much work and money to so many states and....even foriegn countries.

Yeah, so like I said, I just started the job, so yeah....I'm gonna have a lot of free time on my hands until for a little.

Expect more entries.

Looks like i lied to y'all asses

2009-08-08T11:28:00.002-04:00

So...your boy still hasn't been blogging.

Blow me.

I finally started my new job this past week. Aug. 3, 2009. First time i have been at a job since December 8, 2008.

Yup, 8 months.

I'm working on a Naval Air Station and live around 800 some miles north of where i used to live.

New shit. Gonna be new experiences. .......prolly gonna be some homesickness (just a little bit, though) (ok, maybe a lil more than a lil bit)

Yeah, ssssoooooo.....yeah. I'm gonna go, get a haircut, hit the gym, then end up at a cookout I was invited to.

Peace out, bitches.

-the BULLY

Life Changing....

2009-04-06T07:07:00.003-04:00

....I just got a damn hand job.

That's right....a nice ol' Jack Handey for the Muthafuckin' BULLY.

Got a damn Jack Handey that lasted until WWWEEELLLLL after Steve burped up a sizeable amount of baby batter (Yeah, I just used Minista's vulgar ass term).

...Nigga a gat damn Jack Handey that lasted until Steve had lost a good deal of size and then got wiped up with a warm ass wash cloth.

I was recently involved with someone for damn near a fuckin' year and never got a cot damn Jack Handey (Yeah....if I never even got a Jack Handey I bet you can guess how much sloppy top I got) ......or even got wiped up. Shiiiiittt, I was the one that would get up and get what was needed to clean up whoever's gushy mess.

Yeah......Nothing like a real good Jack Handey to help put things into perspective. Fuck all that selfless ass giving and shit.

Fuuuuuccckkkkk.

Your boy is out to get Jack Handeys and lots o' sloppy top..... and give back to those that give.

And those that don't give....well, I'm still gonna try to get a Jack Handey and sloppy top.

-the Ever Lovin' BULLY

I'm back

2009-04-03T20:47:00.003-04:00

So, yeah, its me, your boy.....the Muthafuckin' BULLY.

Yeah, I am still alive.

Been dealing with a lil' shit. Your boy used to work in the Automotive industry....got laid off back in December. For a long time before then I had been fearing something like that would happen. Shit like that, combined with a lil' relationship induced stress really took the blogging shit outta me.

Holy shit.....I feel kinda nervous blogging again and shit. First time in over 3-4 months since the last time I did this. I don't really feel like I can blog like how I had been towards the end....and I really don't want to. I had gotten into the habit of intentionally writing for the laughs and shit.
That shit is wack.....hella wack. Not what I started this blog for, and not what I want it to be. This shit started as a great way to relax and release the shit that was causing an ungodly amount of turmoil in my head and it just so turned out that people found that shit to be High-larious.

Yeah, now that I thinkin' about shit...that's a big part of why I haven't been bloggin......cause I haven't been "feeling funny".

That's hella wack.

Fuck all that.

the BULLY is BACK

p.s.: BLOW ME

You know what really grinds my gears?????

2008-11-14T18:59:00.003-05:00

Bitch ass, punk ass, sissy ass, Yankee ass, metro ass rules of fuck ass fashion.

What the fuck!!??!?!!

Why can't a man just put on some decent clothes that match and don't stank and be good?

Naw......a man gotta make sure his jeans are of the right darkness and shit for the certain time of day and shit. Thats some ol' weak ass metrosexual punk ass shit.

What ever happened to men being men and letting women be women? Man be tough, woman be pretty?

And you know what makes me even more pissed?

That if I don't follow those punk ass sissy ass dressing rules then I look like a fuckin' tacky douche.

I hate looking like a douche.

Now I gotta make sure my darker jeans are dark enough to be worn at night and shit.

That shit is sooooo hella homosexual.

Maaaannnnn I wish I could just put on some fuckin man ass clothes, look like a fuckin man and be happy. What do I want to wear tonight? I wanna wear my fly ass "Power to the People" T-shirt with my favorite Levis, but are my levis dark enough? Even though the party's dress code says casual....are all the sissy ass dressing greeks and shit gonna be casual and shit? Am I gonna show up in a button up and dark jeans, be all ornery feeling, cuss out the chick I'm gonna be gettin all giggity giggity with and fight some old ass frat guys?

I don't know.....maybe I shouldn't drink.....or maybe I should just drink before I go....and hope I'm mellowed out before I get there.

Fuuuuucccckkkkk I pre-paid for this shit.

Fuck it.

I'm gonna rock out with my cock out.

-the Muthahfuckin' BULLY

Hello Muthahfuckahs

2008-10-08T19:17:00.002-04:00

E......BULL E and you best not shake up my gat damn malt liquor.

Sooooo, your boy is Greenville for the jizzob. I came home, ate a bit, went to sleep and awoke to the beginning of "Dream Girls". I saw the scene where J-Hud first starts hittin on Jaimie Foxx..... She was lookin all freaky and nasty...bitin her lip and shit.... (Naw, I aint never seen "Dream Girls before....Really, do you really expect BULL E to just watch that shit????)

Nigga....

I want some of that.

Did you see her fuckin' eyes....shiiiittttt. I used to know a chick that looked like her.....and had those ol' sexy ass eyes......and NIGGUH was she nasty. I'm tombout my first porno style nasty chick

like.....

this one time...

had me thinking

"Oh my G_D....did she just let it dribble out of her mouth and fall on her titty.... all while lookin me in the eye?"

FUCK..... I miss her ol' Virgin Island ass.

Damn, I love me some Caribean ass women.

...lemme go facebook her terribly involved ass.

Anyway, I just heard them say something that has been buggin' me lately. They just said how that dude Curtis or The Dreams were the most successful Negro R&B something or other....

I've been reading Eldridge Cleaver's "Soul On Ice" (Pretty good shit, guys) and he at one point he talks about how everything that black folks do, or do well is always categorized as being black, or negro, or Afro American. Now, he came from a much different era...back when blacks were first breaking in to a lot of things...like pro-sports and major acting roles and stuff. They were called Negro Actors and Negro Ballplayer and shit. It was done and said to be like a back handed compliment type thing. Like, "Yeah he's a ball player, which is pretty surprising that he can perform on this level with him being a negro and all...." I......I....idk.

This movie is sad and shit....and what makes it even worse that I know this is kinda like Diana Ross and those girls....and I know what happened to Flo.

Fuck....Tracy Ellis Ross' tits are soooooo far apart.

This movie really makes me hate Disco. Maaaannnnn, they didn't have to do Effie so dirty.

-BULL E
I mean....that shit s

I'm not sure I'm ready

2008-09-18T18:46:00.003-04:00

Yeah, soooooo I'm gonna apologize now to any of my readers that potentially may be insulted by this.

Jaila, Shay Shay Le Boom (Maybe I should say boom boom cause both of her boobs are big, not just one. Ha ha....lopsided boobies are funny. Not all the time...I mean most of the time I can't even notice. But I remember when those strap on one side shirts were in style. They already make your boobs look funny, but then you would see chicks with like a B and a D and that shit would be all types of fucked up....and why do lopsided titty havin ass chicks wear tube tops?.....) Kaliente, Amazon and whomever else that reads this and it strikes close to home.

Yeah, soooo back to the regularly scheduled blizzog.

Yeah.....so my homie, Lil Nigga, called me up last night to see if I was watchin the UFC shit (Season Premier of the Ultimate Fighter). We got to shootin the shit and I hear a lil kid in the background.

BULLY: Whose kid is that in the background?
Lil Nigga: That's my girl's.....She moved in with me.
BULLY: .......DAMN nigga......You's a better nigga than me.

So, yeah, that shit kinda threw me..... I really got to thinking about it. I'm not against kicking it with/dating a chick with a kid......but being fully committed and getting that whole insta-family shit just does not sound like the business to me.

I'm sorry.

Shiiittt, and its not that I don't want kids...its the exact fuckin' opposite. I really do want kids, but I want my own. I would love to have a couple of cute little mini-BULLies running aound. The idea of being a father to some other dude's seed is soooo un-attractive to me. Raising up kids is a big deal. Its the most intesive, heavily invested thing you will EVER do. The thought of investing my self, my life, my money, my time and my emotions in someone else's genetic continuation when I don't have my own legacy. I ain't got my own BULLY Jr. I wanna be out one day at a ball field watching Lil BULLY runnin around fuckin up Mark Buster Jr. I don't see me getting the same fulfillment outta cheering for Mark Buster's kid against Johnny Blow.

Now, there are a few exeptions......well, I can only think of one big exception. If the kids are fathered by family...blood or not. For real, I don't want my boys havin kids and not considering me for Godfather and shit. If one of my boys had kids and for whatever reason they needed me to take care of theirs ..... I'd be all over parenting and loving them nigglets like stank on shit.

The love aspect.... that's what my more sensitive, Sweet Nigga side reminds me about. I know that once you get to know nigglets and get involved with them the whole "Love 'em like they were yours" type shit is supposed to kick in. Why do I half way have faith in that happening? What do I use to argue the point to myself?

Again, I apologize.

I figure that if I can love a puppy like he was my own, then I guess I can love a kid like my own....... i guess. (Shiiiittttt, a nigga loves his lil sister's min-pin.)

Really, though, whether I would rather get with a chick that has a dog instead of a kid doesn't really matter. What does is that I would halfway give it a chance.......I guess.

Here is my question. How do women view dude's accepting them and their kids? Do y'all even look at the whole picture? Do you really take the whole dynamic into consideration?

Or are y'all stuck on the one single thought of "I have a kid to raise and he better just deal with it."

Sometimes I almost forget.....

2008-09-16T17:56:00.002-04:00

Yeah, some times I almost forget that I am the Muthafuckin' BULLY. Then slightly bullyish stuff happens, I remember and then I do slightly more bullyish stuff for the fun of it.

Ok, completely unrelated and random: One of those student loan commercials just came on. Mufuggas tomboutsum trying to let everyone know they are seperate from the gubment and fannie mae and shit. Thats cool. What's not cool is that they had a bitch on there tombout some "I'm making payments while I'm in school so my debt won't be so high when I get out"

BITCH!!!

How the fuck you gonna have money to make payments on the loan you have taken? If you can make the payment then you don't need the damn loan.

Anyway......

Soooo, I'm guessing what has me feeling Bullyish right abouts now...... I'll tell you in any old order:

I got kinda big ballsy and assertive over some shit at work with folks that are at my manager's level and above. (I don't run off at the mouth while not knowing what the fuck I am tombout.....sooooooo me gettin all ballsy means I am really startin' to be knowledgeable and a Strong Player in my position. Thats that good shit)
I had some hot sexxxy ass sex this weekend
Ol' girl talked some ol' Head blowin up ass shit to me after we had some hot sexxxy ass sex. (Tomboutsum "We're gonna need to get some length taken off your penis......." (This is because her cervix be hurtin' the hell outta her ass and she cramps and shit after sex) Had me all like "Baby, I can try to not go in all the way if you think that will help" Shiiiiiiittttt, I know Steve is average sized, but it is still nice and sweet to hear a chick talk about yo shit like you can knock down the Great Wall of China in this bitch. But don't get it twisted and sleep on Steve cause he is average sized. That nigga is MAGICAL!!)
I'm thinking about renaming Steve and calling him The Cervixanator.
I accidentally shot a text to Goldie (Goldie is the chick I fucked around, lost my mind for a minute and kissed all in the mouth while I was in South Beach for Memorial Day Weekend) last night (Her and Slim Chick have the same name) Texted Big Chris about it and he asked me if I was gonna try to pursue her. I told him hell naw, but since I'm gonna be where she lives, Seattle, in Feb that I would hollar at her then....ty to get in what I can get in......giggity. Shiiiiittttt, she was fine.
Accidentally textin Goldie has made me want to shoot a text to Hips. Hips was the married one with the wide ass hips that I was feeling pretty hard. (Whatever.......a nigga is sooooo allowed to get weekend crushes on trips like that)

Shiiiiittttt, I'm gettin caught up on Facebook Messages and shit and I know I need o get out to the track.

Fuck this....I'm out.

-the Muthafuggin BULLY

I'm back for now.

2008-09-12T11:26:00.001-04:00

Soooooo, yeah, your boy has been extra ghost for a lil over a month.

BLOW ME!!

I been doing shit, not doing shit, waiting to hear back on shit, not hearing back from shit, putting up with shit, getting rid of shit, been a lil shitty, been treated a lil shitty and all that there like that there. In the end….I’m still me and I still say “Fuck all that shit!”

So…I guess I’ll begin updating y’all with the female situation.

Me and the Amazon are still kickin it hard as hell……….HHHAAAAAAaaaaaa!!! PSYCH, niggas…PSYCH YO’ MIND, MAKE YO’ BOOTY SHINE!!

What had happened was she had some issues with her apartment. Water leaked into her joint from the apt above and shit got to smelling all musty and moldy and shit. Not to healthy/safe….especially since she has a 5 month old. She decided to get outta there and crash with a friend for a bit (She was already supposed to be moving into another apt in a 1.5 weeks anyway). Here is how that went down.

Ring Ring
BULLY: Hello
Amazon: Hey….blah blah, My friends roommate just came home with a dog and I think my baby is allergic to dogs…
BULLY: What the fuck???? So Your girl just showed up and saw her room mate with a dog in the joint?
Amazon: Yeah…blah blah blah
BULLY (I thought the shit sounded kinda fucked up, but she was upset and had the baby and all that. I didn’t want to make things worse/upset her anymore with my interrogating soooo..): That’s fucked up. Just come up here. Come stay with me.

Now, I am 27.5 years old. Never had a room mate. Only people I have ever shared a house with for more than five days was Moms and my sis. This shit wasn’t gonna be easy , but I wanted to help her out…..yeah, so I’m bitch like that.

Sooooo, she’s staying with me. Now, BULLY as I am, I still believe in respecting people’s homes and all that and showing tremendous amounts of gratitude when they let you stay there…and especially when they are helping you out. Like, if I come to stay at your place for 3 or more days I’m gonna hit the grocery store for you. Replace the bottle of juice that I killed. Maybe cook you some dinner and shit. When I leave I pretty much like shit to be about where it was before I came, if not better. Amazon….. not so much.

Don’t get me wrong, she did do some things, and I did appreciate it very much. She made my bed everyday, did my laundry and folded it up, she wiped down my kitchen counter top once or twice and loaded my dishwasher once or so. She cooked once and bought me dinner twice. That shit was real nice.

But, looking at the whole picture it wasn’t even. 10-11 days and I was provided for 3 meals (Guess who provided US with meals the rest of the time. And the one time that she cooked she packed the leftovers for her lunch the next day. Didn’t even offer it to a nig). She did my laundry, but she ran my washer and dryer a ton. While she was there my shit didn’t go 2 days with out running. And yes, the vast VAST majority of the shit getting washed and dried was hers and her baby’s. She was even using the hot water and shit.

Eventually I had to start asking her to get shit. I asked her to bring home some paper towels and a case of bottled water. The next day she wanted food from this restaurant that she was fiending for and said she was gonna get that for dinner. I said “cool”. She gets the dinner, she tells me she wants some cookies so I go and get some cookie dough (Yeah, another time where She did something, but got something in return also. It didn’t really work for me like that). We eat, and we are full and happy then she puts on the sweet voice and goes “I forgot to get the bottled water and paper towels today.” (Call me stuck on thinking people are trying to run game, but the way that came across to me was that she thought that since she bought dinner that I wouldn’t worry about having her get the paper towels and stuff)

BULLY: That’s ok……you can get them tomorrow.

Anyway, so that’s how shit was going (I’m not even gonna say nothing about my toaster over that she tried to cook a pop tart in and ended up burning shit the fuck up. Had my joint smelling smokey as hell…and this was after I had been gone to the gym for like an hour and the glass door and window had been open. Toaster oven never got cleaned and she only left it in there for a minute…..Yeah, in a minute that bitch smoked enough to permeate my apt and leave the paint on the top of my toaster oven all fucked up as if there was hot fiyah and flames and shit …yeah, really)

So after her being there for a week and a half I go to help her move into her new apt. It was rainy as hell (Yeah, tropical storm Faye was in that bitch) and I’m helping her pack up the rest of her shit and move. I’m up in her kitchen helping her pack up her shit and why is her motherfuckin Fridge and pantry CHOCKED FULL OF SHIT?
CHOCKED FUCKIN’ FULL.

BULLY: Why didn’t you bring some of this food up to my place
Amazon: It would have been out of my way to come here then go up to your place.

Y’all I went way outta my fucking way to do shit and help this female out. I fuckin let her live with me for a week and a half. Moved her big shit (sofa, love seat and dining room set) into my mom’s garage while she waited on her new place to open up. Y’all, I even burned a half day’s vacation to go down and help her get her shit together so she could get out of the moldy musty ass apartment. A halfday. I’m a fuckin’ engineer. I get payed pretty fuckin well. A half a fuckin day is waaaayyyyy more than fuckin $60. But this chick couldn’t take an extra 40 minutes outta her day to bring some food to feed her and the guy nice enough to let her and her 5 month old stay with him so that they didn’t have to stay in a moldy musty ass apartment.

So, yeah, I told her how I felt like I went outta my way to do stuff for her and felt like I wasn’t getting it back. She told me that I wasn’t being fair because she has a kid and has to work a second job and she is tired at the end of the day.

Yeah, she pretty much told me that since she has to do more I have to settle for less.

YYYYyyyeeeeaaahhhhh, ok. Well. Whatever. I did someone some good deeds and shit. Ok. I finished helping her move (put in a total of about 7-8 hours) then went and got her food from Burger King when I was done. And as far as relationship shit went I was done. I still wanted to be friends and kick it with her some, but there wasn’t anyway I could see me being with someone that has such different views on something like that. I’m a very generous, appreciative type person, but I like to get it back. I’ll understand if there is shit that you can’t do, but I’m not down with shit when you just won’t do cause it isn’t easy for you.

Anyway….the next weekend I’m out at a cookout that she invited me to. It was at her friend’s place. The same friend that had the room mate that just up and came home with a dog. Now by now, as told by the Amazon, the room mate had gotten rid of the dog because she realized that she would not have the time for it…….Yeeeaahhh.

So, I’m there, playing some spades and I ask “So, what did room mate do with the dog?”

Amazon’s friend was like ”…..Dog? What dog? My room mate didn’t ever have a dog. Where did you get that from?”

Yeah…..Amazon had done told me a story and played your boy like a poo-butt.

I blew her out in front of her friends…yeah, cause I’m tacky like that. I later texted with her a bunch to give her a chance to make some since outta shit, but she never came up with a decent story.

She went with :”Oh, well, I really just misunderstood the roommate. She told me she was thinking about getting a dog and then ended up not getting it.”
And shit like : “I did question friend when she said the room mate never had a dog….you just didn’t hear me”

Yeah, she got me. So, now I don’t really see me being friends with her anymore. Moms BULLY damn sure don’t like the chick anymore. Funny thing is….her furniture is still in Mom’s garage.

-the Muthafuckin' BULLY

P.s.:My little chick fetish has kinda kicked back in........Slim Chick #1 is doing quite well nowadays.

Yeeeaaahhhh

2008-08-12T18:06:00.002-04:00

Yeah, so I figured if I am gonna move then I might as well change everythang.

More to come later!!

Some Scary Ass Shit

2008-08-08T21:07:00.002-04:00

.....Soooooo, yeah, I'm sittin here on a Friday night. Not doin' shit. I was kinda invited.....damn near begged to go over to this other little town and kick it. I was gonna go, but now I'm not so sure. After some innanet porn and by myself time I just kinda feel like chillaxin. I have also cracked a couple beers, so I really might be chillin. Idk. The drank may drive me to do something else.

But....shiiiitttt, a nigga wants to hit the gym in the morning. I got a good amount of shit to do tomorrow in Tally-heezay tomorrow. I skipped the gym today so I gotta get in there tomorrow for that 5th day of working out this week. And I am mad tired. Gotta catch up on some sleep. Need sleep to get a good work out.

A nigga is feeling/being mad cheap right now. Part of me getting my shit right is me to stop blowing so much loot on bullshit and saving my money.

Damn, they just showed the Atheletes from Mali...and I'll be damned if I didn't just see the prettiest darkest...Dark Dark shiny Djimon in Blood Diamond Dark ass pretty ass heffa.

Nigga, I want to go to China and snatch her ass and introduce her to indoor plumbing and have her looooovvveee me for it.

Back to a nigga being cheap. I blow a lot of money on the eating out and partying and all that shit. I still live in an apartment. I'm starting to not like that. I'm getting on the save my money kick. If I'm gonna blow it on something it might as well be on some big shit so I have something to show for it.

MMmm, Eritrea is on. They pretty.

Oh my G-D. JAMAICA

WTF

What the Fuck.....

Don't make no damn sense how pretty them damn Jamaicans are. And you know all of the women are sprinters coming from Jamaica.

Sprinters, Nigga......Really, dog......Fine ass dark pretty ass sprinters....from Jamaica? Tomboutsum "Lawdamercy...buck buck buck .....booyakah...bloodclot" GAATTDAMN I want some.

If I went over to the Olympics...Nigga I would straight get arrested. And try to play it off like I didn't know you weren't allowed to beat off during the track and field events while you were still in Stadium and shit. Bunch of tiny ass chinese cops run on me and I'm sittin up with Steve in hand like "What's the problem Officers?"

But, yeah, I'm trying to save a third of my bring home pay. That's right. mothahfuckah, your boy is tryin to bank 33% of bring home and thats AFTER 401k and all that. Yeah, I'm workin hard towards that.

Why did some muthafuggin country walk out in the parade in a red Tee and jean shorts. They shit looked hella bap.

But yeah, if you haven't already figured it out I'm watching the Olympic opening Ceremonies. And that shit has scared the HAYULL outta me. Them little motherfuckahs had 15,000 performers. Mothahfuckin 15,000 performers. If a motherfuckah can put out that many cats to just dance and perform and sang and wave flags and all that shit...then you know they can put some serious numbers out to whoop up on some ass. America better stay owing china some money. Hold that shit over their heads like a sumbitch.

You woop our ass, you aint gettin SHIT back. Fuck you China...you MONSTER!!

Lemme call ol' girl and cancel on her and go and get more beer.

Ummm, Bahamians.....

I'm dancing now bitches.

How to get the BULLY to dance:

Combine the following
BEER (Or any type of alcohol)
Toight ass music (Tonight's choice: 66 RAW....thats on XM Radio for all you unknownsts......its the only place you can hear some real ass unedited, deep off the Album or mix tape type shit)

other things to that can make the BULLY dance
Bad Ass Bitches

YYYYYEEEEAAAHHHH

So the United States Rolled through the Olympic Parade like a big ol' gang of gangsters Rockin Kangol's and shit.

I been workin' out yall.....

shit is startin to get a little scary.

the Amazon has been tellin a nigga that his arms are gettin bigger. I'm not gaining weight...matter of fact it is droppin a little. After the work out on this last monday your boy was 251.5, and thats down from bout 262. and the arms and chest are poppin out. I'm getting toighter and harder.

I'm thinkin about tryin to bust shit down to about 235-230...but if I get below 240 I'm good.

I'm a fuckin BEAST

I'm gonna be in Atl come the end of September for the Atl Classic. Thats FAMU and Tennessee Tech or State or some shit like that. I better see both Chocl8t and Jaila While I am up there. Maybe we can all go get out bang bang on. (Thats shootin at the gun range for all you lames.)

One of my readers might be getting her first Lezzie experience tonight. I wish her good luck.

I told her lickin a Clit is really not bad at all....I wouldn't suggest stickin her tongue in that thing just yet, but lickin the clit and round the lips aint that bad.

Shhiiiiiitttt, I'm gonna go drink some more beer.

Later bitches.

-the PICKLE

Gettin on my shit

2008-07-28T15:06:00.001-04:00

Yyyyeeaaahhhh, so I got my boy E-dot bout to start step 1 of his 12 step plan to Ferrari Money, I got another boy that Just broke 6 figures, and is bout to start workin on his MBA, My boy Jffrsmps been got his Masters in EE. Big Chris is working on that second Engineering Degree and that Travel Site. Its time for the Muthafuckin BULLY to get on his grind and start makin some moves.

