Nice Girls and Used to be Nice Girls

Kim is this chick, well I shouldn't refer to her as achick because she is probably older than I am, that up until today was a temp worker here at the flour mill. She is a pretty cute girl...err lady, sweet, nice to talk with, and married. The married part did not bother me much at all, wasn't gonna try nothing with her or anything like that because we work at the same place. Anyway she was really nice and we would talk about different things some times. She has interests and experiences that are not the norm , in some cases especially for females. One cool thing that she has done is that she got to spend some time with Jane Goodall (the Gorillas in the Mist lady) and she likes video games and we could talk about those. Anyway last night was her last night working here I guess she got a better, maybe full time, job down the street. When I got homeI noticed a little piece of paper under my windshield wiper. It was a little pink heart that said "I had fun working with you, Kim." that was really nice. Made the BULLY smile, I really appreciate little stuff like that.

A good example of a used to be nice girl is my ex. I say she used to be nice, but I don't really know if that was what really the case. Just so you understand, yeah I'm the Bully and all that, but when it comes to girls that I like.....I'm a real BITCH. I'm a nice dude, and some people, mostly females, like to take advantage of that. Outside of me being nice I get to be too trusting of people that I like just because I know I would not do anything mean or manipulative to them.

Everything was great between me and her. I really liked my ex, but I never felt completely comfortable with having a full blown relationship with her. Especially after I knew I was gonna be living 1000 miles away. I wanted to stay close with her but try out other people and all that. It only made sense to me. I mean I just graduated from school and moved away doing the real world thing and although I really did, and still do, care about her I wanted experience stuff. Anyway that wasn't enough for her. So now we have a half ass shitty friendship. Yeah we broke up almost a year ago but she still weighs heavy in my mind.

I say she used to be a nice girl, but this could have been how she always was, but I am jnow seeing clearly with out the cloud of emotions getting in the way. It bothers me that she might really be a not nice person when it really comes down to it, but it also means that I might have done the right thing by breaking up with her now instead of waiting till I was too rapped up in her to beable to get away.

I don't know. I still wish we could atleast have a decent friendship.

-the BITCH