I'm not even gonna title this shit

Holy shit.....my weekend has sucked.

Shit, 2010 has been sucking........and no one has been sucking on me....not even a little bit.....not even a lick lick lick kiss "Is that good enough?"

So, yeah, my b-day is in Feb, so that means my car registration is about to expire, so that means it's time to get my vehicle registered in Md. ........Yeah, that's totally gonna be like $600 to get the car and the trizzuck registered and shit. Oh, but wait, Md has Vehicle inspections....that shit is gonna run me atleast 60 bucks per vehicle......oh, and Md. has like the most strict vehicle inspection criteria in the motherfuckin' country.....not a problem for the sexy lil Maxima, but the Old Bitch....yeah, that's gonna be a problem.....

Shit that I know is gonna have to be fixed/replaced/removed to pass inspection:
-Limo ass tint has got to go (that's that bullshit...STRAIGHT UP. I've had that dark tint on my shit for like 6-7 years....it has enabled me to get my fuck on in a pretty public place....like in the parking lot RIGHT in front of a Hookah Bar. Fuck you......at least she was my girlfriend...and not yours....our someone's wife.)

-Muffler...gotta gotta put one BACK on the truck. Yeah, it was perfectly fine until I crawled under the truck one day with a hacksaw in hand.......Yeah, that shit def upped the redneck level of the truck by a few notches....it was/is awesome.

-Leaky ass power steering unit: Who gives a shit???? aint like I didn't disconnect that shit and rode out with it for like 6 months.....hhmmmm that gives me an idea. If I disconnect it again, and let all of the fluid run out, then hey.....no leaky ass power steering unit....no problem (Yeah, I think I just figured out how to beat the system. So fucking what if you have to be a damn MAN to steer that bitch. I'm a damn MAN, if you can't handle it, then keep yo bitch ass out of the driver's seat)

-Door handle....So, part of the inspection criteria is that you must be able to open all doors from the inside and out......yeah, my whole driverside door handle situation is fucked.......straight FUCKED. Like, even if I could find another door handle fixture and shit to put back in there, it wouldn't matter because the sheet metal that you are supposed to mount it to is torn.......it doesn't bother me to wind down the window and open the door from the outside, why does it bother you and or the state of Md.??? ....bitch

-Emissions....they check that shit too..I don't know for sure if my emissions are gonna come out bad, but seeing how I have had issues with my exhaust gas recirculation system....I'm pretty sure my shit is dumping a few extra chemicals into the atmosphere. Maybe I will remedy that by installing a lil cotton ass filter whilst I am putting in my new cheap ass muffler.......yeah, I went on line and found the cheapest muffler that I possibly could find. It is like $27. I'm gonna clamp that shit on as shittily as I possibly can....and hope like hell that shit falls off in the parking lot RIGHT after they give me my inspection sticker saying I passed.

Yeah, your vehicl only has to pass inspection once. That pisses me off, like I there has to be a billion other old ass cars in Md that are shittier than my truck, but since they were last bought/sold when they were new/pretty new they easily passed inspection and can now rot afuckingpart....but the truck (Mind you, it will be 15 this summer) has to go through this shit. Straight Byoolshit.


The Verizon vs AT&T commercials are tripping me the fuck out. Lemme preface this part of the rant with a joke. (Yeah, I stole this shit from Micheal Conyers.......I'm sure most of y'all don't even remember him)

So.....a mouse and an elephant are walking through the jungle.......just coolin out and shit...smokin' on a fat ass blunt. The elephant was bogartin' the shit out of the blunt, tomboutsum "Bitch, I'm big as fugg.....I gotta hit this shit longer....the logistics on this shit is bananas..."

Anyway.....

The motherfuckas are walking through the jungle and the motherfuckin' mouse falls in a big ass hole...like fell all the way to the bottom of that bitch.

The elephant, higher than a muhfuggah is like "Aye lil nigga, don't even sweat it...I gotchu" This big sumbitch pulls out his dack and drops down into the hole.

The mouse is PISSED ".....the fuck wrong witcho big ass?"

Elephant "Naw, muhfuggah, no homo, but you can run up my dick and be out the hole n' shit"

So, the mouse ran up on the elephant's dick and made it out the hole and was all happy and shit, but made sure to wash the shit outta his feet cause the elephant used to fuck a lotta hoes.

So, a few weeks later...they are out kickin it again. Walkin' in the jungle.....smokin a blunt (the mouse made the elephant buy this time)

So, yeah, they are walkin' and shit and all of a sudden, the elephant falls in a huge ass hole. The mouse is like "Hey, homey, don't even sweat it.....I gotchu" Mouse runs off, and shows back up about 45 mins later....with his mercedes.

The mouse hollars out the window "Hey, dog, reach your long ass Gonzo from the Muppets ass nose and grab my bumper. Grab hold of my bumper and I'll pull you out"

So, the mouse pulls the big ass elephant out of the hole and all is well.

Moral of the story...if you have a Mercedes, you don't need a big ass dick.