I’m not all about sittin round and watchin the crowd pass me by…..fuck all that there like that there. I’ve been kinda wanting to do something to improve myself. Ok, well, I have been wanting to up my game for reals for a while, but I couldn’t figure out exactly what it would or could be. My thing is I gotta be happy. I didn’t want to do something that would help me advance towards something that ultimately would not be enjoyable. That has been a big part of is and then I’ve just not felt a strong enough desire to get up and out and start making things happen. Well that shit has started changing.

Yep.

A couple months ago I got that burning desire deep down in my soul to start back training seriously and consistently to get my body back in good shape. That desire is still here. I’m still all about my workout and healthier eating. Its great.

My new desire is to improve my financial situation. I’ve been looking for things/opportunities to get paid more and all that, but I have finally come to the point where I am fed up with waiting on people to give me more and or the opportunity to get more. I’m gonna get out there and try my damndest to MAKE shit happen for me.

I’m gonna get out there and start grinding. I’m gonna use all of the connections that I have** (and or create) and try to create something great. Taking my destiny into MY hands.

I’m gonna BULLY my way to that next level.

-the Muthafuckin' BULLY

**: Yes, that is all you rich, connected and or influencial friends. Robbio (U and your ‘In Home Theater” buddy), Big Chris’ Brother, E-dot’s Bruh n law, Them Rich ass Slauses, My local Legislators, Steve, Maybe QQ’s Skittles, et cetera, et cetera.

......Really, dog.....really?

2008-07-17T08:17:00.009-04:00

Al Reynolds.....

I really don't feel like I need to say anymore cause just that dude's name makes me lmmao.

Seriously though, I aint mad at what he did. In a way I kinda applaud him and that dude that married Tony McMillan. For real. That was some good payback ....Mike Tyson was my hero.....Robyn Givens better hope she don't eeeevvvveeerr come cross me in the Streets.

Fa Real. If women can be golddiggers so can femenine ass men.

Here is what I don't like. Matter of fact this is what I hate..... I hate it when people try to insult my inteligence. Yeah, I may be a big silly lookin Negro that they call the BULLY, but I ain't no dummy, Al. Whicho Gay Ass. Tomboutsum "I'm not gay".....Niggro PLEEAAASSE.

Look at this shit.

Look at this ol' lispy as lispy fool. Tilting his head and using his lips too damn much.

Look at that fools lower lip. Its got a dip in it.....that dip is formed by sucking on a lot of jibbies.

Now, I could go on and on about why I think this dude is gay, and many of you may try to discredit me beause I'm a southern male and we aint about all that metrosexual, manscaping fuggshyt, and gay ass Ed Hardy GAY ASS DRAWS like these.

Really....look how not right that shit might look on a real ass not-gay negro like myself.

Anyway................... I decided to get some expert oppinions.

Thats right..... Gay people.

I enlisted the help of homersexuals.

Check theses comments from the nice people over at Towleroad.com

-Gal Reynolds is NOT gay. He's on the down low. That's entirely different from gay. Really ya'll it isssss.

-Okay, let's review:
Afalfa cum Pee Wee Herman Helmet Cut
Extreme Eyebrow Wax Job
Mustache Trim
Chronic Gayface and Lip Pursing Thoughout Interview
Strategic Head Back Toss
Just for Men Hair Color (Dark Brown)
Denial of Homosexuality

Discuss.

-Just because he attended a Fire Island Pines party dressed as Bam-Bam from The Flintstones does NOT make Al Reynolds gay!

-Al Reynolds almost melted my gay-dar the first time that I saw him. Al, you may not consider yourself gay. There is a term that some folk would use instead. Ever heard the term "MSM"? Men that sleep with men, but may have a woman or two on the side

-All right, fine fine FINE. You're not gay already. You go to gay bars, you dress like a one-man circuit party and you have the worst taste in women since Ferdinand Marcos--but you're not gay. Hooray for you.

Well, there you have it...straight from the gay ass horses mouth.

-the Muthafuggin BULLY

p.s.: NIGGER (you know I gotta say it atleast once in a post........HOLLLAAAA!!!)

DE-LURKIFY YOURSELF!!

2008-07-10T16:15:00.001-04:00

C'mon....you can do it!!

You need to check your man and his bitch ass ways, not the BULLY and his bullish ways

2008-07-05T15:33:00.004-04:00

Hey Tiff!!

I especially want your opinion on this here shit.

So...... I got this good.... or maybe used to be good female friend from back in college. We have gone through periods of being real tight and then periods of not being too tight. I had a thing for chick for a WHILE. There, I said it.....I doubt it was all that big of a secret anyfuckingway. So me and chick kinda had a funny relationship. Ok, well, my relationships with female friends are usually always kinda funny. Most of my female friends were either interested in me, or me in them....or atleast we wanted to fuck one another. (Shiiiiittt, I can't help that I'm a sexy motherfuckah).

so like I said, we have a kinda funny relationship. And pair that with me being the innapropriate guy that I am...I always make little jokes and comments, it is laughed at and all that. She knows my heart.

So one day, after not talking for atleast 3-4 months she calls me and tells me she has lost like 26lbs. I'm all like "cool" and "congrats" and shit, then I tell her she should shoot me some pics in a matching bra and boyshort set. She laughs, calls me silly, then gets off the phone to get on her train.

cool.

So that evening or next day or some shit I see her new pics posted on Myspace. Chick was lookin pretty damn good. So the next morning I shoot her a text like "I just saw your new pics on myspace....Yeah, you def need to shoot me a pic of you in your matching bra and boyshort set"

Whatever.

Sooooo, I get a call from ol' girl that evening and she is kinda hot with your boy. What happened was she accidentally left her phone at the crib that day. When she got home her "soulmate" was not speaking and shit and acting all cunty. She took dude to work or something then checked her messages and saw that I had sent a message and that shit was not marked new.

So she starts going off on me because what I did was inapropriate and how she has serious b-friend and all this jibber jabber. And how now her boyfriend was all mad at her over this shit and not speaking to her and all that. That shit pissed your boy off, but since we are "good friends" I didn't go off on her ass. She is lucky as Hale for that. She should pray and thank G-d for that. All I said was "O-k" she finished her bitchin, said by and I hung up.

But real talk. Thats some ol' fuckshit on her and his fault. He is displaying tremendous amounts of bitchassness and she is displaying a tremendous amount of bitchassness love and bitchass cuntiness empowerment.

Bitch ass gonna get mad at HER, for some shit I sent. And then she is gonna get mad atME for HIS bitchass checking into a private communication between me and her.

Whatever....that shit happened a while ago and I aint never say nothin bout it to anyone, but I thought about it while I was in the gym and got kinda pissed so I figured I blog about it.

Am I wrong, though? Like that shit is almost as bad as something like me Calling Tiff "Titty Tiffany" on here and her boyfriend gettin all hot at her about it. It doesn't mean anything and its nothing I haven't been doing for years. Didn't do it in his face all disrespectful, just bullshit between friends.

Talk to your boy....

-the BULLY

Punch Drunk

2008-07-03T13:24:00.003-04:00

I was Tagged by Kali

This is how this "Meme" test is about to go down.

1. Put your Music Player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT!

After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 3 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the MEME themselves

Aight, here it go....

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
-Hit you from the back , Rick Ross Your boy, the muthafuggin BULLY is likin how this here thing is startin' off ......Cock cock cock and lean..lemme hitchu from the baack hitchu from the baaack hitchu from the baaaaaaaack. That shit is my jam.

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
-Be Happy, Mary J. Blige yEah...real talk, thats what I want outta life

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
-Like a star, Corinne Bailey Rae Ok-k-kaaayyyy

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
-Hip Hop is..... , The Show, original Soundtrack, but that shit was just a skit, the next one that played was
-The Problem, lil' Wayne (from the Drought 3)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
-A.D. 2000, Erykah Badu

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
-Droppin Bombz, SO. Sentrelle (From The Show soundtack again)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
-Leaving You, J-Hud and Neyo

What do you think of your parents
-....first track is some untitled shit from a local group, Tyger Hill. My Homeboy from highschool is in the crew.....the Chorus starts like "What the fuck...Yeeah, What the Fuck....Yeeeah, What the Fuck....get off my dick..Yeah......"
-the next real song was Da 80's, Styles P.

What do you think about very often?
-Send Me an E-mail, DJ Spinz and T-pain

What is 2+2
-Love Rain, Jilly from Philly

What do you think of your best Friend(s)? I had to make this one plural cause I have a bunch of best friends.
-Freek-A-Leek, Petey Pablo
-Daughters, John Mayer
-War with G-D, Ludacris
-Another Again, John Legend
-Say Goodbye, Chris Brown (lol, I got to best friends named Chris)
-And then What, Young Jeezy and Mannie Fre-ur-ur-ur-esh

What do you think about the person you like?
-Chrome Plated Woman, UGK....(the new chick I'm befriending ...platonicly??? is def one of theones that cats gawk at in the gym.....5-10 and a size 8...yeah, she is niiiice long legs, nice ol' round izzass)

What is your life story?
-White girl remix featuring Ricky Ross hmmm......I keep that white girl...like to call her Tammy....born in Columbia, she moved to Miami......Hillary Clinton....she my best friend...even cosigned for that new white Benz......lol

What do you want to be when you grow up?
Soon The New Day, Talib Kweli

What will you dance to at your wedding?
-Overjoyed, Stevie Wonder (Oooo-Kkkaaaaaayyy)

What will they play at your Funeral?
-Lip Gloss, Lil Momma............pppfffttt

What is your Hobby/interest?
-Rappa Ternt Sanga, T-pain (a nigga has been making some ol rhymy ass blog entries....)

What is your biggest Secret?
-The world is yours, Silkk the Shocker (indeed)

What do you think of your friends?
-Drunk Game (Sweet Sugar Pie) , Ol' Dirty Bastard (hhmmmm....)

What should you post this as?
-Punch Drunk [instrumental], Sade

I guess I will tag my dear sweet, damn near virginal friend, slaus, and GLO.......fuck it, I'm gonna add a 4th E-dot and a 5th Big Chris of Team Diesel

Ornery as ever

2008-07-03T08:27:00.002-04:00

Hey folks....yeah, its me, Bull E. I'm still alive.

I still like to beast it out in the gym.

I still like to shoot guns.

Gas prices are still pissing me off.

I still think I am the shit. (all you other motherfuckers need to get out the toilet)

Me and the Amazon are still kickin it.

Here is the kicker...well, not completely new, but a new intensity. I DO NOT WANT A COMMITTED REALTIONSHIP!!! Like I really really do not want a committed relationship. I want friends. I do not want to spend a whole bunch of time with anydamnone. And what makes it feel so crazy to me is the amount of disdain I have for relationships right now. Like the simple thought of one makes me a little sick and angry and repulsed. I just don't want to be considered an us or a we or none of that shit. What I do want to make a commitment to....well, what I am making a commitment to is the muthahfuggin gym and my muthafuggin body.

That is all I want to do. I ran this morning for the first time in forever and I am going to try to make it a damn near daily thing, along with my beasting it out in the gym sessions in the evenings (Yeah, the evening sessions will continue to include treadmill work). I have finally gotten fed up with not being happy with how I look. I'm tired of sittin up wishing I had the body that I used to have. Tired of wishing I was fine so I could get away with throwing on a snug ass t-shirt, going out and still be able to pull mad females.....tired of feeling like I gotta try to dress fly to look really good. I'm tired of not getting felt the fuck up by damn near every woman that I come in contact with. (You know what the hell I'm tombout...chicks be real quik to break the touch barrier with a big buff ass nigga) I just wanna throw on some jeans and a young polo and look right. I'm tired of being like "I sure do wish I could get out just run and shit." I am not trying to have another Flag football season where I can't even run a whole damn game.

I just want to train and get my body right. I want to have a body like a nigga that you might see on T.V. or some shit. I don't want to be the chubby boy anymore. I want to get back to the point where I feel more than confident enough to pull off my shirt at anytime. Hell, the truck aint got no ac...I wanna be able to ride in that bitch shirtless and not worry about when I open the door everyone seeing my fukin side belly. I hate the way my belly hangs when I lean over to brush my teeth. I hate the way that my belly kinda lays on the bed along with me when I lay on my side. I hate the way my side belly jiggles a little when I walk and shit. I hate the way my fuckin thighs rub when I run.

This shit has become my number one, by far, burning desire in life and I am only getting more and more consumed by it as time goes by.

-the Muthafuckin' BULLY

Yooo, BULLY, where you been?

2008-06-19T12:48:00.002-04:00

Bitch....I been to Shaolin.

Ha ha, not really. Still in South Ga. Chillin' like a villian...with no need for penecillin.....that means Steve aint illin..... cause he only messes with clean women that are willin....it aint Slim Chick #2 thats top billin..... Its the Amazon thats been keepin me grinnin'.....In the lady and booby race she is hands down winnin'....it aint happened yet, but it won't be long before we start sinnin' (sexin')....we just started this game , but it feels like the 6th innin'....

Yeeeeaaahhhhh, y'all negros and negresses should not never give me positive reinforcement on shit.

But, yeah, I'm pretty much through with Slim Chick #2. Last time I talked to her was Monday evening, before gym. I haven't called her, she hasn't called me, but some did call me during my lunch break and left a message on the desk phonio. Me and the Amazon have really kinda hit it off. We e-mail and text each other all day and talk on the phone for hours at night time. I talked to Slim Chick a decent bit, but it felt like it was something I had to do. With Amazon I be all wanting to talk to her. And wanting to e-mail it up with her.

It is actually kinda scary to me. There was no ramp up or nothing...just like BOOM and we are on each other's minds like all the time.

There is a good size potion of me that doesn't trust whereever this is going....cause it is just too damn good, too damn soon.

And then there is the fact that she is a Soror of my Sis....and I have been envolved with another one of the sorrors (G-friend before last) and gone out with one or two others and banged a friend/roommate of other sorrors and my sister has been done bitched at me, like..leave my sorority alone....like I feel like I done gone through all these sorrors.

I'm keepin shit on the low. I normally always tell my sis about females that I'm kickin with, but this one is onna have to be on the hush hush. Ain't no point in getting everyone all riled up and then we end up kickin it for like a month and we are done with each other.

Anyway, I swear I'm gonna write a post with some sort of substance to it soon. I wanna do something worthy of being put up on O hell nawl.

-The BULLY

Ode to 34 DDD

2008-06-13T08:03:00.005-04:00

This post is inspired by a fellow blogger. She is a very cute young lady....and yes....the boobages are very berry bountiful.

This goes out to you. (She said she would be too embarassed if I called her out like this so I won't say her name or link her or nothing)

I think I'm gonna take a stab at poem writing again

Ode to 34 DDD
by the BULLY

34 triple D's
They bring a big nigga like me to his knees
I hope she always continues to wear good bras
so them big ass titties don't end up at her feet
Everytime I look at her Steve jumps for joy and says Hurrah
cause from her chest them thangs stick out very far

Those 34 triple D's I would wear them as hat
Mostly the left one, the right would be jealous,
but I don't care about that
Seeing her from the back
her booty is enough to knock you of track
then you see her from the front.....
And DAAYUUMM, thats a hell of a Rack

She goes to the gym regularly
does legs and arms and crunches to keep that flat belly
But what I dream about
is seeing her running on that treadmilly.
aint a sports bra in this whole wide world
that could keep them thangs under control

I have asked and asked for a picture
I just really hope she doesn't have tiny ass nipples
I dedicate all of these lirics to you and your mammaries
I just hope that they do not make you leave my blog angrily
Now go ahead and stop being stingy
and send your boy a pic of atleast that right titty

Fin

Woooooo.....thats it right there.

Oh, yeah, I'm tombout GLO. Her titties are fuckin great. She posts pics every now and then then takes 'em down, so you will just have to lurk the shit outta her page to catch a glimpse of her. Her blog is pretty good and entertaining. She is a young Rock Head lady....doing and going through the stuff that most Rock Head girls go through, all while dealing with some things that most of us could not handle (I mean outside of the back pain that she must be dealing with due to those wonderful breasts). She is a cool chick. Go check her out and tell her I sent you.

-the Muthafuckin BULLY

did y'all really think I wasn't gonna say who's boobages I was talkin bout? Do you really think that the BULLY won't embarass someone? ........get the fuck outta heeeeeeerrrreee.

I'm tired of hearing Eb's mouth....and her Jazzy ass better add me on Facebook

2008-06-11T08:30:00.009-04:00

More pics and or commentary to come in a few days. Keep checkin back.

So here are some pics from the Sobe Weekend. Mostly just of me cause I'm fly and it is my blizzog. Don't expect to be seeing no pics that could be used by a court of law against the BULLY or nothing like that.

The whole crew. The BULLY in back, Big Chris on the right, E-dot on the left, Solar on the upper right, and Billiam in front.

This Broad looks hella crazy.

Yeah, thats my homie, the Archbishop Pimp Don Magic Juan.

Just felt like putting this pic in here.

That is Billiam on the beach.....that nigga has 1976 era chest hair.....nigga look like Al Green by the chest.

This is my "I am so damn fly...you are lucky that I am dancing with you" face.

The BULLY and Billiam in Prive'.....yeah, this club in South Beach has plants and trees and bushes and shit growing in it. (It is an open air joint...like the middle of the joint has no roof. Its mad Flyyy.)

Thats the BULLY in the Back....after I done realized that I lost my phone. Thats Billiam on the Left and E-dot's ol' izod wearing ass. (I bet he won't let you see the inside of the shirt, though. We keeps it Gulley.)

This is my Pantented "Oh, you don't wanna dance with me.......Well I'm gonna dance with YOU" dance pose.

Yep.....see, I did it here too. It is pure gold. Don't let me catch namnotta nobody using it without proper compensation and expressed permissions.

********************************EDIT*******************************************

This last one is for GLO......she asked and now she recieves......but only the least incriminating pic that I have

.....But umm, I just showed you hers....how bout you show me yoooouuuurrrsssss.........Big ass breast on a little ol girl....some one should arrest you for that.....yeah, arrest you and let me be the nasty jailer....that you are soooo hot for cause you's a nasty broad.....yeah, real nasty.

-The BULLY

Day 3 in Sobe (Saturday)

2008-06-06T14:23:00.001-04:00

*******Edit****** Check the for the Pics below!!!

This post is long as HHHEEELLLLL!!

Well, it was actually day 2, but it was the 3rd day of vacay. I got up late…we planned on hitting the beach after E-dot got lunch with his homeboy, a cool ass white dude that carried his shit in a Louie Bag, got lunch and Big Chris. I layed around trying to convince myself that I was gonna get in a little more sleep…..shit didn’t happen. Neither did the Beach…it started raining and did so off and on for most of the day. (It was those cool ass Florida rains where it will shit down rain for like 15-30 minutes and then the sun will come back out and it is nice again.) Anyway, I get showered, get fresh lookin and head out to where Big Chris and E-dot and Cool Ass White dude were. I left the Brown Guy and Billiam in the room sleeping and showering and shit.

So I get down to our favorite place in Sobe to eat, drink, and kick it during the day. Yep, News Café. I start drinkin and order food. By this time, E-dot, Cool Ass and Big Chris have been saucing it up for a few hours.

So we are sittin there drankin, I’m eating too, and watching all these bitches with bad ass bodies walk by in very little clothes….we also saw some bad body bitches too, but the good far outweighed the bad. One of E-dot’s boy’s from L.A. showed up with one his homies. They were pretty cool guys, but a little niggerish….walkin round that bitch with some sort of alcoholic concoction in a gatorade bottle tombout some “Yeah, try this…this is that new shit”. They join in with the shooting of the shit and the drinking. Then THEY showed up.

Another friend of E-dot showed up. She used to work with him or someshit. She was there with a bunch of her homegirls (5-6 of em in all). Soooo yeah, your boy started scoping….I knew one of them broads was gonna have to be digging your boy. Didn’t see anyone that leapt out at me…but I end up seeing one with a tat of Africa. That shit spoke to my kinda afrocentric ass and she had a big ass (Nice wide hips….like I told E-dot, I can’t see hips the width of my shoulders and not want to grip ‘em from behind), so I spoke to her. Started out with a compliment on the tat…..led into small talk small talk small talk….

And here is where I realized thing between me and her would get a little fun

Bully: (Notices decent sized diamond) Sooooo …..you married? I see you have ring on.
Hips: Yeah, I’m married. Blah blah.
BULLY: OK (Turns around and starts to walk off)
Hips: (Grabs BULLY and pulls him back) Naw, c’mon now. Don’t be like that.

Yep…..it was like that. But there is more

So we talk a little more and

Hips: So, what do you do?
BULLY: I do security….sometimes personal security.
Hips: (Grabs BULLY, Pulls him in tight) Are you going to be my bodyguard?
BULLY: Shiiiitttt, you better get that nigga you are married to to be your bodyguard. (I’m a funny ass negro)

Sooooo, yeah, we were getting our serious flirt on. BULLY arm around the back of her chair type me claiming her type shit. Touching her on the back of her neck with muh finger tips and shit. (Yeah, I do that shit…..so what)

But shit gets even better. There was another chick in the group. Even though my initial assessment didn’t show any obvious BULLY wanters there was another. And yes, she did come over. And . Started. Flirting and touching too. She sat in muh lap some, sat next to me all leaning on your boy and shit. The crew is looking at me like that young threesome is about to pop off. Shit was great. But I really didn’t even care about the other chick. I was feeling ol’ married ass Hips.

Also, while we were sittin there we saw Luenell.....she is most commonly known for her role as a prostitute in "Borat" or being on Comicview tombout she too cheap to by strapless bras, so she just hangs the straps off her shoulders where you can't see. Me and E-dot ran her down and took pics with her.

I tried to be a funny smart ass to her and she shut me down hard.

Then she made us both her little bitches

Luenell: Y'all know my name

E-dot and BULLY: (crickets..and deer in headlights look)

Luenell: Y'all niggas wanting pictures and don't even know my name....My name is Luenell

E-dot and BULLY: Oh, ok, Luenell we'll remember that

Luenell: Say it...say my name

E-dot and BULLY: luenell

Luenell: Say it again

E-dot and BULLY: Luenell

Luenell: Say it again...Say it loud

E-dot and BULLY: LUENELL!!

No bullshit.

Anyway, it go to lookin like the sky was gonna fall out, so we got up and walked the half block to our hotel. The chicks ened up coming by too. That shit was hella fun. Bout 12 muthafuggas in a little ass boutique hotel room. Muthafuggas that were already bout drunk and were drinking even more. E-dot turned the ipod deck thing on and niggas kept the party rollin for about an hour or so. So you know your boy, the no dancing ability having BULLY was all up on Hips’ izzass.

I don’t really remember shit else until night time (Well, I know me and the crew kept on drankin). We ended up going to Mansion that night. The girls were supposed to come too. It was $60 to wait in line, or $100 to get in no wait. None of Team Diesel like to wait so you know we dropped that Yard on it. The girls got there later, but the joint was at capacity so they found some other shit to get into.

It kinda sucked going to the club. It was rainy as fuck and we were walkin. We passed this one chick in like a gold bikini and some little short skirt type thing. She was kinda bad though. Nice big full titties…prolly D’s. Nice dark choclatey skin. Had some booty on her. She had a little bit of tude though so we aint really mess with her. She ended up in line with us, but she still kinda had some tude.

Anyway, me and the crew got in the club. It was jumpin. For the most part we all stayed together in the same area. We dancing and bullshittin and drinkin and shit. I end up pulling this random chicks top up while we were dancing. I’m tombout shirt and bra. Your boy had titties in his hands…..and mouth (don’t ask why). E-dot caught a couple pics of titties in my hands….

Later on I started walking around…thoroughly drunk by now. I see this Jazzy ass big girl. She was big, but it was all in a good shape. Ass and thighs and titties…and some gut. I’m dancing with her and grippin her hips (I can’t help it). I don’t feel any panty lines.

BULLY: Girl, you aint got no draws on……
Big Girl: Naw, its too hot to wear underwear down here.
BULY: (Grabs tittays) …but you are wearing a bra
Big Girl:………lol yeah…

Anyway…we got all types of inappropriate in the club, on the dance floor. Not to get too far into details but Steve came out and said hi for a bit and after I walked off I was putting my finger in people’s faces like “Hey, smell this.” (I did, accidentally touch one of my boys lip. It really was on accident. I felt real bad…and didn’t tell him where that finger had been)

But yeah, that was a good example of how that weekend wasn’t right. Shit was backwards. Normally things go Meet girl, get name, then number, then put jibby on her. That time it was meet girl, put jibby on her, get number, then get name. But a nigga ain’t complaining.

