I'm not even gonna title this shit

Holy shit.....my weekend has sucked.

Shit, 2010 has been sucking........and no one has been sucking on me....not even a little bit.....not even a lick lick lick kiss "Is that good enough?"

So, yeah, my b-day is in Feb, so that means my car registration is about to expire, so that means it's time to get my vehicle registered in Md. ........Yeah, that's totally gonna be like $600 to get the car and the trizzuck registered and shit. Oh, but wait, Md has Vehicle inspections....that shit is gonna run me atleast 60 bucks per vehicle......oh, and Md. has like the most strict vehicle inspection criteria in the motherfuckin' country.....not a problem for the sexy lil Maxima, but the Old Bitch....yeah, that's gonna be a problem.....

Shit that I know is gonna have to be fixed/replaced/removed to pass inspection:
-Limo ass tint has got to go (that's that bullshit...STRAIGHT UP. I've had that dark tint on my shit for like 6-7 years....it has enabled me to get my fuck on in a pretty public place....like in the parking lot RIGHT in front of a Hookah Bar. Fuck you......at least she was my girlfriend...and not yours....our someone's wife.)

-Muffler...gotta gotta put one BACK on the truck. Yeah, it was perfectly fine until I crawled under the truck one day with a hacksaw in hand.......Yeah, that shit def upped the redneck level of the truck by a few notches....it was/is awesome.

-Leaky ass power steering unit: Who gives a shit???? aint like I didn't disconnect that shit and rode out with it for like 6 months.....hhmmmm that gives me an idea. If I disconnect it again, and let all of the fluid run out, then hey.....no leaky ass power steering unit....no problem (Yeah, I think I just figured out how to beat the system. So fucking what if you have to be a damn MAN to steer that bitch. I'm a damn MAN, if you can't handle it, then keep yo bitch ass out of the driver's seat)

-Door handle....So, part of the inspection criteria is that you must be able to open all doors from the inside and out......yeah, my whole driverside door handle situation is fucked.......straight FUCKED. Like, even if I could find another door handle fixture and shit to put back in there, it wouldn't matter because the sheet metal that you are supposed to mount it to is torn.......it doesn't bother me to wind down the window and open the door from the outside, why does it bother you and or the state of Md.??? ....bitch

-Emissions....they check that shit too..I don't know for sure if my emissions are gonna come out bad, but seeing how I have had issues with my exhaust gas recirculation system....I'm pretty sure my shit is dumping a few extra chemicals into the atmosphere. Maybe I will remedy that by installing a lil cotton ass filter whilst I am putting in my new cheap ass muffler.......yeah, I went on line and found the cheapest muffler that I possibly could find. It is like $27. I'm gonna clamp that shit on as shittily as I possibly can....and hope like hell that shit falls off in the parking lot RIGHT after they give me my inspection sticker saying I passed.

Yeah, your vehicl only has to pass inspection once. That pisses me off, like I there has to be a billion other old ass cars in Md that are shittier than my truck, but since they were last bought/sold when they were new/pretty new they easily passed inspection and can now rot afuckingpart....but the truck (Mind you, it will be 15 this summer) has to go through this shit. Straight Byoolshit.


The Verizon vs AT&T commercials are tripping me the fuck out. Lemme preface this part of the rant with a joke. (Yeah, I stole this shit from Micheal Conyers.......I'm sure most of y'all don't even remember him)

So.....a mouse and an elephant are walking through the jungle.......just coolin out and shit...smokin' on a fat ass blunt. The elephant was bogartin' the shit out of the blunt, tomboutsum "Bitch, I'm big as fugg.....I gotta hit this shit longer....the logistics on this shit is bananas..."

Anyway.....

The motherfuckas are walking through the jungle and the motherfuckin' mouse falls in a big ass hole...like fell all the way to the bottom of that bitch.

The elephant, higher than a muhfuggah is like "Aye lil nigga, don't even sweat it...I gotchu" This big sumbitch pulls out his dack and drops down into the hole.