So, Verizon and AT&T is such a dick contest. Verizon is all "Hey America, look how big my dick is....my dick is big and red and covers up yo big ass tv screen, motherfuckah." and AT&T is all like "Nigga, look how good I am with my moderately sized dick.....look at what I can do and how well I can do it. So what if you dick is big, Verizon, nigga you still don't know how to fuck. Nigga, my stroke is SICK, son." And verizon comes back like "Yeah, well...my dick is HUGE kid.....mother fuckin huge....nigga, they call me DANGLE in this motherfuckuh."

AT&T is like "So, bitch, you still cant work them corners and side walls like me......who gon' check me?"


So, yeah, again I realized that Md. Has some wack ass laws. I had a run with that shit this weekend. Led to a really shitty weekend...gonna cost me a super grip ass grip (Yeah, so that shit is on top of the shit for registration and truck repairs and oh, yeah, the $1400-$1700 dollars worth of dental work I need done because I started grinding my teeth in my sleep after I lost my job) Shit aint too good for your boy right now.

So, I have a friend, a female friend that I have been super nice too, sympathetic to her fucked up ass situations and shit. Taken her out, bought her food and drinks, let her stay in hotel rooms with me a couple times, free of charge, I've spent countless hours on the phone with her while she cried about her ex-boyfriend and shit...actually if you go back a few years a bunch of cock blocking ass hours in person too. I've been stupid nice to chick. Stupid nice, especially considering I'm not even trying to fugg. She ain't ugly, and under normal circumstances I damn sure would have tried to put some in her hair, but she is the ex of one my best friends...yeah, E-dot, I'm talking about your girl.

So I tell her about my FUCKED up weekend (via yahoo im), she asks if I am serious about what I told her and then goes on to talk about how she just saw someone get beat down by the cops or some shit. Like...my fuckin' problem didn't matter worth a shit. And believe you me, my shit is/was pretty really seriously fucked.

Yeah, she can thank her damn self for losing someone, that she has said herself, was one of her best friends that has always been there for her.....good job, B.

Ummm what else????


......Idk

I guess I'll save some for later.


-the Muthafuggin BULLY

Maybe I should blog on it.....

I'm not, though.

Not now, at least.

Ok, maybe I will.......

Sometimes I wish I could feel a certain way about certain things......but then maybe sometimes I'm glad I don't feel a certain way about sertain things.

Most of the time i wish I didn't feel shit about a lot of things.

Used to be that way.....life was a little more dull, though, but a lot more carefree.

Fuckin' trade offs.

I feel way more shit about shit now than I ever have....it sucks.

Ugh....I need to detox, but don't quite have the strength to do it, ok maybe I have the strength, but not the dsicipline.

Fuck it.........I actually have both. I just lack the desire to do it....whole hearted desire, at least.

I know what needs to be done, and I should just do it.


I really should.....logically, what I'm doing is pointless.

Too bad the non-logical side of me is punk.

Dear Regularly Sex Having Muthafuchahs

FUCK YOOOOUUUUUUAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Naw, seriously........fuck you.


.....Ugh

Yeah, so my mood is getting all fucked up. And I've been through this before. I know what i am getting into, and what it will turn into. When I was in Texas I went for a long ass time without getting any guts, and when I finally did.....OH. EM. GEE.

Like.....that shit changed my whole perspective on life and the world and all that shit. After I got that long due non manually achieved nut, the birds sang prettier, the sky was bluer, the sun was warmer and brighter.....fuckin Rush Limbaugh wasn't that bad of a dude and Bush was actually a pretty aight President. And I was happy and had that "Everything is gonna be alright" feeling.

Now....I'm just a little pissy.

But I'm getting worse.

I've slept with....yes, JUST SLEPT....like cuddle a little, like platonicly, with my homegirl (We have always just slept together and stuff...not on a relationship type thing,just on a "hey, this is nice" type thing). We have done it twice. The first time it was cool. The second time not so much. I was like "We aren't gonna be doing this for long......this platonic shit isn't what I want and I am just gonna get pissed and be like fuck all that.

I think I am at that point now......like 3-4 days later.

My pissivity level is increasing exponentially. ....fuck that linear shit. (non math peeps, Google a graph of y=a+bx and y=x^n then compare.......yeah, nigga, I'm assigning homework)


I kinda wanna see if I can finish out 2009 with out having secks....but I might end up flippin the fuck out on a mofo.....if around the middle of November y'all hear about some thick ass Mighty Joe Young ass looking nigga running around the DMV grippin up women's asses and slappin the shit out of their boyfriends.....then you will know the strain was too much for my feable little sanity.



-the Muthafuckin' BULLY

Oh, oh yeah

My dad's twin brother died a couple weeks ago.

Believe it or not, I actually felt bad for my dad. My dad's twin brother was one of the VERY few things he truly loved. He truly loved his twin brother, his mom, and Kappa Alpha fuckin Psi.