So…I end up walking off again. I end up upstairs and run into the chick that had on the gold Bikini. We all ended referring to her as Goldie. Goldie was just sittin there and I went up and started talking to her. She acted a little tudey at first but then warmed up on some ol I was just playin hard to get type shit. She was all like “You said you were gonna come find me and you did blah blah blah” Did I say that shit to her? Maybe in my druken game spittin flyness. Some ol shit that I say that is flyyy, but I have no intentions of following through on and then almost immediately forget that I ever even said that shit.

She tells me its her b-day or about to be her b-day or some shit (nigga I was real drunk). And we get to getting close and dancing and all that and I’m really feeling broad. And she is all nibbling on a nigga’s earlobe and kissing a niggas neck and shit……I was feeling the hell outta broad…which led me to something that a young pimpin man like myself (I was pimpin for the holiday weekend atleast) should never do……I kissed that ho in the mouth.

Yeah….I’m not proud of that shit, but I was really drunk and was really REALLY feeling that broad. (The crew ragged on me about it, but one of the boys linked up with another bad broad that was confessing her love to his ass…he, apparently was really REALLY feeling that broad too cause he kissed her in the mouth too)

Anyway…Goldie ended up blowing me off like I gotta go find my girls that I came here with. I’ll holler at you when the club is over. I never heard from her again. The other dude got chicks digits….but he only got the area code and 6 other digits. 310-XXX-XXXI don’t know.

But real talk…how you gonna be kissing on a nigga, get him to kiss you in the mouth and then not link up and atleast get some of Steve in your guts? I don’t just be kissing broads all in the mouth (and for the record there wasn’t any tongue…just a lil lip suckin….I think. I was fuckin drunk) all willy nilly and shit.

That was a funny day for me. I don’t normally crush…especially chicks that I have just met, but I not only fell for Goldie I was really feeling Hips too. Had me all like “I think Iike Goldie even more than Hips”. Sounding like a straight up BIIIIIIITTTCCCHHHH!!

So, anyway, I didn’t link up with Hips either that night and we ended up at this place called Big Pinks to get some Breakfast pizza around 530 in the am. I got to talking to these Black british chicks over the importance of black folks learning their heritage and figuring out where you came from all the way back to Africa and all that. I told chick that Black Americans kinda had to create our own thing over here in America because we weren’t allowed to carry on our culture and all that. I said it was good to know to a point, but tracing shit all the way bay to Africa was all but pointless…..mostly because it is damn near impossible. She called me ignorant and shit.

I got pissed. (I had drank too much and was too tired to continue arguing rationally) So I just abruptly got up said “Good night, nice meeting you.” And bounced.

We make it back to the hotel and the crew called me dirty and said I had Hepatitis XYZ.

That was Saturday.

-The Muthafuggin BULLY

Maybe I should have played Hooky

2008-06-05T07:48:00.005-04:00

So.....yeah, it looks like your boy is kinda headed towards a COMMITTED relationship. Kinda. I was dating 2 slim little chicks. Now I am dating one, I have told some nice thick chick that I couldn't poke cause I was thinking bout my slm chick. I banged out my bottom chick this past weekend and I couldn't really get into it and didn't want to do it anymore. So when the BULLY starts losing interest in random and or meaningless sex then it means the BULLY is bout ready to commit.

But.....the BULLY is no longer a fool.

I'm still talking to new chicks. there is another slim chick. She is kinda tall, bout my height (5-8/5-9. She is mad cool. Wants to get off in the gym with me for a little. That is awesome.

There is also this big ol amazon type chick. 6 feet and a lil over 200 lbs of dark choclatey goodness. She is a fuckin' giant and I love it. If we had kids they would have to use one of those cranes that they use to hoist up big ass fish just so the doctor could pop its booty.

We always have good convo cause she is a smart ass....always has an answer for everything. Soooo we were talkin last night, I got off the phone with her and not 5 minutes later she texts me:

I kno u don't really like ur job that much so u should come cuddle and play hooky tomorrow. No is not an option...

Sooo, I'm sittin here at work all tired and not feeling like doing shit....I should have gone over and cuddled with her giant ass.

uuuggghhhhh

-the muthafuckin bully

Barrack Obama is my Nero (Negro-Hero)

2008-06-04T08:58:00.002-04:00

Memorial Day Weekend, SOuth Beach

2008-05-30T12:01:00.003-04:00

WWWoooooooowwwwwwww

A nigga’s weekend was soooo much fuckin fun. That trip was the most fun that I have ever had I think….I mean maybe. Maybe I’m just getting older and appreciating shit more……Naaaaahhh, that shit was OFF THE DAMN CHAIN!!

Firstly…I mean, the biggest most influential part of the trip….the part that made it most fun was the crew. Then came the tons o’ women, and boose and sun and beach.

Crew Rundown

E-dot: One of the Boys from Mech. Eng. School. Dude didn’t talk to me for a whole semester…tombout “You look liked a big ol’ asshole…I didn’t know why the other guys even hung out with you” his words. He is one of my bestfriends and has been for 5-6 years.

Big Chris: This cat was down from the beginning. My moms loves him. We call the den at momma’s house “Big Chris Room”. I went on a 3-4 day road trip with him once that included my first trip to Memorial Day Weekend South Beach in 2004. Another Bestfriend.

Young Billiam: Knew this cat in E-school. He was an Electrical Eng. Major. We partied some, but we were never in the same core crews. He’s a real nice good guy…I kept on teasing him for being a “Sweet Nigga” this weekend cause he was doing nice things for females. I’d be like “Fuck this!!” then he’d go “Hold on a minute…chill out” The good cop to my BULLY. Spent most of my time paired up with this dude during the weekend. He is a real Stand up dude.

Solar, the brown guy: He is a member of Team M.E. (Mech. Eng.) Took numerous road trips with him and the rest of Team M.E. during school. He is Costa Rican. Costa Rica has no military and he completely embodies that. Great happy dude…never has any problems with anyone and no one can ever have a problem with him. Another all around Great dude.

Ok if I write out what happened in story format this shit will be waaaaaay too damn long, so I am gonna break each day up and spit it out in bullet form. If you don’t like it….then, well…yeah, you can blow me.

Thursday Night:
- I flew into Miami…Big Chris and Billiam flew into Lauderdale. (shit was too late for us to hit the Sex Club with Quebie so we just headed downtown)
- We gawked at some thick white broads…tried to find the Reggae Club, I took a poo in the public bathroom in the downtown club area next to the river (I’m a damn man damnit)
- I ended up linking up with a cute curvy short dark Haitian chick….body was on pppoooooiiiinntttt. Young Billiam was the super wingman (Nigga deserved an award)
- I’m standing with shorty Hatian with a dquiri and her not so attractive cousin comes up, bumps my arm and holds out and empty cup……bitch gets the crazy look. “What the hell you want?” “Some drink?” …..”Nigga you MUST ask, say please and thankyou….don’t come up to me bumping me and holding out no cup”……”Ok…here is a little” (Give her what ever was suspended in my straw) I ended up pouring her a little after she said please and shit (Later she tried will with the same thing and he gave her a nice bit….ol’ sweet nigga but he was doing the best job possible as wingman. Nigga was amazing.”
- We end up giving them a ride to their car. Car was full so we had to lap it up. I was driving and wanted shorty in my lap.
- Shorty straddled me……big chris pulled us from the driverseat. (I told that nigga I could still drive with her on me….)
- Shorty’s cousin’s car ended up with Shorty’s bare ass prints smeared all on the passenger side windows and roof of the car….and I learned that shorty was cleanly shaven…..giggitty ( I didn’t hit, just a little pat and tickle while Billiam put the cousin through all of the Kamasutra Poses across the hood of the rental car….he didn’t hit…but he damn sure had her in the Downward dog position while conversing….wingman extraordinaire)
- We headed back to Miami…..got Free cake from Don Rodrigo…..Sang and dance to “Booty Butt Cheeks” and “Do the Homie” as we went into the I hop
- ….left Ihop and the sun was up.

Friday:
- Checked into the hotel and started drinking immediately
- Got drunk and started walking the strip
- Billiam and I ended up meeting a couple brizzles at the bar in the hotel
- Followed brizzles to the club, Prive
- I left the line to go score some henessy from the liquor store down the way
- Re-upped our buzz on straight hen-dog and bottled water while in line
- Sold the last bit of Hen in bottle to niggas in line for $10
- Got loose as fuck in the club
- Eventually Big Chris, E-dot, and Solar showed up and we had more drinks…..
- E-dot takes shot…makes gasface…hurls a little….right there at the bar
- E-dot keeps on partying
- I realize my phone is lost
- I realize my knife is lost
- I get super overly pissed
- I almost cry like a bitch (don’t ask….I was on some other shit that night)
- I alternate being pissed about loosing phone and getting on hoes (Like dance dance dance….sulk sulk sulk repeat)
- Me and Billiam leave Club….
- Call my phone…no answer
- Call little sis….She said she just finished talking to broad that had my phone and she was pissed cause chick hung up on her
- I get extra pissed cause bitch pissed off sister
- I tell Billiam to go back to the boys…I’ll find my phone myself….
- Billiam was smart/sane enough to not leave drunk raging BULLY alone
- Billiam keeps BULLY from being arrested (yyyeeeaaaahhh)
- I finally talk to chick that has phone
- She tells me to meet her at 10th and Collins
- I think she says 5th and Collins
- I show up at 5th and Collins and start hounding every female I see (Walkin up on them…”Bitch, you lookin for me?....Where my phone bitch”
- Call my phone back up…learn I need to go to 10th and proceed there…
- At 10th and Collins I repeat the “Bitch you lookin for me……Where my phone bitch” routine.
- Chick calls and tells me to get it from front desk and we order them Mimosas for in the morning (What?…..Mimosas are the shit)
- I holler at k@liente (Pretty ass) and tell them we are gonna get pizza near their hotel. I ask if she wants to go get some with us
- K@li says naw, you go get the pizza and bring it up to us
- BULLY says “Fuck that…..you better come down here and wait with us”. But Billiam steps in “…Naw tell ‘em we’ll get it and bring it to ‘em” (good cop to my BULLY)
- Pizza shop runs outta dough…gonna be an hour before we can get pizza
- BULLY says “Fuck them…lets get us these 2 last pieces and bug out!”
- Billiam “Naw man….we can wait”
- The hardest white midget ever comes in with a real ass goon like nigga. Goon Nigga goes off on some white dude and sufficiently punks everyone in the pizza shop (The one on 11th between Collins and ocean) Goon Nigga leaves…Billiam says something to me…..
- Goon nigga comes back like “What was that???”
- Billiam goes “I-I-I-I was talking t-t-t-to him” and points at me
- BULLY ……was still silent as a bitch
- BULLY was not trying to get shot up in a pizza shop by trick daddy’s cousin
- We take pizza to K@li
- K@li thanks BULLY
- BULLY says “Don’t thank me….thank Billiam. If it was up to me I woulda left and yall would not have had shit”
- We leave
- The sun was coming up and we were too tired to even try to get in there and rub on booties…..even though K@li’s cousin did come to the door in a wifebeater and some big ass perkie titties in some sort of sports bra. A nigga was too tired to even stare.
- Niggas went to sleep.

I got 3 more days to talk about….maybe I will come with more instalments….maybe I won’t.

Do you want to hear more?
Things get worse/better as the weekend progressed. Friday was the only day with out some sort of naughty Trollop action.

-the Muthafuggin BULLY

I don't give a fuck.

2008-05-17T22:19:00.002-04:00

Fuck you very much.

Hello, my name is the BULLY.....yes "the BULLY" and you do have to say the whole thing.

My name is the BULLY and I don't give a fuck.

The following is a list of things that I do give:

Ass woopings
cunnilingus (if I spelled that wrong BLOW ME)
innapropriate text messages to involved women
innapropriate text messages to single women
great medium sized dick (Steve)
scary car rides
awesome pony (Steve) rides
Drunken great medium sized penis (Steve on that Drank)
The best kisses
Vulgar language
Random ass facts and examples
Pointless long ass stories
tittie orgasms (yeah, I'm that good)
Myself haircuts

......the list goes on and on, but that list does not include a fuck.

Right now I am in my lil sis' room at her new house. Yeah, she is 24 and a home owner...big up to the BULLY's lil sis.

Anyway..I am held up in her room while she is out in the livin room with her female friends all screaming and hootin' and hollerin.

They are watching a stripper.

Prolly touchin' his big ole stripper dick.

I don't give a fuck.

If Slim Chick #1 wasn't dealing with a migrain right now I'd prolly be touchin on her big ol D-cup boobages.....and then some cause I'm nasty....and I don't give a fuck.

I'm sippin on some shit. Might be loosed up by the time the OHN talk radio shit jumps off.

Less than a week till I am in M-I-Yayo. Gonna get off in a nasty sex club with my e-girl QQ....gues she will then be a real world friend then.....especially if she ends up accidentally seeing Steve as I beat some unsuspecting 40 something white woman about her clavicle with him.

Slim Chick #2 is tired of talking to me and me not trying to be exclusive and me still banging out Slim Chick #1. I don't really feel like me and Slim Chick #1 and I are reallygonna end up being anything, even with her killing Slim Chick #2 in the tittie war (D vs A). I really enjoy talking with Slim Chick #1. She is a nerdy book geek type chick and she is smart and sweet and can take and return my smartassedness and she shows mad interest in what I do at work. I really like that.

I'm not ready to stop fucking these other females though.

And Slim Chick #2 and I have only been out twice then she left town at the end of April and wont be back till the beginning of June. I mean, yeah, we talk alot....like everyday....I don't want to commit to someone that I cant even hug up with on the weekends. Maybe when she comes back to town, but shiiiiiiiiit.......Fuck all that

I think she is really just trying to catch me up before I go to the M-I-A and get loose on South Beach. Yeah, she looked at the pics that I have on fb and ....well...yeah, she voiced her concerns.

but....hey, I'm the BULLY and not ready to go straight and narrow just yet.

So, she tells me things are gonna change if I'm not ready to leave the other broad alone and stuff. She is tired of kinda acting like we are in a relationship (all the talking on the phone and stuff....We talk on the phone while I am work too....yeah, she is allowed to call the corperate line)

I told her that I am really trying to build a strong friendshiplike bond...or see if one can be built before I commit to a relationship..not commit to a relationship and then form a bond.

Anyway....I'm not comprimising my shit for a female's wants again. I'll commit if and when I want to.

-the BULLY

Twice the MAN she is used to.

2008-05-15T09:34:00.004-04:00

Sooooo I was talkin to Slim Chick #2 last night and she asked me what my ex looked like. I told her that the ex was her complete opposite. Tall, dark, and kinda built like Serena...just smaller, but same shape. And we end up going into what type of girls do I like and all that. I told her that I LOVE women. I like big amazons and little petite types as long as they have a womanly figure (I'm all about the hourglass shape).

So I ask her what her dudes have looked like. She tells me about her height (she is 5'-2" I think) and lean.

Me:...So you are used to dudes that are about 130-140lbs
her: Yeah...but they were really lean
Me: Sooooo you like dudes that are literally half my size (5'9" 260lbs....all sexual beast)..........What in the hell are you doing talking to me?
Her: Because I like you...that's why.

Slim Chick #1, on the other hand, likes big dudes...but I don't know if she really likes me or Steve. I think she likes me, but its Steve that makes her make that extra effort to actually come see me. (She constantly flaked out on me before I banged her out.)

I think I need to start working on a couple more team members.

I have one chick that I think likes me for sex more than anything and another that likes my personality and stuff, but I don't think she is sexaully attracted to me.

I must give Slim Chick #2 a fair chance. We have only hung out in person twice and the second time was when she found out I was banging other chick. She went back home a couple weeks ago and won't be back until June 8 (She is in Grad school and has a break between spring and summer semmesters). I really gotta wait and see how she is physically around me before I can definitively tell if she is digging the big body or not.

Anyway...I've been training pretty damn hard lately and I feel great!!

I've started running with this Chick..she is about 132lbs (Thick little broad)...trying to drop 6lbs so she can fit in her size 3-4 clothes right. She is about 5'4" and in her early to mid 30's and the ass is sick.....I'm tombout SIIIICCCCKKK!! Me and work out partner used to refer to her as "Basketball" cause....yeah, the booty looks like a basket ball sittin up and out on that backside. she has a boyfriend and a kid.......but I am the BULLY and that is all I am going to say about that.

Shit is going pretty good. I got 1 week left 'til I am all up in M-I-Yayo. Your boy is gonna be loose on that damn juice, and wildin' out with his boys (TEAM DIESEL in that bitch....t-shirts coming soon). If I see you and touch your booty don't even act like you mad cause 1) I'm just playin...you know we cool and 2) You know you like that shit.

-the Muthafuckin' BULLY

VOTE FOR E-DOT DDDDOOOIIIIIIITTTt and tell all your firends to

2008-05-08T10:14:00.002-04:00

If E-dot Wins the Grand Marnier thing (I'm tombout the grand prize trip to Paris) I will post a pic of Steve aka Peter Black.

Thats right....I'm giving dick shots for victory.

Yes, even you...Coco La Rue, can see my dick too.

Go vote for E-dot.

www.mygrandmarnier.com Vote for Elliot Carter in Orlando, Fl.

Hell yeah, I'm trying to ride shirt tails into Paris.

VOTE FOR E-DOT

2008-05-06T21:19:00.003-04:00

Noooo, I know what you're thinking and no, he is not entered into a Light Skinned Negro Contest...he entered some sort of Grand Marnier contest so go on over their to http://mygrandmarnier.com and vote for E-dot (Elliott Carter) and his story about his chick saying yes.

Ol' wankster ass mellow yellow nucka.

E-dot.....you my nigga!!

-the BULLY

I was tagged

2008-05-05T12:49:00.002-04:00

I was triple teamed by Bride of Slaus and Slaus and my dear sweet damn near virginal friend

Here are the rules.
* link to the person that tagged you
* share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself
* tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs
* let each random person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog

Let it begin
1) I get razor bumps/ingrown hairs easy as a fugg. That is actually a big reason why I rock the scruffy look all the damn time. I say fuck it, don't shave and not stay with some ol' fucked up nasty big ass pimple looking things in my face....and privacies.

2) As much of a heathen ass whore of a man that can count the number of times that I have been to church in the last 10 years on one hand I still want a chick that is into the church. (Oddly enough I have been pulling those types.....the ex is the daughter of a preacher one of just bang whenever I need to chicks is the daughter of a preacher too)

3) I am not dumb enough to break of this big fine amazonian chick that works at my job..but that bitch got maaaadddd body. I'm tombout front and back.

4) I am self concious about my ugly ass toenails.

5) I have been the guy that really dug the chick that gave up the goods to any dude that tried it and all I ever did was cuddle, play with the titties and make out some. Then when I told her I was digging her she was like "Ungh Ungh". That shit hurt for like a year.

6) I really want to be a daddy. A married with children, no baby momma type REAL daddy.

I tag my Team Mates E-dot and Big Chris. I also tag my innanet/cougar crush Chocl8t, Tittayballs gets tagged also. Let my go ahead and tag the Gringo and your momma

The shit I do is not supposed to be done to me.

2008-05-01T08:02:00.003-04:00

Ok....so Saturday night Slim chick #2 was over and was playin with my phone, like she always does, except this time she actually had the balls to go through it. I knew she was gonna do it and I didn't give a fuck.

This is how things went
Her: Who is (real name of Slim Chick #1)?
the BULLY: A friend.
Her: And she calls you "Honey"?
the BULLY: Yep. We have known each other for a loooong time.
Her: And you call her "Babe"?
the BULLY:......Yep. We're dating.
Her: Are you sleeping with her?
the BULLY: (thinks about the text sent to Q tellin her how I banged ol girl out twice...real real good) Gimme my damn cell phone.
the BULLY: ...........Yeah, we have sex sometimes. (Well, its only sex sometimes cause we aren't together all the time. We're like little rabbits around each other)

I told her that I reallly did like her (slim chick #2), but I'm just not ready to be exclusive. And that is the real deal.

Her: blah blah blah
the BULLY: Blah blah blah blah

after a while

her: So can get me a friend with benefits?
the BULLY: I can't stop you. I'm not saying I'll like it, but I can't stop you.

Fast forward to yesterday.

Her: Well, you told me that you wanted to know, so I have met a dude and we are gonna start dating.
the BULLY: Damn......ok........(starts thinking about how he has been thinking about chick a lot ore lately and how much he has thought about her lately and all that.......and e-mails with Q about her and all that shit........starts to feel like saying fuck all that. If she wants to talk to other dude fuckin' let her. And let her fuckin miss me.)

I told her that I didn't like it. She tried to argue her point that she should be able to do it if I was, but I just repeatedly cut her off and told her that I wasn't telling her to not do shit. I told her that I didn't like it...and had to figure out if I would let my pride win and no talk to her anymore.

Anyway.....I didn't sleep to well last night. I called her on her house and cell phones and she didn't return my calls...second time she has done that this week. (The first time was Tuesday night.....she told me she was with dude...How nice.) So, I kinda feel like I should try to still kick it with chick cause I was doing it first, so why should she sit and wait on me and all that bullshit, but....I feel like she is intentionally doing this to try to game me. If a broad tries to game me I don't play into that shit which makes me want to do waaaayyyy less than what I would have normally done.

But maybe this is a point that I should swallow my pride and show her she is worth me pursuing and all that. Which is something I rarely (or never) do. (Yeah, I am an arrogant ass BULL of a man). I do things to show chicks that I like/care for them, but when it comes to breaking myself for a chick....going against my pride.....naw, homie. That shit don't just happen too often. And doing anything at all that may seem like I am feeding into the "He is now trying to outshine the other guy/compete for her attention" type thing is NOT gonna go well with my big BULLISH pride.

Right now, the only way I see me doing this and making myself happy is if I put in the effort just to fuck her right quick and then stop calling her. But I don't really want to do that to her.....not really.

Maybe I'll just break myself a litte and see what happens.

Edit:
I'll just pursue as normal, but the moment that I do not feel like I am a priority I fall back.

fffuuuuuuucccckkkkkkkk....come one Memorial Day Weekend!!

-the BULLY

Off to a great start

2008-04-26T06:55:00.004-04:00

Yeah, so it is early as hizzell on a Saturday Morning (6:55 am). I've been awake for bout an hour. And I feel good.

Why, you ask?

I'll tell you.

My old High School Crush (aka Slim Chick #1) came by. We had some sweet sweet cuddle cuddle action...a nice bangout session...went downtown and watched the end of a parade (we were an hour late cause we were bangin/laying there in post coital bliss all cuddled up). We were seen by my ex (Yeah, Slim Chick has the body that the ex would damn near die for.....really, the ex has a BAD body image problem). I know its kinda petty, but...whatever. She started it. Like a month and a half after we broke up she called me up wanting me to come be her protection cause she started talkin to some dude that turned out to be a little crazy and he started sending her a ton of angry text messages and leaving a ton of derrogative voicemails. Tombout she wants to be friends and shit....I haven't been called since ol dude stopped calling her. Friends my ass.

Anyway...Slim Chick #2 is coming over today to do the festival stuff with me. Whats better than having my ex seeing me with a pretty little slim chick? I'll tell you. Having her see me with 2 pretty little slim chicks.

Holla!!

This is for Poca-hotass and Marlueax (or how ever the hell its spelled)

2008-04-24T12:27:00.004-04:00

Yeah, sooooo I'm still thinking about how Poca wants to shout out Marly-marl on her car and not me.

Yeah, I got a problem with letting shit go.......blow me.

Anyway, this is the team. F, the F-150, aka The Trizzy, aka da truck, aka Club Coolbreeze, aka the Beat Machine, aka the green truck, aka my bitch, aka the place that my bottom chick had her most memorable sexual experience with me (Yeeeah. Folks from Tally...you know the trizzy done been out to Lake Ella on a couple late night visits)

Everyone loves the truck. I'm known with the truck. I've had it since I was 14. I see old folks from highschool that I haven't seen in years sometimes and they'll be like "You still driving that ol' green truck? I see it rollin' round town all the time and wonder if its you."

The other is Ms. Destiny J. Maxima (Yeah, its the SE...sport edition 18" rims and Z-rated tires). Don't let the size fool you.....that Big girl is ffffaaaasssstttt!! I've had that thing up to 144mph, still had a more throttle and rpms to go, but I got scared and backed off.

