The Valentine’s Day Blog

Yep, well it is Valentine’s day, and how is the muthafuckin’ BULLY feeling? Lonely, maybe a little depressed, sad, maybe happily thinking about the his plans for the evening with an everso lovely brizzle? Hell naw, none of those. I’m pissed. Straight pissed. Partly cause I haven’t had no izzass since the beginning of January. Partly cause of the ass I got at the end of December.

So , yeah, remember a few posts ago when I wrote about how me an the Ex that I always bitch about had kicked it some and it was all to the good and we were getting along and I was soo happy about it and all that, well I ripped. I wasn’t even the initial pursuer. She wanted to do it. I really didn’t want to. Honestly I didn’t. I mean….hells yeah I wanted to throw my junk all up in her, she was lookin gooder then a mug, but I knew that shyt would not have been right. I knew how much emotion would be tied up into that and I just didn’t wanna go there. I sooooo really didn’t, but it happened. I was cool with it. It didn’t really change much. It made me wanna see where things were gonna end up a little more, but I wasn’t thinking that it meant we were all of a sudden something.

Anyway, we kicked it a time or so after that and then one night she asked me the question again “What are we doing?”. I told her I wanted to kick it with her and just see where this would lead, just get to know each other again type stuff. That was not what she wanted. She told me that she just couldn’t be half-way involved with me. She said that she couldn’t just kinda invest herself in me, it would have to be all or nothing and she did not want to fully throw herself into that with me and me not be ready to do the same with her.

It really sucked. I felt like I was going through the same old break up all over again. It was like the worst feeling type of déjà vu ever. What made it even worse was when I told her “Damn, I feel like we are breaking up all over again.” She is all like “We can’t break up if we were never together.”

That kinda hurt.


She ended up explaining her theory that since I never explicitly told her “I want you to be my girlfiriend…..I want you to be with me and no one else.” Then we were never b-friend and G-friend……..Fuckin Bullshit!! Like I wasn’t always at her place, like she didn’t spend the night at my momma’s crib, like I didn’t kiss her in front of my momma nem, like I didn’t get phone calls to her apartment, like my female friends didn’t always tell her how much I talked about her when she wasn’t around and how they would damn near know her before they even met, like I wouldn’t wipe tears from her eyes with my naked finger (I’m talking bout them random tears that just happen sometimes for no reason…….other peoples’ tears used to really kinda gross me out, and she knew that, so for me to touch them was big) Like we didn’t have our little frozen pizza and break and bake cookie parties. (Late at night, usually after a lot of sex we would throw on clothes and go to Albertsons and get frozen pizzas and two types of break and bake cookies and then eat way too damn much….it was great) Buuuutttttt, nope we weren’t BF and GF. BULLSHIT!!!


Anyway, I just got to thinking about it all and really started to think that se prolly brought me back in to her and fucked me and then kicked me back to the curb just to fuck with me. Even if its not true, I know that I don’t even wanna try to be cool with her no more. I mean, maybe I’ll shoot her an email here and there, but no more of the go hang out every now and then thing. I’m done. Like I wouldn’t be surprised if she tries to take me out for my birthday (12 days from today), but I already know I would have to decline that one.........or will I just get punked by my soft ass emotions again?

Oh well.

-the Pickle

Aimless pursuit of an unknown goal

So, I read that “share my world” blog everyday (the addy is http://www.ptygrneyez.blogspot.com/). This chick is writing about her life and how she has a dream of being blah blah blah blah blah blah and all of that (If you wanna know exactly just go read about it your damn self……bitch). You know she knows what she wants to do and all of that goal specific type shit and makin’ all this sacrifice and all that. She is doing one of those crazy, super ballsy type moves and stuff to realize her dream, and as with all of that crazy ballsy shit that people do, the intelligence behind it all will be determined by the final outcome. This relates to the Muthafuckin’ BULLY how?.......

