LLLllAAAAAADDDDIIIEESSSSSSSS……..

I love yall. Naw, really, I love yall ladies. I still aint got to much love for no Bitch, and not much respect for a skalliwag, but I love me some nice respectable ladies. Why am I saying all this, talking all nice and good???? Well, yeah, I know, and I’ll admit it, I usually write these things with an obvious anger toward women. Well, I don’t dislike women, I love ladies. Its like the whole “I love black people, but I can’t stand a nigger……OOOOh, I hate a nigger” (Much funnier when Chris Rock does it.)

Well the reason is that I’m kinda startin to feel Cita. I’m not saying that I wanna do a real relationship with her or nothing, but I am getting that appreciation for her, I am starting to like her for the type of person that she is. I like that she is girly, not too damn prissy, but she is feminine. I like feminity. She does the little stuff, I’m gonna call it predictable because to an extent you guys all react the same under certain circumstances.

Now if I am off base with my theories, please let me know. I really want feed back from yall ladies that read my blog, I guess I’m prolly on talking to Shug and Tiff, maybe Aldalicious if she still reads this.

-The first thing that I always pay attention to is when cuddling and its all good, no pat and tickle or anything just good ole cuddling, you know imitating silverware (Spoon and Fork), Sometimes the chick will get all nervousy actin’, start taping a foot or moving/twitching something. That tells me that ol’ girl is prolly feeling the urge to just do something. Like they wanna just jump into something sexul, but they don’t feel that it would be right, so they are fighting with themselves.

-You guys definitely get the Ol’ googly eyes when you are feeling someone. Even worse though when you do get to the point when you are ready to just jump up on it and have that ol crazy hot sweaty monkey love…..I mean like you just wanna do the damn thing with the seriousness, you get a look in your eye, and sometimes your whole face. The funny part is that you usually look goofy as hell. I usually chuckle a little bit.

-When you are feeling a guy yall ladies have a way of kinda relaxing your whole body and allowing it to kind meld with your dudes side or what ever. For example, when you are at the movies and ol’ boy puts his arm around you, I can tell how much you are feeling me by how you feel when you lean into me. Its hard to explain, but you guys just kinda flow onto me.

-When a girl is really feeling me, or maybe just wants me to poke, (I am not exactly sure) her legs kinda relax and open up just a little when I touch their inner thigh. I don’t mean when we are naked and in the bed or shower or fitting room. Lets say that we are riding in my car, I reach over and put my hand on your thigh, not up high, just like close to your knee. If a chick is feeling me their thighs usually just relax a little open just a hair. I think it is some sort of subconscious type thing. As a matter of fact I’m sure it is.

-What I like the most is the way…O.k., before I say this I want you guys to know that this not what I am about, I have said it plenty of times before that I am all about an equally balanced and controlled relationship, but I just think this shit is really cute….I really like the way yall look at me when I do something that requires confidence and assertiveness and the whole take control thing. The way it usually happens, or how I am most used to experiencing it is right after a girl has just done something to kinda try me, nothing bad, just one of those let me check his backbone/what are my boundaries type thing and then I have to let her know that I don’t go for stuff like that. Now I’m not talking bout nothing serious, but maybe something like asking a dude to leave his house just to go out to the store and then bring it to you. I see that as pretty insulting in the early stages of getting to know someone. You know the “Oh, will you go out and get me some starbucks?” type thing. If you do get up out your bed, go out and be super nice and get her some coffee, then you will probably get crushed by one of those Milwaulkee’s Best Cans for being such a bitch, and then you would probably end up getting played by ol’ girl and then losing her to the dude that told her that wasn’t anyway he was coming up out his bed just to get her some damn coffee.



Sorry it was so damn long. Gimme some feed back, ladies.

-Mister I’m So Happy that God took that rib out of Adam and made such a wonderful thing.

Memories of me

I just got reading through some of my old blogs. I do that from time to time, especially when I am bored at work. It helps me to see how I am changing, be it better or worse, how to evaluate the progression of my overall life, and its quality, and its just nice to reminisce. I came across a couple that stood out, one I wrote about my dear Monique, and one about the Princess. The Monique one’s always get me cause I forget sometimes how deeply, and dare I say intensely, I felt for her. I read over a couple dealing with the Pricess, and it made remember how I was actually digging her, not a serious type thing, maybe one of those infatuation type things, either way it was good for a little short while. Now that I think about I do remember being all hype and being like “I’m gonna call my Princess” or “Hey, it’s the Princess calling”. Now that I’m thinking bout it I am realizing I have come through some nice, good chicks. Well, I’m thinking about the Princess, and the chick I wrote the blog entitled “I’m not sprung, but I have a new good friend”

