Merging Monster

Thats waht the fuck I am. I am kinda starting to enjoy driving in DC, and learning to drive like a DC person. These cats drive pretty aggressively, and not unlike assholes......and I refuse to be out aggressively driven or assholed.

Okay, most of the times I've driven in DC I've been on chill mode. I'm getting older and much more relaxed. (Fugg you, Rock Head, I'm not a sissy, just more sensible. And I hope you are ok...if I don't hear from you with in a week, you better believe I'm calling your damn job.)

Naw, but what had happened was, I drove the ol' green truck (My '95 extended cab f-150) to DC this past weekend. Drove that bitch all over...all around Suitland, Bowie, down to Adams Morgan, over to Silver Spring (picked up some DC chick, for lunch, in the truck....cause I don't give a fuck.....which is hella funny, cause the truck is old and wore out...damn near hooptie status (ac doesn't work, driverside inside door handle is broken off so I have to reach out the window and open my door from outside, i'm sure it smells a little sweaty, and then smells from the various fluids (Powersteering and Transmissions fluids, Some antifreeze/coolant and the bottles all leak and keep the floor in the back seat a nice wet oily mess) that I have to keep on hand because of the leaking issues. Its mine, though and I've had it since I was 14 and I loves it) Nigga.....when you are driving a fourteen year old truck with fucked up paint on the hood and roof and you try to merge, people just let you because they know you don't give a fugg.

Wait, did I also forget to mention the big ass dent in the front bumper and the dents and scratches on the passenger side from some trees one time? Or that the rims are all dull and wore out looking?

Yeah, that is my muthafuckin truck.

Blow me.

Anyway...your boy is a non-profiteer now. I am volunteering my time and efforts to this lovely org: Louise's Angels. It's a great cause....it's purpose is to empower inner city girls. It is just getting started by a very motivated and intelligent young lady. I'd gush more about it, but it prolly deserves it's own blog, so I will gush more there.

Yeah, but go check it out. If you are in the DC area, letchur boy know. I'll let you know bout what we got going on.

But...... yeah, your boy is finally getting into the not-for-profit world. Working with Louise's Angels will not only be a great outlet for me to use to give to the community, it will also help me learn what I will need to know to eventually do my own thang.

yyyuuuuppppp

-the BULLY

p.s.: gucci bandana, gucci gucci bandana

You need to check your man and his bitch ass ways, not the BULLY and his bullish ways

Hey Tiff!!

I especially want your opinion on this here shit.


So...... I got this good.... or maybe used to be good female friend from back in college. We have gone through periods of being real tight and then periods of not being too tight. I had a thing for chick for a WHILE. There, I said it.....I doubt it was all that big of a secret anyfuckingway. So me and chick kinda had a funny relationship. Ok, well, my relationships with female friends are usually always kinda funny. Most of my female friends were either interested in me, or me in them....or atleast we wanted to fuck one another. (Shiiiiittt, I can't help that I'm a sexy motherfuckah).

so like I said, we have a kinda funny relationship. And pair that with me being the innapropriate guy that I am...I always make little jokes and comments, it is laughed at and all that. She knows my heart.

So one day, after not talking for atleast 3-4 months she calls me and tells me she has lost like 26lbs. I'm all like "cool" and "congrats" and shit, then I tell her she should shoot me some pics in a matching bra and boyshort set. She laughs, calls me silly, then gets off the phone to get on her train.

cool.

So that evening or next day or some shit I see her new pics posted on Myspace. Chick was lookin pretty damn good. So the next morning I shoot her a text like "I just saw your new pics on myspace....Yeah, you def need to shoot me a pic of you in your matching bra and boyshort set"

Whatever.

Sooooo, I get a call from ol' girl that evening and she is kinda hot with your boy. What happened was she accidentally left her phone at the crib that day. When she got home her "soulmate" was not speaking and shit and acting all cunty. She took dude to work or something then checked her messages and saw that I had sent a message and that shit was not marked new.

So she starts going off on me because what I did was inapropriate and how she has serious b-friend and all this jibber jabber. And how now her boyfriend was all mad at her over this shit and not speaking to her and all that. That shit pissed your boy off, but since we are "good friends" I didn't go off on her ass. She is lucky as Hale for that. She should pray and thank G-d for that. All I said was "O-k" she finished her bitchin, said by and I hung up.

But real talk. Thats some ol' fuckshit on her and his fault. He is displaying tremendous amounts of bitchassness and she is displaying a tremendous amount of bitchassness love and bitchass cuntiness empowerment.

