Ode to Monique

PART I

So Monique is my ex-girlfriend. I broke it off with her when I moved to Tx. back in July. We still maintained a psuedo/lingering realtionship that was all pretty good until around the end of November. Our sorta kinda relationship started getting strained due to her dislike of the psuedo thing. She did not want to be my friend. She wanted to be my girlfriend. the psuedo thing made her mad and upset so she took it out on me by being a bitch.

The psuedo thing fully ended in February. Since then we have been no more than aquaintences, for all real purposes. I don't like it. I don't like it at all. I am the one that ended the relationship, not because I didn't care about her anymore, but because I am not ready to attempt the long distance thing.

PART II
Ok, I'm finishing this thing up and a few days have passed since I did part I. The big difference is now I have angry energy. I've been wanting to call Monique damn near all day everyday since Monday when I kicked it with my friend, the Delta. The Delta brought out old feelings and memories of the good times me and Mo used to have. Why have I just not Called Mo, you ask. Well the last time we talked I cursed angrily a whole lot and told her I would never call her again. Thats why.

Mo was great. She really really was. She was a cute, dark, stong willed, sweet island girl (Bahemian). I love all that shit. I really could not have asked for much more. since we have been broken up she has mostly been, as much as it pains me to say it, a real BITCH. It really does hurt me to say that about her, but its true. I don't know if she ever even thought about it at all but If she had not have been so bitchy to me I would have been asked her to get back together. That shit will probably never happen now. I do still really do care about her, but I have seen a completely different side of her that is not some one that I would want to be with.

Damn-it Monique. Damn.

How to never, ever get a call back from a brizzle

Yeah........so I have been talking to this binph on the phone for a little bit. She is a little bit older, well, a lot older. 9 years to be exact. Don't ask me why, but I'm a fucking late 20's to early 30's magnet, but that is another blog.

Anyway I got off on the whole "Fort Worth women are money hungry" thing because the week end before some girl laughed at me because I said that I drove a Cavalier. I don't, though, I have an '04 Maxima SE. So I'm talking about this with her and what women around here considered to be a good salary (apparently 50 K isn't looked upon as very good). She ended up going off on the "I'm a single mother trying to make it blah blah, if I'm spending time with a man he needs to pick a light bill or water bill or something." Bullshit.

My mom raised me and my little sister by herself. She kept us with nice everything by herself. Actually she kept my sister and I with better stuff than she had for herself. Big example: my mom has an 88 Grand Marquis, a few years ago she bought my sister a new Impala, when I was 14 she got me my new f-150, she also helped me out with a big down payment on my new Max. She has done everything for my sister and I that most 2 parent families cant do for their children all by herself. She never expected some dude to give her money, if she wanted something to happen or needed more money she got out there and got it. My mom wanted me to go to a private school for middle school. She worked a 2nd job in the mall to make sure she could manage. I told the old brizzle about all this.

Haven't heard from her since. Oh fucking well.

I'm not trying to say I won't or don't give and or do stuff for women, but I am saying I'm not obligated to give or do shit.

Anyway, this whole escapade is just more fodder for my whole "Fort Worth women are all money hungry" theory.

You already know who this is

Niggas don't know how to ack

Damn.

Ok. I'm a black guy. I'm wild, loud, bold, a little aggressive at times, intimidating, well endowed. What I'm getting at is yes...I do fit some of the stereotypes folks have of black folk. These characteristics are also characteristics of a very many successful people of all races. There is nothing wrong with any of these characteristics. The problem comes when you don't have the ability to control which one you use when you use it, how you use it, what you use it for, and to what intesity you use them. The cat I was with friday night had the characteristcs, but completely lacked the ability to control them. He also had a couple other not so good characteristics thrown in there too.

This nigga, to make along story short, tried to cash in a comped 6.99 meal for a 13.99 meal. He really had two 6.99 meals to be comped and just wanted to use one for his 13.99 meal that night and save the other for another 13.99 meal, probably. He starts out arguing relatively sensibly over the point that he was told he had two free entrees, and that was how it should have been treated.

This nigga ends up pulling out his platinum card telling all of IHOP (yeah, really, IHOP) about his 25 grand limit and pointing out his Tahoe sittin on rims and say money aint nothin and calling the Manager Habib and all that shit. The motherfucker egged on the manager until the manager wanted to swing on him, I mean a big ol cook had to come out and restrain the manager.

Damn.

Shit like that fucks it up for people like me..... the average black guy.

Damn.

So if any of you white people were wondering if Chris Rock was just joking when he said "Black people hate niggers too." its not a fucking joke.

But, I do love po' white trash redneck white people, cause they fuck it up for yall white folks.
So don't forget this shit: Yeah, we got niggers, but yall motherfucks have trailer trash. Not the norm, just the most memorable.

-the Motherfucking average black guy

No ac for flour millers

It is 98 degrees out side right now. It will probably be over a hundred before I go into work at 3pm. Holy shit. Its only 1:30 and it is 98 degrees. I'm already all types of dehydrated and I gotta go into work and it is bout 100 degrees outside. I'm gonna die. Just to let you guys know, not only is there no a.c. in the flour mill, it is always hotter in the mill than it is out side. So if it is gonna be 100 out side, then it will be atleast 110-115 inside. And then there is the extra humidity in the mill.

