A T L

Yoooooo, the Muthafuckin' BULLY is going to be in Atlanta this weekend.....straight partying his ass off while being deeply consumed by that drrraaaannnnkkkk!!!!!

Holla at your boy!!

Oh, ok, so I never saw "Dream Girls", and never paid attention to anything about the movie. All I knew was that the bigger girl, Jennifer Hudson, stole the show from Be-yon-ka. I was all like "Shitchyea". So, I'm sitting here watching the B.E.T. awards joint and finally saw what J-hud looks like. She looks like the Virgin Island chick (VI Chick) that I used to fuck bout 2 years ago, then got all mad when she wanted to stop sleeping with me and said she would rather "Whore it up all over town instead of kicking it with me"....that shit was a true ass statement too. ....Fuckin' Whore. Anyway, I can say I used to Fuck a J-Hud look-a-like, big ass titties and all.


I'm tired of seeing Bey-on-ka's ass, and her busted ass looking mammy-made ass outfits that her momma be makin'.

Haaaaaa, T-Pain in this beeeyotch!!


Ooooh, I started writing this while I was watching the BET awards.....and now it is like 5 or six days later and I am now back from the AAaayyyy. I had a great time. Met Jamaal Anderson of the Atlanta Falcons.....I'll just say "hhhmmmmm....."

I think I want to move to Atlanta now. So many high quality black women, so many aint bout shit and or in jail, and or gay ass black men. Nigga like me would do very well.

If you were in the club called "Opera" I was there...maybe you saw me. Your boy was all in the V.I.P. (Ha, I just walked up there like I was supposed to be there.

Anyway.......I'll hollar.


-the BULLY

Hhhmmmmm….Ionno…..

So, y’all, Shug went out with a dude, by her description, that looks like Shaggy from Scooby Doo. Well, maybe not, but he was white and his hair is all crazy and he was tall, sooooo SHAGGY from Scooby Doo.

So, the BULLY, how does this make you feel?

Huh? Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.

Ok, the BULLY, how does it make you feel that Shug is going out on dates with and kicking’ it with a white dude?

Oh…..uummmmm…. Kinda.

What do you mean “Kinda”?

I mean…whatever.

Whatever?

Yeah, you dizzy ass broad, whatever. I really don’t give a shat. Good for her to be able to go out with Johnny Whitebread somewhere up in Alabama and still be fine with it. Me, I mean Myself, like…I’m tonbout the BULLY couldn’t do it. Hell, in this bap ass little town up in south central Ga. I get stared at enough when I go out with Bi-chick. ( I mean, yeah she is a pretty chick… a big pretty chick that is pretty fly) and she aint even white, well she kinda is….like halfway, but she just looks lightskinned. If I were to be all up and out with Susy Whitebread I know folks would be staring harder den a mug, prolly asking for the BULLY to let them hit my knuckles with their face or something.

Seriously though, I would just feel plain out funny going out with a white chick. And it seems to be a lot more socially acceptable for a black woman to go out with a white man. And something else that’s funny, a point brought up by this dude that Ma Bully works with brought up one time. He was married to a white chick, said it was the worst decision he ever made and now really really dislikes white women. The thing he brought up was that you never see powerful, successful, well to do white women with black dudes. Its true. I can only think of one and that is that model chick that married Seal….and he isn’t really black (when I say black I mean American negroid).

The whole trade thing is all fucked up when it comes to trade agreement thing we have with white folks. Their men take (and a lot of time they are the really well to do types, pretty much the exact opposite busted, sloppy fat, trailer park, trashy, un-educated, low self esteem havin’ skank ass white women that black men just seem to love) our great (on virtually all fronts) successful black women (Shug). It’s like we are trading our diamonds for their trash.

Whats really up with that?

Ionno, but I betcha you won’t catch me booing up anyone’s trash, real talk. (don’t get that confused with the chick that can be a little trashy…the BULLY kinda likes…..and some of the trashy sex havingest chicks that I have known have been some highly educated, getting master’s/ bout to start going for that Ph.D. type chick…..smart and nasty is my type of girl…..giggity)

-the MuthaFuckin BULLY

……….Am I an Oreo?

Aight, so….yeah, I read a lot of blogs and because all I do is piggy back of other people’s blog rolls (habitual lurker I am…..blow me!!) starting from the folks that I know I end up just reading black folks blogs. I mostly like to read womens blogs. Soooooo I read a lot of black womens blogs.

