Is this the beginning of the end for the BULLY.......Prolly not.

Well, I think it is almost time for me to (as me and my boy from Va. Call it) start “singing Usher songs”. That’s what we would say when we would get in our “Oh I need a girlfriend” kick. Buuuutttttt, this is also another way that I can tell that I am growing up, but I am still kinda having that duality of the BULLY vs. Sweet Nigga. It is kinda hard for me o explain. But I understand it sooo much in my head. What is happening is tha instead of having completely different agendas. They are coming to a decent compromise. Still not quite in the middle, the BULLY usually wins out, but close.

If you don’t know what the hell I’m talking bout with the battle of Sweet Nigga and the BULLY then it probably means you don’t really know me. I’ll explain. The BULLY is a lot like like a real bull. For all you city folk a bull just wants to have his women and run around and smash ‘em, and if another bull comes around to try to smash with his women the original bull will go over and mush the new bull. That is all that goes through a bull’s mind. Smash and mush. Passion and aggression. The other side of me, Sweet Nigga , is just that really sweet. I mean really nice, caring blah blah blah. I mostly go through kicks when one side or the other will win out over the other more or less. When it comes to women and relationships this ends up being me wanting to just rip broads or wanting to settle down with one for a while.

Things are different now cause I really just feel like kicking it with chicks, rippin ‘em here and there, but trying to get to know broads to find one that I do wanna try to kick it with. Something like normal people do. Much better than sweet nigga kickin’ in when I’ve kickin with a chick that I rip with a lot and tying to be with her.

I’m anxious to see how this works out.

-the Pickle

P.s.: MMMMaaaaaannnnn, I need to get me a woman before I move back to Cairo/Tally….. or atleast shortly after. There be some fine ass employees in dis binph. I’m gonna get myself in trouble.

Stuff that is funny to me

I haven’t done a lighthearted blog in a while. I’ve been stressing like all summer over money and women. Mostly money (part of the money thing was finding a job. (being a broke grad student is for the fuckin birds)) So here is a lighthearted one. Not feeling so stressed. Not worried bout no damn women. Hannah Palmer and her twin sister Left Hannah Palmer are gonna be taking care of me plenty well for a while and I don’t even have to worry bout taking them broads out to shit. Don’t have to hear ‘em talk about nothing, or worry bout them messing with other dudes, and don’t have to worry bout no Q.T. when I’m done. Hannah and her twin sister are fuckin wonderful.

Since I just got through talking about ‘em Hannah Palmer and her sister aren’t funny to me, but they do make me happy.

I was just looking at someone’s wedding pics on facebook, and it made me think of this. It is always funny to me when there is like one big girl in a Bridal party and that one big girl has to wear a completely different dress from all the other girls. Or when there is that one chick with really big titties, or no titties at all and they have to wear something else. (This shit also extends to thefat dude in the highschool band that had to wear sweats while everyone else wore the uniform)

People that put up pics of themselves smoking weed and stuff on Facebook. They will never be able to get a job.

Spinning Hubs

White chicks with bellies that hang over their belts, but they still want to wear Belly shirts.

Somethin’s naked pics on the web. (Oh yeah, its true. The Bully has seen her nekket pics online already)

How Flavor Flav eats chicken.

The H.R. lady at my new job that just assumed I was going to be an hourly employee, even though I was in nice business casual attire. When she found out I was going to be in engineering she said “Oh, I thought I saw you in there being smart” Translation: Damn, well that explains why you didn’t sound like Tom from “Tom and Jerry” when he sang that song (Is you is, or is you ain’t my babeeeyyy…..)

Pregnant chicks in the lub

Poking Black Hoe in the eye when she is drunk. (She just stands there looking at you and never closes her eye or turns her head……Hilarious)

The 30 something single chick in my office. She is well on her way to being the cat lady.
Scrawny mofo’s that wear UnderArmour everything in the gym. (These cats be in there with the shirt, the draws, the socks, that little dumbass stocking cap thing, and be like “Spot me bro.. I’m going for ten” and then be doing like 105 on bench.

Macy Gray’s hair.

That Black chick that got kicked off “Flavor of Love Season II” for fighting. “You want some lip chap?”…….”Please, God, forgive me for beating this Bitch ass……..Please forgive for thinking about Beating this bitch ass again, God.”

Shawn Wayans really being gay and trying to throw us off by always acting gay.

That’s it. WhenI first started this I thought I would have a long list of stuff to write. But after the fat chick not being able to wear the same bridesmaide gown I kinda fizzled out.

Oh, well.

Oh, yeah, when babies fart all loud in church. That trips me out too.


-Mister Pickles

When keeping it real almost went terribly terribly wrong for a teeny tiny nigga.