So there you have it. My Blogger version of "Cribs: Whips Edition"

-the BULLY

My life since the last post

2008-04-23T10:26:00.005-04:00

Ok, yeah, I have been wanting to post something new for a whizzile, but I wanted my boy, the Gringo, to have a long time of exposure up here. Wanted e'rybody to read his ish.

Anyway, there has been a good amount of fun shit going on muh life. I have gone from being single and lonely, banging out my bottom broad on the weekends due to neccessity, and being a little lonely to dating 3 chicks and being the owner of an approx 3 yr old Yorkie named Paco (Short for Apocalypse).

Yeah, pretty good times.

Lets get into the meat of things......

First new chick...the Hairdresser

I met her at a restaurant/lounge thing. She was givin mad attitude and I was diggin it. We hit it off, we ended up kickin it latenight at the beauty parlor where she works and she sold me some razorbump cream for my face.

We have kicked it a couple of times, had a good time together. She told me how she didn't want to do anything with me early into getting to know each other. Well....if you bring shit up like that around more than a couple times I'm gonna take it as a challenge. I'm competitive as hell and I like to win.

Sooooo one night she took me out to dinner, and while we were out she said something like "I like my men to have a little thug in them". yeah, she asked me if I had any thug in me and a nigga was like "Nope!"

She goes "If something goes down I need to know I'm with someone thats gonna take care of me"

Me: "Naaawww, I will be QUICK to call the cops. I mean, yeah, I'm a gun toter, but that shit is for just in case...emergency type shit. IfI can avoid using it/getting in any kind of shit I will. I have waaaaayyyy too much going on for me in my life to blow it on some no count mofo."

But I still gave her the benefit of the doubt, figured maybe that was her country ass way of saying she likes a protective type dude. We leave the restaurant, go back to her place, kick it, she brought up the not doing anything type thing........I smashed and left. She then sent me messages tombout she shouldn't have done that....now I was gonna just see her the same as the other chicks that I was/am knokin' off and all that. Well....she shouldn't have challenged the BULLY. I like to win.

Next day or so I get a text and she is all geeked up about a pic I have on myspace with my lil sis. We have gold grills in our mouths. They are fake, but were fun as hell. She was mmmaaaddd geeked over it. I talked to her later that night and she says something about She was surprised that I would have a grill seeing how all my friends were white......I was like "WHAT??? Did you even look at my top 8?"

her: Oh, well, all the people in your pics are white. (and then kinda quietly, under her breath says)"It would explain how you talk"

I asked what the hell she said and she was like "Nothing...there is nothing wrong with the way you talk" and all that.

I told her how much it pisses me off when folks want to call me white or white acting/talking.

Anyway, I saw the comment she left on said pic on myspace and that shit said something like "I knew you had some thug in you. Keep it up!"

That shit is sooooo UUUGGHHHHH to me. Her ass is being phased out as we speak. Right now she is at the "Not getting text messages replied to stage" Which will shortly be followed by the "Your whole thing about liking thugs has really turned me off from trying to pursue a relationship with you" type talk. I'll tell her we can be friends, but that is about it.

She was the only thick/kinda big chick on the roster.

The other 2.....little slim chicks. The biggest one (The High School Crush) weighs about 120-125 (She is great arm candy...anyone that I know that has seen her always tells me she is pretty) and is around 5' 4". They are both really sweet. The other one...I'll call her little ass Fiesty, cause she is, is a Grad Student at a little University 'round here (she is cute as hell too). She says she just loves to cook and all that and is showing hellafied amounts of interest (Like inviting me to go with her to a beach vacay where her whole fam will be). I likey her little bold ass. I don't even think I'm gonna hollar at anymore chicks for a while. I'm good with just my 2 little chicks that you could combine their weights and they still not weigh as much as the BULLY.

Oh, and I competed in Highland Games this weekend and kicked much ass.

And yeah, I have a Yorkie now. Ok, he isn't really mine. He belongs to a female friend of mine that is too busy to really keep him.. Since I kinda want a dog, but don't have room for a dog the size that I want I got Paco.

-the BULLY

A post written by Mohawk Gringo

2008-04-14T09:02:00.001-04:00

In a second, I'll tell you about the time some white girls sprayed mace at the bully.

But first, I'll let you know the knickname that I know him by. Well, one of the nicknames...if I share the embarassing ones about him, he's gonna do it right back to me.

And then all this about me being the happiest man on the internet will go right out the window.

For those of you who haven't met him, the bully is a big dude. One time at cracker barrel he pulled me out of the back of an SUV and threw me down like I was Shakira. And I'm about 190. Whatever, I took his shoes and threw them in the road and then farted on his pillow.

Don't believe me? There's a twenty minute video of us yelling and whining and about to engage in some fisticuffs.

I think that was somewhere in Atlanta going back to Tallahassee. He got stuck in the middle of the back seat of a Mitsubishi Montero between a half Thai half redneck dude and a greek panamanian. On the way back to Tallahassee we all said we should keep on going to Panama City.

The bully said, "Might as well keep this train a going, my ass is allready sore."

Get it Train...Ass.

And that was after a crazy weekend where he fell asleep at some random wedding reception. I found him in the Marriot bar asleep on a couch with three bridesmaids sitting around him drinking cocktails. I think I took a picture.

Who the hell has a wedding reception at the Marriot anyway?

Oh yeah, the nickname. Six of us were down in Zephyrhills, Florida touring the Zephyrhills water plant. I don't remember, either the bully had a job there, or he was banging one of the supervisors daughters. Either way, there was a huge scale that all six of us got on.

Together, we weighed 1000 lbs. The bully came in at 250. New nickname, Quarter. For you math challenged folks, 250 lbs is one quarter of a 1000 lbs.

After leaving the Zephyrhills plant we headed out to stay at some random chicks house that a friend of ours knew. Later that night, the bully stuck me in the head with a fork while I was trying to sleep. I think it was the one I ate ice cream with.

Wait, let me back up first.

The Zephyrhills tour was just an excuse to go out drinking in Tampa, away from hickville Tallahassee. Tampa is where old people go to die, except for this little strip called YBOR city.

We had all been drinking heavily that night.

After the club closed, a couple of white girls were hollerin' at the bully from their car. So he went over to lay some game down.

I guess me and the bully have different ways of handling the ladies, but next thing I know he's trying to climb though the passenger side window of the car.

For some reason, I don't find anything weird about this. Ten seconds later, the car starts to drive away with the bully half stuck and his feet in the air.

Picture this...a little bitty car, with a big ole bully hanging out. Bully's big ass weighting the car down so much it look like the suspension was broke on one side.

I still don't find anything wrong with this.

Then I see the bully's feet start kicking, like he's swimming but there is no water. Then the car swerves and slams on the brakes. The bully pushes off the car and breaks out into a sprint.

Next thing I know, white girl in the passenger seat leans out the window spraying a big can of pepper spray with a pissed off look on her face.

I don't even remember what the bully said happened, I was laughing so hard.

I hope you guys liked reading this little flash from the past as much as I liked writing it.

If you want more, go visit me at www.mohawkgringo.com. Sign up for the newsletter too, I'm always writing about stories like this.

Big Fun,
Mohawk Gringo

P.S. The bully may come off as a little crazy in this blog here, but I know better. I've heard him talk about how much he loves his momma.

Introduciiinnnnggggg the Mohawk Gringo

2008-04-11T08:43:00.003-04:00

Yeeeeaaahhhh, the Mohawk Gringo is kinda like an internet Celebrity....sorta, but he is the HAPPIEST MAN ON THE INTERNET.

We're actually old friends, he is the writer of the first blog that I ever read, the reason that I started bloggin'. I knew him back before he was the Mohawk Gringo, back when he was just some crazy lookin' gringo.

He wrote a post introducing himself and threw in a couple of stories aboutchur boy from a trip to Tampa. They are pretty funny, but he is the ass that shaved his balls with the girl's razor the next morning, but I'm just glad he took a shower. Dude would take 2 outfits for a trip. I'm talkin the clothes he was wearing and another pair o' pants and another shirt that was usually so snug and fruity that it could have easily been confused with one of his little sister's blouses. He usually would have his girlfriend (His "South Florida Pussy"....his words, not mine) come up from West Palm so they could get their sex on. Then on the ride back, while steadily scratching the shit outta his junk say something like "Hey, Bully, don't you hate it when you have sex and then the lube dries up and gets all itchy..."

the BULLY: "Ugh, bitch, naw. I fuckin' take showers.......did you not shower? Have you not showered since yesterday morning?"
Mohawk Gringo:"......nooo" **hung head in shame**

So, not only is he the HAPPIEST MAN ON THE INTERNET he is also one of the nastiest.

Oh, and there was that time he cooked me salmon for Valentine's day, too...but that is another story.

But, yeah, he has an awesome newsletter that he sends out damn near daily. Its always entertaining. He is a great dude/friend. Go on over and check him out at MohawkGringo.com. Sign up for his news letter. Tell him Bully sent you. (Really, go over and sign up for his news letter, tell him I (the BULLY) sent you. I get drinks for referrals.)

He is gonna post a blizzog sometime soon, introducing his damn self (and tellin a couple of stories about me that you never heard) so be on the look out.

-the BULLY

Good news everybody...(Said like the professor on Futurama)

2008-04-10T22:05:00.001-04:00

Sooo, I just had a really good date. She was like "We gotta do this again....soon.....like tomorrow"

the BULLY: "Ohkaaayyy"

Before I get into that I gotta talk about this dream I had 3-4 nights ago. I've been asked a time or so about who my blog crush was and I haven't really been able to answer. Ain't really fell for no one's blog. Actually, I think I've been doing this shit so long til I'm beyond the whole blog crush thing.

Anyway...So, I had a dream a few nights ago. I don't feel like going into detail, so I won't.

Buuutttttt, like to hear it? Here it go....

Me and chick are just kickin it. Chillin out on a couch, nigga ends up kinda noddin out and chick wakes me up like are you gonna just lay out here, or are you gonna clean up and get in the bed.

Now, here is what made the dream really nice. I felt like we had been in a relationship for a while and we had that super good level of comfort. Soooo a nigga was like "Ionno, just let me lay here for a while" So, chick goes off, and your boy goes back to sleep. Next thing I know I'm being awaken by said chick. She's buckets nekkid, and kinda leaning over my back, just enough for the boobages to be rubbin' your boy. I wakes up all like "Hey babe" and look down and see that her pubes are all shaved up.....shaved in the shape of an arrow. What made it funny was that the arrow pointed up, toward her face, not down, toward the panooch.

So I get up and wobble my sleepy ass into her room. She tells me about her cool ass lowrider Ranger (yeah, the little ford truck). Hands me the keys and asks me if I want to take it for a spin. To this I answer "Hells yeah". I go outside and drive the shit outta the lowrider truck. It was cool as hell. Had some "beat down" up in it. Some noisy ass exhaust. It had some get up to it and it was a manual, so I had hella fun shifting them gears, knowing my manual skills are marginal at best.

Sooooo, anyway, I don't remember much else, but I'm pretty sure I ended up having to run from the cops in the truck and all that, ended up back at chicks place, but didn't get HO-key Pokey on, but it was still a great fuckin time. I had what I miss most....intimacy. I fuck all the time. I got a couple females (one of which I know for a fuckin fact that I can call her and 30 minutes later be IN them guts), but don't ever get that good ol' huggin and cuddlin with a chick that I dig. That's where the good shit is.

Sooo, who is this lady blogger that my subconcious expects to have an upside down Arrow shaved into her bush and have a cool ass lowrider pick up. Well, maybe it will be as little a surprise for yall as it was for me when I woke up and thought about it. It was Ms. Fresh Bannana Puddin's ol freaky self.

I'll write about my good ol' date that just ended some other time.

My Swag

2008-04-06T14:03:00.003-04:00

Feel me?

This weekend has been fun.

Things I've done this weekend: (In chronoligical order)
-Gave Steve a makeover. Steve now looks like a pornstar and is now going by his porn name, Peter Black.
Steve's makeover comes from me communicating with QQ too damn much. This is a warning to you all. Talking to QQ will result in you nairing up your privacies and being all sexxy smooth hairless down there.

-I met a chick that is not unlike QQ. She has a fiance that lives far, far away and she has/had a dude in town for fun stuff. She broke it off with dude in town bout 2 weeks ago. She was mad cool. A smart ass. Dark. Big ol' ass. (More on all this later)
She talked shit about my razor bumps and ingrown hairs so I made her take me to her hair salon and sell me some stuff that she said would help heal them real quick. Soooo at 330 am I'm sittin up in a hair salon just kickin it with chick. It was nice.

-Slept a whole bunch on Saturday

-Drove the Trizzy (Truck for all you lames) down to Tally again. and Realized that the amount that I drive the trizzy is damn near directly proportional to how good I am feeling about myself and how much swag and all that I got going.....and I've been driving the truck a lot. ( Well, I should have known my swag was up when I told chick to not call me after 930....unless its about "business". I told her if she called after 930 and it wasn't about business I was gonna be pissed.
"If I call you at 945 and you miss it don't call me back until the next day if you aint lookin for "business""
(Business, for all you lames, is sexual relations)

-Chick tells me she thinks its about to be over with her and dude cause he has gotten real bad about not answering her calls and then texting her like "I'll call you in a min"

-Chick tells me that dude says he does have another chick and that he is tired of lying to her.

-Saw Rick Ross perform a pretty lackluster show on the roof of a nightclub

-Bought 2 double cheeseburgers. Them joints are delicious.

-Bought a new porno DVD, and a little vibrating toy

-Broke out the new toy and a vibing Jibby ring that I have had for like 3 months that I have been forgetting to use.

-Banged ol' girl out. Banged her out real good.......real real good and then passed out. And let her have the toy. It was like Christmas in April. A nigga gave out nuts and toys to a very naughty girl.

But, yeah, a nigga's swag is back on the come up. I think I lost my swag somehow while I was with the ex. Always breakin myself to make her happy. Fuck all that.

I feel like I am just so damn fly.....Fly-y-y-yy-yyyy.

I checked out a blogger's (K@liente) pics on Myspizzle. She is one purdy ass female. She is gonna be staying a few blocks down from where Team Diesel is staying in South Beach during Memorial Day Weekend......eeeegggggsssaaalleennnttt.

Don't have nothing else to say.

K@liente is pretty ass pretty heffa.

Oh, oh yeah, I finally realized what my type of chick is. People used to ask me and I wanted and I was never really able to really verbalize real quick and easy like. After meeting chick on friday night I realized exactly what I want.
- Dark Skin
-Smart Assedness/Bold and Sweet like Barbeque Sauce
-Big Booty
-Sexual Beast

-the BULLY

A PREGNANT MAN....HOORAY!!!!

2008-04-03T11:07:00.003-04:00

.....MAAAANNN, FUCK THAT WIERDO!!!!

Like I give a shit about some wierdo woman that did what most other women do and got pregnant.

This type o' silly shit pisses me off. Not 20 years ago they would have thrown that wierd ass bitch in a carnival and someone would have gotten real rich off a bitch.

Wierd ass bitch gets to go on Opera and shit.....thats some ol' straight Beyool Shit......Wierd Ho. If they need someone to be on Opera they need to put Ma BULLY on there. Let her talk about raising two successful children by her-damn-self. BY HER COT DAMN SELF. Not by choice, but thats just the way it was. But this wierd bitch decides to get a breast reduction and a pussy lip flip and now she is more famous than a fuckin' flavorette.

Let me meet this "Pregnant Man".....see if I don't woop his muthafuggin ass.....like a man.

High ass gas prices. High ass food prices. Going into a fuckin' recession. One of THE MOST IMPORTANT/LANDMARK PRESIDENTIAL ELECTIONS EVER going on and Wierd Ass Bitch is headlining shit.

That is exaclty why 3rd graders are coming up with better murder plans than an old ass former football star. (ORENTHALL!!)

-the BULLY

Around 20 thousand 5 hundred

2008-03-24T12:50:00.005-04:00

30 to 35 thousand was the population of Florida State when I went there. 20 to 21 thousand is the population of the town I live in now.

That shit there is hitting me soooo hard now. Now that there is a number behind it. Granted, if you count the WHOOOLLLLEE DAMN COUNTY the population is mid 40's, but still damn.

No wonder a nigga can't find a decent lady. (On the real-e-o I feel like between the Model Chick, who has moved back to NYC, and the Ex-Girlfriend I have dated the two most elgible bachelorettes in this whole damn time.)

Damn, maybe I need to move back to Tally Assee and just make that commute everydamnday.

I'm Trippin cause I just spent the last 4 days Wack, but BIG and Heavily populated Orlando and kicked it with the folks that were down for the National Society of Black Engineer's National. I saw women of all different types of fine. Short hair long hair dark, light, real dark, tall short. Everything from little short dark (darker than the BULLY) super cutey. She prolly don't even weigh 90lbs, but something about her makes me want to give her the BIZNESS!! I saw Ladyshay (She was totally checkin' out my booty....Yeah, I caught you lookin' girl...I caugt you lookin'). Y'all, Shay is tall. I was all expecting her to be like average girl height, 5-3 to 5-6, but naw she was like 5-9 and her hair looks great. Obviously she uses Pantene Pro-V (The best shampoo ever). She is lucky that the Horseshoe mustache man was around and the kinda lesbian like lookin' woman too. Cuz I might have tried to introduce her to the "Signature Move". (The BULLY kinda likes tall girls...hell, the ex was a little over 5-10)

Speaking of the "Signature Move" we were all hanging out and Black Ho...or maybe me...one and or both of us brought it up and one of Black Hoe's friends.....I'll call her Slim Hennesy, cause she is tall and slim...like 5-8ish and like a buck 15. And she is all nice and sweet seeming, but she kinda seems like one of the niggas that be like "Don't let the smooth taste fool you". I think she would fuck a nigga up...just like Hennesy.

Example: So we are all talkin bout crazy places we have done some freakery. (Big Chris is the wildest y'all......maybe I should call that man Big Hennesy) For the most part Slim Hennessy was like "Naw....I can't do all that" She later followed it "I can't BUST like that......If I can't BUST then I'm not doing it."

Yeah....a lil slim long hair princessy lookin type tombout BUSTIN' and she said it all raw and nasty like.......Don't let the smooth taste fool ya, nigga.

Anyway, back to the "Signature Move"....Slim Hennessy was like "...Do you ask before you do that?" Honestly I don't know how to ask someone about that. I just do it, get told "Uhn Unnnn, don't do that." or I just hear a lil more moaning.

So, here is my question to you all. Ok, to the chicks. Would/do you like a dude to ask before sticking a finger (mostly the thumb) in your ass or him just do it and let him surprise you.
And dudes, do y'all ask before you stick a finger (mostly the thumb) in a chick's ass?

And noooo, I don't want to hear about a finger going into a dudes ass. I ain't quite freaky enough for all that there like that there.

Ha hah ah ah ahahhahaha ahah

2008-03-18T07:29:00.000-04:00

YYyyeeeaaahhhhhh

You comin up in my crib
Yo’ hair in pony tail and you look good even without your hair did

So we chillin out on the couch
We are just straight up happy with each other and no need to go out.

You go to get some water….you ask me if I want some
I see that booty in them sweat pants lookin gooder than I honey bun…BEST BELIEVE I WANT SOME

We drinkin up on some Z-hills
That’s when I ask about them head skillz

You aint scurred so you pull Steve out right thurr
At first he aint to stout, but that nigga shol grew in yo mouth

……lol

I can’t even finish this. This was my weak ass attempt at a nasty poem like so many other bloggers do. Apparently poems are one of the things that the BULLY doesn’t do well.

Questions for the BULLY

2008-03-14T11:12:00.002-04:00

Aight, I've been wanting to write about stuff and all that but lately I have just ened e-mailing bloggers stuff that was on my mind.

I just looked at Ms. Puddin's blog and saw that even she has done the questions thing so I'm gonna do it too.

Ask-a-fuckin' way, kiddies.....Ask a way....

Have I ever poked a blogger chick?

Have I ever shown a chick that I was poking my blizzog?

Is Steve a tiny little nigga?

Who is Steve (That is for the new readers like Sheletha)?

Why call Steve Steve?

Do I dislike white people?

Hollar atchur boy

Thanks Everyone For the Happy Birthday Wishes

2008-03-05T13:23:00.003-05:00

See....I'm not ungreatful. I'm just a lazy procrastinaor.

I really did appreciate all the "Happy B-day!" stuff. It all really helped to make my day great.

It was great....even though neither Chocl8t nor Kiki (or even Baby Kiki Wallace) sent me a pic of their booties.

Matter of fact, no one sent me pictures of booties. I did get a couple of titty pics, but nooo booty pics. Not even from a glow in the dark negress that posted a pic of herself droppin a dime on the toilet (Ms. Puddin) .

Y'all are great....I don't care what anyone *cough*Slaus*cough* might say about y'all via personal corporate e-mails with trumped up fancy signatures touting positions like engineer of this and that and account manager of this.

I started this out feeling all nice and happy then blogger fucked up and I had to re-write and then the mood got a lil darker. And then since I started shouting people out I figured I would take this oppurtunity to say that I want to punch Don in his eye...maybe choke that man out or something.....catch him with the pointy part of my elbow right over his left eye. No hard feelin's homey....I just think maybe we should get into a fight or something. You are kinda like my antithesis...ol' poem writing negro. You prolly read the newspaper too......

Mr. Pickles

I'm gettin' old

2008-03-05T09:14:00.003-05:00

Yeah, I'm going through another period of realizing that I am aging.

So, yeah, Tuesday night I worked it oooouuuut with ol' girl. And now, a week later, a nigga is rocking a knee brace (Robo Knee). Been puttin' that sumbitch on since Friday. Hollared at my boy Big Chris about it Friday night, tombout some "Dog, I gotta start wearing a knee brace to get in some guts.....". And what did I do Saturday night....I got off in them guts again (I had to get her again....she sent flowers to your boy's job. Yes, thats right. I got roses on my b-day and 2 days later I got another bouquet sent to my desk. Haaaaa the chicks in the office were jealous)...without my damn knee brace and that joint started hurting a little more.

How damn old do you have to be to not be able to get up in some guts without hurting yourself?

Okay, not all of the knee pain came from me beatin' that thang from behind a chick that is a little taller than me, causing me to have to use more leg and knee motion (Oh, I have, will, and will continue to get up on my tippy toes if needed for all yall tall girls). The knee irritation has mostly come from the crazy amounts of exercise (cardio) that I have been doing. I guess the sex is just the straw.

But seriously.....I'm gonna be bustin' out buckets nekket with a knee brace, some Tims. and a mullet wig for a few weeks just to make sure my knee heals up. (Gotta be careful with your body....don't want to be forty and can't walk cause I kept on getting guts with out propper support)

the BULLY

My B-Day

2008-02-27T10:47:00.003-05:00

I had a damned good day yesterday, folks. I am still kinda high off of life from yesterday.

The day started off with me having QQ's new profile picture sent to me. Yep, its a torn wifebeater...CLEEEAAAVAGE. Got a bare tittie pic from a fellow blogger. Got a pic of both bare titties from the HSC that have talked about a time or two. A nigga has never been so giddy and geeked to see a picture of some boobages. I been kinda crshing on chick since like 9th or 10th grade. Damn, I'm old. That has been 12-13 years and shit. No one else sent me any tittie pics. I didn't get any booty pics CHOCL8T & KIKI!!! Thanks a lot! Y'all really did drop the ball on the whole show the BULLY your tittie pic thing.

I ended up having heart to heart e-mails with QQ. I was all like "I was glad to see that you didn't show me your aeriolas.....I don't see you as just some hot chick that I want to fugg and then stick my finger in your ass anymore" I the called myself a superfag for saying such things.

Moms got me a pretty fat 9" bracelet with the lifetime warranty, so if that clasp ever breaks they gotta replace that beeeoootttcchh.

Had a good dinner at Red Lobster with the Fam. Desert was at the crib (My Momma's Cheesecake. Real simple (mostly cream cheese and sweetened condensed milk and home made graham cracker crust)

Ended up at a homegirl's place. She had a bouquet of roses for me. She wanted to send them to my job so I could look like the man, but she couldn't remember my company's name.

I then broke said homegirl off with some super fire ass head and some super fire ass STEVE going BALLS DEEP action. She ended up with her voice kinda gone and her back all fucked up.