His moms died when I was like two....and no she was not a particularly nice lady. I mean, fuuuccckkkk, yeah, I think I was more aware of things than your average 2 yr old, and maybe that is evident of me remembering shit from when I was two, but she was never really all that nice to my sister or I.

She didn't like my moms.

Actually, none of those low life piece of shit motherfuckers (dad's fam) liked my mom.

Fuck them.

Anyway, my dad's twin brother died and I actually felt bad for my dad. Fucking getting older and softer and all emotional is a fuckin' trip.

So moms and sis are going to the funeral.

Well, moms, sis, and sis' dude are going down ther.


Pops wants me to come.

Fuck that.

1) I don't go to funerals. I put on the suit and meet you back at the crib where people will be after the funeral. I'll eat, and I'll kick it with you and make jokes and shit. I don't do funerals. When Big Chris' pops died, I put on the suit, drove moms to the Church, picked moms up from the church and went back to the crib, and cut jokes.

2)WWWWHHHYYYYYYY the fuck should I be expected to show up to some nigga's funeral that prolly wouldn't even be dead right now if he didn't smoke so many fuckin' rocks?

I mean, it kinda does make me sad, cause I know that pops won't be living much longer either, as he has also enjoyed a great many of the rocks, but shit.

Another question is will I go to Pops' funeral when ever he dies?

Idk....I mean....I can't even say I would want to join up with those people after the service and eat and cut jokes.

Just thought about something....someone once told me that they were jealous of how close I am with my family and because I was able to always do stuff with them.

I don't fuck with ANYONE on my dad's side of the family. Don't have a relationship with my my moms mom. Haven't cared for my uncle since I was like 9 or 10. and Care MUCH less for him now...or the past few years.

For all real purposes I have 2 people in my family that I kick it with. 2.

I mean yeah, me and moms and sis have a real real good thing going, but it is just us. I think it would be nice to be able to go and visit this uncle and that aunt and this cousin and that cousin. I don't even fuckin respond to my dad's twin brother's kids when they write on my myspace wall. (Ok, I have no real reason for that, other than they have the family name. I shouldn't be so bad about them...i should reach out to them........)

Anyway....that's enough of that shit.

-the ever lovin BULLY

......Ugh

I'm tired.

The weather is all shitty, like grey and a little rainy.

Traveling all last week has kinda knocked me off of what was becoming a decent sleep routine, and hydration regiment.

I am feeling a little homesick. Like.... there is just stuff going on back home and I feel like I should be there for my mom and sis.

Top 3 things going on at home:
1) Moms is kinda sick
2) My sister is dating some dude (not that he is a bad dude, but I would like for her to be with someone that is doing more with his life, but he seems nice and he is making my happy so that is what is most important)......there was some drama that started over a rumor (I hope thats all it was) (And since my sis is dating dude that leaves her less time to spend with moms)
3) My Dad's brother died on Saturday and the funeral stuff is kinda stressing moms out because my dad's fam has been straight up dicks to her before (I don't fucks with my dads fam....)
4) I'm missing the Amazon....yeah yeah yeah, I don't think she was right for me and all that, but I do care about her and feel really close to her. I don't bitch about my problems to many people. Not like personal emotional type stuff. And when I mean not many I mean like only Moms and the Amazon and my sis. And I had gotten to the point to where I talked about more stuff to the Amazon. And I miss the little stuff like watching tv and shit with her and like when I am run across cool restaurants or museums or some shit, the first thing that goes through my mind is "Ooh, I should bring the Amazon here, she would love this". And I think like If I miss doing all of this with her why do I not with her. And I guess it goes back to her not being right for me. I miss her when I haven't been with her, but the feeling fades after being with her for a while and spending extended periods of time with her.

I don't understand that shit.



So, anyway, there is a void left by her. Pretty damn big void. (Yeah, your boy is open........like i spend time with a nice chick and I want more.....and mmmooooorrrreee. And to make things worse, I think going through this whole no job thing has made me a lot softer. I don't handle adverse situations well.)

I ended up hanging out with her some on Sunday night. It was hella cool, but then it kinda wasn't. It wasn't the same (big surprise there). The differenceness built up in me which led me to abruptly leaving.

I wish I never went over there.

I went because she called me to get some stuff I had left over there, like a couple old t-shirts and a pair of old ass sweatpants. I was kinda hoping that meant she just wanted me to come over so we could hang like we used to do.

Yeah, well, its my bed.....I gotta lay in it.....I gotta lay in it by mydamnself.

-Mr. Pickle

Life Changing....

....I just got a damn hand job.

That's right....a nice ol' Jack Handey for the Muthafuckin' BULLY.

Got a damn Jack Handey that lasted until WWWEEELLLLL after Steve burped up a sizeable amount of baby batter (Yeah, I just used Minista's vulgar ass term).

...Nigga a gat damn Jack Handey that lasted until Steve had lost a good deal of size and then got wiped up with a warm ass wash cloth.

I was recently involved with someone for damn near a fuckin' year and never got a cot damn Jack Handey (Yeah....if I never even got a Jack Handey I bet you can guess how much sloppy top I got) ......or even got wiped up. Shiiiiittt, I was the one that would get up and get what was needed to clean up whoever's gushy mess.


