……….Am I an Oreo?
Aight, so….yeah, I read a lot of blogs and because all I do is piggy back of other people’s blog rolls (habitual lurker I am…..blow me!!) starting from the folks that I know I end up just reading black folks blogs. I mostly like to read womens blogs. Soooooo I read a lot of black womens blogs.
Why do I read black womens blogs you ask? I do it because I love yall. I was birthed by a black woman, raised by a black woman, pissed the hell off by a lot of black women, hurt by black women, I talk bad about a lot of black women, but I love yall….really, I do.
Anyway, the thing that comes up a lot is relationship stuff. Yall get to talking about all the stuff you want in a black man, and all the shit you done had to put up with a black man and all the problems with the black man and I beeessss like “Damn!!”. For real, cause, even though I see where a lot of y’all be picky and specific den a sumbitch, mostly yall look for stuff that, to ME, is just run of the mill type stuff. Putting emphasis on stuff like “He has to have a good steady job, have his own place, not be on drugs, be willing to take care of his kids, be respectful of women, not like to poke other men in the booty with or without their penis sometimes, have a car, blah blah blah blah”.
And the thing that bothers me most is where some black women feel that it is their place…ummmm their duty …..ummm social requirement, mandate by GOD himself to,…….if they don’t do it it just won’t ever happen thing. I’m talking about the notion that the black man NEEDS you to boost him up to fully be a man. Like a nigga’s spine is limp until you come along and boost him up.
I hate that shit!!
A woman try doing that shit to me is gonna get told “Bitch, back up off me!!”.
I take a serious offense to that type of shit. I am offended by that shit because I am a MAN. I am a BLACK MAN….I am a STRONG BLACK MAN. I’m proud. I’m confident. I’m the shit. I know my strengths and even more importantly I know my weaknesses. Someone coming in trying to “make me a strong man” says to me that you don’t think I am a strong man……..straight up questioning my status as a man. I believe a man and woman should compliment one another. I fully believe that, but I do not believe that it takes some woman to make me a Man.
Now, the oreo thing…..I have a good job, a nice newer car (the Max is now 3), a dependable ass old truck (I got a Ford Certified rebuilt motor put in that bitch at the end of January), I live by myself (renting, I want to buy something, but I want to wait until the max is paid off and I have knocked out a good bit of these student loans and am in a town where I know I will be for more than 2 years), I am very respectful to ladies (notice that I said ladies), got the 401 k thing going, I’m health conscious, all that stuff, the whole kit ‘n caboodle, and all my friends are on the same level or better. I see all that stuff to be the norm. Hearing all these horror stories about the black man makes me wonder whether or not I am one at times.
Am I an oreo? Are all my friends oreos too?
But, no…….matter of fact Hell No I ain’t no damn oreo, and none of my friends are oreos either. I just think too many black women are looking in too many damn gutters trying to find too many damn “Black Men” that just need to be uplifted by their women to become a real MAN. Real talk.
I’ve said it before, if you are looking for a man, don’t go out with a boy, thinking he will grow up. We all know way to well that a lot cats now-a-days got that Peter Pan syndrome going on. Look for us men, we are all around. We are the cats that don’t have “Game”. We are the cats that you see in the grocery store that look you in the eye and say hello. You know, the dudes that might just have on some plain ol’ khakis or decent jeans and a polo or button up on, nothing too flashy cause we have been at work, not tryin’ to have a fly ass fit, but we getting our job done like we are supposed too….and a lot of times even better. Hell, believe it or not (cause I know yall have read my blog) kick it with the dude that doesn’t make sexual advances at you after the second date and don’t question his sexuality.
If you don’t like what I said then You can a) Blow me b) Blow me c) tell me where I am wrong, and why d) Blow me e) answer c, then answer a
-Nuttayballs
Why do I read black womens blogs you ask? I do it because I love yall. I was birthed by a black woman, raised by a black woman, pissed the hell off by a lot of black women, hurt by black women, I talk bad about a lot of black women, but I love yall….really, I do.
Anyway, the thing that comes up a lot is relationship stuff. Yall get to talking about all the stuff you want in a black man, and all the shit you done had to put up with a black man and all the problems with the black man and I beeessss like “Damn!!”. For real, cause, even though I see where a lot of y’all be picky and specific den a sumbitch, mostly yall look for stuff that, to ME, is just run of the mill type stuff. Putting emphasis on stuff like “He has to have a good steady job, have his own place, not be on drugs, be willing to take care of his kids, be respectful of women, not like to poke other men in the booty with or without their penis sometimes, have a car, blah blah blah blah”.