The mouse is PISSED ".....the fuck wrong witcho big ass?"

Elephant "Naw, muhfuggah, no homo, but you can run up my dick and be out the hole n' shit"

So, the mouse ran up on the elephant's dick and made it out the hole and was all happy and shit, but made sure to wash the shit outta his feet cause the elephant used to fuck a lotta hoes.

So, a few weeks later...they are out kickin it again. Walkin' in the jungle.....smokin a blunt (the mouse made the elephant buy this time)

So, yeah, they are walkin' and shit and all of a sudden, the elephant falls in a huge ass hole. The mouse is like "Hey, homey, don't even sweat it.....I gotchu" Mouse runs off, and shows back up about 45 mins later....with his mercedes.

The mouse hollars out the window "Hey, dog, reach your long ass Gonzo from the Muppets ass nose and grab my bumper. Grab hold of my bumper and I'll pull you out"

So, the mouse pulls the big ass elephant out of the hole and all is well.

Moral of the story...if you have a Mercedes, you don't need a big ass dick.


So, Verizon and AT&T is such a dick contest. Verizon is all "Hey America, look how big my dick is....my dick is big and red and covers up yo big ass tv screen, motherfuckah." and AT&T is all like "Nigga, look how good I am with my moderately sized dick.....look at what I can do and how well I can do it. So what if you dick is big, Verizon, nigga you still don't know how to fuck. Nigga, my stroke is SICK, son." And verizon comes back like "Yeah, well...my dick is HUGE kid.....mother fuckin huge....nigga, they call me DANGLE in this motherfuckuh."

AT&T is like "So, bitch, you still cant work them corners and side walls like me......who gon' check me?"


So, yeah, again I realized that Md. Has some wack ass laws. I had a run with that shit this weekend. Led to a really shitty weekend...gonna cost me a super grip ass grip (Yeah, so that shit is on top of the shit for registration and truck repairs and oh, yeah, the $1400-$1700 dollars worth of dental work I need done because I started grinding my teeth in my sleep after I lost my job) Shit aint too good for your boy right now.

So, I have a friend, a female friend that I have been super nice too, sympathetic to her fucked up ass situations and shit. Taken her out, bought her food and drinks, let her stay in hotel rooms with me a couple times, free of charge, I've spent countless hours on the phone with her while she cried about her ex-boyfriend and shit...actually if you go back a few years a bunch of cock blocking ass hours in person too. I've been stupid nice to chick. Stupid nice, especially considering I'm not even trying to fugg. She ain't ugly, and under normal circumstances I damn sure would have tried to put some in her hair, but she is the ex of one my best friends...yeah, E-dot, I'm talking about your girl.

So I tell her about my FUCKED up weekend (via yahoo im), she asks if I am serious about what I told her and then goes on to talk about how she just saw someone get beat down by the cops or some shit. Like...my fuckin' problem didn't matter worth a shit. And believe you me, my shit is/was pretty really seriously fucked.

Yeah, she can thank her damn self for losing someone, that she has said herself, was one of her best friends that has always been there for her.....good job, B.

Ummm what else????


......Idk

I guess I'll save some for later.


-the Muthafuggin BULLY

Dear Regularly Sex Having Muthafuchahs

FUCK YOOOOUUUUUUAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Naw, seriously........fuck you.


.....Ugh

Yeah, so my mood is getting all fucked up. And I've been through this before. I know what i am getting into, and what it will turn into. When I was in Texas I went for a long ass time without getting any guts, and when I finally did.....OH. EM. GEE.

Like.....that shit changed my whole perspective on life and the world and all that shit. After I got that long due non manually achieved nut, the birds sang prettier, the sky was bluer, the sun was warmer and brighter.....fuckin Rush Limbaugh wasn't that bad of a dude and Bush was actually a pretty aight President. And I was happy and had that "Everything is gonna be alright" feeling.

Now....I'm just a little pissy.

But I'm getting worse.