Yeah......Nothing like a real good Jack Handey to help put things into perspective. Fuck all that selfless ass giving and shit.

Fuuuuuccckkkkk.

Your boy is out to get Jack Handeys and lots o' sloppy top..... and give back to those that give.

And those that don't give....well, I'm still gonna try to get a Jack Handey and sloppy top.

-the Ever Lovin' BULLY

You know what really grinds my gears?????

Bitch ass, punk ass, sissy ass, Yankee ass, metro ass rules of fuck ass fashion.

What the fuck!!??!?!!

Why can't a man just put on some decent clothes that match and don't stank and be good?

Naw......a man gotta make sure his jeans are of the right darkness and shit for the certain time of day and shit. Thats some ol' weak ass metrosexual punk ass shit.

What ever happened to men being men and letting women be women? Man be tough, woman be pretty?

And you know what makes me even more pissed?


That if I don't follow those punk ass sissy ass dressing rules then I look like a fuckin' tacky douche.

I hate looking like a douche.

Now I gotta make sure my darker jeans are dark enough to be worn at night and shit.

That shit is sooooo hella homosexual.

Maaaannnnn I wish I could just put on some fuckin man ass clothes, look like a fuckin man and be happy. What do I want to wear tonight? I wanna wear my fly ass "Power to the People" T-shirt with my favorite Levis, but are my levis dark enough? Even though the party's dress code says casual....are all the sissy ass dressing greeks and shit gonna be casual and shit? Am I gonna show up in a button up and dark jeans, be all ornery feeling, cuss out the chick I'm gonna be gettin all giggity giggity with and fight some old ass frat guys?

I don't know.....maybe I shouldn't drink.....or maybe I should just drink before I go....and hope I'm mellowed out before I get there.

Fuuuuucccckkkkk I pre-paid for this shit.

Fuck it.

I'm gonna rock out with my cock out.


-the Muthahfuckin' BULLY

I'm back for now.

Soooooo, yeah, your boy has been extra ghost for a lil over a month.

BLOW ME!!

I been doing shit, not doing shit, waiting to hear back on shit, not hearing back from shit, putting up with shit, getting rid of shit, been a lil shitty, been treated a lil shitty and all that there like that there. In the end….I’m still me and I still say “Fuck all that shit!”

So…I guess I’ll begin updating y’all with the female situation.

Me and the Amazon are still kickin it hard as hell……….HHHAAAAAAaaaaaa!!! PSYCH, niggas…PSYCH YO’ MIND, MAKE YO’ BOOTY SHINE!!

What had happened was she had some issues with her apartment. Water leaked into her joint from the apt above and shit got to smelling all musty and moldy and shit. Not to healthy/safe….especially since she has a 5 month old. She decided to get outta there and crash with a friend for a bit (She was already supposed to be moving into another apt in a 1.5 weeks anyway). Here is how that went down.

Ring Ring
BULLY: Hello
Amazon: Hey….blah blah, My friends roommate just came home with a dog and I think my baby is allergic to dogs…
BULLY: What the fuck???? So Your girl just showed up and saw her room mate with a dog in the joint?
Amazon: Yeah…blah blah blah
BULLY (I thought the shit sounded kinda fucked up, but she was upset and had the baby and all that. I didn’t want to make things worse/upset her anymore with my interrogating soooo..): That’s fucked up. Just come up here. Come stay with me.

Now, I am 27.5 years old. Never had a room mate. Only people I have ever shared a house with for more than five days was Moms and my sis. This shit wasn’t gonna be easy , but I wanted to help her out…..yeah, so I’m bitch like that.

Sooooo, she’s staying with me. Now, BULLY as I am, I still believe in respecting people’s homes and all that and showing tremendous amounts of gratitude when they let you stay there…and especially when they are helping you out. Like, if I come to stay at your place for 3 or more days I’m gonna hit the grocery store for you. Replace the bottle of juice that I killed. Maybe cook you some dinner and shit. When I leave I pretty much like shit to be about where it was before I came, if not better. Amazon….. not so much.

Don’t get me wrong, she did do some things, and I did appreciate it very much. She made my bed everyday, did my laundry and folded it up, she wiped down my kitchen counter top once or twice and loaded my dishwasher once or so. She cooked once and bought me dinner twice. That shit was real nice.

But, looking at the whole picture it wasn’t even. 10-11 days and I was provided for 3 meals (Guess who provided US with meals the rest of the time. And the one time that she cooked she packed the leftovers for her lunch the next day. Didn’t even offer it to a nig). She did my laundry, but she ran my washer and dryer a ton. While she was there my shit didn’t go 2 days with out running. And yes, the vast VAST majority of the shit getting washed and dried was hers and her baby’s. She was even using the hot water and shit.