As she limped to the door to let me out "Damn....I need to take a motrin"

Okay, okaaayy, so I can't take complete AAALLLLL of the credit for her mis-aligned spine. She was in a car accident a few years ago that left her back a little funny. But Steve still would have left the average girl a little wobbly. He's not in top condition, but he is weellll on his way.

HOLLA

-theMuthafuckin BULLY

B-day Tittie Pic Campaign!!

2008-02-25T12:49:00.002-05:00

Soooo, yep, tomorrow is your boy's birthday.

I have come to the conlcusion that it will be totally awesome if chicks sent me pics of their boobies for my birthday. Yes, this idea did come up around 3:45am Saturday night while I was still drunk, but it still seems like a good idea. SSsooooooo, all you fine women out there in the Blogosphere should go ahead and send me some pic's of your boobages for my b-day.

If you don't want to send titty pics, I love me some nice booty shots too, so it be all good. And as much as I prefer to see bare ass titties and bare ass asses I won't mind if they are somewhat covered. So Bra tops, low cut tops, boy shorts, thongs, ass out draws, see through tops, spandex/tights.....any and all of that scandolous shit.

PLEASE SEND ALL PICS OF NEKKIDRY TO PUREDIESEL@GMAIL.COM

-the BULLY 27.0

Brown Likka Nikka

2008-02-23T20:36:00.003-05:00

Ok, off top. Likka is the ebonical version of the word Liqour. I am not talkin about licking the big brown eye. (I know what you were thinking QQ)

Ok, soooo, your boy blew $800 on straight bullshit last Saturday when I was in Tampa.

I am missing my non cuddling, non interested in what I am interested in, non cooking, non sex having, non sexy clothes wearing, non inviting me out to do stuff with ex-girlfriend.

My B-day is in a few days. I think I'm funny....I don't too much care about being dolo on Valentine's day, but it always brings me down when I aint got nuttin to hug and kiss on and be hugged on and kissed on by...other than Ma BULLY. I mean I loves me some Ma BULLY, but having a broad of my own is different. Soooo, yeah, this only compounds my missing of the ex.

Anyway, I never have B-day parties. I have always had ALL of my friends around on the regular, so I did the B-day with the Fam. Weeellll, I hardly have any of my boys around. I do have a few new ones and that shit is great. One of the cats has a girlfriend whose B-day is the day before mine and since she is still in school she has tons of people around to do shit for her b-day and I just piggyback on her shit. Thats what I'm doing tonight....but before I link up I'm going to the Likka Sto' getting me a fifth of Uncle Johnny (Johnny Walker Black Label....get up on that Scotch Whiskey....Bitches), gonna go park my truck out somewhere and me and Uncle Johnny are gonna have a nice long talk and smoke some clove cigarettes. Then I will link up with the crew.

That is gonna be how this Brown Likka Nikka is gonna celebrate his 27 years on this planet.

Holla atchur boy.

_Update_
Yoooo, your boy had a fuckin' great time tonight. Lots of laughs, good amount of dancing and a fair amount of talking kinda vulgar to some good lookin' college chicks and even a good bit of ignoring this chick that I used to always hit on until like quarter to 2.

AAaaannnd, I got a call from a recently single bisexual chick that damn near begged me to come party with her next weekend for B-day. (Her b-day is the day after mine)

Yeaaahhh, get nekkid. Show me you're Aeriolas for my B-day.....send the pics to purediesel@gmail.com

-the BULLY (soon to be the BULLY 27.0)

Just like my Daddy.......naw, I don't think so

2008-02-21T13:32:00.003-05:00

Ma Bully told me a loooonng time ago that I was a cold hearted bastard.

Yeah, she did, and yeah in a lot of circumstances I am.

I don't know if I ever blogged about this before, but I have a hard time empathizing with folks for a lot of things. And if I do empathize it doesn't always mean that I will really give a rats ass. Aaaannnndddd on top of that I get really uncomfortable with the whole expressing of emotions if the emotion isn't pissed, happy, or horny.

Case in point. A co-worker of mine lost his father this past weekend. I feel kinda bad for him, but I haven't said shit to him. Not a "Sorry bout your Pops" or "Are you ok" or none of that shit.
Another co-worker told me about a chick that used to work at the plant in S.C. and how she just died of cancer. I felt pretty bad for about a minute and then I realised that I had just confused her with a chick that I banged out a few times. Then I didn't really care so much anymore.I have to have some sort of bond, and not just a "Oh, oh yeah, I work with that guy" type bond. When my boy's Pop died I actually felt bad and went around come funeral time (I don't actually go to funerals......Hell, I wouldn't go to my own if they didn't lock niggas up in that box).

I guess it all boils down to how I grew up feeling about shit. There was just me, my moms, and my sister. Mom's sweated it out and made it good for me and my sister by herself. Very little interaction from the exteded family. There was just us. So thats how I am now. I have my small circle of family/friends and don't really give a fuck 'bout much else. I know who is there for me and have no need..or real reason to care about much else.

Damn, now that I think about it I'm not the cold hearted bastard that I used to be. I was actually felt bad when Pimp C died. I especially used to not give a fuck when celeberities died. I would be quick to say "I don't give a fuck if Tupac is dead. That nigga don't know me and would care if I died" I really used to not give a fuck. This is how gangsta I used to be. I remember when my Dad's mom died. I was like 2 or 3 yrs old. I didn't like that bitch. I didn't want to go to her funeral. I was 2 and a half and was like "So, I didn't like her anyway" (Real talk....I am not making this shit up)

Damn, I guess I'm not just like my Daddy. That nigga used to just not care. He told my moms, long before they divorced, that if she ever divorced him that he would break all ties with my sister and I. He might have been a cold hearted bastard but atleast that nigga knew how to keep his word. I don't think I could ever do some shit like that. Maybe cause I know what it is like to grow up without a pops, maybe just cause I know doing that shit is wrong......prolly a combination of the 2.

Hola Putos!!

2008-02-16T00:17:00.002-05:00

That was a little espaniol for my homey QQ.

So....Niggas and Bitches....and for you lurkin ass lurkers Bitch ass niggas This is another alcohol induced blizzog from your boy.

So, yeah, I am back down in Tampuh, stayin with my Homie T from Connecticut. She is going in to work tomorrow early as hell for a hot minute, so she went on to bed.

I'm dressed pretty fly, gettin my pre-sip on 'fo I head to this little clizzub.

T is a cool as chick. Maaaaad cool. Last weekend after banging some broad out I sent a text to my boy Bello sayin "I'm just gonna find a broad like T and I'm gonna wifey her up". Yeah, she, is a good chick. She is attractive, kinda tomboyish, but still pretty girlie, Ma Bully digs her and she likes to throw down in the kitchen. The weird thing is that she is my only female friend that i haven't had any sort of sexual type thing with. The only one and I kinda like that. I can kick it with her and not have to worry about sexual tension.....Well, not really.

I used to be alot more sexually attracted to her, but she has gotten a lot skinnier and its kinda like that sexual spark aint there, even though she is still a hot chick and at some glances I kinda get turned on. Like I'll happen to look at her super flat stomach and be like DDDAAAAMMMNNN thats kinda sexy. And then I can't completely talk to her about sexual type stuff without feeling a little weird. Like we got to talking and she told me about this female that we both know and how the female has had a twois with 2 dudes. T said she was kinda jealous.

Now under normal circumstances I would just sujjest myself and one o' my boys, or myself and Who Gives a Fuck. I just kinda played it cool and told her that I didn't see it as that big a deal and that I figured that damn near everychick would do it if offered the oppurtunity (maybe I'm jaded...but hell, I've tag team banged a chick with one of my boys before and known 2 other chicks that I banged that wanted it to happen....whatever)

Anyway, I don't even know why I started this blizzog.....oh, and it somehow came up that she told me that her boobages was 36 D.......damn, maybe I should have started suckin' on 'em immediately.

I kinda like the idea of us being actual platonic friends and me not just having to lie to chicks that I am involved with, but I still kinda wanna bang her out.....freak her like she wouldn't expect as a matter of fact, but....I really wouldn't even feel right doing it.

Ok, lemme get back to my pre-sip so I can DIP to the club, meet a bitch, go back to her place, bang her out and then have a story to tell T in the morning.

-Nuttayballs

Happy Valentine's Day....or Nappy Times Day , thats what I am celibrating.

2008-02-14T13:35:00.003-05:00

SSsooooo, yeah, the BULLY decided to not brush or comb or nothing to his hair today outside of shampooing and spraying it down with oil sheen.

My shit is nappy as hell right now. The kuckaburroes can be each singularly counted.

Maybe I will think to photograph my nappy ass head whenI get home and post so yall can partake in the excitement that is NAPPY Times day.

the BULLY is OHN it!!

2008-02-09T15:44:00.000-05:00

It kinda looks like your boy has a mohawk, doesn't it?

But, yeah, I have the unique distinction of being the first Male Model for www.ohellnawl.wordpress.com. I tried to get 'em to send some them O Hell Nawl drawls...the Hussy ass Heffa Thongs that is, but they didn't think the Blogosphere was ready to be that up close and personal with Steve.

But, yeah, them there negroes be my peoples over there at www.ohellnawl.wordpress.com so go check 'em out. Oh, and you can check their site with links to the drawls and stuff at www.ohellnawl.com. Tell 'em the BULLY sent you and I'll try to parlay this into them giving me some more free shit and drawls and all that there like that there.

Anyway.....I got some news for y'all folks. The new site for TEAM DIESEL is now up. We done started things off with a bang...ha ha. Y'all head on over and check things on out.

-the BULLY aka El Capitan Pinga Loca (The captain of Team Diesel)

Yeeeaaahhhh

2008-02-07T12:08:00.000-05:00

I think I wanna start another blizzog. I wanna make it a place for me to release nothing but that super rawness that seems to bubble up in me when I am working out all hard and stuff. A blog about me working out.....Well, me and my boys working out. We gonna be up in the M-I-Yayo together up on the beach trying to look all diesel and all that there like that there. My boys are all a bunch of gym heads. I be wanting to talk mad shit about my training sessions, but them niggas is in Cali, this country nigga called the BULLY is in South Jawga. Besides....I think it would be fuckin' Hillarious to hear us talking all that shit in print. Just talking shit bout erything....anything. From Cats being Cock Blocks (Captain Cockblock to be exact) and their cock blocking girlfriends (Colonel Clank......she be throwing monkey wrenches in yo shit).

We could talk about Captain Snatch up a Little Asian Broad too.

We gonna have this other cat with us this time. This niggro is a mad funny cat. He is one of them cats that is real extra with the "Hey man, there is a lady around.......Hey yall, lets let these ladies go first.....let me get you ladies some drinks.....I respect you ladies soooo much......I can't believe some one would refer to you ladies as B's....type dudes. But catch that man when aint no women around....AAAnnnndddd let him be on some drink. "Lets go fuck these hos......them tricks aint shit....Nigga I ain't got no girlfriend tonight......Awwww skeet skeet skeet bitches.......trick ass ho ass beee--iiiiiii---eeeooootch!!!

Straight Wildin'.

My friends are all fools.

Anyway....I wanna start another blog for us to start talking shit about our works outs and stuff. C'mon now Big C and E-dot......maybe we will try toget Mr. Triathalon to join in....with his ol' punk ass married self.

-the BULLY (the Captain of Team Diesel)

Gasparilla

2008-02-06T10:35:00.000-05:00

I don't really feel like writing nothin' now, but I guess I will just post some of deez pics (Here you are my dear Eb the Celeb).

So...yeah, this is your boy. 5'9" 260lbs. See, I'm not as big around as I am tall. Got a little gut, chest done kinda fell off, but I'm getttin right. I done posted pics so now their is no turning back. This pic was taken on Jan. 26, exactly a month from my birthday. That is when the next pic will get posted. I think monthly pic/updates will help keep me on the right path. I got a total of 3 days less than 4 months to be right for South Beach.

The shirt says "rub my nuts for good luck" . Sometimes chicks do. I don't know if it brings them good luck , but getting my nuts rubbed is always good for me.

I don't even know why I took the pic with this chick. But..y'all see the cran juice bottle? Yeah, there was a lot of Stoli up in there.

She is sooooo not hot, but her titties were out and she is dressed all goth and stuff and I was drunk (See how closely I am holding that juice bottle.)

Yep....its fun taking pics with random people, especially while wearing a mullet wig.

-the BULLY

Maybe my tolerance is a little high

2008-02-04T12:22:00.000-05:00

So, yeah, I went and met up with my boys Saturday night to watch the UFC fight at Miller's Ale House (Where we watch all of the UFC fights). I got there around 11:15 and left about an hour later. So as we were getting up and I was swallowing the last little bit o' beer that I bought I realized that I had just killed a fuckin' pitcher of beer. And what made it so bad was that your boy was not at all buzzed feeling. Yeah, granted, I ate a meal while I was drinking, but damn. Some other cat that was there was like "That's a little scary". Aaaannnnddd then after that I went to a club and had like 4 more beers and 2 Jager Bombs...got a little buzzed. Now, what is actually scary is that I can't hold a match to the drinking that I used to do when was in college.

Oh my god.

But then again I was found sleeping on the bathroom floor a few times by Ma Bully ...and there was that time she found my passed out on the livingrom sofa.....buckets nekkeid from the waste down.

I hollared at this other chick this weekend (surprise surfuckingprise). I've seen her around a bit (she is part of the group that I used to do the martial arts training with for a hot minute.) She is nuts like my boys that do the martial arts training too. Example: Me and my boy got to talking shit to each other with our pocket knives out (yeah, it happens more often than not) She goes "Oh, everybody got knives out except for me, huh" I say "Yeah, you better grab one of Lil' Man's". She walks over to her boot and pulls out her own knife...with a lavendar handle........and when called out on the pretty little knife she goes "It matches my socks".

She doesn't watch tv, just reads alot. She is part jamaican. Has natural hair. Is pretty afrocentric. Does yoga and talks about focusing Chakras and shit. She works in this Afrocentric Bookstore (Yeah, Big C...you know which bookstore I'm tombout). She could undoubtedly kick my ass/kill me with her bare hands (That martial arts group thing is SICK!!!). She seems like a really interesting person. Oh, did I mention that she is fine as a FUCK!!! She is a chick that I would actually just like to kick it with and kinda get in her head and actually wanna do that more than I want....well want to do that about the same amount as I want to play "Passa el Mano". I'm about 73% sure that I will never even end up doing anything with her at all, I mean telephone call or nothing, but I will try. What I really wanna do is try to go by her job and get her to showaround the bookstore and have her help me pick out my next book to read.

But damn....that shit would be awesome if I did bang her out. I could say I did an Afro-Ninja Chick. And she just so fine. I took a pic of her and I'm thinking bout putting it on here...but then again I don't wan't to be killed by an Afro-Ninja chick that is pissed at me for posting her pic online.

-the BULLY

AAaahhhh

2008-02-01T08:31:00.000-05:00

I just booked my boys' and my.....ok, I don't know the grammatically correct way of saying way of saying this. If you do then kiss my ass. Anyway I just booked our hotel for our trip to South Beach during Memorial day weekend. We gonna spend 4 days down there this year. Checking in Friday, checking out Tuesday. That way we will have a day to just chillax before we bizzounce. Most folks peace out on Monday.

Damn......4 months away.

I'm trying for a different look, and my goal is to maintain it for/through that weekend. Yeah, the BULLY is growin' a little fro....and a beard. I'm gonna be looking straight crazy. Not too bad , though, cuz I am gonna keep my shit taped up. Well...kinda keep it up. I'm looking at every 2 weeks to get an edge up on the hair and bizzeard. Maybe its a little gay, but I'm doing it as a post break up change type thing. Besides......a nigga been wanting to grow out his hair for a while....try to look like ol' boy off CSI:Las Vegas. (Just by the hair....there aint nothing big, short, or dark about that freckle havin' knee grow.)

Ma BULLY says I should do the fade into the fro type thing...I think I'll just rock the tight edge up and let it go.

I aaaaammm sssssooooo glad the weekend his here. I mean, I'm still prolly gonna come up in here for a little tomorrow, but I don't worry about it so muc cause its just me and I can focus on what I need to do and get it done right quick.

I wish Memorial Day Weekend wasn't so damn far from now, but it will help me in my work outs cause it will be a great motivator. I really wanna be the dude without a shirt and actually pull females just off that. I ain't trying to have a six pack or nothing....big boys like me don't get six packs. I'll look damn good with out the kizzeg that I got.

Skeet Skeet Skkeeeeeeeet

I just felt like doing that.

Yeah, I got some pics from my weekend in Tampuh. I gotta figure out how to put pics up on blogger.

Oh, I guess that shit aint so hard to do. Yeah, that's me and I be punchin' the shit outta elephants.

And I am a writer, director, and producer of Turtle Porn.....Snappin' Turtle Porn to be exact.

I think the A-Team Van is Fuckin' Awesome.....but not as awesome as Serena's AAAaaasssssss

they should have never let me find that add picture button.........Its about to get real off da chain in huuurrrr

-the Picture Posting BULLY

Tired

2008-01-23T13:54:00.000-05:00

Yoooooo, its the MuthaFuckin' BULLY here, Folks!!!

We have had GM here at the job today. They were here to check out part from my product line. Pretty important shit. I let my manager handle most of the questions. (This was for my Industrial Engineer Part of my job....and there is STILL SO MUCH THAT I DON'T KNOW ABOUT) . The GM cats got in town last night. We dined them and boosed them. I tried to get 'em done up. I stayed out with them till about 115 in the a.m. boosing it up. It was pretty good times. But between the stress of worrying about the visit and stuff and the late night and drinking has me tired then a mug right now.

A chick caught an epilecic seizure during one of meetings and straight fell the hell out. It was pretty scary, but she was fine. Like 45 minutes later she was super straight.

But, ummmmm, yeah.....I should have a couple of stories to tell after this weekend. I'm going down to Tampa for Gasparilla. (YYYYEEEAAHHH, THAT'S RIGHT!!! THE BULLY IS GONNA BE JOOKIN IN TAMPA. IF YOU GONNA BE THERE HOLLAR ATCHUR BOY!!! Q, u should get your boyfriend to fly you up and y'all come party too. Its gonna be bannanas and chicks gonna be shoing titties and folk is gonna be dressed like pirates. It's gonna be grrrrrrrreat)

Yeah, Gasparilla is Tampa's version of Mardi Gras. I'm linking up with my purely platonic homegirl , T From Connecticut (Spelling?). We always have a ton of fun together (Yeah, seriously though....never even seen a titty....and yes, she is quite fine. Very quite fine. Would I smash???? Sure would..well maybe not. I just got a really wierd awkward feeling just from thinking about it). We gonna be on that DDDRRRAAAAAANNNKKKKK. My Boy BELL-O is gonna be coming up, and there qre gonna be a few other friend round that piece...up in that piece.

But, yeah, I'm a bit geeked.

Titties and pirates and draaaaannnnkkk...Oh my!!!

-Nuttayballs

That good shit

2008-01-21T13:01:00.000-05:00

So....yeah, your boy has been single for a couple days more than a week....and Saturday morning as I was laying there but booty bucky ball ass nekkid and bullshittin wit my homegirl, laughing and joking and shit I realized what the hell I had been missing out on.

Yes that was a long ass ill constructed run-on sentence.....BLOW ME!!

Sex is always fun, but being able to lay around completely nekkid and just shoot the shit is just plain out great...its that ol' good shit. Nice and simple and un-adulterated.

Sweet tea is that good shit, too. A nigga loves himself some good sweet tea. Hell, down here in the real ass south everyone loves that sweet tea. You know why we love it.......we love it cause its that good shit.

I know y'all Yankees prolly don't or cant understand it cause your brains are all yankeefied. Oh well. (And yeah, in the country down here in the south Yall northeners are still called Yankees and it is not a term of endearment either)

Fast cars are great. My car, the Fantastic Max, is pretty fast....its a pretty great car. No, its not the fastest, but I can still get 25 mpg while doing 85ish on the highway.

Big booty girls.....I love y'all. Yep....I do.

Chicks from the Islands...with that accent......The only person that might love y'all more than me is Steve. Bomboclot...buck buck buck....Lawdamercy......SHABBA!!! I be like "Yeeeaaahhh girl, speak that Jamaican to me!!"

Chicks that call other bitches bitches. I think its fun and funny. (Yeah, the BULLY loosely uses the word Bitch when referring to women, not all women, but the ones that are bitches. I don't do it on here cause I think mostly all the people that read her are women and I don't want to unintentionally offend anyone. See.....I actually do appreciate all yall charming Negresses that frequent the ol' blizzog)

Visits to the porno/sex toy stores just to bullshit around with someone that you a banging out are always some good shit. I have had some of my most passionate sex and kisses in the parking lot of a damn sex shop.

Ma BULLY is the shit. Real Talk.

My friends are the shit. I mean my real real friends. The cats that have actually met Ma BULLY. Shiiiiittttt, the BULLY has friends that sometimes get calls from or call Ma BULLY just to talk a little. The Cats that have actually been invited to the crib and all that. I mean...shit, Big C has his own fuckin' room in the joint. One cat stayed with us for a hot minute and when I would ride out to drink and chase bitches (see, I said it) he stayed in the crib eatin grapes with Ma BULLY......eating the grapes out of Ma BULLY's bowl.

Sexy, seductive ass chicks. I don't mean the broads that just half dress with the titties and the booties all out and stuff. I'm tombout the plain ol' classy just oozing sensuality can't not be sexy if they tried type chicks. Make me wanna get all up in them guts while they are wearing sweats type chicks.

I was gonna write more, but I have lost all types of a train of thought. Lemme get back to work.

Massa say he don't care nothin bout no MLK birthday.

-the BULLY

Well.......

2008-01-12T04:08:00.000-05:00

Your boy is now single.

Figured it would feel better than this.

I know I did the right thing. I been breaking myself for a long time to try and make this work. Sacrificing for a good thing, but I got such a shock tonight.

I feel like a big asshole. Found out she was a virgin and 30 minutes later I break up with her. She was talkin maybe another three months before we got down and prolly not till marriage till we really got serious with the love makin'.

I really do feel bad. Bad for me. Really bad for her.

But in all reality....I'm not really all that happy in the relationship. I don't feel special. I guess she just isn't the type of chick to make a nigga feel special.

I hollared at my boys E-dot, Big C, and young Billiam. Them cats, especially E-dot and Big C, know how I been sacrificing to try to make this work. Hell..E-dot's girlfriend, Black Ho, was all like "WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!" when she found out I was still with chick and hadn't poked.

Big C and E-dot was like "Naw man...you deserve a chick that makes you feel special" I know they are right. I just wish I didn't feel so damn bad about doing what I know is right for me.
(They told me that I better shout 'em out. But them niggas is my muthafuggin niggas. My choosen family.)

-the single ass BULLY

p.s.:Chocl8t...since a nigga is single are you gonna shoot your boy that address? We can work a couple things out right quick.

Sometimes.........

2008-01-11T12:30:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I feel this way.

I watched this movie last night. A damn good movie. 3:10 to Yuma. It was an ol' shoot 'em up western type movie. Christian Bale, Russel Crow, and this other skinny little white dude that plays a certain type of derranged bad ass that I can't help but like a lot. (He played the brother of the kid that got killed in "Alpha Dog"....and I have seen him in something else, and same type of role.)

ANyway......Sometimes I feel this way and seeing that movie has only helped me to feel this way....again. I get all stressed out with life and shit andI just wanna get away. Get away to much simpler existence. Like in western times. Back then all a nigga needed was a horse, the clothes on his back, a bad ass hat and a gun or two. Ride out on horse. Shoot yourself a little dinner. Be a bad ass and all that shit. Run into town and run off in a couple broads if you feel like it...and you could raw dog bout all you wanted cause you aint too much have to worry bout catchin shit.

But shiiiiiiittttt. Let me get a fuckin horse.....and start rollin round with a big ass fuckin gun hanging over the side of the sumbitch and then be running up in broads' guts all raw and shit. Nigga life would not last too much longer and it would really fucking suck the little bit of time that it would last.

Maybe I should quit my job and just train all crazy and get into fighting. I got enough pent (pinned) up anger an' frustration and all that shit to last me a fuckin while.

FFFuuuuuuuuccccckkkk!!!!!!!!