Bitch ass gonna get mad at HER, for some shit I sent. And then she is gonna get mad atME for HIS bitchass checking into a private communication between me and her.


Whatever....that shit happened a while ago and I aint never say nothin bout it to anyone, but I thought about it while I was in the gym and got kinda pissed so I figured I blog about it.

Am I wrong, though? Like that shit is almost as bad as something like me Calling Tiff "Titty Tiffany" on here and her boyfriend gettin all hot at her about it. It doesn't mean anything and its nothing I haven't been doing for years. Didn't do it in his face all disrespectful, just bullshit between friends.


Talk to your boy....

-the BULLY

Punch Drunk

I was Tagged by Kali

This is how this "Meme" test is about to go down.

1. Put your Music Player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT!

After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 3 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the MEME themselves


Aight, here it go....

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?
-Hit you from the back , Rick Ross Your boy, the muthafuggin BULLY is likin how this here thing is startin' off ......Cock cock cock and lean..lemme hitchu from the baack hitchu from the baaack hitchu from the baaaaaaaack. That shit is my jam.

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
-Be Happy, Mary J. Blige yEah...real talk, thats what I want outta life

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
-Like a star, Corinne Bailey Rae Ok-k-kaaayyyy

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
-Hip Hop is..... , The Show, original Soundtrack, but that shit was just a skit, the next one that played was
-The Problem, lil' Wayne (from the Drought 3)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
-A.D. 2000, Erykah Badu

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
-Droppin Bombz, SO. Sentrelle (From The Show soundtack again)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
-Leaving You, J-Hud and Neyo

What do you think of your parents
-....first track is some untitled shit from a local group, Tyger Hill. My Homeboy from highschool is in the crew.....the Chorus starts like "What the fuck...Yeeah, What the Fuck....Yeeeah, What the Fuck....get off my dick..Yeah......"
-the next real song was Da 80's, Styles P.

What do you think about very often?
-Send Me an E-mail, DJ Spinz and T-pain

What is 2+2
-Love Rain, Jilly from Philly

What do you think of your best Friend(s)? I had to make this one plural cause I have a bunch of best friends.
-Freek-A-Leek, Petey Pablo
-Daughters, John Mayer
-War with G-D, Ludacris
-Another Again, John Legend
-Say Goodbye, Chris Brown (lol, I got to best friends named Chris)
-And then What, Young Jeezy and Mannie Fre-ur-ur-ur-esh

What do you think about the person you like?
-Chrome Plated Woman, UGK....(the new chick I'm befriending ...platonicly??? is def one of theones that cats gawk at in the gym.....5-10 and a size 8...yeah, she is niiiice long legs, nice ol' round izzass)

What is your life story?
-White girl remix featuring Ricky Ross hmmm......I keep that white girl...like to call her Tammy....born in Columbia, she moved to Miami......Hillary Clinton....she my best friend...even cosigned for that new white Benz......lol

What do you want to be when you grow up?
Soon The New Day, Talib Kweli

What will you dance to at your wedding?
-Overjoyed, Stevie Wonder (Oooo-Kkkaaaaaayyy)

What will they play at your Funeral?
-Lip Gloss, Lil Momma............pppfffttt

What is your Hobby/interest?
-Rappa Ternt Sanga, T-pain (a nigga has been making some ol rhymy ass blog entries....)

What is your biggest Secret?
-The world is yours, Silkk the Shocker (indeed)

What do you think of your friends?
-Drunk Game (Sweet Sugar Pie) , Ol' Dirty Bastard (hhmmmm....)

What should you post this as?
-Punch Drunk [instrumental], Sade

I guess I will tag my dear sweet, damn near virginal friend, slaus, and GLO.......fuck it, I'm gonna add a 4th E-dot and a 5th Big Chris of Team Diesel

Ode to 34 DDD

This post is inspired by a fellow blogger. She is a very cute young lady....and yes....the boobages are very berry bountiful.

This goes out to you. (She said she would be too embarassed if I called her out like this so I won't say her name or link her or nothing)

I think I'm gonna take a stab at poem writing again

Ode to 34 DDD
by the BULLY

34 triple D's
They bring a big nigga like me to his knees
I hope she always continues to wear good bras
so them big ass titties don't end up at her feet
Everytime I look at her Steve jumps for joy and says Hurrah
cause from her chest them thangs stick out very far

Those 34 triple D's I would wear them as hat
Mostly the left one, the right would be jealous,
but I don't care about that
Seeing her from the back
her booty is enough to knock you of track
then you see her from the front.....
And DAAYUUMM, thats a hell of a Rack

She goes to the gym regularly
does legs and arms and crunches to keep that flat belly
But what I dream about
is seeing her running on that treadmilly.
aint a sports bra in this whole wide world
that could keep them thangs under control

I have asked and asked for a picture
I just really hope she doesn't have tiny ass nipples
I dedicate all of these lirics to you and your mammaries
I just hope that they do not make you leave my blog angrily
Now go ahead and stop being stingy
and send your boy a pic of atleast that right titty

Fin

Woooooo.....thats it right there.