Its gonna suck.

Just call me sweaty stinkyflour doughy motherfucker

Cracker Ass Cracker Robbio

Robbio is one of the whitest white guys I know. He is also kind of racist, but he loves the black man out of guilt from what is ancestors have done. He is so white until it hurts. The type of white that gets up every morning, looks himself in the mirror and says to himself " Nothing makes my day more bright than waking up white."

Anyway all this said he really is a good.....well.......ummm....Robbio is an asshole. An asshole with alot of hair on it. It works for him, though. If I was as much an asshole as robbio I think a bunch of white people would given me the broom stick treatment a long time ago. I just thought about some more shit to rant about, so I gotta start another rant post.

Robbio has erectile dysfunction so everyone calls him "noodle"

theBULLY

Channel Flickers

I hate when motherfuckers flick channels too damn much. Is like they are intentionally fucking with my emotions. They wait just long enough for me to get into the show, or commercial, then change the fucking channel.

Ifeel like they are thinking : Are you watching this? Yeah.....you really into it? Good cause I'm gonna change channels now. HAAHAHAHAHAHA, Bitch, you are all fucked up now. Get some of that. Yo punk ass better not pay attention to this new channel cause if you do I'm gonna change again, bitch. HAHAHAHAHAAHAH!

Fuck Channel flickers.

Nice Girls and Used to be Nice Girls

Kim is this chick, well I shouldn't refer to her as achick because she is probably older than I am, that up until today was a temp worker here at the flour mill. She is a pretty cute girl...err lady, sweet, nice to talk with, and married. The married part did not bother me much at all, wasn't gonna try nothing with her or anything like that because we work at the same place. Anyway she was really nice and we would talk about different things some times. She has interests and experiences that are not the norm , in some cases especially for females. One cool thing that she has done is that she got to spend some time with Jane Goodall (the Gorillas in the Mist lady) and she likes video games and we could talk about those. Anyway last night was her last night working here I guess she got a better, maybe full time, job down the street. When I got homeI noticed a little piece of paper under my windshield wiper. It was a little pink heart that said "I had fun working with you, Kim." that was really nice. Made the BULLY smile, I really appreciate little stuff like that.

A good example of a used to be nice girl is my ex. I say she used to be nice, but I don't really know if that was what really the case. Just so you understand, yeah I'm the Bully and all that, but when it comes to girls that I like.....I'm a real BITCH. I'm a nice dude, and some people, mostly females, like to take advantage of that. Outside of me being nice I get to be too trusting of people that I like just because I know I would not do anything mean or manipulative to them.

Everything was great between me and her. I really liked my ex, but I never felt completely comfortable with having a full blown relationship with her. Especially after I knew I was gonna be living 1000 miles away. I wanted to stay close with her but try out other people and all that. It only made sense to me. I mean I just graduated from school and moved away doing the real world thing and although I really did, and still do, care about her I wanted experience stuff. Anyway that wasn't enough for her. So now we have a half ass shitty friendship. Yeah we broke up almost a year ago but she still weighs heavy in my mind.

I say she used to be a nice girl, but this could have been how she always was, but I am jnow seeing clearly with out the cloud of emotions getting in the way. It bothers me that she might really be a not nice person when it really comes down to it, but it also means that I might have done the right thing by breaking up with her now instead of waiting till I was too rapped up in her to beable to get away.

I don't know. I still wish we could atleast have a decent friendship.

-the BITCH

Working out protects me from myself

So I've been back here in Texas, working, working and working. I got back Tuesday night(supposed to be back tuesday at 5:49, really got back 9:30.....FUCK United Airways). I have been slacking on my working for a while since I've been back working in the mill doing all these crazy hours and shit. I would do a little something but nothing that would make me have to really work at or make me release the inner (beastlike) me. I stopped working out cause I was feeling kinda sorry for myself and felt kinda lazy. Work was bringing me down and I was getting all pissy and stuff about alot of things.

I started back working out thursday morning. I'm a big dude and I'm tired of being so big and bulky so I'm not lifting weights anymore for a while and I'm just gonna do cardio and this thing we call "card game". I go through a deck of cards, each card has a corresponding excercise to do. Takes me 35-40 minutes to go through but it is tough as hell.

What I'm trying to get at is that I feel tons better when I'm working out. Keeps me from bing mad...keeps me from being sad....keeps me from wanting to mush everyone's fucking face. That is probably why I have been on here ranting much these past few days. thank God for excercise....and everything else too.

The BULLY

Back home

I'm not mad right now. I'm home, back in Tallahassee, Florida. Don't have anything to rant about. Hanging out with old friends, actin' an ass in a hot sweaty ass club, playing with my old fat ass dog, annoying my little sister, seeing my old truck(even though it doesn't drive any more). All this means is that when I get back to Texas I'm gonna be pissed about everything except for the fact that I get to drive my car. I'm gonna get off the plane and be like " Fuck , the air just touched me" Expect some seriously angry rants after tuesday.(I get back to Texas on Teusday afternoon.)