And the thing that bothers me most is where some black women feel that it is their place…ummmm their duty …..ummm social requirement, mandate by GOD himself to,…….if they don’t do it it just won’t ever happen thing. I’m talking about the notion that the black man NEEDS you to boost him up to fully be a man. Like a nigga’s spine is limp until you come along and boost him up.
I hate that shit!!
A woman try doing that shit to me is gonna get told “Bitch, back up off me!!”.
I take a serious offense to that type of shit. I am offended by that shit because I am a MAN. I am a BLACK MAN….I am a STRONG BLACK MAN. I’m proud. I’m confident. I’m the shit. I know my strengths and even more importantly I know my weaknesses. Someone coming in trying to “make me a strong man” says to me that you don’t think I am a strong man……..straight up questioning my status as a man. I believe a man and woman should compliment one another. I fully believe that, but I do not believe that it takes some woman to make me a Man.
Now, the oreo thing…..I have a good job, a nice newer car (the Max is now 3), a dependable ass old truck (I got a Ford Certified rebuilt motor put in that bitch at the end of January), I live by myself (renting, I want to buy something, but I want to wait until the max is paid off and I have knocked out a good bit of these student loans and am in a town where I know I will be for more than 2 years), I am very respectful to ladies (notice that I said ladies), got the 401 k thing going, I’m health conscious, all that stuff, the whole kit ‘n caboodle, and all my friends are on the same level or better. I see all that stuff to be the norm. Hearing all these horror stories about the black man makes me wonder whether or not I am one at times.
Am I an oreo? Are all my friends oreos too?
But, no…….matter of fact Hell No I ain’t no damn oreo, and none of my friends are oreos either. I just think too many black women are looking in too many damn gutters trying to find too many damn “Black Men” that just need to be uplifted by their women to become a real MAN. Real talk.
I’ve said it before, if you are looking for a man, don’t go out with a boy, thinking he will grow up. We all know way to well that a lot cats now-a-days got that Peter Pan syndrome going on. Look for us men, we are all around. We are the cats that don’t have “Game”. We are the cats that you see in the grocery store that look you in the eye and say hello. You know, the dudes that might just have on some plain ol’ khakis or decent jeans and a polo or button up on, nothing too flashy cause we have been at work, not tryin’ to have a fly ass fit, but we getting our job done like we are supposed too….and a lot of times even better. Hell, believe it or not (cause I know yall have read my blog) kick it with the dude that doesn’t make sexual advances at you after the second date and don’t question his sexuality.
If you don’t like what I said then You can a) Blow me b) Blow me c) tell me where I am wrong, and why d) Blow me e) answer c, then answer a
-Nuttayballs
posted by RAGING BULL at 4:55 AM
4 Comments:
You know what? I am a black woman, 24 on Wednesday (happy B-day to me!) and very independent and self-sufficient and I LOVE this post! (You prolly didn't think I was going to say that, lol). But I like it because it's true. I like it because I was THAT female who felt like I had to mold some boy into a man. Many women miss out on real men because a)they don't know where to find them (seriously!) or b)they're lives/situations are not together and they don't want a man who can and will call them out about it. So this is an excellent post. I eventually learned that B was my problem. I fixed that and now I'm suffering from issue A. But ya'll are out there and I'll find someone who compliments me soon.
Great post!
Damn...I don't know what to say Bully. That was a really good post. That's something I learned a long time ago though. You can't make someone into what you want them to be so I don't try anymore. Either you got it or you don't. But I do feel like you were talking to me on the whole talking to the cat that doesn't try you on the second date. It's almost like we expect it to happen so when a guy doesn't do it, we don't know what to think.
Wow...now this was truly unexpected. Until I read Shug's comments I honestly had forgotten you were "The Bully".
I like this post a lot. Especially the second to the last paragraph.
I actually like regular dudes and loathe the flashy wannabe baller type, but inspite of that when I see regular dudes (in the supermarket, on the train to work, in the deli at lunchtime, etc.), I kinda get tunnel vision because I don't really SEE them...if you can understand that.
So anyway, you have opened my eyes. I'm going to try to stop ignoring them.
You are correct, you and your friends are not oreos, youre just regular dudes. And, honestly, its been sooo long since Ive met a man who doesnt try me on the FIRST date, I wouldnt know what to do with myself if I happened onto one of those "post-second-date" dudes, lol.
L
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