I'm not sure I'm ready
Yeah, soooooo I'm gonna apologize now to any of my readers that potentially may be insulted by this.
Jaila, Shay Shay Le Boom (Maybe I should say boom boom cause both of her boobs are big, not just one. Ha ha....lopsided boobies are funny. Not all the time...I mean most of the time I can't even notice. But I remember when those strap on one side shirts were in style. They already make your boobs look funny, but then you would see chicks with like a B and a D and that shit would be all types of fucked up....and why do lopsided titty havin ass chicks wear tube tops?.....) Kaliente, Amazon and whomever else that reads this and it strikes close to home.
Yeah, soooo back to the regularly scheduled blizzog.
Yeah.....so my homie, Lil Nigga, called me up last night to see if I was watchin the UFC shit (Season Premier of the Ultimate Fighter). We got to shootin the shit and I hear a lil kid in the background.
BULLY: Whose kid is that in the background?
Lil Nigga: That's my girl's.....She moved in with me.
BULLY: .......DAMN nigga......You's a better nigga than me.
So, yeah, that shit kinda threw me..... I really got to thinking about it. I'm not against kicking it with/dating a chick with a kid......but being fully committed and getting that whole insta-family shit just does not sound like the business to me.
I'm sorry.
Shiiittt, and its not that I don't want kids...its the exact fuckin' opposite. I really do want kids, but I want my own. I would love to have a couple of cute little mini-BULLies running aound. The idea of being a father to some other dude's seed is soooo un-attractive to me. Raising up kids is a big deal. Its the most intesive, heavily invested thing you will EVER do. The thought of investing my self, my life, my money, my time and my emotions in someone else's genetic continuation when I don't have my own legacy. I ain't got my own BULLY Jr. I wanna be out one day at a ball field watching Lil BULLY runnin around fuckin up Mark Buster Jr. I don't see me getting the same fulfillment outta cheering for Mark Buster's kid against Johnny Blow.
Now, there are a few exeptions......well, I can only think of one big exception. If the kids are fathered by family...blood or not. For real, I don't want my boys havin kids and not considering me for Godfather and shit. If one of my boys had kids and for whatever reason they needed me to take care of theirs ..... I'd be all over parenting and loving them nigglets like stank on shit.
The love aspect.... that's what my more sensitive, Sweet Nigga side reminds me about. I know that once you get to know nigglets and get involved with them the whole "Love 'em like they were yours" type shit is supposed to kick in. Why do I half way have faith in that happening? What do I use to argue the point to myself?
Again, I apologize.
I figure that if I can love a puppy like he was my own, then I guess I can love a kid like my own....... i guess. (Shiiiittttt, a nigga loves his lil sister's min-pin.)
Really, though, whether I would rather get with a chick that has a dog instead of a kid doesn't really matter. What does is that I would halfway give it a chance.......I guess.
Here is my question. How do women view dude's accepting them and their kids? Do y'all even look at the whole picture? Do you really take the whole dynamic into consideration?
Or are y'all stuck on the one single thought of "I have a kid to raise and he better just deal with it."
Jaila, Shay Shay Le Boom (Maybe I should say boom boom cause both of her boobs are big, not just one. Ha ha....lopsided boobies are funny. Not all the time...I mean most of the time I can't even notice. But I remember when those strap on one side shirts were in style. They already make your boobs look funny, but then you would see chicks with like a B and a D and that shit would be all types of fucked up....and why do lopsided titty havin ass chicks wear tube tops?.....) Kaliente, Amazon and whomever else that reads this and it strikes close to home.
Yeah, soooo back to the regularly scheduled blizzog.
Yeah.....so my homie, Lil Nigga, called me up last night to see if I was watchin the UFC shit (Season Premier of the Ultimate Fighter). We got to shootin the shit and I hear a lil kid in the background.
BULLY: Whose kid is that in the background?
Lil Nigga: That's my girl's.....She moved in with me.
BULLY: .......DAMN nigga......You's a better nigga than me.
So, yeah, that shit kinda threw me..... I really got to thinking about it. I'm not against kicking it with/dating a chick with a kid......but being fully committed and getting that whole insta-family shit just does not sound like the business to me.
I'm sorry.
Shiiittt, and its not that I don't want kids...its the exact fuckin' opposite. I really do want kids, but I want my own. I would love to have a couple of cute little mini-BULLies running aound. The idea of being a father to some other dude's seed is soooo un-attractive to me. Raising up kids is a big deal. Its the most intesive, heavily invested thing you will EVER do. The thought of investing my self, my life, my money, my time and my emotions in someone else's genetic continuation when I don't have my own legacy. I ain't got my own BULLY Jr. I wanna be out one day at a ball field watching Lil BULLY runnin around fuckin up Mark Buster Jr. I don't see me getting the same fulfillment outta cheering for Mark Buster's kid against Johnny Blow.
Now, there are a few exeptions......well, I can only think of one big exception. If the kids are fathered by family...blood or not. For real, I don't want my boys havin kids and not considering me for Godfather and shit. If one of my boys had kids and for whatever reason they needed me to take care of theirs ..... I'd be all over parenting and loving them nigglets like stank on shit.
The love aspect.... that's what my more sensitive, Sweet Nigga side reminds me about. I know that once you get to know nigglets and get involved with them the whole "Love 'em like they were yours" type shit is supposed to kick in. Why do I half way have faith in that happening? What do I use to argue the point to myself?
Again, I apologize.
I figure that if I can love a puppy like he was my own, then I guess I can love a kid like my own....... i guess. (Shiiiittttt, a nigga loves his lil sister's min-pin.)
Really, though, whether I would rather get with a chick that has a dog instead of a kid doesn't really matter. What does is that I would halfway give it a chance.......I guess.