Well, I have my own goals. Not so much like hers, but I have them. Mine are much less defined, really quite vague. I wanna be happy. I wanna be happy then, and I wanna be happy now. I wanna be happy with the job, but moreso than that I wanna be happy with whatever family to come. I mean, well, maybe I am not that vague when it comes to my job. I know that I wanna stay technical. I really don’t wanna be a bunch of people’s manager and all that. I do want to have clout, but I want it to come from more of a respect thing than a “Yeah, he is my boss’ boss’s boss, so I have to listen to him” I wanna be the dude that just flat out knows his shit. I wanna be the guy........ the company guru on something. Technical design, Product development, that sort of thing. I wanna still be able to go out and get my hands dirty even though I am making well over 150K. My goals are somewhat focused, but what I am really focusing on is how I get to that point. That’s my way.

For really really to me the most important thing is the journey. That’s where everything is learned, that’s where the foundation is….its in the fuckin’ journey. The journey is also determines how great the goal is in a way. I mean, you can never get time back, no matter how well successful or rich or powerful or what not you can’t get time back. I don’t want to get to the end of my journey and then question myself. I don’t wanna be sittin up wondering about the stuff that I missed out on or fucked up because of my journey. I know everyone says you can’t have your cake and eat it too, but to them I say “Fuck you, you dumb bitch!!! I can have whatever the fuck I want” Well not really….well it really depends on my mood, but what I really think about it is that I’m just gonna slowly eat my cake. I mean, you can’t enjoy but one mouthful at a time anyway. I’m gonna be eating my cake all through out my damn journey, and still have some at the end. Is the bully making any sense now? I don’t know if I am.

Basically I’m gonna enjoy my life all the way through.

Fa real.

I love lamp

Wilmer Vadelerama (Fez from that seventies show) talks like a sissy

I once had relations with Ellen Degeneris

-the BULLY

My favorite place to be…./ This past weekend

Aight, these 2 titles really have nothing to do with each other, other than I was in my favorite place to be this weekend. I just wanted to write about both and since I am in the Blogging mood I figured I’d kill two birds with one stone. (I’ve been feeling like blogging a lot lately, but just have not felt like sitting down and doing it) Anywayyy……..here it go.

So, I really don’t know who reads this thing anymore. Sooooo here is a little background for those of you that don’t know the MuthaFuckin’ BULLY: My Moms bought me a brand spanking new F-150 for me back in the Summer of ’95. It was for me….it was not my “Daddy’s truck” as so many people are asses enough to assume, My mom sacrifice and took up a second job and all that shit to by me a nice new safe vehicle. She did it all by herself for me. My dad was not a part of it cause he was, is, sometimes, prolly always will be, to a certaint extent, a CRACKHEAD. Yeah I said it……..The sad part is that most of you reading this will think I am just being silly, but nope my pops is a real live “I smoke rocks, Joe Rogan.” Crackhead. Yeah, that shit could be a whole ‘nother blogger page in itself.

Anyway, yeah, I have had this truck since I was 14. I fuckin’ love that damn thing. I don’t love much, well really I love three things, the rest anything in this world could pretty much go far far away and I would still be pretty straight. Those three things are 1)My Mom and My Sister 2)My Dog, Asia (That bitch done ran away) and 3) My Truck. These are the only things in my life that I truly feel will always be there for me no matter what. I have told chicks this before and I fuckin mean it “No, you will never come before my mom or my sister……it’ll be awhile before you can get in front of the truck”. Matter of fact I have only told one girl that I missed her more than the truck…that damn Monique. My truck is my security blanket and it is a constant reminder of my Mom’s love and willingness to sacrifice for me.