This shit here happened close to the beginning of the summer. I just found it. I lose track of blogs, or forget to post 'em cause at my old job I couldn't post to my blogsite. At my new job I think I will be able to. And seeing how I can't access Facebook or Myspace from the new j-o-bizzle I'll be getting back to regular blogging. Anyway, this blog here is good ole shit. Enjoy.

Last week, Thursday night as a matter of fact, I was kicking at my niggas going away party. There’s so much shit I could talk about that situation, from his new girlfriend with a nice size pot belly, and a fucked up attitude, to how this nigga is well......, maybe I'll talk about that more later. Anyway, cats was over there bullshittin, dranking, smoking, they got some of that Cush shit (cush is that new new. It is to crippie what crippie is to regs.) They start to smoke that shit towards the end of the night while some folks are leavin. While the door is open I see some white chick standing at the door. I'll be the first to admit that I am still a little closed minded about the whole interacial couple thing. And not even so much as the interacial thing, but the whole black white thing. Ok, the BULLY is kinda racist maybe, or maybe I just don't understand how a minority and a non minority could be completely on the same page, seeing how their lives have been molded under completely different situations. I digress.

Anyway, I sees the white chick and I'm all like "Who's white chick is that?". I really kinda thought she was at the wrong door, or had just missed one of the niggas that had just left. Some of the cats that had left were those type of dudes that fuck a lot of broads. I was quiet, she couldn't here me. It ends up being that she was the girl of this little nigga, and she took it at as an insult when she was called white because she was Italian. Silly me, I must have missed the memo that explained how Italian became a race, and not just a Nationality. Ok, its all good though. I apologize to him for callin her the white chick. Its all good.

So they start smoking and I'm standing round and kinda flick ol girls hair. Just playin', everyone likes to mess with high people. It gets bad cause her and ol boy take that shit to be way too serious. They start bitching, I start telling them "Hey, I was just bullshitting....calm the fuck down." Seriously, i was just playing around. They get on the whole "Do you know me, do you know me? Then why you tryin to play with me?" bullshit. I stick to my point of telling them its not that serious and that they need to calm the fuck down. After a while, ol' boy takes a a real dominant stance, puts on his manly voice and look and tells, commands, orders me, the Motherfuckin' BULLY to not touch his girlfriend again. Thats when I start thinking I might have to beat this nigga's ass. I start thinking this cause 1) I don't like being told anything by anyone. 2)When a nigga mouths off like that to a nigga that has him by 4-5 inches and 120 pounds he is feeling pretty ballsy and anything could happen. 3) He was trying to show off for his girl, something that has gotten plenty niggas straight WORKED (When keeping it real goes BAD) 4) The beer bottle that he was holding and how the grip he had on it tightened.

I swoll up on him, just some shit that everyone does, its subconcious, kinda how a dogs hair raises all up to show how big and mean looking he is. Its just more noticeable on me cause I'm huge to begin with. I end up settling down cause I'm thinking this little 130 lb nigga and his bitch are just high, I'm gonna let them slide. It would have been real bad. His high and drunkass would not have been quick enough to actually hit with the beer bottle, nor would he have had time to recover and try to punch me. It would have been a straight one man mushfest on a scrawny nigga and his bitch (I know she would have jumped in and I'm an equal oppurtunity ass kicker) and I really felt like when that nigga came down from his high he would have not been so pissed.

I hollard at my boy that is friends with him a few days later and he said that teeny tiny nigga was still hot. That means that there is a chance that I might come cross that pint sized nigga again one day and have to make his shoulders touch or something. I don't want to, I don't like to fight, I think that shit is terrible and un-cool and all that shit, but I know I will never let anyone or thing ever get the better of me. It happended once, and that was enough. I'm so serious about that. I'll try to avoid that shit, but If i can't, then I gotta do what I gotta do. Be it man, woman, child, or animal, something will get mushed and it won't be me.

-you know who dis is

Ok, I still don’t understand it, but now I’m insulted and pissed.

Sooooo, yeah, sometimes , more so come here lately, I step back and re-evaluate my roster. Chicks that aren’t as nice looking as I would like, or that I can’t have a good convo with and cuddle and shit, or even chicks that just plain out ain’t at the quality level that I want get cut. You combine that with the fact that I deal with college girls, girls that leave town at the end of semester or graduate or something and I end up with no one to kick it with. I just finished cutting down the roster. I wasn’t trying to have no relationship or nothing but I was cutting down to pretty much one chick. I knew there would not be anywhere near the amount of pipelaying that I would have liked , but I’ll sacrifice that shit anytime to be kicking it with a cute smart funny chick that I genuinely enjoyed kicking it with. I ripped once. It was good. I enjoyed my self and she did too, or so she said. (That is gonna be another blog. Chicks always telling me I make them nut a lot and stuff. I know chicks fake. I know they fake a lot. I’m not saying I make every chick bust, but if I don’t its has been times when I know I wasn’t doing my job. I just get the feeling that sometimes I think I’m doing a good job and she tells me I’m doing a good job that she has to be lying. I really feel like I get told that I am good too damn much. Seriously. The only thing that I can think of that might make me good is maybe I have one of those really well shaped penises, but my one good shaped penis should not work on all cootchies. Is it normal for a man to question his own abilities?)