Oh, yeah, I'm tombout GLO. Her titties are fuckin great. She posts pics every now and then then takes 'em down, so you will just have to lurk the shit outta her page to catch a glimpse of her. Her blog is pretty good and entertaining. She is a young Rock Head lady....doing and going through the stuff that most Rock Head girls go through, all while dealing with some things that most of us could not handle (I mean outside of the back pain that she must be dealing with due to those wonderful breasts). She is a cool chick. Go check her out and tell her I sent you.


-the Muthafuckin BULLY

did y'all really think I wasn't gonna say who's boobages I was talkin bout? Do you really think that the BULLY won't embarass someone? ........get the fuck outta heeeeeeerrrreee.

Barrack Obama is my Nero (Negro-Hero)

Memorial Day Weekend, SOuth Beach

WWWoooooooowwwwwwww

A nigga’s weekend was soooo much fuckin fun. That trip was the most fun that I have ever had I think….I mean maybe. Maybe I’m just getting older and appreciating shit more……Naaaaahhh, that shit was OFF THE DAMN CHAIN!!

Firstly…I mean, the biggest most influential part of the trip….the part that made it most fun was the crew. Then came the tons o’ women, and boose and sun and beach.

Crew Rundown

E-dot: One of the Boys from Mech. Eng. School. Dude didn’t talk to me for a whole semester…tombout “You look liked a big ol’ asshole…I didn’t know why the other guys even hung out with you” his words. He is one of my bestfriends and has been for 5-6 years.

Big Chris: This cat was down from the beginning. My moms loves him. We call the den at momma’s house “Big Chris Room”. I went on a 3-4 day road trip with him once that included my first trip to Memorial Day Weekend South Beach in 2004. Another Bestfriend.

Young Billiam: Knew this cat in E-school. He was an Electrical Eng. Major. We partied some, but we were never in the same core crews. He’s a real nice good guy…I kept on teasing him for being a “Sweet Nigga” this weekend cause he was doing nice things for females. I’d be like “Fuck this!!” then he’d go “Hold on a minute…chill out” The good cop to my BULLY. Spent most of my time paired up with this dude during the weekend. He is a real Stand up dude.

Solar, the brown guy: He is a member of Team M.E. (Mech. Eng.) Took numerous road trips with him and the rest of Team M.E. during school. He is Costa Rican. Costa Rica has no military and he completely embodies that. Great happy dude…never has any problems with anyone and no one can ever have a problem with him. Another all around Great dude.

Ok if I write out what happened in story format this shit will be waaaaaay too damn long, so I am gonna break each day up and spit it out in bullet form. If you don’t like it….then, well…yeah, you can blow me.

Thursday Night:
- I flew into Miami…Big Chris and Billiam flew into Lauderdale. (shit was too late for us to hit the Sex Club with Quebie so we just headed downtown)
- We gawked at some thick white broads…tried to find the Reggae Club, I took a poo in the public bathroom in the downtown club area next to the river (I’m a damn man damnit)
- I ended up linking up with a cute curvy short dark Haitian chick….body was on pppoooooiiiinntttt. Young Billiam was the super wingman (Nigga deserved an award)
- I’m standing with shorty Hatian with a dquiri and her not so attractive cousin comes up, bumps my arm and holds out and empty cup……bitch gets the crazy look. “What the hell you want?” “Some drink?” …..”Nigga you MUST ask, say please and thankyou….don’t come up to me bumping me and holding out no cup”……”Ok…here is a little” (Give her what ever was suspended in my straw) I ended up pouring her a little after she said please and shit (Later she tried will with the same thing and he gave her a nice bit….ol’ sweet nigga but he was doing the best job possible as wingman. Nigga was amazing.”
- We end up giving them a ride to their car. Car was full so we had to lap it up. I was driving and wanted shorty in my lap.
- Shorty straddled me……big chris pulled us from the driverseat. (I told that nigga I could still drive with her on me….)
- Shorty’s cousin’s car ended up with Shorty’s bare ass prints smeared all on the passenger side windows and roof of the car….and I learned that shorty was cleanly shaven…..giggitty ( I didn’t hit, just a little pat and tickle while Billiam put the cousin through all of the Kamasutra Poses across the hood of the rental car….he didn’t hit…but he damn sure had her in the Downward dog position while conversing….wingman extraordinaire)
- We headed back to Miami…..got Free cake from Don Rodrigo…..Sang and dance to “Booty Butt Cheeks” and “Do the Homie” as we went into the I hop
- ….left Ihop and the sun was up.

