The Monster that I Have Created
Ok, I know it has been a minute, I’ve been meaning to blog plenty of times and just never did cause I can’t ever get my sorry ass off of Black Planet, Myspace, Facebook, and yahoo messenger. I can’t blog from work cause the site is blocked, I mean, I can read, just not post. Lot of different stuff has been going through the head of the BULLY. I’ve been wanting to make a blog entitled “Mayonaise”. Its based of a Jeff Foxworthy “You might be a Redneck” dictionary thing. I mostly wanted to do it to talk about the women here in Bumblescum, S.C. It would have began: Mayonaise some bad body hoes in S.C…. I then later thought I would use it as one of those blogs thatI just bitch about a lot of crap that has been bugging me.: Mayonaise some bap ass hood ass backward ass Clubs in S.C……..Mayonaise some super Uppity Nigroes here in S.C. etc., etc. But I just read one of Shugs blog and it got me to thinking bout this shit that has been weighing heavily on the BULLY’s mind for a minute, so here it is.
Sooooo, I went to the Atl. Classic a few weeks ago. Your boy was in rare form. I was on that drank, I was on that dancing (Yeah nigga, this big ass Negroid called the Motherfuckin’ BULLY was killin the Pool Palace. Bending his Knees and rocking his hips) and of course you know that the Motherfuckin’ BULLY was on them womens. So I met a few chicks, I only really try to keep up with one of ‘em. This was the one that (and I told her this the night that I met her) reminds soooo much of my ex-girlfriend. The ex-girlfriend that I have bitched about so many times on here talking bout me lovin her and stuff. So we been talking and all that, me and “Cita” (I’m gonna call her cita like the Computer generated chick from BET. The first version, the Dark one with the silly hips) and she turns out to seem like a really nice chick. She is young though, 21, but she seems kinda mature. She is going to school for Pharmacy at FAM. Soooo we have been chit chatting on the phone for bout 3 weeks, and this weekend I’m going home to link up with old college buddies and drink and catch the FSU/BC game. I planned on seeing her some. I then found out yesterday that the Job thinks it would be good for me to go back to the Cairo plant for a couple of weeks and help get my machines running. (Some of mine are moving this weekend) So instead of being in Tally-Assy for a few days I’m gonna be there for a few weekends. The problem with that is if I spend that much time around this girl, I’m prolly gonna end up rippin………..
Yeah, I just said me rippin a chick is not a good thing, and yes I am feeling fine, I haven’t been knocked in the head or anything. I’ve kinda gotten out of the whole lets just rip chicks phase. I was that way for bout the past two years. It was pretty fun, had its highs and its lows, but all in all it was pretty good. The thing is I kinda created a monster doing that shit. I’ve kinda gotten to associating sex with meaningless broads. I’m afraid that me rippin ol girl will fuck up whatever relationship that we have. I mean I’ve gone for 2 years mostly out to just rip and in a few months, or weeks, dip. Its almost like after the BULLY breaks a broad a switch goes of in his motherfuckin head. A switch that tells the BULLY good job, you have broken another, now it is time to find still another cause this one is old news. This chick seems really nice and I don’t want to think about her that way. I don’t want to think of her as just another broken brizzle. Now don’t get this twisted. This sentiment is not just for her, but all nice chicks that I meet.
But there is still another part of me that says :”C’mon now….its just a little sex. If she wants it, and you know you want it, then just do it. You know she is a good girl, you won’t forget it.” But I am still just afraid of the MONSTER that I have made of myself. I know its still here and not going anywhere, that nigga is just keeping to his part of the world. I mean, I can still remorselessly rip brizzles and then remind them that “I’m not doing the dating or regular chillin thing.” And then be like “I already told you this, remember.”
What scares me the most is that chicks that dig me usually really want to have sex with me. I’m not trying to be cocky or nothing like that now, but it’s the truth. I guess its just some thing about the way I carry myself and treat women. I know its not from me being the finest, or most handsome or the coolest or nothing like that. I know I’m not any of that. I think it really boils down to me having a way of making people feel really comfortable with me. That and I am a kinda touchy feely person. Not creepy touchy feely though. I don’t know, but its something.