The motor in My truck went out on me bout 2.5 years ago when I went out to Texas. When I went back to Tally for school it was ok for me to kinda drive round town, but after a while I couldn’t even do that. But, the good news is, though, that last week I got a re-built motor put into it and now I’m rollin rollin rollin like an X-pill in the Big Green Truck and it feels soooooo good. Today during lunch I just sat in it and turned up the bass (you know I got that KNOCK sittin on the back seat) and just chilled. It just felt so good. My favorite place to be is sittin in that damn truck with my music up. Its just hella relaxin.

This weekend, I rolled out in the Big Green Truck, didn’t crank up the Max once. I partied with the Asian Posse…them cats are tons of fun. Went to the Asian Frat’s party Saturday night and that joint was jumpin. Them cats got strolls and chants and all that just like the Black frats. It was pretty tight. I met this black chick that my boy kept on pushing me at. I gotta call her and see whats up, I gotta try to slip her the Kack before my birthday gets here. She has a big plus on her side, she might be a cool chick to kinda kick it with, I mean, she is only 22, but she does have a very good appreciation for beer. That shit is sooo cool to me cause I am kinda a beer connisuer mydamnself. Check it, I offered her a beer, she accepted and when I gave her a Tucher and she actually recognized it as a good beer. I’m gonna have to take her to this Spot called the Leon Pub. Just a little beerhouse, but they have tons and tons and tons of different beer…………..Yeah, I have been in Tally long enough to know about all these little cool spots. It helps to show the difference between me and the stereotypical “Local”.

-The Muthafuckin’ BULLY

My favorite place to be…./ This past weekend

Last week

Aight, these 2 titles really have nothing to do with each other, other than I was in my favorite place to be this weekend. I just wanted to write about both and since I am in the Blogging mood I figured I’d kill two birds with one stone. (I’ve been feeling like blogging a lot lately, but just have not felt like sitting down and doing it) Anywayyy……..here it go.

So, I really don’t know who reads this thing anymore. Sooooo here is a little background for those of you that don’t know the MuthaFuckin’ BULLY: My Moms bought me a brand spanking new F-150 for me back in the Summer of ’95. It was for me….it was not my “Daddy’s truck” as so many people are asses enough to assume, My mom sacrifice and took up a second job and all that shit to by me a nice new safe vehicle. She did it all by herself for me. My dad was not a part of it cause he was, is, sometimes, prolly always will be, to a certaint extent, a CRACKHEAD. Yeah I said it……..The sad part is that most of you reading this will think I am just being silly, but nope my pops is a real live “I smoke rocks, Joe Rogan.” Crackhead. Yeah, that shit could be a whole ‘nother blogger page in itself.

Anyway, yeah, I have had this truck since I was 14. I fuckin’ love that damn thing. I don’t love much, well really I love three things, the rest anything in this world could pretty much go far far away and I would still be pretty straight. Those three things are 1)My Mom and My Sister 2)My Dog, Asia (That bitch done ran away) and 3) My Truck. These are the only things in my life that I truly feel will always be there for me no matter what. I have told chicks this before and I fuckin mean it “No, you will never come before my mom or my sister……it’ll be awhile before you can get in front of the truck”. Matter of fact I have only told one girl that I missed her more than the truck…that damn Monique. My truck is my security blanket and it is a constant reminder of my Mom’s love and willingness to sacrifice for me.

The motor in My truck went out on me bout 2.5 years ago when I went out to Texas. When I went back to Tally for school it was ok for me to kinda drive round town, but after a while I couldn’t even do that. But, the good news is, though, that last week I got a re-built motor put into it and now I’m rollin rollin rollin like an X-pill in the Big Green Truck and it feels soooooo good. Today during lunch I just sat in it and turned up the bass (you know I got that KNOCK sittin on the back seat) and just chilled. It just felt so good. My favorite place to be is sittin in that damn truck with my music up. Its just hella relaxin.