I got all pissed earlier today cause I found out that this kid did some work for my machines and didn't even let me know. I got a call from a dude at Technical HQ asking me about shit on my machines and I don't know what the fuck is going on. I'm not really all the mad that he actually did it, but I'm mad about not even being included in the fucking loop. Why am I not in the fucking loop? I'm not in the fucking loop cause I stay busy with this fuckin' other position shit that they got me doing. 50/50 my fuckin' ass.

Yep.....I see me being all pissy all fucking weekend with my non-fuicking girlfriend (read she doesn't fuck me). .......I've been thinking about not trying to fuck her cause I might end up breaking up with her.......but fuck that. I think I am gonna go ahead and fuck her and if I break up with her than so fucking be it.

I mean shiiiiiiiitttt. Ma BULLY tells me I am a hot commodity......so damn it.....I'm gonna start back acting like it wether I am treated like it or not.

FFFFUUUUCCCKCKKK AAAALLLLLLL THHHAAATTT!!!

I already got a couple guns.......Y'all know where a nigga can buy a horse?

-BULLISSIMO

Das But

2008-01-08T13:52:00.000-05:00

I love booties. I can't help but look.....better make that STARE at booties. I have always liked holding the top of females' pants when I walk with them instead of holding hands cause I am touching the booty.

I just like booties and sometimes I feel like women not only know it, but are always trying to use it to their advantage over me. For real cause sometimes y'all just be standing there posing for no damn reason other than to fuck with me. That one stance....the one when you tilt your hips and stand with one leg straight and the other one is kinda slanted out and then you put your hand on the hip of the straight leg and kinda lean to that side to...........Yeah, that shit right there kinda makes Steve swell up with joy. And it don't matter if you in some ol' kackis, or little tight skirt or Church Dress (......yeah, like I'm the only nigga here that looks at yall fine ass women that be wearing shit that you know you got no damn business wearing in Church).

I think thats why I am so being stupid and stayig with my girl cause her booty is DUMB. She got one of them ol' big nice round bassetball booties. I'm tombout that joint has a crease where it meets the thighs AND WHERE IT MEETS HER BACK. She has one of them booties that when she puts on jeans they don't just show some ass crack at the top, she straight has BOOTY out the top of them joints. Its BANANAS!!

So, yeah, still with her. I gave her another one of my we are breaking up talks (it was like #3 or 4), but then we talked it out. She says she just does not know what to do in a relationship, or how to do it. She blames it on her super sheltered life (which she did have). She pointed out the fact that she is trying and has been getting better. She has been getting better. She has still been fucking up on stuff still too. That shit is real hard for me believe that a 27 yr old chick does not know how to act in a damn relationship but it would explain why she does the dumb shit that she does.

Sooooo I'm giving her another chance.

Question, though.....Have any of y'all ever gone for a year, or close to, with out jumpin' on any penises? How hard would you expect it to be to start back up on that thing thing? Like actually getting a penis back in you for the first time? I mean cause Steve is wondering?

WWwooowwwww......In the year 2008: Predictions by the Muthafuggin BULLY

2008-01-07T12:26:00.001-05:00

So, yeah, these is gonna be my predictions of things to come in the Year 2008......I mean.....DAMN, if a Negroid name some muthafuggin Barrack Obama can win a caucus in muthafuggin lilly white as hell fuggin non professional sports team having ass, 99.53% white state ass Iowa (or whatever white state it was) then some of this shit I'm bout to say has to have a good chance of coming true.

Let the predictions begin......

1) The number of black women daing white men will sky rocket. When asked why go white the average black woman will respond "For that donkey kong......."

2) Although Bill Clinton will always be regarded as the first "black" President and will be loved for the great things that he has done, the younger "Rap" generation will begin to hold George W. in high regard for being the first "Maaadddd Niggerish" President. (Think about that shit....he got the job on a hook up, did a shitty ass job punked out a few small countries, lied to us all and only used his position to help put money in the pockets of him and his boys Cheney 'nem)

3) Gas will hit $17.37 a gallon and everyone goes back to riding horses and shit......except for the really cool guys, rappers, and dope boys....they ride Yaks.

4) The BULLY will actually go out on a legitimate date with a white girl and then take her over to his Momma's house for Sweet Potato Pie and a couple of episodes of Martin.

5) Sean Wayons will NOT act all gay in a movie....actually showing that he CAN be more than just himself in movies.

6) Slaus 'nem will make me, the Muthafuggin BULLY, an official staff member of O Hell Nawl (http://www.ohellnawl.wordpress.com/).

7) The BULLY and CHocl8t ( http://thechocl8tdiaries.wordpress.com/ ) party out one Night in Atl at that night club called Opera House, sneak off to a dark corner, and do a little bit of something that shouldnt be done a) in public and b) in a building that used to be a church

8) Steve's status will be upgraded from extra large medium to just extra large (after a few months of experimenting with Extenze)

9) Hillary Clinton will be elected President and at the end on inaugeration ol' Slick Willy will jump out and be like "Gotcha' bitches....I'm back!!!!"

10) My Dear sweet, damn near virginal friend Shug (http://www.shugaorspice.blogspot.com/) will become a super freak and will far surpass Q in her Kinkery, while Q becomes the nice homely latina version of Martha Stewart (We'll call her Conswello Stewart) after she maries her "friend" J.

Shiiiiiiitttttt, I'm Tired. All I did this weekend was shit about a pools worth of brown water. The dehydration is really fucking me up right about now.

Holla at your boy.

-the BULLY

Awwww Maannnnn

2008-01-02T12:18:00.000-05:00

So......yeah, the Muthafuggin BULLY is back. And I'm alive. I didn't get struck down by lightning or naythan like that there. I onno where to even start, what to tell, what not to tell.....

So I spent last weekend and New Years with the Girlfriend's Fam. (Yeah, I am still with her......my concerns of her having some other shit type something not right type shit are still sorta there, but they are dwindling. I am realizing that really is just overly concerned about how and she is percieved as. I do know that she is not being completely straight up with me (this was confirmed during an argument that started while we were in a nightclub), I just don't know what for?)

Anyway, chicks Fam is mad religious. Her Pops is a preacher and I went to his church........Naw, Fuck all that story. I'm gonna get into the argument story.

So we are in this cool ass night club on the 31st floor of a building that sits right on the River in Downtown NOLA. Spot was straight fly.

We get in the spot and start chillin and DAMN!!!! This story is starting to seem way more fucked up now that I think about it with a sober mind.....anyway.....My girl has always told me she doesn't dance and when she does its like a goofy ass white chick. So we get in there and they start dancin' (Her and her homegirl that we picked up). She says something about me dancing and about me sittin down and shit. I told her I didn't feel like dancin. I was chillin. (Shiiiiitttt, youir boy was trying to cool out and let that Crown kick in). So after a while she tells me I should dance with her homegirl since she liked to dance and since I liked to go out to night clubs and dance.

THE MUTHAFUCKIN BULLY DOES NOT WANT TO GO TO A NIGHTCLUB WITH HIS GIRL AND THEN DANCE WITH SOME OTHER CHICK. THAT STRAIGHT BULLSHIT AND HAD I STARTED ON THAT SHIT I WOULD HAVE TRIED MY BEST TO HAVE ENDED THE NIGHT FUCKING CHICK THAT WAS DANCING WITH JUST OUT OF SPITE.

Anyway...eventually I feel like getting a little bit of lite bump and grind action. Nothing nasty just a little bit o' Steve to thigh/booty action of a nice little 2-step........Did that happen? HELL NO!!

Yep, I couldn't have physical contact with my girlfriend while dancing at a nightclub. Your boy got HOT. Her argument was "I'm not gonna be out her dancing all nasty looking like a ho bending over and shaking my ass all over the place." Shit...she knew better than y'all that is not what I was trying to make happen.

We left shortly there after.

We end up back at her parents place. Where we continue the argument. I'm trying to figure things out.

BULLY: I just don't understand how you would not want to have any physical contact while dancing with your b-friend......Have you never had physical contact while dancing with a b-friend?

G-friend: I don't remember.

BULLY: WHAT? Out of all your longterm relationships, like how you with ol' boy before me for like a year and a half. You can't remember if you ever danced with him. I am not going to believe that.

after like 5 minutes of arguing and her denying that ol' boy before me were even serious (Lie)

G-friend:Ok, maybe back in college.....

BULLY:blah blah blah....You knew that you had done it before and you just sat there and lied to me.

Then things kinda blurr out to a drunken haze. I remember stumbling into the room where her brother was, and then finding my way to my room and going to sleep.

Anyway, 2 nights later (all out on Bourbon Street Right after New Years), with less alcohol in her system we are all tongue kissing and all that out in front of everyone.

Where was the extra overly extreme modesty from 2 nights before?

She either realized how fuckin' wrong she was or There was someone and someones in the club that night that she did not want to be seen by while being intimate with another dude.

All this, and she is constantly telling me how much she loves me.

-the BULLY

Damn.......

2007-12-26T11:18:00.000-05:00

Sooooo, yeah, the BULLY is at work.

the BULLY does not feel like doing a damn.

the BULLY really isn't going to do a damn.

the BULLY is gonna take a long lunch break.

the BULLY came in late.

the BULLY is gonna leave early.

They should have never made the BULLY a salaried associate.

-the BULLY

YYyyyoooooo

2007-12-24T15:59:00.000-05:00

The BULLY is feeling pretty damn good. No work....no girlfriend. Sooooo your boy has been sleeping. SLEEPING LONG AND GOOD. Another day or so of this and your boy will be back to feeling like the RAGING BEAST that he was born to be.

Damn...I gotta get my sleeping thing back on trizzack. I feel ssooooo much better with the proper amounts of sleep.

So...Ive been looking at all these cocky ass dudes on t.v. and all that shit and I am starting to want to look like them. Not wanting to look like a younger BULLY, but like them niggas on tv. Maybe I will stick to the plan and actually get serious about training and diet and running and all that shit. And actually....it really just revolves around me getting the right amount of sleep so I feel like getting up to run and shit in the mornings and all that.

I'm thinking about actually making a pledge/promise to get on my training real serious like and to post a pic on here of me all shirtless and slathered with baby oil......I'll let y'all know my decision shortly after the first. Oh, NO...I'm not gonna let Steve be in the pic, so don't even ask.....well Chocl8t and Q don't have to ask......Ok, Q might have to ask...I'll be willing to work out a trade. A pic of Steve for a pic of Hood Ornament.

Anyway...gotta run out and get to washin and waxin my fly ass car. I'm drivin to meet the G-friends fam this weekend and Ma BULLY thinks I should show up with a nice freshly waxed rizzide. Yep....Ma BULLY is the TROOF!!

-Your Boy....the Muthafuckin' BULLY

Real thoughts.....Kinda Random

2007-12-11T13:24:00.000-05:00

Ssooooo, yeah, I just put on some Cherry Flavored Carmex. Yeah, that’s muthafuggin right. The BULLY uses fruity flavored ass lip chap. I like it because I like to taste nice and fruity stuff on my lips.

BLOW ME if you don’t like it.

Anyway, YEAH, Cherry Flavored Carmex is a muthafuckin’ lie. That shit don’t taste like no type of Cherry nothing, but it does smell all god like some sort of flavor of Koo Aid. Kool Aid mixed with Carmex and it tastes like they put extra amounts of what ever the hell it is that they put in carmex that makes your lips tingle. Blech!

But Yeah, so I opened it up and smelled the Carmex and thought back to THE EX and her big beautiful super kissable Jamaican lips. She always used Carmex. The sent just took me back to kissing her and them lips for a minute. Y’all ever kissed a Mofugga with little lips? Well, I know Q has cause she digs caucuzoids just as much as negroids. I have kissed some little lipped chicks before and it sucked. Felt like I was getting pecked by a chicken all up in my face. It sucked.

Back to the scent thing. I messed with this stout little thang for about 6 months while I was in Texas. Little short thang…big titties and fat round booty, but the face was….yeah..I don’t wanna talk about it. But she lovedid to suck your boy up. I never went down on ol’ girl, but she started out e’ry session with some official dome (Yeah, what ever. So what if I didn’t go down. The dick I was slanging to her was the truth. Steve was in rare form with her and I worked off the Nut Deficit approach. As long as she owed me nuts (I kept her coming more than me) I didn’t need to go down. And besides…she just plain out LOVED doing it. Type of chick I gotta marry) Anyway….I always hit Steve up with the same cologne, Zirh, so it got to the point that anytime she smelled my cologne she wanted to gobble some Kack.

Maannnn, I gotta move out of this little town and back to a city. They don’t make freaks like this in small towns. I would go over, get tired of hearing her talk and then just get nekket and touch myself til shit started. I miss it. Chick did one of the craziest things I have ever experienced to this day and that was during one of my “I’m just gonna get nekket” times. Her mom’s called and she started talking and ended up sucking on Steve while talking to her mom. Gotta love 30 yr olds.

Ok, lets talk about bitch as dudes. In particular, lets talk about bitch ass dudes that play..PLAYED on my flag football team. We have had 2 bitch ass dudes quit. One dude got mad cause he didn’t get the ball enough which meant “They not respecting my abilities.” Punk bitch peaked at high school. Fuck him.

Another bitch ass dude up and quit during our game last night. DURING THE FUCKIN’ GAME. Through off his flags and walked the hell off. We were losing, he got pissed and left. I wish I knew what it was about YMCA league Flag Football that brought the bitch out of grown men, but if I did I would so bottle, weaponize, and sell the shit out of it. Bitch asses done left us with JUST enough people to have on the field. Hope no one gets sick.

Pussies.

-the Muthafuckin’ BULLY

What the hell........

2007-12-06T07:17:00.000-05:00

Ionno where to even start.......

She decided that we needed to take a break from each other for 2 weeks. Why, you ask.....I'll tell you why.

She wants the break because of the issues that I bring up about her. She wants a break because of her issues. So this all happened Sat. night while we were finishing the dinner that I made for us. (Yeah....your boy even threw down on some homemade Peach Cobbler for dessert and I had the whip cream on tap)

Soooooo on Sunday we talk. She tells me that she is just not used to being in a relationship. She is not used to compromising anything, not used to thinking about other people and all that crap. She has let that “I’m an independent woman” crap mess her up in the head. She says she doesn’t want to lose me and doesn’t have any real issues with me. Its just her struggling with the thinking of someone else. AAAAnnndddd I really do think she likes doing stuff, like this imposed break, that puts her completely in control of the situation.

Seems like she really doesn’t wanna be in a relationship with me.

She tells me she loves me. Gets upset that I won’t come and spend the holidays with her and her family. All that type of crap, but when it comes down to the little stuff that is crucial to a relationship, like intimacy (I’m tombout the cuddling and stuff….not even really worried about sex) it really seems like she doesn’t want to be bothered. If I don’t invite her out to do something then we don’t do anything. If her friends call her up to go do something she does…..but the BULLY never gets invited along. I say if, but If I don’t make actual plans then she WILL end up doing something with other folks and then be like, “Well, you said you didn’t want to do anything.”

And sometimes she squeezes stuff in right before my plans. Like this past weekend I tell her at 2:00pm that I want get dinner at 7. She says ok. She asks where we are gonna go, and I tell her its gonna be a surprise (I was actually surprising her with me cooking). I hear from her at 6 in a text like “I am out with some people at a farm. I am wearing sweats is that ok for dinner”. Who the hell makes plans for dinner at a place you can wear sweats and who the hell is out to some fuckin’ farm when they are supposed to be getting ready for dinner.

When I get up with her and ask what was going on at the farm she tells me “Oh, there were just a bunch of couples out there hanging out….”
“Why did you go by yourself if it was a couples thing?”
“Oh…….well I was supposed to be babysitting for some of the people and then they just decided to invite me out. There were other people there too. More than just the couples. Single people.”

That whole story just did not and still does not sound right.

Damn…as I am reading this my girlfriend is actually kinda seeming like a bitch.

I think that is all types of fucked up. If I get invited to something….the first thing I ask is if it is cool if the girl comes. She doesn’t even think about me with her stuff.

Soooooo anyway……during this little break of her’s she told me I was “Free”. Free to do what I want with who I want. I told her that wasn’t what I wanted and she still insisted. She just told me that if I did sleep with someone that she would want me to tell her. Said she wouldn’t be mad, disappointed, but she couldn’t get mad cause she pretty much “gave me permission”

Well……I didn’t want to sleep with anyone else, but now it is Thursday morning. She hasn’t been calling, just some texts and I’m pissed. So fuck it. I still don’t want to sleep with anyone else….even if it is a fine ass slim Nigerian chick with natural hair and super duper booty that comes from running and a lot of lunges in the gym. An ol’ pretty feisty dark skin thang……but I might try just on principle.

Honestly though….I don’t want to do it. But....if she is gonna try me like that.........

We’ll see what the weekend and alcohol consumption brings.

-the BULLY

SSshhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttt

2007-11-16T13:42:00.000-05:00

Maaaannnnn, I thinks I am getting a little burned out….or just tired of working and all that. Maybe I am just tired of being at the same damn job for the past year. I’ve never worked in the same place for more than a year. I know….I know…I am damn near 27. I should have been held down a job for more than a year, but I haven’t. BLOW ME!!

I’ve been working for this company for 15 months now. I’ve been in this one office for 10 of those months. I don’t know if it is because I am doing work that I don’t really like/want to do or what, but I am just not as happy as I used to be when it comes to the whole job thing. It has been with in the last few weeks where I have been having that “I really don’t want to go in to work” feeling. I heard, today, that the supervisor of our machine shop is interviewing for another position at a different plant. Some of the guys in the machine shop were joking around wondering what kind of Boss would I be (as in if I were to be the guy to take their boss’s position if he got the new spot) Now….I’ve been saying, for the longest, that that supervising people shit was for the birds……But the slim chance possibility of me being the Machine Shop supervisor actually sounds kinda good to me. (I highly doubt that IF he leaves that they would even consider me for the position…..but if they did, you know your boy would have to HAVE TO try to parlay that into more vacay time and more LLlllloooooooooottttt and that’s always good with me.

Random thought section:

I haven't stuck my thumb in a girls ass in sssssoooooo long. I think the girlfriend might just get turned out.

That shit would be super great if she turned me out.

There is this older chick that works at my plant and she is in a relationship with a white dude at my plant. She is like 36-38 and COULD GET IT. Sometimes I still have to talk to her as if we weren't at work and flirt my ass off with her and then tell her that is man is afraid of me.

She walks all tight and shit so I know he aint hittin it right.

If I see a chick walking all tight legged and shit I honestly beleive that means she aint getting that dick dog thrown at her right. Prolly means she needs this coon rightchere to knock that thang out.

BOOTY MEAT

I would love to get it on with Qucifer's freaky ass. Not cause I want to get with her....but because I wanna fuck her. Some of that good ol' cursing sweating titty slappin (slappin the booty is so cliche') 2 round type shit and then leave and go home and get that good sleep and not talk to her for like 5 days. You know....that good shit.

A nigga so does not feel like going to this muthafuckin meeting at muthafuckin 215 this muthafuckin afternoon......

lemme go get my shit together since I called this motherfucker.

-the muthahfuckin' BULLY

Aint this a bitch.........

2007-11-06T13:50:00.000-05:00

How do muthafuckas at my job know when I actually have my shit together and I am actually ready to conduct my meeting and actually know what the hell I'm talking about and then NOT show the fuck up.....................All the other times when I was about to fall asleep (in my own meeting mind you), have incorrect info written on the agenda, not be able to answer the same question that has been asked for the past 3 weeks in a row and then try to push the questions onto my tech.

Ok, I just read some of Kiki's muthafuckin blog and I read the entry about her being a flirt and that dudes....well everyone should be completely honest and open and up front about their wants, needs and expectations all early on and all that. I think that it is smart shit, but how are you supposed to do that shit when your desires and motives are so damn far what others would think to be true that it don't make no sense.

Really......I mean...what would I look like telling my chick I want to just sleep over with her and spoon and shit. She is gonna think 2 things. 1)She is gonna think I am trying to get in them draws and 2) She is gonna think that I think she is stupid. Neither of which s a good thing.

Naw.....here is what is crazy. How am I kicking it with a chick that I call girlfriend (it easy doing that shit....) and I have never slept over to her place. Never laid in the bed with her. Ok...ok, ok....I think I should carry a decent part of the blame for that. We were making out one night a few weeks ago and started getting kinda hot and heavy and she goes "Come see how comfy my bed is" (it was the bed in a guestroom right next to where we were standing). Ok to be honest I didn't feel right about sexing her up right then and there just like that.....I kinda want it to be special......

WHAT THE FUCK???????

Did I really just say that. I might need to go somewhere, put in JT Money's first Album and some old UGK and let it marinade for a minute.

Anyway, I really wasn't trying to just jump all up in them guts, but I felt like I had to take that oppurtunity cause I did not want to leave her feeling all insulted and dejected by me not taking the seemingly offered up koose. I prolly should not have even tried since neither my heart (who actually kinda had Steve to co-sign). I wasn't smooth, went for it too quick instead of taking my time thoroughly heating things up before I even undressed her. Took her top off, took my shirt off, went to get her pants and she was like "I'm not ready for all that."

Never has your boy ever been so relieved to have a chick make me STOP from getting at the guts.

Anyway, I think that might be maybe keeping her from wanting to take the risk of inviting me into nan bed with her. But honestly...eventhough it turned out awkward I would do it again. I'd much have her think that approach sex like a 15 year old than have her thinking that I don't find her attractive enough to try to pounce on.

-the BULLY

Growers and Showers

2007-11-02T14:02:00.000-04:00

This comes from a kinda pretty damn uncomfortable momment with one of my best buds one time.

BULLY:...Ol' girls is kinda cute
Ol' Boy: Yeah, man, I think she is feeling you
BULLY: Word.....I though she was kinda feeling you
Ol' Boy: Yeah... well, been there and done that
BULLY: Well, I don't know....I aint trying to run all up in there and mess around and be the smaller of the two.
BULLY: DAMN!!!.....Shiiiiittttt, Ioneevencare
Ol' Boy: You're bigger
BULLY:............What, naw...don't buy into the hype...I'm average
Ol' Boy: Naw, really.....I'm a shower. They see it and they think its gonna be really big, but what they see is what they get.
BULLY:DAMN!!!! Your boy is grower fa shooooo

Anyway...Yeah, Steve is a grower. That nigga be looking younger than a mofo most of the time, get that man excited and watch him grizzow. Sometimes he grows with my heartrate. Its pretty cool. You can actually watch it get bigger incrimentally with each bu-bump of my heart.

The nigga grows till I had an ex singing about it "Plumps when you suck it" (You know, like the hotdog commercials...Plumps when you cook 'em).

So my whole point in this ladies.....LADIES....notice that I said LADIES. (Coco.....don't be bringing your man on man stories up in here) Please tell me your opinions and preferences on Growers and Showers. I'm Curious.

Even Shug's cute lil GOD fearin' ass better chime in. Yeah....her and AMboogie.

-the Pickle

Aight....

2007-10-30T14:51:00.000-04:00

The story really isn't all that good.

So I ended up linking up with this chick this weekend. I talked about her a whole bunch before. She is the chick that was my ex-homeboy's ex-fiance. I smashed last summer and then got all pissy cause she left without me getting a chance t smash again....and then she kinda flaked out a few times when we were supposed to meet up.

Yeah, so she was in town this weekend, up from souf flawda (down Q's way.....thats right, Ft. Liquordale....aka Ft. Lickherthere). I met up with her and her sis for a quick bite, and went back to the sis's spot for a quick shower and pre-sip. Thats when ol' girls gets to flirting. Smackin' a Big Nigga Called The BULLY (Yes, thank-you, you must say it all.....) all on the ass....trying to sneak a pat on Steve.

Now I'm thinking about how she has told me that she we weren't gonna fuck again and all that shit plenty of times before, so I tells chick to stop playing. I tells her a bunch. Anyway, we get in the car (Just me and her...the sis didn't feel like going out). She is all looking at your boy with the googly eyes. I tells her to "Cut it out......Stop playing".....she didn't.

So anyway I'm all like don't do it. Don't kiss her. You have a nice fine wholsome chick that you are talking to. You don't even want to go around doing stuff with some other chick.

Anyway....time goes on. Moves get bolder. Temptation gets stronger. ButI keep fighting and winning. Even told her to stop sucking on Steve. (Yeah...your boy was strong enough to stop road head).