I think about that sometimes. I want a good chick pretty damn bad, but I have had ‘em, and then let ‘em go…..I’m learning to not let thinking like that influence me in a negative way. I kinda found myself settling with chicks cause they were nice, even though they weren’t right for me. Folks wanna get on all that “Hey, she’s nice or he’s nice……you NEED to talk to them” type bullshit. My Moms and sis be on that shit sometimes. But I’m not gonna let shit like that phase me any-damn-more. If we, me and the chick and momma nem all know each other and ol’ girl is nice and we still never really got anything going there is a fuckin reason. Not every nice person is good for every-damn-one. When moms and sis start bringing that shit up I tell ‘em “Well, hell, if you like ‘em so damn much, then you date ‘em. “Leave me the hellalone”

Fa real.

I like a nice chick…..no, I loooove a nice sweet chick, but I also need a chick that’s just a little on the grimy side. I need a chick that I can do dumb stupid shit WITH, but then when I go to far she knows how to let me know with out talking down or fussing at me. Me and the chick that shsishes me when we are in the movie and I let out a relatively quiet “H-h-h-helll naw, did you see that?” Would never get far. I want a chick that aint afraid of getting dirty and will drink Bud Light out in the middle of the woods, next to a bondfire.

I could go on and on, but I guess what I am getting at is that I know what I want. I know what I need. I could hook up with some chick that is really nice….., but I need her to be my type of nice, my kind of a little rough round the edges type chick. A kinda rough around the edges chick with an hourglass shapes. Ladies, I’m sorry, but you gotta have hips. I love that womanly shape. Nigga, I LOVE IT!!! Hips and tits. I never think of tits being all that important, till I am envolved with a small chested chick, and all I can think of is big huge titties. (Well, I’m really happy with c’s, or even B’s on a small chick, but really small chicks ain’t enough woman for me)

-the BULLY

I love me

I love me because I am a moving, working flowing living bundle of opposites. I’m really big and strong and tough, but I’m gentle as hell. I can be one of the most insensitive assholes, but I am so caring till it makes me sick. I love just enjoying the simple company (just chillin’ type stuff) of a nice lady, but I love to just fuck. I’m thinking bout all this stuff cause I just got finished reading my blog from late Saturday night. I was drunk, and pure me was coming out. Pure, emotional, sentimental, uncomfortably uncouth, blunt, sincere me. I don’t know why I am like this now, but just about everytime I get drunk I end up losing the majority of my memory. I didn’t really remember much of what I wrote on that blog, but after reading it I really agree with what I wrote. Mostly the line when I said something like “sometimes you just have to go through all the bullshit to get to the good shit. And then combined with the whole “Good is not the norm………There are more sub-par than good people” joint.

That there really makes me think. When it comes to relationship stuff few people really look at it that way. They just get all frustrated, say all dudes, or females are bad. I know I have gone through that a few times. Or they will say hey, it must be me that is attracting not so good people. I’m sure that can be a noticeable size part of the reason, but I think that mostly it just comes down to the simple fact that “Good” is just not common. It just might take you a few tries till you get the “Red Gummy Worm”. I’m gonna use the “Red Gummy Worm” as the metaphor because people do the same thing with gummi worms except they don’t get all that mad when they can’t find the one they want.

When folks are digging in the bag for one of the red gummi worms and can’t find one they never snatch their hand out of the bag and start cussing and then say “Gummi Worms ain’t shit” I’ve never heard anyone be like “Every time I try to get me a red gummi worm I get an orange one…..At first it seemed like red while it was still kinda in the bag, but when it came out from the bag it was very orange…..That’s it. I’m not fucking with anymore gummi Worms. I’m switching over to Gummi Bears and then I’m gonna cut my hair short and start wearing flannel shirts and Doc Marten’s.

I’m gonna just start treating my woman search just like my gummi worm search. If I come to realize that there aren’t any more gummi worms in the bag, I’ll just get another bag, maybe an even more expensive bag with higher quality worms. I’m not gonna get pissed at all the Gummi worms, I’m damn sure not gonna switch over to Gummi bears. I know there will always be more bags of gummy worms, some of ‘em red, but most of ‘em not, and that is just how it is.