Eventually I had to start asking her to get shit. I asked her to bring home some paper towels and a case of bottled water. The next day she wanted food from this restaurant that she was fiending for and said she was gonna get that for dinner. I said “cool”. She gets the dinner, she tells me she wants some cookies so I go and get some cookie dough (Yeah, another time where She did something, but got something in return also. It didn’t really work for me like that). We eat, and we are full and happy then she puts on the sweet voice and goes “I forgot to get the bottled water and paper towels today.” (Call me stuck on thinking people are trying to run game, but the way that came across to me was that she thought that since she bought dinner that I wouldn’t worry about having her get the paper towels and stuff)

BULLY: That’s ok……you can get them tomorrow.

Anyway, so that’s how shit was going (I’m not even gonna say nothing about my toaster over that she tried to cook a pop tart in and ended up burning shit the fuck up. Had my joint smelling smokey as hell…and this was after I had been gone to the gym for like an hour and the glass door and window had been open. Toaster oven never got cleaned and she only left it in there for a minute…..Yeah, in a minute that bitch smoked enough to permeate my apt and leave the paint on the top of my toaster oven all fucked up as if there was hot fiyah and flames and shit …yeah, really)

So after her being there for a week and a half I go to help her move into her new apt. It was rainy as hell (Yeah, tropical storm Faye was in that bitch) and I’m helping her pack up the rest of her shit and move. I’m up in her kitchen helping her pack up her shit and why is her motherfuckin Fridge and pantry CHOCKED FULL OF SHIT?
CHOCKED FUCKIN’ FULL.

BULLY: Why didn’t you bring some of this food up to my place
Amazon: It would have been out of my way to come here then go up to your place.

Y’all I went way outta my fucking way to do shit and help this female out. I fuckin let her live with me for a week and a half. Moved her big shit (sofa, love seat and dining room set) into my mom’s garage while she waited on her new place to open up. Y’all, I even burned a half day’s vacation to go down and help her get her shit together so she could get out of the moldy musty ass apartment. A halfday. I’m a fuckin’ engineer. I get payed pretty fuckin well. A half a fuckin day is waaaayyyyy more than fuckin $60. But this chick couldn’t take an extra 40 minutes outta her day to bring some food to feed her and the guy nice enough to let her and her 5 month old stay with him so that they didn’t have to stay in a moldy musty ass apartment.

So, yeah, I told her how I felt like I went outta my way to do stuff for her and felt like I wasn’t getting it back. She told me that I wasn’t being fair because she has a kid and has to work a second job and she is tired at the end of the day.

Yeah, she pretty much told me that since she has to do more I have to settle for less.

YYYYyyyeeeeaaahhhhh, ok. Well. Whatever. I did someone some good deeds and shit. Ok. I finished helping her move (put in a total of about 7-8 hours) then went and got her food from Burger King when I was done. And as far as relationship shit went I was done. I still wanted to be friends and kick it with her some, but there wasn’t anyway I could see me being with someone that has such different views on something like that. I’m a very generous, appreciative type person, but I like to get it back. I’ll understand if there is shit that you can’t do, but I’m not down with shit when you just won’t do cause it isn’t easy for you.

Anyway….the next weekend I’m out at a cookout that she invited me to. It was at her friend’s place. The same friend that had the room mate that just up and came home with a dog. Now by now, as told by the Amazon, the room mate had gotten rid of the dog because she realized that she would not have the time for it…….Yeeeaahhh.

So, I’m there, playing some spades and I ask “So, what did room mate do with the dog?”

Amazon’s friend was like ”…..Dog? What dog? My room mate didn’t ever have a dog. Where did you get that from?”

Yeah…..Amazon had done told me a story and played your boy like a poo-butt.

I blew her out in front of her friends…yeah, cause I’m tacky like that. I later texted with her a bunch to give her a chance to make some since outta shit, but she never came up with a decent story.

She went with :”Oh, well, I really just misunderstood the roommate. She told me she was thinking about getting a dog and then ended up not getting it.”
And shit like : “I did question friend when she said the room mate never had a dog….you just didn’t hear me”

Yeah, she got me. So, now I don’t really see me being friends with her anymore. Moms BULLY damn sure don’t like the chick anymore. Funny thing is….her furniture is still in Mom’s garage.

-the Muthafuckin' BULLY

P.s.:My little chick fetish has kinda kicked back in........Slim Chick #1 is doing quite well nowadays.

Yooo, BULLY, where you been?

Bitch....I been to Shaolin.

Ha ha, not really. Still in South Ga. Chillin' like a villian...with no need for penecillin.....that means Steve aint illin..... cause he only messes with clean women that are willin....it aint Slim Chick #2 thats top billin..... Its the Amazon thats been keepin me grinnin'.....In the lady and booby race she is hands down winnin'....it aint happened yet, but it won't be long before we start sinnin' (sexin')....we just started this game , but it feels like the 6th innin'....


Yeeeeaaahhhhh, y'all negros and negresses should not never give me positive reinforcement on shit.