Here is my question. How do women view dude's accepting them and their kids? Do y'all even look at the whole picture? Do you really take the whole dynamic into consideration?
Or are y'all stuck on the one single thought of "I have a kid to raise and he better just deal with it."
Labels: baby mommas, Gettin' Old, le sigh, Pretty Heffas, Real Talk, snoo snoo, UGH Bitch, What I like in a woman
posted by RAGING BULL at 6:46 PM
12 Comments:
I respect a man's choice and decision to not date a woman with children. I realize that because I have kids (2) that I am immediately labeled as "not datable".
What I would like men to realize is that there are different types of "woman with kids" which carry their own pros and cons.
I am more than just a single mom. I am a hard working woman who puts in on average 50 hours a week on the job. I am a full time college student with a 3.8 GPA and honor society member. I have 401k, investments, savings, car, house, college funds for my children yada yada yada. Sometimes I'd wish that men would consider the ENTIRE picture and not just discount me/us because we have child/children.
These same men ask us to look past any criminal activity he may have had, any gaps in employment, the lack of a college degree in some cases, his credit rating, etc. You see where I am going.
I respect a man knowing that an instant family is NOT what he wants. I just want to be seen as more than "oh shawty got kids"
First off, now I think everyone thinks I have different sized titties [can you correct that, thanx:)].
Let's see, there is only 1 person since my daughter's father that I have gotten serious with that has been around my child. So I don't really have too much experience on it, and I'm not offended by your honest thoughts. You are the Bully and I luv that.
Back to the point. If I was starting to really like someone then I would want to make sure they would be alright with having my child around, cuz if they think she's going somewhere, it's not gonna work. If they can't accept that, then there is no point in a relationship with said dude. All other "fucking" aspects aside, I would just know not to bring my child around them.
I take care of my own, always have and always will, so I'm not looking for a replacement daddy for her. But if he wants to really be with me then he has to accept and love her. Not necessarily like his own, but they at least have to get along.
I'm upfront about it when I meet new potentials, and unless we're getting serious, it really doesn't matter to me if they have a problem with an instant family, because I don't bring her around any dude that's not gonna be around for a good while. And any dude that is gonna be around already knows the deal.
There are a lot of aspects to this kind of situation.
I luv you Jaila and I know you are great.
And you know my nerdy college grad ass does not have a criminal record, any lapses in employment and/or a super low ass credit rating.
Really though, do you ever think about what you are asking of a dude? Whole picture or not?
starting with this: "Sweet Nigga side" That makes me want to not deal with your snapping turtle porn producing ass!
I've seen the pitfalls of the insta-family with my brother's situation (which I don't know if I've told you but hit me up and remind me if I didn't... cause he fell hard for some shrew's kids to the point of doing all the activities and shit... until she divorced him while overseas and denied him the seeing of the kids ever again)
anywhoo Me personally I'd Really really really prefer no kids on a dude because I'm not so kid-hot myself anyways, and because is a lose situation for me in that:
A) Dude with kid needs to be a good daddy, thusly NOT make you his priority
B) he makes you his main priority, thusly making him a shitty daddy and why would you want that anyways???
"I wanna be out one day at a ball field watching Lil BULLY runnin around fuckin up Mark Buster Jr. I don't see me getting the same fulfillment outta cheering for Mark Buster's kid against Johnny Blow."
-this blog is also another on the list that i have banned myself from reading at work.
a bitch spat out some snapple laughing @ this mess.
i feel u tho. but sometimes men arent men, and cant take care of their own shit...like, if you love her enough and are willing to make the sacrifice, what the hell.
it is about the kids after all.
-KB
Hi I'm new and all that shit...lol...anyway...
Personally...this is exactly why I dont have kids and havent given any SERIOUS thought into havin them now bc the man who fathers my childern is the man that I would like to spend my life with. I dont feel like it the obligation of another man to take care of someone elses kids. That, AND the fact that I dont want to be undateable...bc i know I discriminate when men have kids and stuff...
However, if a man chooses to take care of children that arent his, I totally respect that...i just dont want it to be my kids he gotta help take care of =/
Thanks for coming around, Pink. I love having new booty up in here.....now HOLD MY POCKET!!!
yes bully it is a lot to ask. its tremendous. which is why I am still single and dont date that often.
What i said wasn't directed towards you but in general to the dudes who share your point of view.
With the divorce rate as high as it is, there are a lot of woman who are considered not datable unfortunately.
question for ya. in ten years ill still be young, have one that is away in college and one grown and out my house...does my status then change?
yep, sure does.
I feel you on this one Bully. I wouldn’t date a guy with kids either, for some of the same reasons that QQ layed out. two of my best friends have 2+ kids, and I see their dating woes. But really, all they can do is respect the fact that a man can keep it real, because regardless of how harsh it is, or can be, an insta-family ain’t for everybody.
I respect your views I really do,
I have a ready made family and I let dudes know that on site no surprise. I only dated one guy after my childrens father but he has 3 kids as well so we came together like the Brady bunch and did the damn thang! Lol
here's my take bully and i'm gonna get all soft nigrapino for a bit on this one:
a woman with kids is still a woman. and when you decide to get into a relationship you decide to get into a relationship with the whole woman, kids and all.
it is hard to take on the responsibility of raising someone else's kid because you do invest so much, but the flip side to that is that if you're on point and do it correctly, you're the man in that kid's life.
i know plenty of people who have looked to someone else as their daddy and have been plenty pleased with that.
but you're right to want to approach a situation like this with caution because if it doesn't work out (your fault or not) you and the kid(s) will suffer.
"Ni66@, I don't wanna hear your damn story!"
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