Something to Blog about

………I want to blog, but I don’t know what to blog about. Ummmmmm, ok, weeellllll, I was trying to get forbidden chick to meet me up in Tampa for my homeboy’s wedding. I was doing this for two reasons 1) I really wanted to fuck her again and get some bomb diggity head, and then skeet skeet skeeeeeet all about her mouth, face, neck and shoulders. I really wanted he head, cause the first time when she was bout to go down on me she had already pissed me off from trying to get me to call, or picture message, her ex, who I knew and let him know what had just hannaned. AAAAnnndd it was really late, and I had to get up early in the morning. She got on her knees and was all like let me kiss it goodnight, I said “Get off me, I gotta get home and to bed.” I probably threw in a “Don’t touch me!!” Now, I know this probably sounds like bullshit for sure….like, “Yeah right, the BULLY turned down head.” Seriously though, it’s the truth. I can be really headstrong at times, especially when I’m pissed, and even moreso when it seems like someone is trying to manipulate me by attacking one of my “weaknesses”. Straight up, here is the truth. I love sex and all that stuff, really I dude. I mean I am so much the physical type dude, but it doesn’t rule me. Trying to appeal to me through my cock won’t get you very far unless its already something I want to do. I’m so serious on that.
Oh, and the second point is that the Hubby to be told us all that there wouldn’t be much there, so I should “BRING something to poke on”.

So, anyway I invited Forbidden chick to come, and from the start I really doubted she was gonna come. For quite a while, though, she was seeming totally gung ho about it, then she started throwing little monkey wrenches. The first one was when she told me she had started back seeing her ex regularly. At first that shit pissed me the hell off, and I was gonna tell her to no come, but then I figured that getting some good ass, some good “slim chick” ass at that ( I usually break bigger broads, not neccesarily fat, sometimes fat, but mostly just bigger and I have come to learn that it is more fun breaking slim chicks. It takes so much less effort to wear their little asses out. I have to be careful not to hurt them, though. I doubt that I will ever break a slim chick on the floor or anything, cause that direct BULLY pressure might be too much, might bust up their insides or pelvis or something) .

So I just bought my ticket to the wedding, and sent Forbidden chick a text, like “I just bought my ticket, are you still coming?” she responds, “I’d like to, I need to know the dates again, though. I also need to know the nature of this trip, because I am seeing someone now.” Oh, well fuck her too!!! This bitch done put me through too much damn stress just for me to get some fuckin’ ass. Fuck her, I really wanted to test out that head, but fuck her dude. I knew from the beginning that she was fucking with me, but I really wanted that past due head, and second fuck session. I mean, oh well and oh fuck her.

“I’m seeing someone” Whatever, she probably just let her ex, who now has another girlfriend and lived off of her and ran up damn near a $1000 worth of cell phone bills from texting and shit with the new broad, get back with her. This broad is fuckin hopeless, and I been trying to be nice to her. Ok ok ok, yeah its probably pissing me of more than normal because I liked her way more than I do the average brizzle. Its not really a “Geeze I’m digging her” type deal, but more of a “Wow, she is really a great chick” type thing, like it would be nice to have a chick like that type of thing. Oh, here, I really liked the kind of person that she is. Like how a dude can love sports cars in general, but not necessarily want to have a certain one. I love sports cars, but I don’t really want a Porshe.

Anyway, there you go, another emotion filled one from the BULLY.

-Mister Fuckin’ Pickles

A Beautiful Thing

So, I got to talking with my boy
Big C about his relationship and shit with this nice young lady. Him and this chick are really clickin on a lot of levels and all that shit. And I got to sayin how fun it was to just bust bitches, tell 'em you aint bout to nut, then skeet in their ear and eye and leave half deaf and blind and then leave and go home and sleep good, but that it was such a great thing to find a chick that you dig and is worth just plain out being with. On the real, having a good relationship with a great chick is one of the most beautiful thing a dude can ever be a part of. Fuck all of that shit Rembrant and Mozart did, a great relationship is the fucking best. Now, I am drunk right now, so you are getting the real un-adulterated shit, so don't gettin all offended.

I meet plenty of females. Most of would fall into the bitches, broads, skallywags, brizzles, breezy, skee-yos typ category. But that is how it is. Good is not the fuckin norm. There will always be more less than par women than really greatchicks. Thats just the way it is, that is the way it always will be. Not only that, that shit will always be changing. There once was a time when the dude with the highschool degree was good, now the dude with the B.S. is average.

Anyway, what I am gettignat is that we all gotta deal with some bullshit to get to the good shit. On the really, I am kinda drunk and would love to be making a completely meaningful post, its just not gonna happen, so I am cutting this shit real short.

I've met a chick that seems to be really good. I can see that she is digging me, I'm digging her, but what I really like is I don't see me fucking whenever I feel like it. I really like that shit. I would so love to be in a relationship with a great chick, and be good to her and all that. Am I still a bad bet for some chicks?.... Yes I am, but that is really only for girls that are no good for me. Do I see me doing this new girl wrong?.... Nope, not at all.

I would love to be a in relationship, but I don't NEED to be in a relationshp. I know the difference and appreciate it. I hope yall do to.