But, yeah, I'm pretty much through with Slim Chick #2. Last time I talked to her was Monday evening, before gym. I haven't called her, she hasn't called me, but some did call me during my lunch break and left a message on the desk phonio. Me and the Amazon have really kinda hit it off. We e-mail and text each other all day and talk on the phone for hours at night time. I talked to Slim Chick a decent bit, but it felt like it was something I had to do. With Amazon I be all wanting to talk to her. And wanting to e-mail it up with her.

It is actually kinda scary to me. There was no ramp up or nothing...just like BOOM and we are on each other's minds like all the time.

There is a good size potion of me that doesn't trust whereever this is going....cause it is just too damn good, too damn soon.

And then there is the fact that she is a Soror of my Sis....and I have been envolved with another one of the sorrors (G-friend before last) and gone out with one or two others and banged a friend/roommate of other sorrors and my sister has been done bitched at me, like..leave my sorority alone....like I feel like I done gone through all these sorrors.

I'm keepin shit on the low. I normally always tell my sis about females that I'm kickin with, but this one is onna have to be on the hush hush. Ain't no point in getting everyone all riled up and then we end up kickin it for like a month and we are done with each other.

Anyway, I swear I'm gonna write a post with some sort of substance to it soon. I wanna do something worthy of being put up on O hell nawl.

-The BULLY

Ode to 34 DDD

This post is inspired by a fellow blogger. She is a very cute young lady....and yes....the boobages are very berry bountiful.

This goes out to you. (She said she would be too embarassed if I called her out like this so I won't say her name or link her or nothing)

I think I'm gonna take a stab at poem writing again

Ode to 34 DDD
by the BULLY

34 triple D's
They bring a big nigga like me to his knees
I hope she always continues to wear good bras
so them big ass titties don't end up at her feet
Everytime I look at her Steve jumps for joy and says Hurrah
cause from her chest them thangs stick out very far

Those 34 triple D's I would wear them as hat
Mostly the left one, the right would be jealous,
but I don't care about that
Seeing her from the back
her booty is enough to knock you of track
then you see her from the front.....
And DAAYUUMM, thats a hell of a Rack

She goes to the gym regularly
does legs and arms and crunches to keep that flat belly
But what I dream about
is seeing her running on that treadmilly.
aint a sports bra in this whole wide world
that could keep them thangs under control

I have asked and asked for a picture
I just really hope she doesn't have tiny ass nipples
I dedicate all of these lirics to you and your mammaries
I just hope that they do not make you leave my blog angrily
Now go ahead and stop being stingy
and send your boy a pic of atleast that right titty

Fin

Woooooo.....thats it right there.

Oh, yeah, I'm tombout GLO. Her titties are fuckin great. She posts pics every now and then then takes 'em down, so you will just have to lurk the shit outta her page to catch a glimpse of her. Her blog is pretty good and entertaining. She is a young Rock Head lady....doing and going through the stuff that most Rock Head girls go through, all while dealing with some things that most of us could not handle (I mean outside of the back pain that she must be dealing with due to those wonderful breasts). She is a cool chick. Go check her out and tell her I sent you.


-the Muthafuckin BULLY

did y'all really think I wasn't gonna say who's boobages I was talkin bout? Do you really think that the BULLY won't embarass someone? ........get the fuck outta heeeeeeerrrreee.

Day 3 in Sobe (Saturday)

*******Edit****** Check the for the Pics below!!!

This post is long as HHHEEELLLLL!!

Well, it was actually day 2, but it was the 3rd day of vacay. I got up late…we planned on hitting the beach after E-dot got lunch with his homeboy, a cool ass white dude that carried his shit in a Louie Bag, got lunch and Big Chris. I layed around trying to convince myself that I was gonna get in a little more sleep…..shit didn’t happen. Neither did the Beach…it started raining and did so off and on for most of the day. (It was those cool ass Florida rains where it will shit down rain for like 15-30 minutes and then the sun will come back out and it is nice again.) Anyway, I get showered, get fresh lookin and head out to where Big Chris and E-dot and Cool Ass White dude were. I left the Brown Guy and Billiam in the room sleeping and showering and shit.

So I get down to our favorite place in Sobe to eat, drink, and kick it during the day. Yep, News Café. I start drinkin and order food. By this time, E-dot, Cool Ass and Big Chris have been saucing it up for a few hours.

So we are sittin there drankin, I’m eating too, and watching all these bitches with bad ass bodies walk by in very little clothes….we also saw some bad body bitches too, but the good far outweighed the bad. One of E-dot’s boy’s from L.A. showed up with one his homies. They were pretty cool guys, but a little niggerish….walkin round that bitch with some sort of alcoholic concoction in a gatorade bottle tombout some “Yeah, try this…this is that new shit”. They join in with the shooting of the shit and the drinking. Then THEY showed up.

Another friend of E-dot showed up. She used to work with him or someshit. She was there with a bunch of her homegirls (5-6 of em in all). Soooo yeah, your boy started scoping….I knew one of them broads was gonna have to be digging your boy. Didn’t see anyone that leapt out at me…but I end up seeing one with a tat of Africa. That shit spoke to my kinda afrocentric ass and she had a big ass (Nice wide hips….like I told E-dot, I can’t see hips the width of my shoulders and not want to grip ‘em from behind), so I spoke to her. Started out with a compliment on the tat…..led into small talk small talk small talk….