I've slept with....yes, JUST SLEPT....like cuddle a little, like platonicly, with my homegirl (We have always just slept together and stuff...not on a relationship type thing,just on a "hey, this is nice" type thing). We have done it twice. The first time it was cool. The second time not so much. I was like "We aren't gonna be doing this for long......this platonic shit isn't what I want and I am just gonna get pissed and be like fuck all that.

I think I am at that point now......like 3-4 days later.

My pissivity level is increasing exponentially. ....fuck that linear shit. (non math peeps, Google a graph of y=a+bx and y=x^n then compare.......yeah, nigga, I'm assigning homework)


I kinda wanna see if I can finish out 2009 with out having secks....but I might end up flippin the fuck out on a mofo.....if around the middle of November y'all hear about some thick ass Mighty Joe Young ass looking nigga running around the DMV grippin up women's asses and slappin the shit out of their boyfriends.....then you will know the strain was too much for my feable little sanity.



-the Muthafuckin' BULLY

......Ugh

I'm tired.

The weather is all shitty, like grey and a little rainy.

Traveling all last week has kinda knocked me off of what was becoming a decent sleep routine, and hydration regiment.

I am feeling a little homesick. Like.... there is just stuff going on back home and I feel like I should be there for my mom and sis.

Top 3 things going on at home:
1) Moms is kinda sick
2) My sister is dating some dude (not that he is a bad dude, but I would like for her to be with someone that is doing more with his life, but he seems nice and he is making my happy so that is what is most important)......there was some drama that started over a rumor (I hope thats all it was) (And since my sis is dating dude that leaves her less time to spend with moms)
3) My Dad's brother died on Saturday and the funeral stuff is kinda stressing moms out because my dad's fam has been straight up dicks to her before (I don't fucks with my dads fam....)
4) I'm missing the Amazon....yeah yeah yeah, I don't think she was right for me and all that, but I do care about her and feel really close to her. I don't bitch about my problems to many people. Not like personal emotional type stuff. And when I mean not many I mean like only Moms and the Amazon and my sis. And I had gotten to the point to where I talked about more stuff to the Amazon. And I miss the little stuff like watching tv and shit with her and like when I am run across cool restaurants or museums or some shit, the first thing that goes through my mind is "Ooh, I should bring the Amazon here, she would love this". And I think like If I miss doing all of this with her why do I not with her. And I guess it goes back to her not being right for me. I miss her when I haven't been with her, but the feeling fades after being with her for a while and spending extended periods of time with her.

I don't understand that shit.



So, anyway, there is a void left by her. Pretty damn big void. (Yeah, your boy is open........like i spend time with a nice chick and I want more.....and mmmooooorrrreee. And to make things worse, I think going through this whole no job thing has made me a lot softer. I don't handle adverse situations well.)

I ended up hanging out with her some on Sunday night. It was hella cool, but then it kinda wasn't. It wasn't the same (big surprise there). The differenceness built up in me which led me to abruptly leaving.

I wish I never went over there.

I went because she called me to get some stuff I had left over there, like a couple old t-shirts and a pair of old ass sweatpants. I was kinda hoping that meant she just wanted me to come over so we could hang like we used to do.

Yeah, well, its my bed.....I gotta lay in it.....I gotta lay in it by mydamnself.

-Mr. Pickle

You know what really grinds my gears?????

Bitch ass, punk ass, sissy ass, Yankee ass, metro ass rules of fuck ass fashion.

What the fuck!!??!?!!

Why can't a man just put on some decent clothes that match and don't stank and be good?

Naw......a man gotta make sure his jeans are of the right darkness and shit for the certain time of day and shit. Thats some ol' weak ass metrosexual punk ass shit.

What ever happened to men being men and letting women be women? Man be tough, woman be pretty?

And you know what makes me even more pissed?


That if I don't follow those punk ass sissy ass dressing rules then I look like a fuckin' tacky douche.

I hate looking like a douche.