This weekend, I rolled out in the Big Green Truck, didn’t crank up the Max once. I partied with the Asian Posse…them cats are tons of fun. Went to the Asian Frat’s party Saturday night and that joint was jumpin. Them cats got strolls and chants and all that just like the Black frats. It was pretty tight. I met this black chick that my boy kept on pushing me at. I gotta call her and see whats up, I gotta try to slip her the Kack before my birthday gets here. She has a big plus on her side, she might be a cool chick to kinda kick it with, I mean, she is only 22, but she does have a very good appreciation for beer. That shit is sooo cool to me cause I am kinda a beer connisuer mydamnself. Check it, I offered her a beer, she accepted and when I gave her a Tucher and she actually recognized it as a good beer. I’m gonna have to take her to this Spot called the Leon Pub. Just a little beerhouse, but they have tons and tons and tons of different beer…………..Yeah, I have been in Tally long enough to know about all these little cool spots. It helps to show the difference between me and the stereotypical “Local”.

-The Muthafuckin’ BULLY

Crazy Fuckin' Cubans

So I was listening to the radio this morning while I was getting ready for work, the news break came on and they said sumthin’ ‘bout the city commission in Miami was planning for some great big festival/celebration/party/cotillion thing at the Orange Bowl for Castro’s Death……..What the fuck? A city approved celebration for the death of a man? Them damn Cubans are crazy as hell. I mean, yeah, Ol’ Fidel is commie and all that and sent all them crazy folks to Miami and he must have told Hurricane Andrew to F’up Miami too, by how these folks are actin’. I mean, yeah I’m hella cynical and all that but damn…I mean really. A city approved party in the Damn Orange Bowl for a man’s death………Niggro Please!!!!!

Hearing that crap helped me to realize how much I should pay attention to the news. I’m so super unattached until it is not even funny. I watch digital cable, listen to satellite radio and C.D.’s. I thought about how good it would be for me to try to listen to local broadcast radio and then got in my truck and turned up the C.D…..Cock Cock Cock and lean..Can I hit from the back….hit it from the back. That is what I listened to instead……..Oh well, I guess I just got my morning information from Ricky Fuckin’ Ross instead. Oh well.

Anyway, I talked to an old friend last night on the phone. We haven’t actually talked to each other in forever, just been facebooking each other mostly. She is a really cool girl, I think she is my type. I met her back in the summer of ’03. we interned together, I tried to get my game on with her, but instead I ended up almost fighting her…….literally. She was a button pusher. I’m not stable enough to deal with that crap, she pushed and pushed aaaannnndddddd I snapped. We were both being pretty immature about the whole thing and prolly being a little too much like each other. What really stood out to me about our short convo last night was how she didn’t sound like her normal overly confident cocky smart ass self. Not quite.

She is lonely. She has been at her job in Ohio for bout 6 months and doesn’t know anyone. No one to do anything with or nothing. I got to thinking bout it and really thought about how not everyone can be strong all the time in all situations. Only the truly strong can be strong in the face of adversary. It kinda made me feel better bout myself because I know that I am strong enough to handle somethings that other folks that I know and respect for having strength can’t. And not wanting to seem like I am taking joy in her unhappiness, but I kinda like seeing that she is a little vulnerable. I don’t know why. Ahhhhh, I know why. I liked it cause it was a glimpse into the unguarded her. She might end up being my wife….we made an agreement that if we aren’t Married or envolved by the time I am 28 then we are gonna get married to each other. I hate it when I know nice chicks that live far far away and or are involved.

-the BULLY

I love country

Circa November 2006

So, yeah, I’m just sittin here at work snacking on some boiled peanuts. Yep, that’s right, boiled peanuts at my desk, in the office. Right in the engineering department for Wrap and Weld and I can chill out, eat some boiled p-nuts and share em with a couple co-workers. What makes it even better is that I bought ‘em on from a dude that drives a forklift here at the job. He sells the boiled p-nuts off the back of his Fork truck. Straight country.