Anyway, I'm fuckin Outie.
-the BULLY

The Monster that I Have Created

Ok, I know it has been a minute, I’ve been meaning to blog plenty of times and just never did cause I can’t ever get my sorry ass off of Black Planet, Myspace, Facebook, and yahoo messenger. I can’t blog from work cause the site is blocked, I mean, I can read, just not post. Lot of different stuff has been going through the head of the BULLY. I’ve been wanting to make a blog entitled “Mayonaise”. Its based of a Jeff Foxworthy “You might be a Redneck” dictionary thing. I mostly wanted to do it to talk about the women here in Bumblescum, S.C. It would have began: Mayonaise some bad body hoes in S.C…. I then later thought I would use it as one of those blogs thatI just bitch about a lot of crap that has been bugging me.: Mayonaise some bap ass hood ass backward ass Clubs in S.C……..Mayonaise some super Uppity Nigroes here in S.C. etc., etc. But I just read one of Shugs blog and it got me to thinking bout this shit that has been weighing heavily on the BULLY’s mind for a minute, so here it is.


Sooooo, I went to the Atl. Classic a few weeks ago. Your boy was in rare form. I was on that drank, I was on that dancing (Yeah nigga, this big ass Negroid called the Motherfuckin’ BULLY was killin the Pool Palace. Bending his Knees and rocking his hips) and of course you know that the Motherfuckin’ BULLY was on them womens. So I met a few chicks, I only really try to keep up with one of ‘em. This was the one that (and I told her this the night that I met her) reminds soooo much of my ex-girlfriend. The ex-girlfriend that I have bitched about so many times on here talking bout me lovin her and stuff. So we been talking and all that, me and “Cita” (I’m gonna call her cita like the Computer generated chick from BET. The first version, the Dark one with the silly hips) and she turns out to seem like a really nice chick. She is young though, 21, but she seems kinda mature. She is going to school for Pharmacy at FAM. Soooo we have been chit chatting on the phone for bout 3 weeks, and this weekend I’m going home to link up with old college buddies and drink and catch the FSU/BC game. I planned on seeing her some. I then found out yesterday that the Job thinks it would be good for me to go back to the Cairo plant for a couple of weeks and help get my machines running. (Some of mine are moving this weekend) So instead of being in Tally-Assy for a few days I’m gonna be there for a few weekends. The problem with that is if I spend that much time around this girl, I’m prolly gonna end up rippin………..

Yeah, I just said me rippin a chick is not a good thing, and yes I am feeling fine, I haven’t been knocked in the head or anything. I’ve kinda gotten out of the whole lets just rip chicks phase. I was that way for bout the past two years. It was pretty fun, had its highs and its lows, but all in all it was pretty good. The thing is I kinda created a monster doing that shit. I’ve kinda gotten to associating sex with meaningless broads. I’m afraid that me rippin ol girl will fuck up whatever relationship that we have. I mean I’ve gone for 2 years mostly out to just rip and in a few months, or weeks, dip. Its almost like after the BULLY breaks a broad a switch goes of in his motherfuckin head. A switch that tells the BULLY good job, you have broken another, now it is time to find still another cause this one is old news. This chick seems really nice and I don’t want to think about her that way. I don’t want to think of her as just another broken brizzle. Now don’t get this twisted. This sentiment is not just for her, but all nice chicks that I meet.

But there is still another part of me that says :”C’mon now….its just a little sex. If she wants it, and you know you want it, then just do it. You know she is a good girl, you won’t forget it.” But I am still just afraid of the MONSTER that I have made of myself. I know its still here and not going anywhere, that nigga is just keeping to his part of the world. I mean, I can still remorselessly rip brizzles and then remind them that “I’m not doing the dating or regular chillin thing.” And then be like “I already told you this, remember.”

What scares me the most is that chicks that dig me usually really want to have sex with me. I’m not trying to be cocky or nothing like that now, but it’s the truth. I guess its just some thing about the way I carry myself and treat women. I know its not from me being the finest, or most handsome or the coolest or nothing like that. I know I’m not any of that. I think it really boils down to me having a way of making people feel really comfortable with me. That and I am a kinda touchy feely person. Not creepy touchy feely though. I don’t know, but its something.

Anyway, I don’t want to fuck up something by fucking. But I don’t wanna not fuck cause it could be a really good thing. Or I could end up just being her brizzle, and me digging her, that shit has happened a few times, and as cool as it is to say “I got used for sex” it still really sucks.

Well that’s my current dilemma and or internal struggle. (Mikey, how is this for Battle of the BULLY and Mr. Pickles)

-I’m out.
Everyone Kiss My Ass