Aint this a bitch.........

How do muthafuckas at my job know when I actually have my shit together and I am actually ready to conduct my meeting and actually know what the hell I'm talking about and then NOT show the fuck up.....................All the other times when I was about to fall asleep (in my own meeting mind you), have incorrect info written on the agenda, not be able to answer the same question that has been asked for the past 3 weeks in a row and then try to push the questions onto my tech.

Ok, I just read some of Kiki's muthafuckin blog and I read the entry about her being a flirt and that dudes....well everyone should be completely honest and open and up front about their wants, needs and expectations all early on and all that. I think that it is smart shit, but how are you supposed to do that shit when your desires and motives are so damn far what others would think to be true that it don't make no sense.

Really......I mean...what would I look like telling my chick I want to just sleep over with her and spoon and shit. She is gonna think 2 things. 1)She is gonna think I am trying to get in them draws and 2) She is gonna think that I think she is stupid. Neither of which s a good thing.

Naw.....here is what is crazy. How am I kicking it with a chick that I call girlfriend (it easy doing that shit....) and I have never slept over to her place. Never laid in the bed with her. Ok...ok, ok....I think I should carry a decent part of the blame for that. We were making out one night a few weeks ago and started getting kinda hot and heavy and she goes "Come see how comfy my bed is" (it was the bed in a guestroom right next to where we were standing). Ok to be honest I didn't feel right about sexing her up right then and there just like that.....I kinda want it to be special......

WHAT THE FUCK???????

Did I really just say that. I might need to go somewhere, put in JT Money's first Album and some old UGK and let it marinade for a minute.

Anyway, I really wasn't trying to just jump all up in them guts, but I felt like I had to take that oppurtunity cause I did not want to leave her feeling all insulted and dejected by me not taking the seemingly offered up koose. I prolly should not have even tried since neither my heart (who actually kinda had Steve to co-sign). I wasn't smooth, went for it too quick instead of taking my time thoroughly heating things up before I even undressed her. Took her top off, took my shirt off, went to get her pants and she was like "I'm not ready for all that."

Never has your boy ever been so relieved to have a chick make me STOP from getting at the guts.

Anyway, I think that might be maybe keeping her from wanting to take the risk of inviting me into nan bed with her. But honestly...eventhough it turned out awkward I would do it again. I'd much have her think that approach sex like a 15 year old than have her thinking that I don't find her attractive enough to try to pounce on.

-the BULLY