Now I gotta make sure my darker jeans are dark enough to be worn at night and shit.

That shit is sooooo hella homosexual.

Maaaannnnn I wish I could just put on some fuckin man ass clothes, look like a fuckin man and be happy. What do I want to wear tonight? I wanna wear my fly ass "Power to the People" T-shirt with my favorite Levis, but are my levis dark enough? Even though the party's dress code says casual....are all the sissy ass dressing greeks and shit gonna be casual and shit? Am I gonna show up in a button up and dark jeans, be all ornery feeling, cuss out the chick I'm gonna be gettin all giggity giggity with and fight some old ass frat guys?

I don't know.....maybe I shouldn't drink.....or maybe I should just drink before I go....and hope I'm mellowed out before I get there.

Fuuuuucccckkkkk I pre-paid for this shit.

Fuck it.

I'm gonna rock out with my cock out.


-the Muthahfuckin' BULLY

I'm not sure I'm ready

Yeah, soooooo I'm gonna apologize now to any of my readers that potentially may be insulted by this.

Jaila, Shay Shay Le Boom (Maybe I should say boom boom cause both of her boobs are big, not just one. Ha ha....lopsided boobies are funny. Not all the time...I mean most of the time I can't even notice. But I remember when those strap on one side shirts were in style. They already make your boobs look funny, but then you would see chicks with like a B and a D and that shit would be all types of fucked up....and why do lopsided titty havin ass chicks wear tube tops?.....) Kaliente, Amazon and whomever else that reads this and it strikes close to home.

Yeah, soooo back to the regularly scheduled blizzog.

Yeah.....so my homie, Lil Nigga, called me up last night to see if I was watchin the UFC shit (Season Premier of the Ultimate Fighter). We got to shootin the shit and I hear a lil kid in the background.

BULLY: Whose kid is that in the background?
Lil Nigga: That's my girl's.....She moved in with me.
BULLY: .......DAMN nigga......You's a better nigga than me.

So, yeah, that shit kinda threw me..... I really got to thinking about it. I'm not against kicking it with/dating a chick with a kid......but being fully committed and getting that whole insta-family shit just does not sound like the business to me.

I'm sorry.

Shiiittt, and its not that I don't want kids...its the exact fuckin' opposite. I really do want kids, but I want my own. I would love to have a couple of cute little mini-BULLies running aound. The idea of being a father to some other dude's seed is soooo un-attractive to me. Raising up kids is a big deal. Its the most intesive, heavily invested thing you will EVER do. The thought of investing my self, my life, my money, my time and my emotions in someone else's genetic continuation when I don't have my own legacy. I ain't got my own BULLY Jr. I wanna be out one day at a ball field watching Lil BULLY runnin around fuckin up Mark Buster Jr. I don't see me getting the same fulfillment outta cheering for Mark Buster's kid against Johnny Blow.

Now, there are a few exeptions......well, I can only think of one big exception. If the kids are fathered by family...blood or not. For real, I don't want my boys havin kids and not considering me for Godfather and shit. If one of my boys had kids and for whatever reason they needed me to take care of theirs ..... I'd be all over parenting and loving them nigglets like stank on shit.

The love aspect.... that's what my more sensitive, Sweet Nigga side reminds me about. I know that once you get to know nigglets and get involved with them the whole "Love 'em like they were yours" type shit is supposed to kick in. Why do I half way have faith in that happening? What do I use to argue the point to myself?

Again, I apologize.

I figure that if I can love a puppy like he was my own, then I guess I can love a kid like my own....... i guess. (Shiiiittttt, a nigga loves his lil sister's min-pin.)

Really, though, whether I would rather get with a chick that has a dog instead of a kid doesn't really matter. What does is that I would halfway give it a chance.......I guess.

Here is my question. How do women view dude's accepting them and their kids? Do y'all even look at the whole picture? Do you really take the whole dynamic into consideration?

Or are y'all stuck on the one single thought of "I have a kid to raise and he better just deal with it."