Friday:
- Checked into the hotel and started drinking immediately
- Got drunk and started walking the strip
- Billiam and I ended up meeting a couple brizzles at the bar in the hotel
- Followed brizzles to the club, Prive
- I left the line to go score some henessy from the liquor store down the way
- Re-upped our buzz on straight hen-dog and bottled water while in line
- Sold the last bit of Hen in bottle to niggas in line for $10
- Got loose as fuck in the club
- Eventually Big Chris, E-dot, and Solar showed up and we had more drinks…..
- E-dot takes shot…makes gasface…hurls a little….right there at the bar
- E-dot keeps on partying
- I realize my phone is lost
- I realize my knife is lost
- I get super overly pissed
- I almost cry like a bitch (don’t ask….I was on some other shit that night)
- I alternate being pissed about loosing phone and getting on hoes (Like dance dance dance….sulk sulk sulk repeat)
- Me and Billiam leave Club….
- Call my phone…no answer
- Call little sis….She said she just finished talking to broad that had my phone and she was pissed cause chick hung up on her
- I get extra pissed cause bitch pissed off sister
- I tell Billiam to go back to the boys…I’ll find my phone myself….
- Billiam was smart/sane enough to not leave drunk raging BULLY alone
- Billiam keeps BULLY from being arrested (yyyeeeaaaahhh)
- I finally talk to chick that has phone
- She tells me to meet her at 10th and Collins
- I think she says 5th and Collins
- I show up at 5th and Collins and start hounding every female I see (Walkin up on them…”Bitch, you lookin for me?....Where my phone bitch”
- Call my phone back up…learn I need to go to 10th and proceed there…
- At 10th and Collins I repeat the “Bitch you lookin for me……Where my phone bitch” routine.
- Chick calls and tells me to get it from front desk and we order them Mimosas for in the morning (What?…..Mimosas are the shit)
- I holler at k@liente (Pretty ass) and tell them we are gonna get pizza near their hotel. I ask if she wants to go get some with us
- K@li says naw, you go get the pizza and bring it up to us
- BULLY says “Fuck that…..you better come down here and wait with us”. But Billiam steps in “…Naw tell ‘em we’ll get it and bring it to ‘em” (good cop to my BULLY)
- Pizza shop runs outta dough…gonna be an hour before we can get pizza
- BULLY says “Fuck them…lets get us these 2 last pieces and bug out!”
- Billiam “Naw man….we can wait”
- The hardest white midget ever comes in with a real ass goon like nigga. Goon Nigga goes off on some white dude and sufficiently punks everyone in the pizza shop (The one on 11th between Collins and ocean) Goon Nigga leaves…Billiam says something to me…..
- Goon nigga comes back like “What was that???”
- Billiam goes “I-I-I-I was talking t-t-t-to him” and points at me
- BULLY ……was still silent as a bitch
- BULLY was not trying to get shot up in a pizza shop by trick daddy’s cousin
- We take pizza to K@li
- K@li thanks BULLY
- BULLY says “Don’t thank me….thank Billiam. If it was up to me I woulda left and yall would not have had shit”
- We leave
- The sun was coming up and we were too tired to even try to get in there and rub on booties…..even though K@li’s cousin did come to the door in a wifebeater and some big ass perkie titties in some sort of sports bra. A nigga was too tired to even stare.
- Niggas went to sleep.

I got 3 more days to talk about….maybe I will come with more instalments….maybe I won’t.

Do you want to hear more?
Things get worse/better as the weekend progressed. Friday was the only day with out some sort of naughty Trollop action.

-the Muthafuggin BULLY

VOTE FOR E-DOT DDDDOOOIIIIIIITTTt and tell all your firends to

If E-dot Wins the Grand Marnier thing (I'm tombout the grand prize trip to Paris) I will post a pic of Steve aka Peter Black.

Thats right....I'm giving dick shots for victory.

Yes, even you...Coco La Rue, can see my dick too.

Go vote for E-dot.

www.mygrandmarnier.com Vote for Elliot Carter in Orlando, Fl.