Why do I read black womens blogs you ask? I do it because I love yall. I was birthed by a black woman, raised by a black woman, pissed the hell off by a lot of black women, hurt by black women, I talk bad about a lot of black women, but I love yall….really, I do.

Anyway, the thing that comes up a lot is relationship stuff. Yall get to talking about all the stuff you want in a black man, and all the shit you done had to put up with a black man and all the problems with the black man and I beeessss like “Damn!!”. For real, cause, even though I see where a lot of y’all be picky and specific den a sumbitch, mostly yall look for stuff that, to ME, is just run of the mill type stuff. Putting emphasis on stuff like “He has to have a good steady job, have his own place, not be on drugs, be willing to take care of his kids, be respectful of women, not like to poke other men in the booty with or without their penis sometimes, have a car, blah blah blah blah”.

And the thing that bothers me most is where some black women feel that it is their place…ummmm their duty …..ummm social requirement, mandate by GOD himself to,…….if they don’t do it it just won’t ever happen thing. I’m talking about the notion that the black man NEEDS you to boost him up to fully be a man. Like a nigga’s spine is limp until you come along and boost him up.

I hate that shit!!

A woman try doing that shit to me is gonna get told “Bitch, back up off me!!”.

I take a serious offense to that type of shit. I am offended by that shit because I am a MAN. I am a BLACK MAN….I am a STRONG BLACK MAN. I’m proud. I’m confident. I’m the shit. I know my strengths and even more importantly I know my weaknesses. Someone coming in trying to “make me a strong man” says to me that you don’t think I am a strong man……..straight up questioning my status as a man. I believe a man and woman should compliment one another. I fully believe that, but I do not believe that it takes some woman to make me a Man.

Now, the oreo thing…..I have a good job, a nice newer car (the Max is now 3), a dependable ass old truck (I got a Ford Certified rebuilt motor put in that bitch at the end of January), I live by myself (renting, I want to buy something, but I want to wait until the max is paid off and I have knocked out a good bit of these student loans and am in a town where I know I will be for more than 2 years), I am very respectful to ladies (notice that I said ladies), got the 401 k thing going, I’m health conscious, all that stuff, the whole kit ‘n caboodle, and all my friends are on the same level or better. I see all that stuff to be the norm. Hearing all these horror stories about the black man makes me wonder whether or not I am one at times.

Am I an oreo? Are all my friends oreos too?

But, no…….matter of fact Hell No I ain’t no damn oreo, and none of my friends are oreos either. I just think too many black women are looking in too many damn gutters trying to find too many damn “Black Men” that just need to be uplifted by their women to become a real MAN. Real talk.

I’ve said it before, if you are looking for a man, don’t go out with a boy, thinking he will grow up. We all know way to well that a lot cats now-a-days got that Peter Pan syndrome going on. Look for us men, we are all around. We are the cats that don’t have “Game”. We are the cats that you see in the grocery store that look you in the eye and say hello. You know, the dudes that might just have on some plain ol’ khakis or decent jeans and a polo or button up on, nothing too flashy cause we have been at work, not tryin’ to have a fly ass fit, but we getting our job done like we are supposed too….and a lot of times even better. Hell, believe it or not (cause I know yall have read my blog) kick it with the dude that doesn’t make sexual advances at you after the second date and don’t question his sexuality.

If you don’t like what I said then You can a) Blow me b) Blow me c) tell me where I am wrong, and why d) Blow me e) answer c, then answer a

-Nuttayballs

Opinions are like assholes….

That’s what they say. I kinda agree. I mean really, if you like my opinion then you make me feel good, not unlike what I would imagine an asshole licking to feel like (I haven’t had it yet….) and if you don’t like my opinion then its like getting an asshole rubbed all on your face. You prolly wouldn’t like that, but I still think it’s funnier den a bitch.

PARIS HILTON HAS GONE TO JAIL.

So.

Fuck that bitch.

Just don’t do it with my dick…..that bitch is nasty.

It’s a million niggroes in jail right now and no one cares, so why should I give a quarter of a shit about this rich, bony-ass, non erection causing snow bunny having to spend a few weeks in Club L.A. County. I heard her jail clothes were “only” designed Ralph Lauren. Ol’ rich bitch.