I thought there were gonna be more rip sessions, but she got really busy cause it was the end of the semester and she is doing the 5 year joint for SBI. I had stopped kicking with this other bi-chick in favor of her and had stopped looking for new ass for the time being. She stayed super busy and when she was done with the school shit her brother came down to visit and then they left town for the break. My back up plan also left cause she graduated. Forbidden chick left town. That sucks cause I only did her once too. I put it down, but I like to break chicks atleast 3-5 times to get that “I feel comfortable enough to really show you how wild and freaky I truly am.” break session. I get better too as I get to know my females body. (Yeah I said MY FEMALE. Even if we aren’t in a relationship I still kinda feel like she is mine. It helps them to feel more comfortable and it is just the type of dude I am. My allure is that I am a man. I am the protector, take care of shit type dude. I really think that is what is really my best attribute. Chicks will dig whether or not I am spending hella time in gym or not. Fewer chicks dig me when I’m not in the gym, but that is how it is.)

Anyway, before I drag this shit out any farther, with no real point in sight….. It is now Thursday and I still haven’t heard from Ol’ girl that I made my last blog about. I’m pissed cause my roster is basically at zero. I don’t really have anyone in town that I can break, or just go and chill and hang out with. That is why I have acted like a whiny bitch over this whole situation. Under normal circumstances I would be like “Oh, you just wanna play with the BULLY, ….well fuck you too. I won’t even remember your name in a week and a half anyway.” But she caught me at a weak point. And what really messes me up is that I don’t understand why she did this. She called me. She brought up ripping and all that. I really would have been happy kicking it with her. She lives close to the crib too. I’d be like “Fuck PS2. I’m gonna go watch a movie with Ol’ Girl”. Oh fucking well. She got me.

-Mister Fuckin’ Pickles

I don't understand it

The same basic thing has happened to me 2-3 times this past week. It is pretty fuckin frustrating. The first time it happened this week I got a message from this chick on Facebook. She is one of those people that you are friends with that you only know from seeing them around at parties and shit all the time. Here is the message that she sent me ver batim

"i dont know if maybe im being tooo foward or what you got going on...but i just wanted to let you know...if your interested...id like to hang out sometime...or something....i dont know what you think...but let me know...."

I thought about it for a day and sent her a message telling her it would cool, it would be nice to hang out with her and all that, and sent her my number. Did she ever call me?...Nope. What the fuck? Why go outof your way to send me a fucking message asking to hang out with me and shit and then not fuckin call me when I send you my number. Thats a bunch of bullshit.

The other time was this chick that I have known since highschool. She was a couple of grades behind me, but she was cool and we kicked it a little. We lost touch after I graduated from highschool, but ended up seeing each other around from time to time. Anyway a month or so ago we end up exchanging numbers. We talk a couple times, but it never really went far. Just a little small talk here and there. I get a call from her this past Thursday night. I was bout to go in the club, but I sat up in the parking lot for half an hour talking with her. It was good convo. I call her back around 3:30am later that night and we sat up and talked till damn near 6am. Really good convo. I got to see a little bit of the kind of woman that she has grown to be. I liked who she had become. She is an arrogant asshole, kinda like me. I like chicks that remind me of me.
Anyway, she calls me again at like 10 am. She thought I was leaving for O-town much earlier than what I was, and was just checking on me to see how the drive was going. We only talk for a minute. We end up talking more while I was at work, and out of nowhere she asks me when are we gonna .....ummmmmm.......you know. (Giggity Giggity) She was all like you know its gonna happen and there is no poin in beating around the bush. Caught me off guard. I kinda hoped it would happen, but it wasn't really all that serious. I'm always happy to have a nice chick to be able to just talk with and not have to worry bout sex. Seriously, I get tired of just fucking broads. Whatever.

We talk more while I am driving to O-town and a litte more when I get there just to let her know that I made it there ok. I end up drunk dialing her at like 4:30am, no answer and understandable....it was late as fuck. I call her saturday afternoon.....no answer, so I leave a message. I don't get called back. Sunday afternoon I call......no answer, so I leave a message. I don't get a call back. After writing this out and reading it I realize that I am being a dumb bitch and trippin' over nothing. I am too spoiled and used to getting females to go right along with whateverthe hell I want. Its only been a couple of fuckin days and I am all bitchin' and shit.

Ok, I'm straight now. But this not calling a nigga back shit does really make me wanna break her way more. Damn women.

-the BULLY