Hell yeah, I'm trying to ride shirt tails into Paris.

VOTE FOR E-DOT

Noooo, I know what you're thinking and no, he is not entered into a Light Skinned Negro Contest...he entered some sort of Grand Marnier contest so go on over their to http://mygrandmarnier.com and vote for E-dot (Elliott Carter) and his story about his chick saying yes.

Ol' wankster ass mellow yellow nucka.

E-dot.....you my nigga!!



-the BULLY

Introduciiinnnnggggg the Mohawk Gringo

Yeeeeaaahhhh, the Mohawk Gringo is kinda like an internet Celebrity....sorta, but he is the HAPPIEST MAN ON THE INTERNET.

We're actually old friends, he is the writer of the first blog that I ever read, the reason that I started bloggin'. I knew him back before he was the Mohawk Gringo, back when he was just some crazy lookin' gringo.

He wrote a post introducing himself and threw in a couple of stories aboutchur boy from a trip to Tampa. They are pretty funny, but he is the ass that shaved his balls with the girl's razor the next morning, but I'm just glad he took a shower. Dude would take 2 outfits for a trip. I'm talkin the clothes he was wearing and another pair o' pants and another shirt that was usually so snug and fruity that it could have easily been confused with one of his little sister's blouses. He usually would have his girlfriend (His "South Florida Pussy"....his words, not mine) come up from West Palm so they could get their sex on. Then on the ride back, while steadily scratching the shit outta his junk say something like "Hey, Bully, don't you hate it when you have sex and then the lube dries up and gets all itchy..."

the BULLY: "Ugh, bitch, naw. I fuckin' take showers.......did you not shower? Have you not showered since yesterday morning?"
Mohawk Gringo:"......nooo" **hung head in shame**

So, not only is he the HAPPIEST MAN ON THE INTERNET he is also one of the nastiest.

Oh, and there was that time he cooked me salmon for Valentine's day, too...but that is another story.

But, yeah, he has an awesome newsletter that he sends out damn near daily. Its always entertaining. He is a great dude/friend. Go on over and check him out at MohawkGringo.com. Sign up for his news letter. Tell him Bully sent you. (Really, go over and sign up for his news letter, tell him I (the BULLY) sent you. I get drinks for referrals.)

He is gonna post a blizzog sometime soon, introducing his damn self (and tellin a couple of stories about me that you never heard) so be on the look out.

-the BULLY

Thanks Everyone For the Happy Birthday Wishes

See....I'm not ungreatful. I'm just a lazy procrastinaor.

I really did appreciate all the "Happy B-day!" stuff. It all really helped to make my day great.

It was great....even though neither Chocl8t nor Kiki (or even Baby Kiki Wallace) sent me a pic of their booties.

Matter of fact, no one sent me pictures of booties. I did get a couple of titty pics, but nooo booty pics. Not even from a glow in the dark negress that posted a pic of herself droppin a dime on the toilet (Ms. Puddin) .

Y'all are great....I don't care what anyone *cough*Slaus*cough* might say about y'all via personal corporate e-mails with trumped up fancy signatures touting positions like engineer of this and that and account manager of this.

I started this out feeling all nice and happy then blogger fucked up and I had to re-write and then the mood got a lil darker. And then since I started shouting people out I figured I would take this oppurtunity to say that I want to punch Don in his eye...maybe choke that man out or something.....catch him with the pointy part of my elbow right over his left eye. No hard feelin's homey....I just think maybe we should get into a fight or something. You are kinda like my antithesis...ol' poem writing negro. You prolly read the newspaper too......


Mr. Pickles

the BULLY is OHN it!!

It kinda looks like your boy has a mohawk, doesn't it?

But, yeah, I have the unique distinction of being the first Male Model for www.ohellnawl.wordpress.com. I tried to get 'em to send some them O Hell Nawl drawls...the Hussy ass Heffa Thongs that is, but they didn't think the Blogosphere was ready to be that up close and personal with Steve.

But, yeah, them there negroes be my peoples over there at www.ohellnawl.wordpress.com so go check 'em out. Oh, and you can check their site with links to the drawls and stuff at www.ohellnawl.com. Tell 'em the BULLY sent you and I'll try to parlay this into them giving me some more free shit and drawls and all that there like that there.

Anyway.....I got some news for y'all folks. The new site for TEAM DIESEL is now up. We done started things off with a bang...ha ha. Y'all head on over and check things on out.

-the BULLY aka El Capitan Pinga Loca (The captain of Team Diesel)