And here is where I realized thing between me and her would get a little fun

Bully: (Notices decent sized diamond) Sooooo …..you married? I see you have ring on.
Hips: Yeah, I’m married. Blah blah.
BULLY: OK (Turns around and starts to walk off)
Hips: (Grabs BULLY and pulls him back) Naw, c’mon now. Don’t be like that.

Yep…..it was like that. But there is more

So we talk a little more and

Hips: So, what do you do?
BULLY: I do security….sometimes personal security.
Hips: (Grabs BULLY, Pulls him in tight) Are you going to be my bodyguard?
BULLY: Shiiiitttt, you better get that nigga you are married to to be your bodyguard. (I’m a funny ass negro)

Sooooo, yeah, we were getting our serious flirt on. BULLY arm around the back of her chair type me claiming her type shit. Touching her on the back of her neck with muh finger tips and shit. (Yeah, I do that shit…..so what)

But shit gets even better. There was another chick in the group. Even though my initial assessment didn’t show any obvious BULLY wanters there was another. And yes, she did come over. And . Started. Flirting and touching too. She sat in muh lap some, sat next to me all leaning on your boy and shit. The crew is looking at me like that young threesome is about to pop off. Shit was great. But I really didn’t even care about the other chick. I was feeling ol’ married ass Hips.

Also, while we were sittin there we saw Luenell.....she is most commonly known for her role as a prostitute in "Borat" or being on Comicview tombout she too cheap to by strapless bras, so she just hangs the straps off her shoulders where you can't see. Me and E-dot ran her down and took pics with her.

I tried to be a funny smart ass to her and she shut me down hard.

Then she made us both her little bitches

Luenell: Y'all know my name

E-dot and BULLY: (crickets..and deer in headlights look)

Luenell: Y'all niggas wanting pictures and don't even know my name....My name is Luenell

E-dot and BULLY: Oh, ok, Luenell we'll remember that

Luenell: Say it...say my name

E-dot and BULLY: luenell

Luenell: Say it again

E-dot and BULLY: Luenell

Luenell: Say it again...Say it loud

E-dot and BULLY: LUENELL!!

No bullshit.

Anyway, it go to lookin like the sky was gonna fall out, so we got up and walked the half block to our hotel. The chicks ened up coming by too. That shit was hella fun. Bout 12 muthafuggas in a little ass boutique hotel room. Muthafuggas that were already bout drunk and were drinking even more. E-dot turned the ipod deck thing on and niggas kept the party rollin for about an hour or so. So you know your boy, the no dancing ability having BULLY was all up on Hips’ izzass.

I don’t really remember shit else until night time (Well, I know me and the crew kept on drankin). We ended up going to Mansion that night. The girls were supposed to come too. It was $60 to wait in line, or $100 to get in no wait. None of Team Diesel like to wait so you know we dropped that Yard on it. The girls got there later, but the joint was at capacity so they found some other shit to get into.

It kinda sucked going to the club. It was rainy as fuck and we were walkin. We passed this one chick in like a gold bikini and some little short skirt type thing. She was kinda bad though. Nice big full titties…prolly D’s. Nice dark choclatey skin. Had some booty on her. She had a little bit of tude though so we aint really mess with her. She ended up in line with us, but she still kinda had some tude.

Anyway, me and the crew got in the club. It was jumpin. For the most part we all stayed together in the same area. We dancing and bullshittin and drinkin and shit. I end up pulling this random chicks top up while we were dancing. I’m tombout shirt and bra. Your boy had titties in his hands…..and mouth (don’t ask why). E-dot caught a couple pics of titties in my hands….

Later on I started walking around…thoroughly drunk by now. I see this Jazzy ass big girl. She was big, but it was all in a good shape. Ass and thighs and titties…and some gut. I’m dancing with her and grippin her hips (I can’t help it). I don’t feel any panty lines.

BULLY: Girl, you aint got no draws on……
Big Girl: Naw, its too hot to wear underwear down here.
BULY: (Grabs tittays) …but you are wearing a bra
Big Girl:………lol yeah…

Anyway…we got all types of inappropriate in the club, on the dance floor. Not to get too far into details but Steve came out and said hi for a bit and after I walked off I was putting my finger in people’s faces like “Hey, smell this.” (I did, accidentally touch one of my boys lip. It really was on accident. I felt real bad…and didn’t tell him where that finger had been)

But yeah, that was a good example of how that weekend wasn’t right. Shit was backwards. Normally things go Meet girl, get name, then number, then put jibby on her. That time it was meet girl, put jibby on her, get number, then get name. But a nigga ain’t complaining.

