This is Why I'm Hot!!

Soooo, yeah, today is the MuhFukkin’ BULLY’S birfdizzle. HA!!.......HA!!...I am feeling extra cocky. It’s the 26th and I am turning 26….my moms says that means this will be a special year for me and all types of good ish is ‘posed to happen. I hope so, like maybe I’ll meet the future wifey, or get up in a nasty all night alcohol and red bull fueled manag-a-freak with a couple stout thangs with nice hips and well shaped tits. (Stoli and Red Bull is the ish and always gets me through long, hard, sleep depriving party weekends) I haven’t been in a gym since early December, but I feel great….no, really, you should touch me cause I feel great. The calisthenics thing is going pretty gosh darn well. Here is what I do in the mornings: I kinda do a circuit thing I start with pull-ups (6-10 depending on how fatigued I am) then I go to the bent knee (bout at a 120 degree angle) leg lifts for the abs (mostly lower) I get 10 of those, then I go to the hindu squats with calf raises I get ten of those then to push-ups I get 30, then to the lower back exercises I start by standing with my feet shoulder width apart, lace my fingers behind my head, then bend over until my torso is parallel to the floor, while keeping my back flat and legs almost straight, and then I stand back up, I get ten of those. (Yeah, I gotta keep that back strong for y’all ladies…….thats how I can apply all that pressure...pressure…pressure…pressure) I go through this 5 times non stop, I alternate my had grip from overhand to underhand for my pull-up sets. It takes about 15 minutes for me to go through it all, if I finish around 12-13 minutes, or only go through it 4 times I hit the punching bag for bout 3 minutes.

But, yeah, I am feeling damn good. I bought myself a really nice pocket knife and a Florida State ball cap and my moms and sister gave me some monies and I am so good. I really have been wanting a nice pocket knife forever, I’ve always just had the $7-8 ones that won’t hold an edge to save your live, but this bad boy cost $40 before tax. It is so nice and smooth feeling when I open it. Yeah, I know, I’m a simple man. I am straight geeked over a damn pocket knife. I’m simple, but I am happy and content with what I got. I had a pretty decent date on Friday, didn’t give her a kiss or nothing cause she ate garlic mayonnaise and onion rings and horse radish and brii cheese on her sandwich. I called her out on it and then gave her a good-night handshake. Pretty nice girl, she sent the happy birthday text last night, bout 12:04, making her the first person to tell me happy birthday on my birthday. Cool.

-the BULLY