I saw black Ho when I was in M-I-Yayo. She seems to be growing up some. Her weave was tight. Y’all haters can hate on her and say her hair aint luxurious, when y’all know it is.

One time when I was walking from the beach to the hotel some broad in a car and hollered out “Heeeyyy fat daddy”. It was cool, but she better be careful….messing around with this “fat daddy” will have her not being able to poop right for a week and walking funny for a couple of days. Oh yeah, its true.

So, I been kicking it with Bi-chick some what, and this chick never tells me that she enjoys my company or that she has a good time kicking it with me or anything. I can tell she is having fun when she is around, but she just doesn’t say it. Since I pay attention to that crap does it mean that I am still growing a vagina?

I like the way my junk looks bigger when I shave.

I don’t like the way my junk is itching because I shaved.

Real talk yall, I feel like I can make any damn woman feel like a billion and a half dollars. Fa real. And I find it very hard to believe that any chick, be her hardcore lesbo or not would not be attracted to my manliness in some way shape or form.

Oooooh, I saw what Tittayballs looks like on Facebook. The BULLY kinda likes….

The BULLY is thinking about changing his name to NuttayBalls. (My balls are big, kid)

I mean for real, my nuts are quite sizeable, ask Black Ho’s Mom. (I would so marry Black Ho’s mom if it wasn’t for Black Ho’s gun totin’ stepdadday)

When I was in South Beach….ha ha One time, in South Beach….I was walking with a homegirl and a few of her friends and I realized that the front of my pants was hanging flat. Like, no bulge (naw, really, I got some junk in the front) and that shit tripped me out. I was all calling attention to it and then Ol’ girl patted it down up front down there. Hell yeah I kinda liked it too. My pants were flat cause I had on boxers and my junk was just hangin’ straight down. She felt it. Too bad we won’t ever get our thing thing on. It would be great.

My girl Tiff is in love, and that’s so beautiful. It kinda makes me a little sad, though, cause that means that I know I can’t have sex with you. Hey, but if that negro ever messes up, I will fly out to Denver to realign that spine for you right quick.

Ok, real talk, is it possible to touch a chicks spine while getting guts? Naw, cause for real I did a slim chick once and I swear it felt like Steve rubbed on her lower spine.

-NuttayBalls

So....I'm just sittin here in the livingroom with nothing but a wife beater on.....

Yeah, really, I'm one piece of clothing away from being buckets nekket. What makes it so bad is that there is a chick in my bed. Its that chick that I call Bi-Chick. She is sleeping her ass off. I know what you are thinking, and no....I have not served her some of that good dick and made her fall asleep. We have done nothing. She watched me get out of the shower. She pulled the towel off me a couple times. Asked to see my botched up shaving job I did on Steve. But no sex. I played with her boobies some, but no sex. Not even her nekket.


I am really kinda rethinking the whole me telling her that I just wanted to cuddle with her some. Well, I do want that stuff....but damn, I cant really get my cuddle on if she is sleep, can I? I mean....I really just want to wake her ass up so we can play around, but I know that she works alot. I mean she works 6 or 7 days a week. She has 2 jobs, has to work both of 'em tomorrow. Her day starts at about 830am and ends at 10pm. I am happy that she decided to even come up here to see me. I really am, but a nigga like me would love to get his pat and tickle on. Some of that spoon and fork action. I been kicking it with Mo some, but that shit just aint right. Me and her know that shit aint right. We do not need to start up another fucked up relationship out of availability and lonliness. I......I love her too much to do that.

I don't understand this love thing. It doesn't fit into my world of logic and simple cause and and effect and shit. I'm pretty damn sure I still love her. She still loves me. (We told each other a couple of weeks ago.) Why do we still have feelings for one another and still both feel like we are still not right for each other? I don't know what the fuck is going on. She told me that she feels bad because I'm not the same sweet caring dude that I used to be. She told me that I was much more calus now. I hadn't really noticed it until she said something, but it is true. I didn't always used to be such a heartless bastard with women. I told her it wasn't her fault. I made me. I let shit effect me the way that it did and dealt with it the way that I did and still do.

One day I will meet me a nice lady and will return to my old nice sweet ways. Not being so cold and all that shit...I mean...I hope it happens. I just hope I'm not damaged beyond repair. I hope I haven't changed her for the worse in any way.


-the Pickle