So…I end up walking off again. I end up upstairs and run into the chick that had on the gold Bikini. We all ended referring to her as Goldie. Goldie was just sittin there and I went up and started talking to her. She acted a little tudey at first but then warmed up on some ol I was just playin hard to get type shit. She was all like “You said you were gonna come find me and you did blah blah blah” Did I say that shit to her? Maybe in my druken game spittin flyness. Some ol shit that I say that is flyyy, but I have no intentions of following through on and then almost immediately forget that I ever even said that shit.

She tells me its her b-day or about to be her b-day or some shit (nigga I was real drunk). And we get to getting close and dancing and all that and I’m really feeling broad. And she is all nibbling on a nigga’s earlobe and kissing a niggas neck and shit……I was feeling the hell outta broad…which led me to something that a young pimpin man like myself (I was pimpin for the holiday weekend atleast) should never do……I kissed that ho in the mouth.

Yeah….I’m not proud of that shit, but I was really drunk and was really REALLY feeling that broad. (The crew ragged on me about it, but one of the boys linked up with another bad broad that was confessing her love to his ass…he, apparently was really REALLY feeling that broad too cause he kissed her in the mouth too)

Anyway…Goldie ended up blowing me off like I gotta go find my girls that I came here with. I’ll holler at you when the club is over. I never heard from her again. The other dude got chicks digits….but he only got the area code and 6 other digits. 310-XXX-XXXI don’t know.

But real talk…how you gonna be kissing on a nigga, get him to kiss you in the mouth and then not link up and atleast get some of Steve in your guts? I don’t just be kissing broads all in the mouth (and for the record there wasn’t any tongue…just a lil lip suckin….I think. I was fuckin drunk) all willy nilly and shit.

That was a funny day for me. I don’t normally crush…especially chicks that I have just met, but I not only fell for Goldie I was really feeling Hips too. Had me all like “I think Iike Goldie even more than Hips”. Sounding like a straight up BIIIIIIITTTCCCHHHH!!

So, anyway, I didn’t link up with Hips either that night and we ended up at this place called Big Pinks to get some Breakfast pizza around 530 in the am. I got to talking to these Black british chicks over the importance of black folks learning their heritage and figuring out where you came from all the way back to Africa and all that. I told chick that Black Americans kinda had to create our own thing over here in America because we weren’t allowed to carry on our culture and all that. I said it was good to know to a point, but tracing shit all the way bay to Africa was all but pointless…..mostly because it is damn near impossible. She called me ignorant and shit.

I got pissed. (I had drank too much and was too tired to continue arguing rationally) So I just abruptly got up said “Good night, nice meeting you.” And bounced.

We make it back to the hotel and the crew called me dirty and said I had Hepatitis XYZ.

That was Saturday.

-The Muthafuggin BULLY

Just like my Daddy.......naw, I don't think so

Ma Bully told me a loooonng time ago that I was a cold hearted bastard.

Yeah, she did, and yeah in a lot of circumstances I am.

I don't know if I ever blogged about this before, but I have a hard time empathizing with folks for a lot of things. And if I do empathize it doesn't always mean that I will really give a rats ass. Aaaannnndddd on top of that I get really uncomfortable with the whole expressing of emotions if the emotion isn't pissed, happy, or horny.

Case in point. A co-worker of mine lost his father this past weekend. I feel kinda bad for him, but I haven't said shit to him. Not a "Sorry bout your Pops" or "Are you ok" or none of that shit.
Another co-worker told me about a chick that used to work at the plant in S.C. and how she just died of cancer. I felt pretty bad for about a minute and then I realised that I had just confused her with a chick that I banged out a few times. Then I didn't really care so much anymore.I have to have some sort of bond, and not just a "Oh, oh yeah, I work with that guy" type bond. When my boy's Pop died I actually felt bad and went around come funeral time (I don't actually go to funerals......Hell, I wouldn't go to my own if they didn't lock niggas up in that box).

I guess it all boils down to how I grew up feeling about shit. There was just me, my moms, and my sister. Mom's sweated it out and made it good for me and my sister by herself. Very little interaction from the exteded family. There was just us. So thats how I am now. I have my small circle of family/friends and don't really give a fuck 'bout much else. I know who is there for me and have no need..or real reason to care about much else.

Damn, now that I think about it I'm not the cold hearted bastard that I used to be. I was actually felt bad when Pimp C died. I especially used to not give a fuck when celeberities died. I would be quick to say "I don't give a fuck if Tupac is dead. That nigga don't know me and would care if I died" I really used to not give a fuck. This is how gangsta I used to be. I remember when my Dad's mom died. I was like 2 or 3 yrs old. I didn't like that bitch. I didn't want to go to her funeral. I was 2 and a half and was like "So, I didn't like her anyway" (Real talk....I am not making this shit up)

Damn, I guess I'm not just like my Daddy. That nigga used to just not care. He told my moms, long before they divorced, that if she ever divorced him that he would break all ties with my sister and I. He might have been a cold hearted bastard but atleast that nigga knew how to keep his word. I don't think I could ever do some shit like that. Maybe cause I know what it is like to grow up without a pops, maybe just cause I know doing that shit is wrong......prolly a combination of the 2.