I love country. I love country livin’. I love a cute ass girl with a real sweet southern drawl. Damn, I love a sweet soundin’ southern drawl on girls. I just don’t love being so damn far away from every fuckin thing that I wanna do. No movie theaters, no fight gyms, no Jamaican girls, no nothing. I wish I could find me a country town, that is right next to the city and that would be my ideal place to live.

I’ve never been in any sort of relationship with a country girl. I gotta do that. I’ve been with big city girls, girls from the projects, island descent girls, but no country girls. I could sooo see me marrying a country girl. Yeah, lets add that to the list: Country Girls and Island girls. There have been a couple country girls that I have tried, but never got with; I don’t know why, maybe I was just too much Me. Just flat out too much BULLY.

Oh well, I’m not really worrying bout it. I’ll get me someone plenty good one day. Until then I’ll just continue to have fake long distance relationships.

-Mr. Pickles

I had a revelation last night

End of October/Beginning of November


I had a revelation last night. I realized after talking with my homeboy that I try too hard to get and or keep good chicks. Here it is…..ok, I am genuinely an incredibly nice person. I’m really thoughtful and caring and compassionate and all that shit that girls like and say that is all they want (That’s that Sweet Nigga). Buuutttttttt I am also a sarcastic, aggressive, take charge, smart ass, overly cocky, really physical (that is both for sex and non-sex situations) MAN (That’s that N.N.C.). What I realized is when I go after a good chick that I think is keeping material I give them way too much Sweet Nigga and not enough N.N.C.. As a matter of fact I even might go out of my way to give them Sweet Nigga, and then when it doesn’t work out I get all mad and frustrated cause I done put so much effort into it. When I just link up with broads that I wanna bang out and I give em a whole lot of the N.N.C.. Sometimes I go out of my way to give em some of that N.N.C. Usually it just makes ‘em dig me more. I mean I’ve done stuff like after I rip ol’ girl try to hit her friend. Matter of fact I’ll ask ol’ girl whats up with her friend. I do the only call and or see me when I…notice I said I…..wanna poke. Chicks dig ya boy more than you might expect when he does that crap. I will admit, though not all girls go for that type of crap, but you would be surprised how many really do. When I start trying to be nice to keep a girl, it never goes anywhere.

So what I’m gonna start doing is giving chicks 62% of the N.N.C., and the other 38% is gonna be straight Sweet Nigga. Its all about balance. Hopefully, with this approach things will work out better. Hopefully with me not being 100% N.N.C. I won’t have to worry so much bout sex coming up too soon with a good chick, and hopefully I won’t be grimy enough to run a good chick off, but still have enough grime to keep her attention.

Oh, oh yeah, I’m bout to put Operation: Don’t Call Cita anymore. Uuhhmmmm, here is a little secret, I’ve never told anyone this before, at least I don’t think I have before. Sometimes if I’m kinda digging a chick I kinda put on that I am feeling her way more than I really am. So, I’ve still been calling and talking to her a little, now out of the blue I will just stop calling. I think its kinda funny.

Oooh, a funny example of this is of this girl, I think I named her Triflin’ Chick or something. She is the chick that I went out with that was friends with my ex’s sorors. Anyway, she told me early on that she usually gets all weirded out with dudes after she does certain things with em, and usually never talks to them again, I’m talking see ‘em in public and act like they are not even there type crazyness. Well, we did some things and we still talked for a while, but sure enough she started igging all my calls and texts. I would try periodically, but to no avail. So, a couple weeks ago while I was driving back to Tally I sent her a guilt trip text. I said something along the lines of I was so nice to you, and went out of my way to do stuff for you blah blah blah. I got a response, like I’m fine, how are you. My response to this long awaited little bit of communication….here it is: Wow, I have to try to guilt trip you to get a response….That is messed up. You just keep doing you.

She should have kept on ignoring my texts. Cause now I own the last laugh, hahahahah!!!!

-N.N.C.

Well.......