So we end up at a house party. And I end up hollaring at my boy for moral support. He was like "Dog....don't do it!"
"Aight man.......aight!! We gonna leave this party, I'm gonna stop her by X-mart so she can get herself a new toy, and then I'm droppin her but off."
"Dog......you gonna fuck if you go by X-mart. Don't do it."
"Naw man....I'm gonna be strong....I'm straight"

So we end up in the parking lot at X-mart.

Some how Steve ends up in her mouth again.

Some how titties end up in my mouth.

Some how my mouth ends up somewhere else....somewhere that was nice and shaved up.

For some reason there was a frantic search for something in a gold wrapper.

And some how random folks saw bare ass bouncing on Steve in the driver's seat of the car.

Then, for whatever reason, I ended up in X-mart feeling like everyone had just seen me having crazy, nasty, ravenous sex that included both trash and dirty talking.

I ended up completely amazed at someone's ability to straddle someone in the front seat of a car like that.

-A Big Nigga Name The BULLY

No Details.....

2007-10-28T22:48:00.000-04:00

Ok.

Hot sexy crazy sex in the front seat of the car in the parking lot of a sex/porn shop.

-NuttayBalls

……What…I’m your WHAT friend??????

2007-10-11T09:01:00.000-04:00

Sooooo, yeah, I called up the Baller the other night and told her that I wasn’t gonna talk to any other chicks..and that I just wanted to get to know her. (I told her before we ever went out that I was doing the casual dating thing. She told me that she didn’t get envolved in stuff like that cause she gives her all in relationships and doesn’t want a portion given in return) She asked me last week if I had made a decision to just try and get to know her, and I told her I was about 75% sure that was what I wanted, but there was still that 25% that wanted to still hang out with other folk (females). I aint gonna lie…..I was kinda holding out to see if I could get in the HSC’s guts right quick before I tried to settle down for a minute, but between her baby daddy (read: still un-divorced and refusing to sign the papers husband) drama, her mama trying to control her life drama (yeah, she is living back in the house with moms, her little girl, her older sister, a cousin, and I think an uncle), and then still having to deal with her kid (her kid is kinda punking her cause she feels guilty about breaking up with her daddy) and all that crap. She is a flake. I can understand why, but she is a fuckin’ flake. And I don’t want to be fucking around on some maybe ass, when I could maybe have a relationship and all that.

Anyway……I told her I just wanted to talk to her and no one else and now I think she is referring to me as boyfriend.

I told her that I wanted to get to know her and now I am afraid that I am gonna get in trouble for introducing her as “the Baller” and not “This is my girlfriend, the Baller”. I think I have really become afraid of relationships. Not all of them, but the ones that involve the really nice good girls that I could see a possible future with. I don’t mind linking up with chicks that I mostly wanna just bust out or whatever cause I know it aint gonna last long. I always kinda felt like me and the model chick weren’t gonna really be together long cause there was a lot about her and her ghetto/hood ass family that I did not like and stuff like that, so I had no problem kickin it with her. But this chick here seems all to the good. That scares me cause I get to thinking about not being able to make decisions by myself and stuff. Like…if I end up going after another job one day and have to move….I just can’t do that. I have to see how she would feel about making that move and wait for her to find a job too, or do the long distance thing for a while and all that crap.

But, if I am kicking it with her, and no one else and no intentions of trying to talk to anyone else…..then I guess that does mean we are in……..OH….MY…GOD. I just realized what I was about to type. I was about to say a commited relationship. That shit scares the hell out of me. All these what ifs keep flying through my head. Like…What if the HSC can get free for a minute and wants to come up to the spot and let them big ol’ 32 D’s get loose in my face. Or what if that fine ass mid 30’s chick from the gym wants me to get up in them guts. Or what about my old cut buddy that said I can “anything I want” to her…..a nigga might feel like poking her in the pooper and skeetin’ in her eye…..or just some other ol nasty, not appropriate for the mainstay type stuff.

The baler doesn’t have no D boobies….but she does kill them all, hands down in the below the waist region. Seeing her in them tights that she wears during her spinning class is what made….no, forced me to holler at her. Chick is bad. And she is really really super duper nice and sweet. I can trade medium large Bs and bangin legs and thighs for Ds and no real booty and skinny little chicken legs.

Randomness that is a happy BULLY

2007-10-05T13:44:00.000-04:00

So, as I have said before, I don’t blog much when I am happy and I am not dealing with a bunch of buulllllshit in my life. Shit has been happening here and there nothing all that major. Nothing I can really make a whole blizzzog entry off of, so I will do the random entry shit.

This fuckin’ Industrial Engineering position is kinda getting me. But I like the jizzob, so I don’t mind too much. Matter of fact I plan on coming in tomorrow (Yeah, Saturday) on my own accord so I can get in some Pro/E time and not have to worry about being bothered by the I.E. crap. (Call me corporate America).

I am talking to a couple nice chicks. The HSC is still around, and then there is this chick I met at the gym. She is around 5-8, prolly weighs about 150-155, (I really like her size and height…..It just feels right when I hug her and stuff. Much better than the Model Chick’s and HSC’s tiny ass 5-2 and a buck 20 size one wearing asses) dark brown skin, works out like nobody’s business (Chick is thinking about doing a triathlon sprint next year). My type of chick. She is a real athlete. She played b-ball for a D-1 school. She is hella sweet and nice, and super girly (not prissy, though). I feel really comfortable with her, like I think I could go to sleep with her in the bed with me. And that doesn’t normally happen. I’m a little scared, though, 'cause she talks about me going to the N.O. with her and meeting her Family and all that. We might need a little brake pumpage on that one.

I’m kinda thinking about not kicking it with the HSC since I just wanna try to get to know the Baller (other chick from last paragraph).

I’m still working out. Trying to be cock diesel come the 27th birthday (Feb 2008).

I’m gonna be playing flag football this year. Yeah….I out weigh the average dudes by 100 lbs. How funny is that? I bet I’m still gonna be faster then some of them rat bastards too. I mean….I’m black and they are all white.

A dude pulled out a handkerchief during a meeting today, blew his nose into it, and put the hanky back in his pocket. That shit is fuckin’ gross.

That is all I got.

This Random about me thing

2007-09-17T16:21:00.000-04:00

Accent – None. I’ve always been told that my “accent” is very neutral. That is except for by some of the women here in Southern Ga. I get the whole “Where you from?” (said as country and ignantly as possible) a whole lot.

I Don't Drink – Wine and Yager

Chore I Hate – Dishes…..and the dishwasher in my apt is old and shitty. I’m not confident in its abilities to clean so I’m left to washing by hand and it sucks.

Pets – Killa Keysha…..that bitch(female dog) is crazy

Essential Electronic – My Laptop

Perfume/Cologne – Either On El or That Sean John Unforgivable (Yeah, the BULLY stays smelling fresh)

Gold or silver – Gold

Insomnia – Not an issue. I just don’t go to bed early enough

Job Title – Project Engineer and Product Line Engineer (I told yall they got me doing a whole other position. The first one is my Mech. Eng. Position and the other is a bitch ass Industrial Eng. position)

Most Admired Trait – I don’t know. I’d guess it would be my loyalty.

Physically: My overall size is what dominates. I don't get much on specific parts....unless I'm in shape. When I'm in shape chicks dig my chest.

Kids – I guess Killa Keysha counts…..ol’ crazy bitch

Religion –Baptist but I've thought about the whole non-denominational thing (I believe in God , Jesus, and the Holy Ghost ‘nem…..I just don’t think it really matters what you call them)

Siblings – A little Sis.

Time I wake up – Around 6:30

Unusual talent/skill – I think I have some sort of thing with my nerves....sometimes injuries that are supposed to hurt really bad don't hurt me at all. (When I tore my ACL that shit didn't hurt at all) And then sometimes I am just too stupid to let pain stop me (Like the time I fell and got a got a second degree sprained ankle, but kept on running daily for like 3 weeks.....I would just run till it numbed up, but then it stopped numbing up.)

Vegetable I refuse to eat – Beets. Them things are gross.

Worst habit – Being to nice to females (read being a bitch ass) …especially the ones I like

X-rays – teeth, leg and ankle, knee (MRI)

My favorite meal – Blackened Catfish Opelousa from Pappadeaux

Appetizer: Seared tuna or Bang Bang Shrimp from Bonefish

Entree: A good ass steak cooked between Medium Rare and Medium (little closer to the medium side) and I want it texas style with that scoop of butter sittin on it and a big ol’ loaded baked potato (I’m talkin chives, bacon…real bacon not baco bits, sour cream, butter….all that) And some steamed veggies and maybe some French onion soup and a cold Sam Adams in a frosty mug.

I tag Xcentric Pryncess, Q, and J.

This is a public service announcement.

2007-09-13T17:41:00.000-04:00

Ladies....do not get too comfortable with your dude and think it is ok to bring up the farting business first (this is in exception of the pussy fart.....aka The pussy talking to me...that shit makes me laugh). This especially goes for all the big fat gassy bitches.

So, yeah, broad already fat....ate like Outback Steak house was going out of business. Complained about being full as hell and STILL just had to find a fucking coldstone.

Ol' non body image concerned ass broad.

And then have the nerve to say shit like "Well if you lived up here you could push me to be in the gym and I would work out."

Bitch....I am not Cpt. Save a Ho nor am I Cpt. regain a ho's waistline.

Big belly having ass broad ate all that food and icecream and then got gas and then had the nerve to complain and be like "You mean I gotta get up and go to the bathroom everytime I needto fart?"

Hell yeah...

And I thought A.K.A.'s were the good little priss chicks. Not this one. Well she was like A.K.A.'s......the head was on point. Made a niggas toes curlz de fuckuhp (excuse my french).

Haaaaaa, and then , after she spat out all them throat babies, she had the gall to ask me what I thought about her coming down for a couple days. (Ol' girl must have gotten high off your boys nuttlings)

I had to give her a good quick "Nooooooooo.......that would not be a good idea."

And then I left her to sleep in the bed by herself. Your boy slept like a rock on that damn sofa bed. Now I didn't do that shit to be mean or nothing, but I just really really didn't feel like going out of my fuckin way to make her feel good. I can't sleep with someone in my bed that I don't know. I used to just deal with it and be tired as shit the next day, but broads don't get the priveledge anymore. I say fuck long sleepless nights and fuck your wanting me to lay next to you.

The HSC......I like this chick. She has that Virgin Island blood in her(And we all know how the BULLY loves some Island girls). I mean like I know her pops is straight up VI, but I'm not sure about moms. I do know that she was born over there.
She is 5-2, slim chick. Big BIG boobages. nice dark brown skin and just a really really sweet girl. I don't know what it is about all these little girls that I have seeing come here lately. Usually them girls have been atleast round the 150-160 mark. These last 2-3 have been 120-130 mark. I mean them little chicks with thighs the size of my upper arm. The size 2 type chicks. Funny thing is my moms was a little slim chick when she was younger. When she got pregnant with me she was 5-5 125.

ANyway...your boy is still in Charlotte, N.C. the Queen's City. I'm poppin out tonight, hopefully I'll end up with another story to tell.

-Nuttayballs

.....whatever

2007-08-30T12:55:00.000-04:00

Sooooo, yeah, the BULLY had to put the lock on the blizzog cause chick at work found the site. Me and her have a pretty good relationship...kinda like brother and sister in how we just do shit to pester the shit out of each other. I've done stuff like un-tie her shoes and then laugh at her for having a hard time tying them back (She is pregnant...lol) or calling her and then noisily hanging up on her as soon as she answers.

If you know other folks that want to read just tell 'em to email me Fla_BULLY@yahoo.com and I will invite them to read also.

Yeah....your boy was weak this weekend and when ahead and got some izzass from an old friend. It was the chick that I lost my virginity to. She has been calling me for some weeks asking me to come visit and shit, and it hasn't been high at all on my priority list....at all. I mean shit....I was spending my time with Model Chick's fine ass. But she called me Saturday afternoon and said "I want to see you tonight."

I showed up bout 1am. Drank a couple more beers (on top of the pitcher I already had in me.....I figured it would have been a good idea to prepare for the not so good.) She wasn't baaaadddd, but she damn sure wasn't good. She had a kid bout a year ago......prolly should have started working out bout a year ago. I gave her a quick one....then the beer kicked in and I gave her the BUSINESS. Then I left. I got a text from her Sunday night tombout she would love to do it again. I texted her back on monday night like Yeeeaahhh, we'll have to do that againg some time.

Don't want to burn the bridge....but damn sure don't want to use it as a crutch.

Black Beauty's crazy ass is....well.....still crazy. I guess I am just as crazy for still wanting to kick it with her ol' gym head ass. The booty is just so nice.....like BAM!!! She sent me a text out of the blue like "What are your plans for the wekend?" I calle her and her crazy ass wouldn't tell me what she had in mind that could possibly include me. She then asked me what I had been telling my homeboy about her because she got some message from her friend (friend and my boy are old friends) saying all types of stuff. My boy has said nothing to her girl about us, so I don't know what the hell she is tombout. Fine ass crazy chick.

I'm going to see Halloween with the High School Crush tomorrow. I'm kinda excited. She is such a sweet girl, but can be a little rough 'round the edges when she wants to be, but def. knows when and when not to be. She has a little girl thats 4. HSC tells me about her doing and saying the cutest stuff. Like how when the were at Seaworld and Shamu splashed 'em and got the lil girl's clothes wet. Now the little girl is mad with Shamu and doesn't want to go back when her mom goes in the fall. Lil girl told HSC that she can go by herself next time.

HSC also wants to go out and shoot with me (the 9mm) but she is willing to come and try the out the Shotty on some Skeet Shooting.

Cool.

Gotta go to another long ass boring ass me not participating in ass pointless ass meeting. Talk to y'all niggas later.

It just don't make no damn sense

2007-08-28T07:59:00.000-04:00

So.....yeah, I just read some article about our national obesity percentage has increased again. Americans are just getting fatter and fatter. The state that is the fattest and getting fatter the quickest is Mississippi. Not all of Mississippi is doing that bad, but the Delta region is doing really really bad.

Cats are just getting fatter than a sumbitch round here and just don't care.

FUCK MO'NIQUE!! FUCK RAVEN SIMONE!! AND FUCK EVERYONE ELSE THAT IS FAT FATTY MCFATFAT AND THEN TALS ABOUT IT LIKE ITS ALL TO THE GOOD.

Maybe I see this more in black women cause thats all I deal with, but I have met chicks that were on the fluffy side and they think they are great, wouldn't think it to be too bad if they gained more, and damn sure aint thinking about trying to do anything to lose the weight. That shit bothers me. I mean, yeah, I'm a chubby boy. 5-9 260lbs., but I'm health concious. I'm trying to keep things on the up and up. Its just it bothers me that people just don't care about their health......or they don't see fatness as a serious health issue. That shit is MAD serious.

I guess that is the problem. People just don't equate their body shape and size to health. It trips me out. I'll get in the car with Fatty McFatkins, not put on my seatbelt and then catch an earfull about it from a sum bitch that a couple big macs, supersized fries, and apple pie and a fucking diet cherry coke. BBBiiiiittttcchhhhh.......I might get in an accident and then maybe die, but atleast I'm not breathing heavy and weezing while I sit still and I am not in anydanger of having to get a toe cut-off, or having a heart attack.....or having to get the wall cut off my bedroom so they can crane my ass out of the house and then die.

I'm trippin'.

Naw, but real talk, all that excess fat. All that muffin top, all them extra ripples and rolls and flaps and back titties and shit is no good. Being fat is just so damn unhealthy. If you really look at it being all fat and eaing like shit is almost as bad as smoking. You just can't make other people sick from eating around them.

Big fat people be all on TV saying be big and beautiful and be happy.........I'm gonna go and get a bunch of fuckin' people with leprosy and MS and Typhoid fever and the Flu and put 'em on TV and be all like "Go head, y'all.....look how you coughin' and shit...y'all look good....be proud of that nose that just fell off.......that emphazeema is looking fierce!!......now keep on doing what yall do and don't go see no doctor. That's just the media trying to force its unreal images of not being sick as hell on you."

That overly fat thing just really bothers me cause that shit is so serious and too many people don't recognize it. Too many people are just too lazy to do anything about it and too many people are just accepting it and embracing it.

We gotta do better, y'all.

-Nuttay Balls

Crazy Ass Females......

2007-08-27T13:00:00.000-04:00

Yeah.....your boy has been attracting....or maybe I've been attracted to some crazy ass females here lately.

Model chick kinda gets lumped into the crazy chick realm cause of her seeing a psychic and believing that bullshit was the truest shit she ever heard......fuckin' psychic.

Black Beauty.....aka posterchild for the black dude that refuses to date black women because of their attitude and angriness. Never went on a date with the chick. I have just tried to kick it with her.....get to know her a little. I didn't want to just jump on her as soon as she came to town. Didn't wanna try her, it go bad, and then we couldn't even kick it like friends while she was here. (She is here on internship/rotational). Anyway, last thing that happened with that was last week. I invited her over to the spot to watch a video. I tell her to show up like 8ish.

I don't hear from her, so I call her at 830....and leave a message. I call once more 'bout nine, ask her whats up. She says she knocked on the door at 8, I didn't answer and she left.

Ol' girl was straight pissed. I was out of the shower by 804. I had the celly-o-phone in the bathroom with me. When I told her she should have called she got even more pissed and said I should have been ready to open the door at 8...and if she had called what was she supposed to do.....wait?

Damn. That chick was straight trippin. Who goes to someone's spot, knocks like 3 times, and then doesn't atleast try 1 call to see if maybe they weren't just in the bathroom or something? And then who gets super pissed over it? I think she must be going through a ton of stress from something. I mean, I hope she is cause if she is just like that all the time...then chick is just fuckin' nuts. (Oh, and this was the second time she got all super pissed over some simple ass stuff not going exactly how she likes it type shit.)

Outside of the really short temper childishly getting pissed and be just short of throwing a temper tantrum type stuff she really would be the type of chick I would want to kick it with.

Now, the most recent crazy chick is this chick I met online about a year ago. I met her while I was in South Crack and we talked some and then it just fell off. No sweat of this negro's back. I ended up calling her a few weeks ago because the BULLY is gonna be up in her neck of the woods. I wanted suggestions on good places to eat. (Yoooooo, the BULLY is gonna be up in Charlotte, North Crack in a couple of weeks....HOLLA ATCHUR BOY!!) So we kinda started talking on the phone (I wasn't kickin it with model chick so it helped to kinda feel the void....and she is a good educated progressive woman. I always like talking to those types.) Anyway....she has got to talking bout meeting up for the weekend and stuff and or coming to visit and buying me cologne. She has called me three times and sent me a text in one night.

Next time we talk I am going to have to just tell her that she is taking things way more seriously than they are. I really think I should not try to link up with her when I go to North Crack. And If I do I for damn sure better not rip. Cause really, not to sound cocky, but I can tell by how ol' girl is talking that cooze will be there for the taking. Then I would be billed as one of those bad black dudes that messes it up for the good ones because in her head she won't remember that she was the only one talking about visiting and gift buying and all that crap. She will be delusional as shit and will recount the story to all her man hating ass friends that I lead her on and I talked about this and that.

Fuck that.

-the BULLY

Trying to play the game

2007-08-20T10:30:00.000-04:00

So, yeah,....I haven't had a real convo with the chick that I have been dating (the model chick) in over a week. I really fuckin' miss her, but after a few days of the whole "We need to seperate ourselves thing" I got over the frustration of not ripping and stuff and really did start missing her. I figured that seperation thing was gonna be over on Friday, when she came over and the laundry that she left over on Monday and she got the bras that had been hanging in the laundry area for about 2.5 weeks. I told her that I missed her. She asked what my plans were for the evening and I told her I was going to the movies. (Yeah, it was BB.) She gave me the "Yeah, you aren't missing me too much if you are going out on dates" type talk/couple of lines. I tried to tell her it wasn't, but whatever. Since then we have had a couple of brief talks, but she has been ending the call real quick like, telling me she is gonna call me back, and then not doing it.

So, I guess I should just stop calling her, but that shit is gonna be a little tough. I am really starting to not see anything happening with BB, so I can't just talk to her in place of Model Chick. ..........I have started back with the High School Crush though.....

Anyway, I would have maybe been straight, but me actually seeing her on Friday did it. I was missing her some on Friday morning, but after seeing her again for the first time in 4 days (we haven't gone 4 days without seeing each other except for right after we met....Met on Tuesday had lunch on Saturday and have been up each others butts since....yeah, no wonder i get all frustrated with her. We really were seeing too much of each other).

But.....yeah, I just gotta play the game some and not let myself become a damn buggaboo. I mean, really. I told her that I really did miss her back on Friday. Its been said, no point in stressing it any farther.

Whatchyall thank?

-Nuttayballs

Updates

2007-08-17T13:48:00.000-04:00

Aight, soooooo, yeah........I know I had been talking about a lot of stuff..errr people consistantly for a minute there and now nothing, so here it is.

Bi-chick (Not to be confused with the recently met bitch, Bi-o-chick)
Bi-chick is pregnant....or atleast that is her story. And nope...not by me. Matter of fact I had to fight the urge to be like "Ha...thats what you get for not fuckin' me. I would have been using a condom and you would not be pregnant right now." real hard.....I still think about calling her and saying that and we haven't spoken in around a month. She got knocked up by an ex-boyfriend one time when I think she wanted me to come over, but I was doing something else. We hadn't talked for a while when she told me that she with child. She had stopped coming up to the spizzot, and we would see each other sometimes when I was in Tally, but there wasn't anymore plain ol me and her together by ourselves time. I had been asking her to kick it here and there, but she was always too tired or something and then when she wanted to kick it I was busy.

She then got on the whole low self-esteem kick like "Why do you want to kick it with the big girl" like she was saying that since she was fat there was no way I could find her attractive. I mean yeah, she is fat...but she is hella fun, and still has a good shape, she looks like a woman, not a stack of pancakes. Then after she told me she was pregnant she got on the "No one wants to hang out with the big pregnant girl" kick. I got tired of telling her she was trippin all the damn time time and sent her one last e-mail that said "I don't even know why I even try to kick it with you anymore. Forget it....I'm done" I haven't spoken to her since, nor have I gotten anymore of those everyday "Good Morning" text messages that I had grown so damn fond of.

The funny part is that when we first met, like a year ago, she was just getting over some surgery that was supposed to make her not able to have kids.........hmmmm. I never said that I didn't know her to be a fuckin' liar

the Ex....I'm tombout THE EX
I haven't spoken to her in around a month and a half. Long story short......if you find yourself to be kinda stuck in a long lingering on again/off again type relationship limbo thing, just spend a weekend with the person. Even better if the weekend stint is kinda unsolicited.

I invited her up one Friday night. She left for work on Sat. am, then came back and didn't leave until Sunday afternoon....cause I was leaving to go see Momma 'nem. All that time together helped me realize that the thrill was gone..completely. We aren't quite the same people......well I'm not the same dude anymore for sure. I used to be the guy that opened his mouth real quick like when I smeeled shit, and didn't give a fuck if I hurt someones feeling when I told them about the shit I smelled. Now, I smell shit, don't say nathan, but remember I smelled shit and either not go around your shitty ass no more, or keep your shitty ass at a length and in specified areas, while you look all types of confused.

I'm working on that.

Thats all I got on that.......just hit me in the comments if yall have questions about any of the shit that I brought up and you wanted to know more.

I'm trippin........

2007-08-14T21:42:00.000-04:00

So, yeah....your boy is straight trippin.

The whole not having sex thing is fuckin with me hard.

The whole wanting a mainstay type chick is fucking with me hard.

The chick that I have been dating, playing around with, doing all types of sexual type shit like showering together and that bullshit ass dry humping and groping is fucking with me hard.

Me not wanting to fuck my own hand is fucking with me hard.

Normally the stress of the extra responsibility/new position type shit wouldn't be fucking with me all that bad, but with all this other shit is fucking with me real hard.

Me really wanting to try out Black Beauty is fucking with me hard.

The fucking Bi-o-chick is fucking with me hard......I really don't like her approach at shit. She says she just wants to talk and be friends, but she just......she just reminds me of so many grimy niggas that I know. I felt pretty disrespected by the whole shit, and then I just don't trust the bitch.

Like I said....I'm trippin

I've been lifting hard....when I do that shit I get kinda off keel for a while til my body gets used to the extra amounts of testosterone that comes as a result of me pushing myself physically.
(Crazy as it may sound when I get to lifting hard I really get edgy as fuck....I even get a little bit of acne on my shoulders....yeah, straight up symptoms of someone on roids)

I'm trippin

I need to get some ass....and the chick I lost my virginity to has been trying to come and visit me for a fucking while.