My life since the last post

Ok, yeah, I have been wanting to post something new for a whizzile, but I wanted my boy, the Gringo, to have a long time of exposure up here. Wanted e'rybody to read his ish.

Anyway, there has been a good amount of fun shit going on muh life. I have gone from being single and lonely, banging out my bottom broad on the weekends due to neccessity, and being a little lonely to dating 3 chicks and being the owner of an approx 3 yr old Yorkie named Paco (Short for Apocalypse).

Yeah, pretty good times.

Lets get into the meat of things......

First new chick...the Hairdresser

I met her at a restaurant/lounge thing. She was givin mad attitude and I was diggin it. We hit it off, we ended up kickin it latenight at the beauty parlor where she works and she sold me some razorbump cream for my face.

We have kicked it a couple of times, had a good time together. She told me how she didn't want to do anything with me early into getting to know each other. Well....if you bring shit up like that around more than a couple times I'm gonna take it as a challenge. I'm competitive as hell and I like to win.

Sooooo one night she took me out to dinner, and while we were out she said something like "I like my men to have a little thug in them". yeah, she asked me if I had any thug in me and a nigga was like "Nope!"

She goes "If something goes down I need to know I'm with someone thats gonna take care of me"

Me: "Naaawww, I will be QUICK to call the cops. I mean, yeah, I'm a gun toter, but that shit is for just in case...emergency type shit. IfI can avoid using it/getting in any kind of shit I will. I have waaaaayyyy too much going on for me in my life to blow it on some no count mofo."

But I still gave her the benefit of the doubt, figured maybe that was her country ass way of saying she likes a protective type dude. We leave the restaurant, go back to her place, kick it, she brought up the not doing anything type thing........I smashed and left. She then sent me messages tombout she shouldn't have done that....now I was gonna just see her the same as the other chicks that I was/am knokin' off and all that. Well....she shouldn't have challenged the BULLY. I like to win.

Next day or so I get a text and she is all geeked up about a pic I have on myspace with my lil sis. We have gold grills in our mouths. They are fake, but were fun as hell. She was mmmaaaddd geeked over it. I talked to her later that night and she says something about She was surprised that I would have a grill seeing how all my friends were white......I was like "WHAT??? Did you even look at my top 8?"

her: Oh, well, all the people in your pics are white. (and then kinda quietly, under her breath says)"It would explain how you talk"

I asked what the hell she said and she was like "Nothing...there is nothing wrong with the way you talk" and all that.

I told her how much it pisses me off when folks want to call me white or white acting/talking.

Anyway, I saw the comment she left on said pic on myspace and that shit said something like "I knew you had some thug in you. Keep it up!"

That shit is sooooo UUUGGHHHHH to me. Her ass is being phased out as we speak. Right now she is at the "Not getting text messages replied to stage" Which will shortly be followed by the "Your whole thing about liking thugs has really turned me off from trying to pursue a relationship with you" type talk. I'll tell her we can be friends, but that is about it.

She was the only thick/kinda big chick on the roster.

The other 2.....little slim chicks. The biggest one (The High School Crush) weighs about 120-125 (She is great arm candy...anyone that I know that has seen her always tells me she is pretty) and is around 5' 4". They are both really sweet. The other one...I'll call her little ass Fiesty, cause she is, is a Grad Student at a little University 'round here (she is cute as hell too). She says she just loves to cook and all that and is showing hellafied amounts of interest (Like inviting me to go with her to a beach vacay where her whole fam will be). I likey her little bold ass. I don't even think I'm gonna hollar at anymore chicks for a while. I'm good with just my 2 little chicks that you could combine their weights and they still not weigh as much as the BULLY.

Oh, and I competed in Highland Games this weekend and kicked much ass.

And yeah, I have a Yorkie now. Ok, he isn't really mine. He belongs to a female friend of mine that is too busy to really keep him.. Since I kinda want a dog, but don't have room for a dog the size that I want I got Paco.

-the BULLY