Circa early September 2006

Well, I think it is almost time for me to (as me and my boy from Va. Call it) start “singing Usher songs”. That’s what we would say when we would get in our “Oh I need a girlfriend” kick. Buuuutttttt, this is also another way that I can tell that I am growing up, but I am still kinda having that duality of the BULLY vs. Sweet Nigga. It is kinda hard for me o explain. But I understand it sooo much in my head. What is happening is tha instead of having completely different agendas. They are coming to a decent compromise. Still not quite in the middle, the BULLY usually wins out, but close.

If you don’t know what the hell I’m talking bout with the battle of Sweet Nigga and the BULLY then it probably means you don’t really know me. I’ll explain. The BULLY is a lot like a real bull. For all you city folk a bull just wants to have his women and run around and smash ‘em, and if another bull comes around to try to smash with his women the original bull will go over and mush the new bull. That is all that goes through a bull’s mind. Smash and mush. Passion and aggression. The other side of me, Sweet Nigga , is just that really sweet. I mean really nice, caring blah blah blah. I mostly go through kicks when one side or the other will win out over the other more or less. When it comes to women and relationships this ends up being me wanting to just rip broads or wanting to settle down with one for a while.

Things are different now cause I really just feel like kicking it with chicks, rippin ‘em here and there, but trying to get to know broads to find one that I do wanna try to kick it with. Something like normal people do. Much better than sweet nigga kickin’ in after I’ve been kickin’ it with a chick that I rip a lot and tying to be with her.

I’m anxious to see how this works out.

-the Pickle

P.s.: MMMMaaaaaannnnn, I need to get me a woman before I move back to Cairo/Tally….. or atleast shortly after. There be some fine ass employees in dis binph. I’m gonna get myself in trouble.

My celebrity Dream girl……..

This post and all the rest of the ones that I post today are ones that I typed up at work (can only read blogs, not write or comment on them while at work). Some of em, like this one , are from a long time ago, others are from last week. I am gonna try to post them in the best chronological order as I can remember.



Circa August 2006

Aight, I just got to thinking about what I like to see in a woman…..like, what is MY perfect woman like when it comes to body. Ok, I think I know what I want, but I see her in my mind and would love to make it so you guys could see it, but I cant annndddddd there are no women in Hollywood that are built like my fantasy girl would be built. Lemme see if I cant describe what I like. Well, first off, I want a chick with some size. I don’t mean fat or nothing, but just a kinda big lady. I am a big dude, I feel weird kicking it with a little chick, and look even weirder with one. I’m guessing that a 5-6, maybe 5-7 chick, that’s about 160 would be damn good. Not a soft 160 ,but a kinda muscular 160. I kinda like muscular chicks. I gotta find me a baaaadddd gym chick. That’s another story, but I know what ever girl I end up with is gonna have to be a gym head. Maybe not necessarily a gym head, but a chick that likes to stay active, is somewhat health conscious, and doesn’t say dumb shit like “I’m not gonna do that ‘cause I don’t wanna look like a boy.” Yeah, a big fine athletic 5-6 big leg and buttocks girl that looks mean in a dress with her back out or tank top cause she has a little muscle tone in her back and shoulders.

I kicked it with a gym chick one summer. It was great. She was serious about training, I was too. We could see each other in the gym say hey, and then go on about our business of training. I kinda liked watching cats check her out and shit. (In case I haven’t said this before, I am always proud of my chicks and like to show ‘em off and for them to get attention). This chick…I’ll call her the “Hatian Sensation” was like 5-8 145. She was a real solid, muscular 145. She was the type of chick that would come in the gym, bang out like 45 min. on the elliptical machine, and then get on that iron. She was the truth. Yeah, but it was just a summer fling. I wanted more, she wanted to get back with her dumbass, unappreciative, degenerate ass, in the ARMY boyfriend. I don’t want to talk about it cause I’ll just get mad.

Damn Hatian Sensation (Real name: Rosie).

-El Capitan Pinga Loca