I'm tired of kicking it with the chick that I'm dating. That chick is kinda spoiled......I kinda feel like I'm giving way more than I get in return...unless you consider getting sexually teased a decent return. I have bought her dinner several times, albeit some of them have been cheap, like Firehouse subs, but I even cooked dinner for her a time or two. I have let her do her laundry over here a couple times and all I have gotten was to use her $30 gift card at Olive Garden....and I still had to add to it. Then I took her out to a nightclub.

I'm trippin.

Naw, I'm not trippin. I want a woman that isn't all about getting and somewhat about giving. A chick that won't just say "Oh, I got you next time." And then be over the next day ready to wash her clothes........

I don't know.....I need to just get some ass.....cut this good boy shit out.

Maybe.....

I'm fuckin trippin'

Damn....where to begin?

2007-08-12T19:56:00.000-04:00

Soooooo, yeah, your boy the MuthaFuckin' BULLY hasn't really posted a damn thang in damn near forever. Yeah, I've been living life....having a couple different experiences and all that shit. I don't even know where to fuckin start.....if I should even try to catch y'all niggas up.

Shit.....I'll just start typing and see where it takes me.

I've been dating this chick now for a few weeks. She is a pretty nice girl. She is a very attractive (Small girl with good size boobies.....size o or 2 depending on the brand pants and 34 D's and a pretty face) chick....one of them chick that makes it quite beneficial for a nigga to stay in the gym, keep his fight game on point. (An example is the time I took her to this little spot back in Tally, Mt. Zion, its a little hood, but not too bad. Anyway, we were up on each other all night, and when we go to leave, we pass by some dude and reaches out and touches her....and she wasn''t even really fixed up). We connected pretty quick...started spending a lot of time. She is from Brooklyn...and real New York City like. We sleep with each other so much till it feels funny when we are sleeping in the same bed. And that is literally just us sleeping together...not rippin'...not giving each other mouth hugs or nothing...just some kissin and a little bit of pat and tickle here and there....real PG. And no...I can't believe it either.

I met this cool ass bi-o-sexual chick a few weeks ago too. Mad cool...just like me, called me out on all my bullshit, and I liked it. She said she already knew my whole angle of attack be cause we were both the same zodiac (one day apart at that....me Feb. 26...her Feb. 27) She has a girlfriend, prefers chicks over dudes, but gets a little kack craving erry now and then. She said she wanted me to meet her girlfriend, and all kick it. I really had hopes of knocking either her and maybe even her girlfriend in maybe a drunken night of ignance. But if me and her never hook up on some freaky sex, I would still want to kick it with her as a friend, cause we click so well.

This friend of a friend's friend ended up having to do her physical therapy rotational here in my South Ga. town. I peep a few pics of her via facebook and chick is pretty damn nice. A real gymhead type chick and as dark as she wanna be......my type of girl.....on that level, and then she gets here and she is hella cool. She is a bit of a smart ass, she gets all pissed of at people really easy at stuff, self confident, balsy. I like all that stuff. She doesn't have big boobages, but that ass is nice.....I mean like DAMN, but she is a little a slim chick, size 2, but she is my height. The other one, I'll call her Model Chick, is like 5'1". Height is a definite bonus. I'll call this chick Black Beauty.

So, me and black beauty go out Friday night. We aren't on a date...hell we ain't talking or nothing. I doubt she even has any idea that I am sorta interested in her. (I want to get to know her some, before I make any real moves). We end up running into Bi-o-sexual chick. BB and Bi-o -chick end up hitting it off right off bat. BB's birthday happens to be on Feb. 19. Yeah......they get to talking about their natural hair and all that. Bi-o-chick ends up suggesting that they exchange numbers, but that she didn't have any thing to write on. I say "Don't worry, I'll give her your number." She made some smart ass remark and then her and BB walked out of the joint we were at.....leaving me with the dumb face and looking at my boy that was with us like "What the fuck just happened?".

They were gone for about 15-20 minutes, finally showed back up after everyone was leaving, me and my boy were at my car and I had called them a few times.........Bi-o-chick called me back bout fifteem minutes later telling me that it was nothing and that they were just talking about hair and stuff.

Whatever.

I left my pocket knife in her car the first time we met and I told her that was all I wanted from her.

Damn Bi-o-sexual/lesbian chicks.....using their magical powers to take our women from us non vagina owners.

That shit was just plain out wrong. Damn Bi-o-chicks/lesbians don't play by the rules that dudes do.....the rules that keep dudes from beating the shit out of other dudes. Whenever you see a female friend out with a dude you HAVE to atleast give that complimentary inquiry: "Hey, is that you?" or "Whats up with you and ol' girl"....or "Hey, is it cool with you if I hollar at ol girl?"

Anyway, now that bi-o-bitch is all calling me, stalling on giving me my damn knife and asking me about BB, if I am ever gonna bring BB back to her town to party, and what is BB up to.

I really just want to get my damn knife from that pussy lickin' Bi-o-bitch and never deal with her bitch ass again. Unless that is what BB wants....then I am going to have try to parlay that shit into me joining in their crazy lesbian love session, or at least let me get my watch on.

-the Muthafuckin BULLY

Get to know me....

2007-07-31T20:50:00.000-04:00

1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.

2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.

3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.

4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.

5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Yeah....Like Shug said I'm all flattered and shit cause I got tagged and yeah....I have put damn near my whole life in this damn thing, so its gonna be hard to do this

Aaaaawwwww....Henh ih go!!

1. Aight....the shitty job I had in Texas that I left to go back to school....Well.......I was really quitting before they fired me.....and actually...they told me that I had to leave before I told them I was gonna leave, so....no I wasn't fired, but had I stayed there past them 60 days I would have been. Yeah, I was that shitty of an employee and I knew it. I just could not get myself to do shit because I hated the job. I started thejob with passion and desire to do good, but I just wasn't a good fit, and could not get myself motivated to make flour and supervise a bunch of country ass Texans making flour. I'm pretty embarassed over losing that job, but it helped me to grow up a lot going through that shit......that and living a life of being broke while I tried to do the school thing for a year.

2. I want a motorcycle, but I am not gonna get one until after finish paying off my car...then I'll be the quintessintial man with a car, a truck, and a bike.

3. Sometimes I develop little crushes on chicks whose blogs I read. I mean, shit......I love raw confident women.....when folks (men or women) blog they are more their pure uninhibited un-apologetic here I am...Fuck you!! selves. I like women like that. If you think I am weird for catching crushes on lady bloggers then FUCK YOU......

4. I got some fucked up looking toes....toe nails especially

5. I am convinced that I fart much more than the average human being

6. I not only have a few grey hairs in my facial hair, I also have one in my left nostril and a grey eyelash over my left eye

7. I am really afraid of becoming an old lonely man with no family.......like my manager

8. I feel bad for flirting with girls and getting them to dig me just because I feel like I can and then have absolutely no intentions on even getting their number.

Aight, so there it is......I am really not known....or know many bloggers to tag or that actually read my joint, but what the hizzell.. (and Shug would have been one that I would have tagged)

1. Them 2 Kitties over at anonymouscox.blogspot.com
2. That nigga Slish over at slishslash.blogspot.com (That nigga's shit is now only open to invited peoples now....damn, his shit was hella interesting) If yall are one of his readers tell him to invite your boy
3. That chick Nikki at iniquitous1.blogspot.com. She nasty, be talking bout sucking that Kack on the regular.....the BULLY likes...and her shit is all poetic like full of super colorful ass metaphors and shit...she is good.
4. The SexyTxGirl....I just like her name
5. My girl Tiff

I feel strong

2007-07-05T18:22:00.000-04:00

Despite the sore throat, slight burning in my ear canal/sinuses, slight cough, and a headache the BULLY feels strong. I just feel plain out good. Real talk….I have been training pretty consistantly for the past few weeks. I’m running a mile and a half 2-3 times a week (its only been 2 times cause stuff keeps coming up) in the morning and doin’ other stuff on the off days and in the evenings.

The most significant source of my feeling of greatness is that I am sorta pissed at a couple of females.

You know what….if it wasn’t for problems with females, then I wouldn’t have any dealings with them at all. It must be me.

Anyway, I’m a little frustrated with Bi-chick. Nothing has happened, but I don’t ever get to see her. I saw more of her when she was seeing that other dude…some punk ass musician. On the real, we aren’t in any sort of relationship, aren’t going to be. She is getting ready to move to Atlanta in a few weeks. She works two jobs, has some other joints that she does on the side, like make up and some sort of low level music lable or something like that….she manages cats. She works 6-7 days a week between the two jobs, I’m guessing 60-70 hours a week. She kept her younger siblings for a week or so, I do a lot of shit on the weekends (last weekend Atl, this weekend Jacksonville…..in the next couple of weekends I gotta hit up Panama City Beach……I always end up with plans of some sort). I get busy, she is always busy. We don’t even fuck each other. We play around, pat and tickle here and there…sneaky nasty stuff in public. I just really enjoy hanging with her cocky smart ass havin’ ass. ……….I guess the BULLY misses her ol’ mixed ass….well half way miss her. The BULLY doesn’t do white girls…not really.

The other female is THE EX. Why do I continue to kick it with this broad? Something always ends up happening that I deem as kinda fucked up in one way shape or form. Maybe she just likes to keep me around for Steve….and my tongue……and to be taken out from time to time. She says “I love you.” When we get off the phone sometimes, and shit like that, but then fucked actions still happen. Case in point. I invited her out Tuesday night to come out with some friends. One of em is a homegirl that is bout to move to Tampa…I’ll call her the owner of my vacation spot in Tampa. We have been planning to cook some deer meat on the grill forever, but this was going to be the last chance. She ends up deciding to go do it at the big BIG breasted light skinned Jamaican girls (we have met before) place cause they were having a much larger cook out.

Anyway….THE EX comes to the cookout and ends up linking up with some dude that she meets there. I mean, yeah she will probably say something like “Well he was talking to me….” Type stuff, but she was flirting back and being very receptive. She spoke with that cat way waaaaaay more than me. I mean, yeah, I stopped trying to acknowledge her once I saw what was going on (and that was real quick). She made a couple of week ass attempts to come and patronize me some….well once or twice. Like she came out and spoke to me and grabbed my ass said a few words, then went back in to talk to that cat some more. Then when I told her I was leaving she wanted to give me the pouty face…..like she was really gonna miss me while she was all up under that tall Nigga. Your boy is hot right now. Thinking about this shit. That was hella fucked up to me. I know we aren’t together and I know you are gonna talk to dudes and shit, but don’t do that shit in front of me at something that I invited your ass to…..I invited you to kick it with me and my friends….not random tall nigga.

I mean, we were laying in the bed that morning cuddling. I had to leave to let my dog, Keysha, out of her kennel so she could piss and shit, and you are holding me like “I don’t want you to go yet…” and then turn around and do me like that…..like the BULLY is just some sillyass side bitch. FUCK ALL OF THAT!!!

I’m bout to leave work and go train. (Train right after I pick up some food for Keysha and a funnel to use when I re-up my truck with transmission fluid….damn transmission fluid leak.)

-RAGING BULL

Yyyoooo

2007-07-05T18:20:00.000-04:00

So, yep, it’s the day after the fourth of Julie. The fourth of Julie is one of those holidays that don’t matter all that much to me, but I like to have the day off. They might as well gave us the last half of the week off cause niggas aint doin shit.

I just weighed myself a few minutes ago. Your boy is down to about 253-254 from 266-268. I am starting to feel a little lighter. I can’t wait till I am under 250 while fully dressed. These big ass work boots and pocket knife and big heavy ass jeans and stuff really add up. But, yeah, the 240’s range is when I start getting excited. I am usually pretty good at 245. I really want to drop to 230-220. Straight drastic. I’m looking to drop a good 40 some pounds…..never thought I would be this out of shape. Well, maybe I am not all that out of shape, but kinda. Some of yall know me. Yall be looking at your boy on facebook….and some be lookin on the myspace joint. So, even though your boy was damn near 300lbs you know that it wasn’t all that bad. But compared to where I have been it was damn bad.

I have two reasons for wanting to drop the weight. I want to do it for the health and fitness reasons. I’ll be healthier…I’ve changed the whole lifestyle. I’ll be able to be more fit cause it will be easier for me to do more stuff. It aint easy being 260lbs. and try to do stuff. I weigh too much to do finger tip push-ups. I doubt that I could climb a rope without using my legs, and I just don’t fit in to many places. The other reason is the broads. When you are 260lbs, the only broads you pull are deuces. Not 2 on the richter scale, I’m tonbout broads that are deuce…deuce and a half…..Damn, that’s a big bitch big. I think they like me cause I make them feel smaller and they want to sleep with a dude, atleast once in their life, that can manhandle their big asses.

Don’t get me wrong, I got love for big broads. I ‘d take big fat chick before a skinny chick, but your boy really kinda likes them thick atheletic types. You know 140-160 if you are 5’3”-5’8” or 160-180 if you are up to around 6 ft or so. You got a little size, but not much. I was pullin’em like that when I was a rippling 235-245. Your boy aint rippling right now…might not ever be rippling again, and that’s cool. I will be fine. Matter of fact, I would be good right now if it wasn’t for this midsection. It will get there. 20-25 more pizzounds. Folks are starting to notice the slimmage too.

Oh, my, I just thought about it. I’m gonna be all slim, so my belly aint gonna be bumping on booty whilst I get my stoke on, and I am gonna have all of this endurance from the running I am doing…….and my junk is harder…and maybe a little bigger when I am in good shape too. Yessss, the bedroom BULLY will be back in full ef-fuckin-fizzect. Fa reeeeeaaaaallllll.

-the BULLY

A T L

2007-06-26T20:38:00.000-04:00

Yoooooo, the Muthafuckin' BULLY is going to be in Atlanta this weekend.....straight partying his ass off while being deeply consumed by that drrraaaannnnkkkk!!!!!

Holla at your boy!!

Oh, ok, so I never saw "Dream Girls", and never paid attention to anything about the movie. All I knew was that the bigger girl, Jennifer Hudson, stole the show from Be-yon-ka. I was all like "Shitchyea". So, I'm sitting here watching the B.E.T. awards joint and finally saw what J-hud looks like. She looks like the Virgin Island chick (VI Chick) that I used to fuck bout 2 years ago, then got all mad when she wanted to stop sleeping with me and said she would rather "Whore it up all over town instead of kicking it with me"....that shit was a true ass statement too. ....Fuckin' Whore. Anyway, I can say I used to Fuck a J-Hud look-a-like, big ass titties and all.

I'm tired of seeing Bey-on-ka's ass, and her busted ass looking mammy-made ass outfits that her momma be makin'.

Haaaaaa, T-Pain in this beeeyotch!!

Ooooh, I started writing this while I was watching the BET awards.....and now it is like 5 or six days later and I am now back from the AAaayyyy. I had a great time. Met Jamaal Anderson of the Atlanta Falcons.....I'll just say "hhhmmmmm....."

I think I want to move to Atlanta now. So many high quality black women, so many aint bout shit and or in jail, and or gay ass black men. Nigga like me would do very well.

If you were in the club called "Opera" I was there...maybe you saw me. Your boy was all in the V.I.P. (Ha, I just walked up there like I was supposed to be there.

Anyway.......I'll hollar.

-the BULLY

Hhhmmmmm….Ionno…..

2007-06-20T20:19:00.000-04:00

So, y’all, Shug went out with a dude, by her description, that looks like Shaggy from Scooby Doo. Well, maybe not, but he was white and his hair is all crazy and he was tall, sooooo SHAGGY from Scooby Doo.

So, the BULLY, how does this make you feel?

Huh? Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.

Ok, the BULLY, how does it make you feel that Shug is going out on dates with and kicking’ it with a white dude?

Oh…..uummmmm…. Kinda.

What do you mean “Kinda”?

I mean…whatever.

Whatever?

Yeah, you dizzy ass broad, whatever. I really don’t give a shat. Good for her to be able to go out with Johnny Whitebread somewhere up in Alabama and still be fine with it. Me, I mean Myself, like…I’m tonbout the BULLY couldn’t do it. Hell, in this bap ass little town up in south central Ga. I get stared at enough when I go out with Bi-chick. ( I mean, yeah she is a pretty chick… a big pretty chick that is pretty fly) and she aint even white, well she kinda is….like halfway, but she just looks lightskinned. If I were to be all up and out with Susy Whitebread I know folks would be staring harder den a mug, prolly asking for the BULLY to let them hit my knuckles with their face or something.

Seriously though, I would just feel plain out funny going out with a white chick. And it seems to be a lot more socially acceptable for a black woman to go out with a white man. And something else that’s funny, a point brought up by this dude that Ma Bully works with brought up one time. He was married to a white chick, said it was the worst decision he ever made and now really really dislikes white women. The thing he brought up was that you never see powerful, successful, well to do white women with black dudes. Its true. I can only think of one and that is that model chick that married Seal….and he isn’t really black (when I say black I mean American negroid).

The whole trade thing is all fucked up when it comes to trade agreement thing we have with white folks. Their men take (and a lot of time they are the really well to do types, pretty much the exact opposite busted, sloppy fat, trailer park, trashy, un-educated, low self esteem havin’ skank ass white women that black men just seem to love) our great (on virtually all fronts) successful black women (Shug). It’s like we are trading our diamonds for their trash.

Whats really up with that?

Ionno, but I betcha you won’t catch me booing up anyone’s trash, real talk. (don’t get that confused with the chick that can be a little trashy…the BULLY kinda likes…..and some of the trashy sex havingest chicks that I have known have been some highly educated, getting master’s/ bout to start going for that Ph.D. type chick…..smart and nasty is my type of girl…..giggity)

-the MuthaFuckin BULLY

……….Am I an Oreo?

2007-06-17T04:55:00.001-04:00

Aight, so….yeah, I read a lot of blogs and because all I do is piggy back of other people’s blog rolls (habitual lurker I am…..blow me!!) starting from the folks that I know I end up just reading black folks blogs. I mostly like to read womens blogs. Soooooo I read a lot of black womens blogs.

Why do I read black womens blogs you ask? I do it because I love yall. I was birthed by a black woman, raised by a black woman, pissed the hell off by a lot of black women, hurt by black women, I talk bad about a lot of black women, but I love yall….really, I do.

Anyway, the thing that comes up a lot is relationship stuff. Yall get to talking about all the stuff you want in a black man, and all the shit you done had to put up with a black man and all the problems with the black man and I beeessss like “Damn!!”. For real, cause, even though I see where a lot of y’all be picky and specific den a sumbitch, mostly yall look for stuff that, to ME, is just run of the mill type stuff. Putting emphasis on stuff like “He has to have a good steady job, have his own place, not be on drugs, be willing to take care of his kids, be respectful of women, not like to poke other men in the booty with or without their penis sometimes, have a car, blah blah blah blah”.

And the thing that bothers me most is where some black women feel that it is their place…ummmm their duty …..ummm social requirement, mandate by GOD himself to,…….if they don’t do it it just won’t ever happen thing. I’m talking about the notion that the black man NEEDS you to boost him up to fully be a man. Like a nigga’s spine is limp until you come along and boost him up.

I hate that shit!!

A woman try doing that shit to me is gonna get told “Bitch, back up off me!!”.

I take a serious offense to that type of shit. I am offended by that shit because I am a MAN. I am a BLACK MAN….I am a STRONG BLACK MAN. I’m proud. I’m confident. I’m the shit. I know my strengths and even more importantly I know my weaknesses. Someone coming in trying to “make me a strong man” says to me that you don’t think I am a strong man……..straight up questioning my status as a man. I believe a man and woman should compliment one another. I fully believe that, but I do not believe that it takes some woman to make me a Man.

Now, the oreo thing…..I have a good job, a nice newer car (the Max is now 3), a dependable ass old truck (I got a Ford Certified rebuilt motor put in that bitch at the end of January), I live by myself (renting, I want to buy something, but I want to wait until the max is paid off and I have knocked out a good bit of these student loans and am in a town where I know I will be for more than 2 years), I am very respectful to ladies (notice that I said ladies), got the 401 k thing going, I’m health conscious, all that stuff, the whole kit ‘n caboodle, and all my friends are on the same level or better. I see all that stuff to be the norm. Hearing all these horror stories about the black man makes me wonder whether or not I am one at times.

Am I an oreo? Are all my friends oreos too?

But, no…….matter of fact Hell No I ain’t no damn oreo, and none of my friends are oreos either. I just think too many black women are looking in too many damn gutters trying to find too many damn “Black Men” that just need to be uplifted by their women to become a real MAN. Real talk.

I’ve said it before, if you are looking for a man, don’t go out with a boy, thinking he will grow up. We all know way to well that a lot cats now-a-days got that Peter Pan syndrome going on. Look for us men, we are all around. We are the cats that don’t have “Game”. We are the cats that you see in the grocery store that look you in the eye and say hello. You know, the dudes that might just have on some plain ol’ khakis or decent jeans and a polo or button up on, nothing too flashy cause we have been at work, not tryin’ to have a fly ass fit, but we getting our job done like we are supposed too….and a lot of times even better. Hell, believe it or not (cause I know yall have read my blog) kick it with the dude that doesn’t make sexual advances at you after the second date and don’t question his sexuality.

If you don’t like what I said then You can a) Blow me b) Blow me c) tell me where I am wrong, and why d) Blow me e) answer c, then answer a

-Nuttayballs

Opinions are like assholes….

2007-06-08T18:49:00.000-04:00

That’s what they say. I kinda agree. I mean really, if you like my opinion then you make me feel good, not unlike what I would imagine an asshole licking to feel like (I haven’t had it yet….) and if you don’t like my opinion then its like getting an asshole rubbed all on your face. You prolly wouldn’t like that, but I still think it’s funnier den a bitch.

PARIS HILTON HAS GONE TO JAIL.

So.

Fuck that bitch.

Just don’t do it with my dick…..that bitch is nasty.

It’s a million niggroes in jail right now and no one cares, so why should I give a quarter of a shit about this rich, bony-ass, non erection causing snow bunny having to spend a few weeks in Club L.A. County. I heard her jail clothes were “only” designed Ralph Lauren. Ol’ rich bitch.

I saw black Ho when I was in M-I-Yayo. She seems to be growing up some. Her weave was tight. Y’all haters can hate on her and say her hair aint luxurious, when y’all know it is.

One time when I was walking from the beach to the hotel some broad in a car and hollered out “Heeeyyy fat daddy”. It was cool, but she better be careful….messing around with this “fat daddy” will have her not being able to poop right for a week and walking funny for a couple of days. Oh yeah, its true.

So, I been kicking it with Bi-chick some what, and this chick never tells me that she enjoys my company or that she has a good time kicking it with me or anything. I can tell she is having fun when she is around, but she just doesn’t say it. Since I pay attention to that crap does it mean that I am still growing a vagina?

I like the way my junk looks bigger when I shave.

I don’t like the way my junk is itching because I shaved.

Real talk yall, I feel like I can make any damn woman feel like a billion and a half dollars. Fa real. And I find it very hard to believe that any chick, be her hardcore lesbo or not would not be attracted to my manliness in some way shape or form.

Oooooh, I saw what Tittayballs looks like on Facebook. The BULLY kinda likes….

The BULLY is thinking about changing his name to NuttayBalls. (My balls are big, kid)

I mean for real, my nuts are quite sizeable, ask Black Ho’s Mom. (I would so marry Black Ho’s mom if it wasn’t for Black Ho’s gun totin’ stepdadday)

When I was in South Beach….ha ha One time, in South Beach….I was walking with a homegirl and a few of her friends and I realized that the front of my pants was hanging flat. Like, no bulge (naw, really, I got some junk in the front) and that shit tripped me out. I was all calling attention to it and then Ol’ girl patted it down up front down there. Hell yeah I kinda liked it too. My pants were flat cause I had on boxers and my junk was just hangin’ straight down. She felt it. Too bad we won’t ever get our thing thing on. It would be great.

My girl Tiff is in love, and that’s so beautiful. It kinda makes me a little sad, though, cause that means that I know I can’t have sex with you. Hey, but if that negro ever messes up, I will fly out to Denver to realign that spine for you right quick.

Ok, real talk, is it possible to touch a chicks spine while getting guts? Naw, cause for real I did a slim chick once and I swear it felt like Steve rubbed on her lower spine.

-NuttayBalls