Anyway, I don’t want to fuck up something by fucking. But I don’t wanna not fuck cause it could be a really good thing. Or I could end up just being her brizzle, and me digging her, that shit has happened a few times, and as cool as it is to say “I got used for sex” it still really sucks.
Well that’s my current dilemma and or internal struggle. (Mikey, how is this for Battle of the BULLY and Mr. Pickles)
-I’m out.
Everyone Kiss My Ass
Sooooo, I went to the Atl. Classic a few weeks ago. Your boy was in rare form. I was on that drank, I was on that dancing (Yeah nigga, this big ass Negroid called the Motherfuckin’ BULLY was killin the Pool Palace. Bending his Knees and rocking his hips) and of course you know that the Motherfuckin’ BULLY was on them womens. So I met a few chicks, I only really try to keep up with one of ‘em. This was the one that (and I told her this the night that I met her) reminds soooo much of my ex-girlfriend. The ex-girlfriend that I have bitched about so many times on here talking bout me lovin her and stuff. So we been talking and all that, me and “Cita” (I’m gonna call her cita like the Computer generated chick from BET. The first version, the Dark one with the silly hips) and she turns out to seem like a really nice chick. She is young though, 21, but she seems kinda mature. She is going to school for Pharmacy at FAM. Soooo we have been chit chatting on the phone for bout 3 weeks, and this weekend I’m going home to link up with old college buddies and drink and catch the FSU/BC game. I planned on seeing her some. I then found out yesterday that the Job thinks it would be good for me to go back to the Cairo plant for a couple of weeks and help get my machines running. (Some of mine are moving this weekend) So instead of being in Tally-Assy for a few days I’m gonna be there for a few weekends. The problem with that is if I spend that much time around this girl, I’m prolly gonna end up rippin………..
Yeah, I just said me rippin a chick is not a good thing, and yes I am feeling fine, I haven’t been knocked in the head or anything. I’ve kinda gotten out of the whole lets just rip chicks phase. I was that way for bout the past two years. It was pretty fun, had its highs and its lows, but all in all it was pretty good. The thing is I kinda created a monster doing that shit. I’ve kinda gotten to associating sex with meaningless broads. I’m afraid that me rippin ol girl will fuck up whatever relationship that we have. I mean I’ve gone for 2 years mostly out to just rip and in a few months, or weeks, dip. Its almost like after the BULLY breaks a broad a switch goes of in his motherfuckin head. A switch that tells the BULLY good job, you have broken another, now it is time to find still another cause this one is old news. This chick seems really nice and I don’t want to think about her that way. I don’t want to think of her as just another broken brizzle. Now don’t get this twisted. This sentiment is not just for her, but all nice chicks that I meet.
But there is still another part of me that says :”C’mon now….its just a little sex. If she wants it, and you know you want it, then just do it. You know she is a good girl, you won’t forget it.” But I am still just afraid of the MONSTER that I have made of myself. I know its still here and not going anywhere, that nigga is just keeping to his part of the world. I mean, I can still remorselessly rip brizzles and then remind them that “I’m not doing the dating or regular chillin thing.” And then be like “I already told you this, remember.”
What scares me the most is that chicks that dig me usually really want to have sex with me. I’m not trying to be cocky or nothing like that now, but it’s the truth. I guess its just some thing about the way I carry myself and treat women. I know its not from me being the finest, or most handsome or the coolest or nothing like that. I know I’m not any of that. I think it really boils down to me having a way of making people feel really comfortable with me. That and I am a kinda touchy feely person. Not creepy touchy feely though. I don’t know, but its something.
Anyway, I don’t want to fuck up something by fucking. But I don’t wanna not fuck cause it could be a really good thing. Or I could end up just being her brizzle, and me digging her, that shit has happened a few times, and as cool as it is to say “I got used for sex” it still really sucks.
Well that’s my current dilemma and or internal struggle. (Mikey, how is this for Battle of the BULLY and Mr. Pickles)
-I’m out.
Everyone Kiss My Ass
posted by RAGING BULL at 6:51 PM
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